Spidey--
My Mom died unexpectedly this past Christmas Day. I know how devastating that feels.............to add all the other stuff you are dealing with is almost unbelievable. You certainly have great strength.
Good luck to you.
Yeah, the holidays were REALLY rough. My sympathy is with you. Try to make next christmas good and remember her.
Cheers
Vic
Elite Member
- Jun 12, 2001
- 50,422
- 14,337
- 136
Hearing the whole story now, John, I think that (hard as all this may have been for you) it will all end up for the best.
It looks like she was gonna run someday. Better she do it sooner rather than later.
Einstein said that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
She clearly appears to fit that definition.
Good luck to you and God bless!
It looks like she was gonna run someday. Better she do it sooner rather than later.
Einstein said that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
She clearly appears to fit that definition.
Good luck to you and God bless!
I disagree. I'd let my wife, if I had another, do anything she wanted. Cruise? Fine with me... Now if she cheated and decided she wanted a divorce, that'd be fine too. Except I'd get a lawyer ASAP and try to protect as much of the assets that we had as a couple. I'd go to court just to keep her from taking half and leaving.
Sorry to hear about your problems, spidey. Good to hear that you're doing well recovering. Keep it up!
Be glad you're free of that B1tch!
Be glad you're free of that B1tch!
man that sucks.
what a wench.
oh and you know she'll come crawling back, resist it and kick her out on the streets all alone.
2 divorces, that should tell her something about the man right there.
what a wench.
oh and you know she'll come crawling back, resist it and kick her out on the streets all alone.
2 divorces, that should tell her something about the man right there.
She ain't coming back. I mean she married the dude. And on top of that he's 40 she's 32. Which means when their kids go to school he'll be in his 60s.
crazy woman. Unfortunately I still love her because we really did have it all. But she went on and on to him in e-mails about what was going on in our lives and he told her exactly what she wanted to hear.
So sorry to hear about your divorce and your mom.
I don't really see a proper sympathy emoticon - but the multipurpose one will have to be close enough :beer:.
I don't really see a proper sympathy emoticon - but the multipurpose one will have to be close enough :beer:.
SaigonK
Diamond Member
Originally posted by: spidey07
This sucks. To start off my mom has been terminally ill for about a year. I loved my mate so much that when she said some girlfriends wanted her to go on a cruise with them I said "sure, I love you...have fun!" That was in late august. Two weeks after the cruise she says she's leaving and has all our finances and assets divied up. After 5 years I never spied on her and trusted her to no end. I read some of her e-mails (I just had to know what was going on) and apparantly she met somebody on the cruise and has been talking to him constantly. He fed her the typical "you deserve better", "I think you know there is something more out there for you", "you won't be alone because I'm here for you" crap. And she bit it hook line and sinker. We've been under a lot of stress with my Mom and our careers but jeez. So she quits her 90K/yr job, moves 200 miles away (from her family, friends and me) and marries this slimball who's already been divorced twice. Go figure. Oh and mom passed away shortly after she left. I was her only child and we were extremely close as she only lived 10 minutes away. God bless you mom, may you rest in piece now. Hehe, when I told mom what was going on (and she is a sweet, sweet lady) her exact words were "Here's that b!tch's money now get her out of your life" -cliff notes- 1) she goes on cruise which I of course have no problems with 2) Meets some guy on cruise and tells me she's leaving two weeks later 3) Is out of the house one week after that 4) Everything is final 8 weeks after cruise - she requested that I get her money from my dying mother...real classy woman there. 5) She and this loser get married 10 weeks after cruise, scary part is I'm sure she'll be pregnant soon. 6) Mom passed away 11 weeks after cruise to which the ex's only response was "oh" I never did tell that story
Sorry to hear this Spidey. It sucks, as far as I know my wife doesnt have anyone else, and if she does now...oh well...it still makes me mad thinking about it, i get jealous but who cares it wont make a difference in my life. Stick in there, revenge is seeing her with those three kids and a baseless marriage.
SaigonK
Diamond Member
Originally posted by: spidey07
This sucks. To start off my mom has been terminally ill for about a year. I loved my mate so much that when she said some girlfriends wanted her to go on a cruise with them I said "sure, I love you...have fun!" That was in late august. Two weeks after the cruise she says she's leaving and has all our finances and assets divied up. After 5 years I never spied on her and trusted her to no end. I read some of her e-mails (I just had to know what was going on) and apparantly she met somebody on the cruise and has been talking to him constantly. He fed her the typical "you deserve better", "I think you know there is something more out there for you", "you won't be alone because I'm here for you" crap. And she bit it hook line and sinker. We've been under a lot of stress with my Mom and our careers but jeez. So she quits her 90K/yr job, moves 200 miles away (from her family, friends and me) and marries this slimball who's already been divorced twice. Go figure. Oh and mom passed away shortly after she left. I was her only child and we were extremely close as she only lived 10 minutes away. God bless you mom, may you rest in piece now. Hehe, when I told mom what was going on (and she is a sweet, sweet lady) her exact words were "Here's that b!tch's money now get her out of your life" -cliff notes- 1) she goes on cruise which I of course have no problems with 2) Meets some guy on cruise and tells me she's leaving two weeks later 3) Is out of the house one week after that 4) Everything is final 8 weeks after cruise - she requested that I get her money from my dying mother...real classy woman there. 5) She and this loser get married 10 weeks after cruise, scary part is I'm sure she'll be pregnant soon. 6) Mom passed away 11 weeks after cruise to which the ex's only response was "oh" I never did tell that story
Sorry to hear this Spidey. It sucks, as far as I know my wife doesnt have anyone else, and if she does now...oh well...it still makes me mad thinking about it, i get jealous but who cares it wont make a difference in my life. Stick in there, revenge is seeing her with those three kids and a baseless marriage.
