Fritzo
Lifer
- Jan 3, 2001
- 41,885
- 2,125
- 126
If by couples you mean married couples, you have no concept of marriage. People that get married and still have the "my money your money" mentality are going to fail miserably. The money goes to the household and belongs to both of you. That "fair share" comment could really start some arguments.
If a lot of people think like this, I can see why the divorce rate is so high.
If a lot of people think like this, I can see why the divorce rate is so high.
once you are married, everything you or your SO makes belongs to the family. not a very hard concept, i dont understand why people become so possessive about money, even when dealing with their supposed loved ones. 
dullard
Elite Member
- May 21, 2001
- 25,065
- 3,413
- 126
Both people work 8 hours a day. Thus both are putting in their fair share. How much income each makes is meaningless. It is time you work that matters, not the salary. If one person works fewer hours outside of the home, then that person should put in more hours working on the home (chores, maintenance, etc).
Pool the resources all together into one pot. Then pay all the bills from that pot. Divide up some personal spending money to each person once a month (or once a payday if you wish). Then each person can spend that personal money on whatever the hell he/she wants and the other person cannot complain. If she saves her personal spending money up for a year to blow it on a $1k purse, then fine. If you blow your $1k with $3 a day coffees, then fine.
Some couples like to split that personal money 50/50, some like to split that personal money up depending on the income. I find the latter a silly method, but if you both want it, then do it and be happy.
It is when one person works far longer each day than the other, that you have a problem. That is true if that work is outside the home or inside.
Pool the resources all together into one pot. Then pay all the bills from that pot. Divide up some personal spending money to each person once a month (or once a payday if you wish). Then each person can spend that personal money on whatever the hell he/she wants and the other person cannot complain. If she saves her personal spending money up for a year to blow it on a $1k purse, then fine. If you blow your $1k with $3 a day coffees, then fine.
Some couples like to split that personal money 50/50, some like to split that personal money up depending on the income. I find the latter a silly method, but if you both want it, then do it and be happy.
It is when one person works far longer each day than the other, that you have a problem. That is true if that work is outside the home or inside.
Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner
As soon as it devolves to "MY" money rather than "OUR" money, you may as well pack it up.
Well AT isn't exactly a good judge of society in total, but I think this mentality is fairly prevalent and probably does contribute to the high divorce rate.
mugs
Lifer
- Apr 29, 2003
- 48,924
- 45
- 91
When you get married, all of your money is SHARED, it is not "his" money and "her" money (or in some cases "his" money and "his" money or "her" money and "her" money. Or even in some cases "his" money and "their" money. Actually I think in that case it probably is "his" money.)
I make about 5x as much as my wife does, she works full time at a well paying job. I spend more or less what I would like to spend and she does the same. We talk about our expenditures to ensure they do not exceed our budget. If I want something larger one month then I get it but nothing else, she'll cut back a little bit and the next month it'll be normal, or vice versa.
It's *our* money. It goes into one checking account, she pays all of the bills coming out of it.
It's *our* money. It goes into one checking account, she pays all of the bills coming out of it.
Fritzo
Lifer
- Jan 3, 2001
- 41,885
- 2,125
- 126
Originally posted by: Megatomic
Say what??? It would be a dream come true if my wife were to make more money than I do. The sense of financial freedom would be powerful....
Hmm, how do I get her to go back to college?
I agree with the posters above, worrying about who makes more is petty and childish. If you love your spouse you won't care who makes more.
My wife makes twice what I do...doesn't bother me a bit. I'm doing what I'm good at, she's doing what she's good at, and we both profit nicely.
i think my dad makes 15x more than my mother after tax income, and my mom spends most of it they don't seem to have a problem with it. My mom's job comes with some insane benefits though. I haven't paid a dime for a medical bill in years (still under my parents insurance since I am in college.)
they don't seem to have a problem with it. My mom's job comes with some insane benefits though. I haven't paid a dime for a medical bill in years (still under my parents insurance since I am in college.)Originally posted by: Fritzo
Originally posted by: Megatomic
Say what??? It would be a dream come true if my wife were to make more money than I do. The sense of financial freedom would be powerful....
Hmm, how do I get her to go back to college?
I agree with the posters above, worrying about who makes more is petty and childish. If you love your spouse you won't care who makes more.
