How do couples deal with significantly different incomes?

[Leros]

This is probably a stupid question, but I'm gonna ask anyway.

I was thinking about couples with significantly different incomes. Say person A makes $125k and person B makes $40k. Clearly person A makes a lot more money than person B. This couple could afford a nice large house but person B won't be able to contribute anywhere near their fair share. Would it be demeaning to person B if they got a nice house way outside of what person B can equally pay for?

 

[eldorado99]

It doesn't matter as long as both people are ok with the variance in income.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

Person with lower income will usually feel envious.

Person with higher income generally will feel more entitled to spend the money on whatever the hell they want as they earned it and can afford it.


Best way to make things equitable is by each contributing the same percentage of their income to the common bills.

 

[mooglemania85]

Originally posted by: Leros
This is probably a stupid question, but I'm gonna ask anyway.

I was thinking about couples with significantly different incomes. Say person A makes $125k and person B makes $40k. Clearly person A makes a lot more money than person B. This couple could afford a nice large house but person B won't be able to contribute anywhere near their fair share. Would it be demeaning to person B if they got a nice house way outside of what person B can equally pay for?

There is no "fair share" dollar-wise, if you're in a loving, serious relationship (marriage). If one of the parties is that concerned about things falling apart at a later time, get a pre-nup (*cough* Michael Strahan *doh). As to how that marriage functions, i.e. what each person brings to the relationship aside from $$, that's really up to the couple to decide.

 

[compnovice]

Originally posted by: eldorado99
It doesn't matter as long as both people are ok with the variance in income.

 

[cKGunslinger]

It's OK, OP - lots of people will die single.


:evil:

 

[Journer]

my bro makes like 50k...his wife makes like 60k or something...not a huge diff...but he loves it... spending it that is, mwuahahaha

 

[krunchykrome]

My gf makes about $20K more than I do. However, she also entered the workforce two years before I did. It doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes I pay for things, sometimes she pays for things. Lately, she pays for more things though, because she knows I've been saving up for a ring.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: Leros
This is probably a stupid question, but I'm gonna ask anyway.

I was thinking about couples with significantly different incomes. Say person A makes $125k and person B makes $40k. Clearly person A makes a lot more money than person B. This couple could afford a nice large house but person B won't be able to contribute anywhere near their fair share. Would it be demeaning to person B if they got a nice house way outside of what person B can equally pay for?

Some here will disagree... But if your marriage isn't about shared resources (re: the two of you function as a single financial entity) then it probably wont work out.

 

[Leros]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy

Originally posted by: Leros
This is probably a stupid question, but I'm gonna ask anyway.

I was thinking about couples with significantly different incomes. Say person A makes $125k and person B makes $40k. Clearly person A makes a lot more money than person B. This couple could afford a nice large house but person B won't be able to contribute anywhere near their fair share. Would it be demeaning to person B if they got a nice house way outside of what person B can equally pay for?

Some here will disagree... But if your marriage isn't about shared resources (re: the two of you function as a single financial entity) then it probably wont work out.

I agree with that. But nonetheless, I can see some people feeling inferior if they are contributing only 25% of that shared resources. And that inferiority could lead to other problems later on.

BUT, I'm young. I've never lived with a girlfriend or anything.

 

[novasatori]

There are more important things to worry about in life than nitpicking financials with your SO.

 

[Lyfer]

Originally posted by: novasatori
There are more important things to worry about in life than nitpicking financials with your SO.

 

[Agentbolt]

Isn't this the norm? Don't most men still make significantly more than their women? If it's the guy making less there's some social stigma, but I doubt they'd feel too badly about it in a vacuum.

There's two ways it shakes out. Either she/he makes you happy enough that you don't mind financially supporting him/her, or you only date someone with the ambition/skills to make roughly as much money as you.

 

[NoShangriLa]

It takes more than one person to make a family and the combine income or household income is what finance the lifestyle of the family.

