Well if I ever happen to find myself with a girlfriend or a wife out here, I am pretty much guaranteed to make between 10x and 50x their income depending upon their nationality, either local or foreign national. Most of the americans out here are navy personnel and I have not met but a few that impress me as people, and none of those where female.
I know a few of you feel deeply that the income and such should be a shared resource, but having seen how things have worked out for several people here - that only works if your significant other is of the same mind and from the same culture. A lot of the people here want to marry americans because they are perceived as well off and they will be taken care of. There are a few gold diggers, but most just lean towards it because financial security is something that they have been missing their whole lives. Its sad that they have advanced degrees like civil engineering or business management and the only job they can find is to work in starbucks or as a waitress in Bahrain - for $250 a month too....
I know a few of you feel deeply that the income and such should be a shared resource, but having seen how things have worked out for several people here - that only works if your significant other is of the same mind and from the same culture. A lot of the people here want to marry americans because they are perceived as well off and they will be taken care of. There are a few gold diggers, but most just lean towards it because financial security is something that they have been missing their whole lives. Its sad that they have advanced degrees like civil engineering or business management and the only job they can find is to work in starbucks or as a waitress in Bahrain - for $250 a month too....
kranky
Elite Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 21,019
- 156
- 106
I feel bad for anyone who would feel "inferior" in a marriage because of a lower income level. I have no doubt that there are married couples out there who do that, and I would suggest they don't have a marriage, they have a merger.
I earn 8 times more than my wife since she doesn't work. But it's all "our" money. We jointly decide on large purchases and she has her own spending money just as I do. She does not feel as though she's any less of a person because she doesn't earn an income.
I earn 8 times more than my wife since she doesn't work. But it's all "our" money. We jointly decide on large purchases and she has her own spending money just as I do. She does not feel as though she's any less of a person because she doesn't earn an income.
I repeat myself, but again I disagree. I don't really understand why so many people consider shared financials to be important for a relationship. If anything sharing accounts could lead to more arguing.
In our case I perfectly understand why my girlfriend never wanted to share. When the difference is very very big it would very much look like I am paying for her, and she is uncomfortable with this perception. I very much respect this.
Very simply, we never discussed money and never will. And it works perfectly for us.
Everything gets dumped into the joint account my wife and I both take an equal allowance out of it a month to pya for personal clothing, gifts, hobbies, whims.
The joint pays for all the house stuff, the cars, the kids hobbies, and clothes and toys, family vacations etc
I make 2X her wage
The joint pays for all the house stuff, the cars, the kids hobbies, and clothes and toys, family vacations etc
I make 2X her wage
Currently I make all of the money in my marriage which is working acceptably for us although our current situation is the social norm so it doesn't bother either of us. In about two years we'll be making the same amount of money and about four years after that she'll be making around five times my income. I'm looking forward to that day but I also think it will be a little weird. She wants to me to be the house-husband but I'm just not prepared for that yet. 
Well said.
I am getting married soon and we are working out how to share finances. She is a teacher I am an aerospace engineer so I make more than her. But we share the money and the bills. it isn't about who makes more.
Basically like the guy i quoted said, if your marriage is about money and everyone paying their fair share, you may be in for a rocky road.
DrPizza
Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
I don't even know what color our checks are. Quite happily married going on 18 years now. (30th of this month.)
I make 300% what my wife works... she's fine with it most of the time, sometimes she acts frustrated. I have to remind her that, though we are the same age, I have been working for many more years and have worked my share of crappy jobs.
I make about 50x as much as my wife, but it doesn't matter - she still manages to spend all the money...... J/K - No big deal here, she takes care of the kids and is a great wife!
J/K - No big deal here, she takes care of the kids and is a great wife!I either dont understand the question or the question is to silly for me to make any sense of it. It does not matter how much each make as long they both agree on which house to buy. My wife makes 10k more than I do. I know, not that big of a difference. But that extra 10k never gets brought up in any desicion making. Our combine income is the family income and we treat it as such.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,550
- 940
- 126
Why does it matter?
My wife made more than me last year by about a third but it changes nothing. This year has been slow for her so I'm sure I'll bring in more than her.
My wife made more than me last year by about a third but it changes nothing. This year has been slow for her so I'm sure I'll bring in more than her.
The combined income and "team" atmosphere is a good idea. If you have to start comparing who makes more, get ready for a divorce.
What you don't want to do is what an asshat I know very well (hint) does: make double what the spouse makes, then keep MORE than 50% of his income for himself while giving the spouse and family (more than 1 child) the rest. An even worse thing you can do is do the above for ~25 years and live/act like a bum.
What you don't want to do is what an asshat I know very well (hint) does: make double what the spouse makes, then keep MORE than 50% of his income for himself while giving the spouse and family (more than 1 child) the rest. An even worse thing you can do is do the above for ~25 years and live/act like a bum.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,550
- 940
- 126
m1ldslide1
Platinum Member
- Feb 20, 2006
- 2,321
- 0
- 0
AgaBoogaBoo
Lifer
- Feb 16, 2003
- 26,108
- 5
- 81
Hah, I don't know if it should matter in a true relationship - it's the family's money or in this case, the couple's money. It doesn't belong to one person because both worked and contributed to it.
Money causes too many problems, it's too bad it's such an important thing.
Money causes too many problems, it's too bad it's such an important thing.
Kanalua
Diamond Member
- Jun 14, 2001
- 4,860
- 2
- 81
No kidding...if you are a committed couple, it shouldn't matter (unless maybe it's the wife making the bucks and the husbadn can't handle it).
RIght now I make nothing and my wife has a full-time job (I'm a law student). Next year I'll be making significantly more than she does.
It kinda bothers me as a man that my wife makes pretty much supports me financially, but I know my wife is looking forward to the huge bump in the family payrate when I grad.
I suppose if it were a business arrangement there could be problems, but what the f%$# would that have to do with a marriage???
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