How do I fix an abusive mother?

[AlienCraft]

Originally posted by: evolvedbullet
I am a 16/17 year old kid who is independent. When I say independent, I mean thinking wise and I can do anything that will please me. My mother threatens me that she will take away my computer and anything of value from me if I disobey her. I really can't wait to get out of this house; She is acting like a tyrant without a leech. I am a very wise kid and I only use reason to get me out of situations. I really don't like to be violent with my mother but she starts it. I talk back to her and she slaps me in the face.

She is saying that I am back talking her. I think back talking is the only way to question one's actions but she wants everything she says done. I have things that need to be done and she intrudes into my schedule; I get very upset and unorganized if someone screws with my daily schedule. I really don't know what to do guys; if you think I should wait her out, say a way how I can live with this or if there is a way to straighten her out, can you tell me please.

What started my mother's PMSing is my brothers apatite. He is as thin as a twig and he eats feasts worth of food. My mother is paralyzed (broken arm and leg; there getting better and she is walking around, waving orders left and right) and can't go to work so the food can get into short supply (my mother has enough money to buy a load of groceries every two weeks, 100 or 200 dollars worth of food; my brother calls a snack eating two packs of hot dogs and a gallon of V8 Fusion Light). When I am out of Reese's Peanut butter, I get very agitated when it comes down to food. I would eat something else but having a tongue that rejects alot of flavors can make eating difficult. He eats all the food and my only meal available is Snack Packs and Fruit and Grain bars. What should I do guys? Thank you for reading.

You are still a child, and when I say child, I mean an immature brat you disrespects the only person who actually wants the world to be better for you, in all the ways you describe.

The problem here is you're ungrateful as well as being that child previously mentioned.
This is real advice, get a job, and get a grip on yourself.
No matter what you've been told, no one else gives a sh1t, and the sooner you learn to appreciate what you do have given to you, and the real cost of providing for oneself, the better off you'll be.
And as for a tongue the "rejects a lot of flavors"....:laugh: grow up soon, there lad.
Just another reason you should be working and helping fill the shelves.

Good grief, If this is the sort of entitlement that awaits the future, you all are doomed.:disgust:

 

[Jeff7181]

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

I have alot of issues to sort out

Yep. Let's go through a few of them.

1. At 16 (you are either 16 or 17, not 16/17) you are old enough to know it's a bad idea to disobey your parents just because you don't want them telling you what to do. It's childish. If you want to demonstrate that you are "wise", obey your parents while you're underage and living under their roof unless you have a damn good reason not to.

2. You talk back at times you know it will piss your mom off and provoke her into assaulting you. Don't get me wrong here - she's completely wrong to be doing that. However, in this situation you have control of what you choose to do and say. Don't choose to mouth off.

3. You don't seem to understand that your schedule, at 16, is subordinate to the schedule of the household. If you need to adjust to chores, helping your mom, being home at certain times, adjust. If you get upset and disorganized when this happens, learn to adjust better. It'll happen a lot in the real work world once you get there.

4. You have zero understanding for your mother's situation. At your age, you're bright enough to know that a broken arm and a broken leg means that you should be pitching in to help out. If you're a single-parent household, which it sounds like you are, you're also old enough to know that your mom can probably use all the financial and household help she can get. Pitch in without being asked and stop bitching when things don't go your way or you get asked for help.

5. You're a picky eater and you're not self-sufficient. Your brother ate all the food you like? Go buy some more. Work things out with your brother so you share the groceries. Consider it practice for having a roommate someday.

6. You think playing video games is more important than getting a job. Your priorities are pretty screwed up if you think you can't live without video games.

You sound fairly similar to many other teenagers who are in the process of coming to terms with a few things. The world doesn't revolve around you. You don't know everything. The answer to nearly all of your problems in life will be to put more effort into working on them. You can survive even if you have to sacrifice things you want/like.