It is perfectly normal for a household to have one bread winner and the other partner is the backbone support for the family.

 

[0roo0roo]

if the woman makes more? quiet bitterness->emasculation->woman quietly resents unmanly husband->divorce

 

[axelfox]

Community Property! (depends on the state)

 

[MichaelD]

I make roughly 2.5x what my wife makes. I pay all the bills/rent/food. On her income, she could barely support herself. She was living with her family before we got married.

She's not really jealous of my income; I work my ass off and worked TWO jobs for many years (before we even met) just to make ends meet. I definitely earn my pay.

What she makes is hers. That's her money. Typically, she puts the gas in the car (we only have one vehicle, but we work on the same campus, so it works out) and buys her own clothes.

I'm fine with this arrangement. I knew it would be like this going into the marriage. For smaller purchases, I don't confer w/her first. Smaller as in roughly under $150. For anything bigger, I usually do, only b/c I don't want to hear about it later b/c most probably, it's not something I NEEDED. But that "want" can be a persistent little ah heck.

Besides; she's better with money than I am. She keeps me from blowing $1K on that 8800GTX SLI setup that I don't really need but want real bad. :evil:

So far, it seems to work for us. No fights about money at all. There's also no kid in the picture yet, so there is some disposable income left. Not for long, though.

 

[Squisher]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
if the woman makes more? quiet bitterness->emasculation->woman quietly resents unmanly husband->divorce

My wife makes 3x what I make. I wonder when the divorce is going to happen?

 

[Allanv]

i make 4x what my wife does but all our income goes into 1 bank account and all bills are paid from there...

none of this i make more nonsence

 

[SearchMaster]

I make at least 10x what my wife does (her job is very part-time). I don't get this "mine/hers" mentality - what I make is ours. She gets a little bummed about not contributing more sometimes, but the kids will all be in school in a couple of years and she'll go back to work mostly full-time.

I've always felt that the couples that treat marriage so much like a business/roommate proposition are doomed to failure, but I guess it works for some. Most of the couples I've seen that do it are divorced now though.

 

[Megatomic]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
if the woman makes more? quiet bitterness->emasculation->woman quietly resents unmanly husband->divorce

Say what??? It would be a dream come true if my wife were to make more money than I do. The sense of financial freedom would be powerful....

Hmm, how do I get her to go back to college?

I agree with the posters above, worrying about who makes more is petty and childish. If you love your spouse you won't care who makes more.

 

[iamwiz82]

Why would it matter? I would love to be a house-husband.

 

[Megatomic]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Why would it matter? I would love to be a house-husband.

hahaha, I've joked with my wife about this. I told her if she ever makes what I do or more, I'd stay at home and iron her bras and panties and cook her meals.

But what I'd really do though is go back to school myself.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy

Originally posted by: Leros
This is probably a stupid question, but I'm gonna ask anyway.

I was thinking about couples with significantly different incomes. Say person A makes $125k and person B makes $40k. Clearly person A makes a lot more money than person B. This couple could afford a nice large house but person B won't be able to contribute anywhere near their fair share. Would it be demeaning to person B if they got a nice house way outside of what person B can equally pay for?

Some here will disagree... But if your marriage isn't about shared resources (re: the two of you function as a single financial entity) then it probably wont work out.

Sums up my thoughts.

 

[Linflas]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy

Originally posted by: Leros
This is probably a stupid question, but I'm gonna ask anyway.

I was thinking about couples with significantly different incomes. Say person A makes $125k and person B makes $40k. Clearly person A makes a lot more money than person B. This couple could afford a nice large house but person B won't be able to contribute anywhere near their fair share. Would it be demeaning to person B if they got a nice house way outside of what person B can equally pay for?

Some here will disagree... But if your marriage isn't about shared resources (re: the two of you function as a single financial entity) then it probably wont work out.

Been married 22 years and that is how it has always worked for us. It isn't her money and my money, it is our money.