Offer/Threaten to post his pic on hot or not and then let the masses decide his fate?
Seriously, I'd let it go. If that's the largest problem you have then be thankful you have a good son, and know that he'll shave it when he's ready or when he's looking for employment and they tell him to. If he's got other issues focus on them, let the facial hair go.
Of course, you can indirectly tell him to shave it by not giving him / cutting back on the spending cash and forcing him into a job... but he could get one at a place where facial hair is a nonissue (or may already have one). I know in FL you can get a very part time job, at a few limited places (Grocery stores, fastfood places, some mall stores) at 14. Not sure where you live if that's the same.
Seriously, I'd let it go. If that's the largest problem you have then be thankful you have a good son, and know that he'll shave it when he's ready or when he's looking for employment and they tell him to. If he's got other issues focus on them, let the facial hair go.
Of course, you can indirectly tell him to shave it by not giving him / cutting back on the spending cash and forcing him into a job... but he could get one at a place where facial hair is a nonissue (or may already have one). I know in FL you can get a very part time job, at a few limited places (Grocery stores, fastfood places, some mall stores) at 14. Not sure where you live if that's the same.
Just make him realize how stupid he looks. Most kids go through phases where they make themselves look incredibly stupid but only realize it after the fact. I am pretty sure LOOKING LIKE GANDALF, falls under one of those 'incredibly stupid' phases.
StageLeft
No Lifer
- Sep 29, 2000
- 70,150
- 5
- 0
The same could be said of the average Goth, and the average Goth has a very low confidence, which is why they hang around with other goth loser friends in the first place. I knew a guy in university who'd taken a stick and painted meaningless magical symbols on it and varnished it. He'd walk around with it like he was a wizard. Trust me when I say that his confidence was anything but high.
uh...who cares? I had a beard when I was 14. My parents didn't like it, but they didn't care. Its not a big fvckin deal to have a beard.
Heh that's probably the best advice yet, unfortunately no matter what is said to him he's gonna have to come to the conclusion that he looks stupid by himself (unless it comes from a girl he's interested in at school) anything a parent says to him at 14 won't be listened to. Unless of course he's a lot maturer than most 14 year old boys in which case you're lucky badmouse
Mnementh
She WHAT?! What kind of dumb *beep* doesnt want her b/f to get a job?! Jesus, nothing like sucking the tit of your parents till your 35 :roll:
Link to this idiocy?
He already has money, he buys cards and makes up decks and sells them in ebay - one of his decks just placed in the world professional tournament, so he's got a lot of new orders & he raised his prices. There's a lot of $ in card games these days . . .
Then he is obviously a pretty bright kid. Sounds alot like me when I was 14. Most likely he is telling you he wants to look like "Gandalf" just to push your buttons. I didn't shave when I was that age because I was lazy, and I thought it was cool looking. I wouldn't worry about it, its not a big deal, your son won't turn in to a criminal.
It's comments like that, that make them want to hang around with other Goths, ignorant small minded people who call them losers because they like a certain look and it doesn't happen to fit in with the "norm".
Accept it people are different, I'm not a goth myself though I have friends who are or have been and they're just normal people with the same issues as everybody else, get over your bigotry.
Mnementh
GasX
Lifer
- Feb 8, 2001
- 29,033
- 6
- 81
Pick and choose your battles, this one hardly sounds worth it. If you give him a hard time about this, he'll just find some other way to rebel and it probably wont be as meaningless as facial hair. I'd let it slide.
HUH? Skoorb is trying to point out that the majority of the ppl that strive to be different than the norm in somewhat extreme ways are generally doing it in order to boost a low self-image. it's something about them that they have control over. How does that make him a bigot?
StageLeft
No Lifer
- Sep 29, 2000
- 70,150
- 5
- 0
That's fine that you think that way, but there is a reason why people see most goths as losers and it's because they are. I'm talking from a social fits-in-with-regular-people standpoint. They may be great people and have bright futures, etc. but nobody who's popular and well adjusted in life decides to adopt that life style. They adopt it because they've failed at the regular normalistic approach and this is their sour grapes way of dealing with it. You can call me ignorant or small minded for that point of view, but that would be just as bigoted as how you see me
Ding, ding. you win
AMCRambler
Diamond Member
- Jan 23, 2001
- 7,718
- 31
- 91
I have a friend who's a strawberry blond and every winter lets his beard grow but it looks like crap. I tell him so but he doesn't listen. Same kind of deal. He grows facial hair but it doesn't grow in thick enough to look very good. I gave up trying to convince how bad he looks. I think he just does it as an excuse not to shave. He's kind of lazy too. If it wasn't so much a "I want to look like Gandalf" thing, you might try convincing him to trim it into a goatee. Would probably look a lot better. However if he is really doing it to look like a Lord of the Rings character, you're pretty much gonna have to wait till Lord of the Rings isn't cool any more. I don't think you should force him to shave it. Of course you could bribe him! A couple extra bucks in the allowance in return for shaving maybe?
Well, to be honest, if as a parent it doesn't bother you and he's not at a school or job where having a beard will cause him to get in trouble, it's probably not worth busting out the big stick.
This was one of those situations where my mother would take the passive-aggressive approach and just casually remind me every 10 minutes how awful it looks and she can't believe my girlfriend would want me to look like that.
When it comes to the social implications, if he's one of those guys like me who doesn't care if other people will make fun of him for it, then it's nothing to worry about.
Most guys in high school try to grow beards once they realize they might be able to. Some can, most can't, but I think just about all of them try. Heaven knows I did
While I agree with Amused in principle, I don't agree in this particular case. I would let my child grow a beard if that's what they want to do and can do it without it looking like some half-grown hobo appearance.Originally posted by: badmouse
You're not a parent, are you
I didn't have a beard when I was fourteen, because I'm his mom. So I don't know whether it affects his whole teenage social life, or if it's unimportant. And I don't know what the "guy" thoughts are, okay? So, I'm asking.
To me, the real issue is your son wanting to look like Gandalf. I would have a long talk about why a fantasy world seems to be more appealing to him than the real world. Fantasy is okay, but when you start to arrange your real life into some depiction of a fantasy world, that's not healthy.
As for kids in general growing a beard at that age, I knew a couple of guys when I was that age that could grow a full beard and did. Nothing socially wrong with it; it's just the Gandalf thing that's going to cause problems. I grew a full beard while still in high school at age 16 and had a mustache since age 14.
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