You want to fix your mother? Try this:
Go to her and apologize for being disrespectful, selfish and unhelpful. Find a job and offer to help her do chores and pay for household expenses. Inform her that you intend to cut back your computer time to an hour a day and use the free time to take some of the load off her shoulders. I bet that fixes her really quickly. She'll be a model mom.

Unrelated advice: study harder in school, especially English class.

Read this again, OP. This was some real advice. It wasn't a slam against you or your way of thinking... this is what you need to do in order to live a decent life. The world will not change to accomodate you. Reality check, it's YOU that needs to change, not everybody else.

 

[moonbit]

Originally posted by: Jeff7181

Originally posted by: AreaCode707

I have alot of issues to sort out

Yep. Let's go through a few of them.

1. At 16 (you are either 16 or 17, not 16/17) you are old enough to know it's a bad idea to disobey your parents just because you don't want them telling you what to do. It's childish. If you want to demonstrate that you are "wise", obey your parents while you're underage and living under their roof unless you have a damn good reason not to.

2. You talk back at times you know it will piss your mom off and provoke her into assaulting you. Don't get me wrong here - she's completely wrong to be doing that. However, in this situation you have control of what you choose to do and say. Don't choose to mouth off.

3. You don't seem to understand that your schedule, at 16, is subordinate to the schedule of the household. If you need to adjust to chores, helping your mom, being home at certain times, adjust. If you get upset and disorganized when this happens, learn to adjust better. It'll happen a lot in the real work world once you get there.

4. You have zero understanding for your mother's situation. At your age, you're bright enough to know that a broken arm and a broken leg means that you should be pitching in to help out. If you're a single-parent household, which it sounds like you are, you're also old enough to know that your mom can probably use all the financial and household help she can get. Pitch in without being asked and stop bitching when things don't go your way or you get asked for help.

5. You're a picky eater and you're not self-sufficient. Your brother ate all the food you like? Go buy some more. Work things out with your brother so you share the groceries. Consider it practice for having a roommate someday.

6. You think playing video games is more important than getting a job. Your priorities are pretty screwed up if you think you can't live without video games.

You sound fairly similar to many other teenagers who are in the process of coming to terms with a few things. The world doesn't revolve around you. You don't know everything. The answer to nearly all of your problems in life will be to put more effort into working on them. You can survive even if you have to sacrifice things you want/like.

You want to fix your mother? Try this:
Go to her and apologize for being disrespectful, selfish and unhelpful. Find a job and offer to help her do chores and pay for household expenses. Inform her that you intend to cut back your computer time to an hour a day and use the free time to take some of the load off her shoulders. I bet that fixes her really quickly. She'll be a model mom.

Unrelated advice: study harder in school, especially English class.

Read this again, OP. This was some real advice. It wasn't a slam against you or your way of thinking... this is what you need to do in order to live a decent life. The world will not change to accomodate you. Reality check, it's YOU that needs to change, not everybody else.

On top of that you are the only thing you can change. If you sit around waiting for others to change, or try to change them yourself, you're only going to frustrate yourself more. Plus, you may be pleasantly surprised how people change they way they react to you after you change.

And while you're going through all this change business, please leave the girls alone. You'll save yourself (and others) a lot of grief.

 

[Miramonti]

Originally posted by: evolvedbullet
I do not hit my mother. My mother hits me. I don't hit her back, I just be a little devil and deny every rule she implies against my will. I want to be left alone; I don't need her pissing and mourning.

Being wise is not the same thing as being a wise@ss.

 

[alien42]

WOW

pics of mom?

 

[SirStev0]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: evolvedbullet
She is acting like a tyrant without a leech.

I thought that this was the best sentence.

Fun post to read, I rated it 5 stars.

agreed

 

[SirStev0]

Originally posted by: alien42
WOW

pics of mom?

Do you need a new daddy??? Pics of mom!

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Your grammar and insolence tells me you're not as wise as you think you are. And believe me, I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm saying the truth. At 17 I thought I was wise, now that I'm 18 I see errors in my ways, and at 19 and so forth you will see the same. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Issues... Show your mother respect, no matter how much she grates you. Coming from living my whole life with a grandmother in her late 60s I know the meaning of completely disagreeable. But you still show her the respect she deserves. You have to realise that if you indeed want full independence, you will take the consequences of it. If she paid for it, she can take it away. She is well within her right to remove your computer, internet, games you didn't buy etc.