My wife makes twice what I do...doesn't bother me a bit. I'm doing what I'm good at, she's doing what she's good at, and we both profit nicely.
I wouldn't have a problem with it either
my dad makes significantly more than my mother, and i mean super significantly to the extent that really he is the sole bread winner. at the end of the day it is his money, but he treats it as their money.
he works 12 hours stints on an oil rig in the gulf for 6 months of the year (and is handsomely paid for it too) but my mother works just as hard keeping the house in check, food shopping, looking after her mother, etc etc
one makes the money for the family
the others keep the family functioning because you need more than just money to do that.
he works 12 hours stints on an oil rig in the gulf for 6 months of the year (and is handsomely paid for it too) but my mother works just as hard keeping the house in check, food shopping, looking after her mother, etc etc
one makes the money for the family
the others keep the family functioning because you need more than just money to do that.
Papagayo
Platinum Member
- Jul 28, 2003
- 2,302
- 22
- 81
Wow, the income situation is exactly same for us..
My wife makes around $125k, while I make around $45k.
We have a joint account for everything.
Her job is more demanding, so I take care of our kid. I stayed with my current job, because of the flexibility. I can leave anytime I want, as long as I fill my 40 hours.
It seems to work great for us. We have an agreement that, anything over $100, we have to agree on it. Heck, she buying me a $10k bike for our anniversary.
Here's the deal..
When we were first dating, we shared our ideas of what kind of future we wanted. My wife wanted to work, she likes the idea of working and not staying home. I wanted to stay home and take care of my wife and kids. Our plan is working so far. Our future plan is, next year, we will have another kid and I will stay home and maybe find a part-time job.
Gunslinger08
Lifer
- Nov 18, 2001
- 13,234
- 2
- 81
I make more in my 2nd year of working than my girlfriend will ever make in her career. That's fine with me though.. even her mid-level income will help pay for a nicer house and furnishings than I could afford alone. Luckily my girlfriend is incredibly cheap, so that should offset my ridiculous spending habits.
A guy that I work with recently got married and they do the whole "my money" and "your money" thing. They both pay half of the bills from their own income. They both have their own checking accounts. They've been doing that for probably 2 years and it doesn't seem to have caused issues yet.
A guy that I work with recently got married and they do the whole "my money" and "your money" thing. They both pay half of the bills from their own income. They both have their own checking accounts. They've been doing that for probably 2 years and it doesn't seem to have caused issues yet.
Gunslinger08
Lifer
- Nov 18, 2001
- 13,234
- 2
- 81
If a teacher were to make an average of 35k per year for the next 35 years, assuming retirement at 57, then that would mean you made 1.225M last year?
Gunslinger08
Lifer
- Nov 18, 2001
- 13,234
- 2
- 81
Gunslinger08
Lifer
- Nov 18, 2001
- 13,234
- 2
- 81
Originally posted by: LegendKiller
I wasn't calling you a liar or anything, if it was true I was going to ask you for a loan
If I was making over a million bucks a year, I'd gladly loan you $20.
Originally posted by: Pabster
Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner
As soon as it devolves to "MY" money rather than "OUR" money, you may as well pack it up.
I disagree. There is an extremely big difference in the financial figures between me and my girlfriend, and she never let me share money with her. She also made clear that in case we married she would want complete financial separation.
She told me from the beginning that the only way she would have been comfortable was this, and it has never caused me any problem.
Me and my girlfriend (soon to be fiance and wife upcoming year) have the same income, we have different contributions.
We eat the same food, sleep in the same bed, and share the same bills. If something sinks, we're both sinking.
Like others have said here, there's no difference in what we make other than the net income shared by the both of us.
Still holding the "this is mine and that is yours" mentality is one of first steps toward becoming another statistic in America.
We eat the same food, sleep in the same bed, and share the same bills. If something sinks, we're both sinking.
Like others have said here, there's no difference in what we make other than the net income shared by the both of us.
Still holding the "this is mine and that is yours" mentality is one of first steps toward becoming another statistic in America.
There's no such thing as being inferior. Doesn't make that person any less of a person. The only thing inferior is the way you judge a person based on how much income they make in their life. Obviously, if you're in a serious relationship, you should have joint accounts. Having separate accounts is an indication that the relationship will not work or last.
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