Missed this thread with so many of them floating around. None of them any less important though.
You have my condolences for your mom. Having all this happen at once must have been unbearable. But its good to see that things went somewhat smoothly and you've seen her for what she is and detached relatively quickly. It would have killed me to have gotten a check from her with her new husband's name on it but it seems like you took it in stride (at least on ATOT).
I find it amazing how quickly things turned around on you and her though. Did you suspect nothing? Is she just a very capricious person? I think you mentioned she did this before with her ex-husband? What happened there?
Anyhow, good luck with everything.
You have my condolences for your mom. Having all this happen at once must have been unbearable. But its good to see that things went somewhat smoothly and you've seen her for what she is and detached relatively quickly. It would have killed me to have gotten a check from her with her new husband's name on it but it seems like you took it in stride (at least on ATOT).
I find it amazing how quickly things turned around on you and her though. Did you suspect nothing? Is she just a very capricious person? I think you mentioned she did this before with her ex-husband? What happened there?
Anyhow, good luck with everything.
Been doing some reading. There are women who jump from relationship to relationship, marriage to marriage always riding on the "in love" high and never really knowing what a true loving relationship is or means. It called repetative behavior and they'll continue it forever until they "fix" themselves and find out who they really are. Her jumping right into another without any healing or soul-searching is about the worst thing you can do - I do still love her and really feel sorry for her.
I balled like a frickin' baby last night watching survivor and seeing the confused, scared and lonely look on the girl's face who's mom was battling cancer and going downhill.
I know that look and have been there, I saw it on her face - the empty, stressed, confused, scared, hurt, angry, reaching look. It is not a fun place.
Heed these words of wisdom - if you have to deal with terminal illness of someone close go see counseling (and take along SO) and understand the process. I've been grieving for over a year now (found out that you actually grieve the loss of the one who is ill even though they are still alive and doing OK) and didn't even realize it. I lost about 30 pounds (down to 180) since I found out about my mom's illness and just thought "wow, i'm losing weight this is a good thing"
NO - it was not a good thing. It was a physical indication of severe stress and my body was telling me something. I just didn't know it and it cost me a whole lot.
ThePresence
Elite Member
- Nov 19, 2001
- 27,727
- 16
- 81
Alot of people in your position would have fallen into serious depression. You sound like you took really well.
I'm still trying to get out of it but am doing better. Its a WHOLE other class of depression called "major depression"
Reading self-help, counseling, redefining myself, soul searching and being open with others have transformed me.
I am totally able to give love now because that is the way my mom would have wanted me to go on. Thanks for listening. I really believe I will come out of this a stronger person. 'Just hope I can trust a woman again - I mean think about it. I had absolutely now reservations or jealousy at all about her going on the cruise...in fact I encouraged it "honey have a good time, a vacation with your girls will be fun"
And this is the f'in thanks I get.
My ex-fiancee was exactly like the type of person you described. Fortunately, you got it over with early and before you had kids.
My advice is to do stuff you normally wouldn't do. Not something like bungee jumping but something more regular. I was taking a Brazilian Ju Jitsu class for a while and you would think it would be filled with UFC type guys but surprisingly there were a lot of cute girls there. Read more. And definitely hang out more since you now have your freedom whether you want it or not.
Hang in there.
I'm hangin alright. Just scared that I'm almost 33 now and want my wife/children. It takes so long for me to truly build a good foundation with a woman...1 year or more.
Probably going to take up yoga.
Probably going to take up yoga.
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Christ...another one?!?!
What's up with the divorce/cheating spouse/dying parent threads lately?
Unfortunately relationships in the US have been spiraling downward to the shitter for a loooong Time now
Divorced X 2
Got Dumped for another dude in those relationships X 2
The odds of me getting F'ed over like that again ZERO
Sysadmin
that was the shittiest comments ever.
Sorry dude sorry to hear that. I knwo wht feels like to have everything cumble in front of you. I have never had it that bad. But live can only get so worse.
Keep your chin up and it'll all turn out for the better.
Phil
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