As for girls. Calm it man. 3 in one week? Doesn't anyone just have patience to wait until the right one comes? But I suppose sex is that main pull of relationships nowadays. Perhaps I'm simply out of touch with my own kind. But with all the stupid problems I see on this forum its good to be the odd one out.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

Originally posted by: AlienCraft

Originally posted by: evolvedbullet
I am a 16/17 year old kid who is independent. When I say independent, I mean thinking wise and I can do anything that will please me. My mother threatens me that she will take away my computer and anything of value from me if I disobey her. I really can't wait to get out of this house; She is acting like a tyrant without a leech. I am a very wise kid and I only use reason to get me out of situations. I really don't like to be violent with my mother but she starts it. I talk back to her and she slaps me in the face.

She is saying that I am back talking her. I think back talking is the only way to question one's actions but she wants everything she says done. I have things that need to be done and she intrudes into my schedule; I get very upset and unorganized if someone screws with my daily schedule. I really don't know what to do guys; if you think I should wait her out, say a way how I can live with this or if there is a way to straighten her out, can you tell me please.

What started my mother's PMSing is my brothers apatite. He is as thin as a twig and he eats feasts worth of food. My mother is paralyzed (broken arm and leg; there getting better and she is walking around, waving orders left and right) and can't go to work so the food can get into short supply (my mother has enough money to buy a load of groceries every two weeks, 100 or 200 dollars worth of food; my brother calls a snack eating two packs of hot dogs and a gallon of V8 Fusion Light). When I am out of Reese's Peanut butter, I get very agitated when it comes down to food. I would eat something else but having a tongue that rejects alot of flavors can make eating difficult. He eats all the food and my only meal available is Snack Packs and Fruit and Grain bars. What should I do guys? Thank you for reading.

You are still a child, and when I say child, I mean an immature brat you disrespects the only person who actually wants the world to be better for you, in all the ways you describe.

The problem here is you're ungrateful as well as being that child previously mentioned.
This is real advice, get a job, and get a grip on yourself.
No matter what you've been told, no one else gives a sh1t, and the sooner you learn to appreciate what you do have given to you, and the real cost of providing for oneself, the better off you'll be.
And as for a tongue the "rejects a lot of flavors"....:laugh: grow up soon, there lad.
Just another reason you should be working and helping fill the shelves.

Good grief, If this is the sort of entitlement that awaits the future, you all are doomed.:disgust:

I know what you mean.. People my age are idiots... people older than me have tendencies of being even more foolish.. I see nothing in mankind. They just get more immoral and more retarded in their thinking with each passing day. Guess I just continue on..

 

[kinev]

Guys, don't feed the troll.


...and get your shens-meter fixed.

 

[sourceninja]

Life is not about fun, suck it up and be a man/woman. Go get a job, do good in school and make something of yourself. Life is not video games, it's about being forced to do things you do not want to do. In the real world life is going to be a lot worse then listen to your mom and trying to play videogames. IF you want to have any fun you are going to have to work a lot harder then you think. So start now, suck it up.

Man kids these days, if I ever have children I'm putting them in boxing as soon as they can stand. I'm sick of all these wussy kids.

 

[lyssword]

If this is for real: no, there isn't much you can do about abusive mother except moving out. My best suggestion is forget about your current situation and start planning NOW for what you will do after you are 18+ and can get a job. Maybe go to community college, try to find more info on that. The wisest thing to do right now is continue studying and maybe you'll get a decent job opportunities later. If not, just move out in a year, suck it up and get any available job.
Obviously reasoning will not work with your mother. Don't try to fix her (you can't), try to improve yourself instead and just try to pass by untill you move out. When you do move out it will be much better.

Also: you got any friends? Perhaps you can move out with him/them and share cost of apartment so it'll be easier on your budget.

 

[lyssword]

Originally posted by: sourceninja
Life is not about fun, suck it up and be a man/woman. Go get a job, do good in school and make something of yourself. Life is not video games, it's about being forced to do things you do not want to do. In the real world life is going to be a lot worse then listen to your mom and trying to play videogames. IF you want to have any fun you are going to have to work a lot harder then you think. So start now, suck it up.

Man kids these days, if I ever have children I'm putting them in boxing as soon as they can stand. I'm sick of all these wussy kids.

I'm sorry, but you sound kind of arrogant. I doubt you were raised by a single mother and/or in poverty like this kid. Did I mention abusive?

 

[FM2n]

I call shens!

Let's talk about bananas. Have you guys ever had beef wrapped in banana leaves? Oh so yummy!

 

[kinev]

Originally posted by: FM2n
I call shens!

Let's talk about bananas. Have you guys ever had beef wrapped in banana leaves? Oh so yummy!

Sounds good. Do you grill it? Do banana leaves have banana flavor? 'Cause I don't see banana steak tasting too good.

When I was a kid I remember having to take some medication (antibiotic, I think) that came in little bottles that you added water to and drank. Of course, I couldn't swallow pills at the time, so I had to drink them. Anyway, the banana flavor was NASTY. Ever since then, tasting artificial banana flavor reminds me of those disgusting medicine bottles.

Strawberry was pretty good, though.

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

Originally posted by: sourceninja
Life is not about fun, suck it up and be a man/woman. Go get a job, do good in school and make something of yourself. Life is not video games, it's about being forced to do things you do not want to do. In the real world life is going to be a lot worse then listen to your mom and trying to play videogames. IF you want to have any fun you are going to have to work a lot harder then you think. So start now, suck it up.

Man kids these days, if I ever have children I'm putting them in boxing as soon as they can stand. I'm sick of all these wussy kids.

What the hell... Life is not about fun? Then why are you still here? Maybe you just enjoy living an unfulfilling life, I and many dont

I always find it funny (NOT) how people refer to everything as "the REAL world", you mean, the same world that the same stupid people over generations created as a standard? It always saddens me how most adults completely lack joy in their lives, and it seem like they are living a sacrifice instead

Its also annoying that adults tend to think they are all-knowing, and yet they should learn as much from children as children learn from them... If people kept a strong side of their childhood with them they would be alot happier

People and their problems... The world is what you make it to be... The REAL world sucks because no one does anything to change it, instead they just get used to it and take it in the ass through all of their lives, but then again, humans are idiots, so thats no surprise

 

[biggestmuff]

where's dad?

Do you have a job? If not, get one, man up and help the family out.

Try being there for your mother in her time of need.

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Okay, assuming you are serious, do you have a job? If not, get one and move out on your own STAT.

\thread

This solution has my vote.

 

[ed21x]

i just want to be part of this thread =D

 

[Skacer]

Little late but I'm claiming my plot of text right here.

 

[Number1]

This thread is awsome. I am ROFL at some of the OP's comments.

GOOD thread

Obviously shen.

 

[Roguestar]

life is sooooo hard

 

[LtPage1]

Originally posted by: evolvedbulletI do not know what to do with my life, I am lost, and my social life is disintegrating with every second I lose.

You're a teenager. I swear to you, eventually you'll come to your senses and stop being an idiot, but you have to suffer through just a bit more of yourself. We all went through it, and now it's your turn.

Step one: Suck it up.
Step two: Stop looking for life counseling on a message board.
Step three: Get good grades, earn a full ride scholarship somewhere far, far away, and never come back.

 

[Roguestar]

OP you should listen to Linkin Park, I think they would understand you. Or possibly My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay. The root cause of the problem is your mother not buying you a car/pony/bouncy castle/new video game/dress/barbie/action man and as such she is physically abusing you. You should call child services, the police, and possibly an ambulance; her next step may be to physically assault you - WITH A GLARE!

 

[pontifex]

lol...op is hilarious