Holy crap I'm divorced!

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blackdogdeek

Lifer
Mar 14, 2003
14,453
10
81
Originally posted by: rh71
I'm just curious if you gave her the attention you gave your mom, or at least close to it. I'm not trying to make excuses for her nor am I making accusations at you... but maybe she felt like she really did deserve a more devoted husband as well. I have a hard time believing a 5-year marriage can die simply from meeting a guy while away. Maybe she had been considering getting out since before then.

Either way, the situation as it stands does suck and you sound remarkably upbeat about it. The best thing is to forget her and move on with someone else. Plain and simple.

And some guys out there (this cruise guy) deserve to get the beating of their life.
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i think one of the posts says the OP sat down his wife to talk to her about how much time he would have to spend caring for his mother(though it doesn't say what her response was).

but if the wife had issues with the marriage she should have spoken up and tried to work it out instead of leaving him all of a sudden.
 
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spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: rh71
I'm just curious if you gave her the attention you gave your mom, or at least close to it. I'm not trying to make excuses for her nor am I making accusations at you... but maybe she felt like she really did deserve a more devoted husband as well. I have a hard time believing a 5-year marriage can die simply from meeting a guy while away. Maybe she had been considering getting out since before then.

Either way, the situation as it stands does suck and you sound remarkably upbeat about it. The best thing is to forget her and move on with someone else. Plain and simple.

And some guys out there (this cruise guy) deserve to get the beating of their life.
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rh71,

I've been doing a lot of reading/counseling and actually a terminal illness of a parent can cause a tremendous strain on any relationship. Even my deacon said it happens quite often. My heart was with my Mom.

Interesting statistics about losing one's parent from one of the books:
about 35% of marriages end in divorce during or shortly after terminal illness
50% say they get stronger
15% say no change

One thing I've learned is to watch out for stress/depression and talk about it with your partner. It broke us.:frown:
 
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spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: sygyzy
Were you upset about the financial split? It seems like she contributed a good amount to your household income.
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She only paid the bills, I paid the rest including all meals/entertainment/movies/dates, etc. I was the bread winner.
 
X

xxAgentCowxx

Senior member
Jan 26, 2003
867
0
0
from the title i was just gonna be like :beer: Congrats!

im sorry that all went down but thats what you get for trusting women
 
G

ggavinmoss

Diamond Member
Apr 20, 2001
4,798
1
0
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: conjur
So, you got the papers?

Time for a party and to get on with your new lease on life!
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She left behind all her legal stuff as well. I have her whole history on file.

She cashed our escrow refund check (I found out because I called the mortgage company) and decided not to tell me. So I call her at the jackasses house (she didn't know that I knew where she was living) and simply ask "Could you please mail me a check for half of the escrow, thanks"

I receive the check and low and behold she has a new last name...his!

So I called her folks and ask "did she marry that guy?" To which they begrudgingly answer "yes, yes, she did"
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So what did her parents have to say, did you ask them about the situation at all?

-geoff
 
AgaBoogaBoo

AgaBoogaBoo

Lifer
Feb 16, 2003
26,108
5
81
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: Jhill
Look on the bright side. This guys been divorced twice already. I can almost guarantee she won't be happy for long, if at all. When she comes crawling back, say BHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

If your wife didn't want to work it out with you, she won't want to work it out with someone else. Same goes for the guy. ALL marriages take a lot of work to survive.

Did you mom owe her money? I don't understand the part about the money?
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division of joint assets. Financyially it was better for me to pull from my trust fund than to re-finance and be upside down on a house. Plus I didn't want to touch savings/investments. I kept the house and most of the stuff in it. She left behind almost all of her belongings like pictures, stuff her mom made her, etc.
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If she left all that behind maybe she's not expecting to stay long with him either....
 
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spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: ggavinmoss
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: conjur
So, you got the papers?

Time for a party and to get on with your new lease on life!
Click to expand...

She left behind all her legal stuff as well. I have her whole history on file.

She cashed our escrow refund check (I found out because I called the mortgage company) and decided not to tell me. So I call her at the jackasses house (she didn't know that I knew where she was living) and simply ask "Could you please mail me a check for half of the escrow, thanks"

I receive the check and low and behold she has a new last name...his!

So I called her folks and ask "did she marry that guy?" To which they begrudgingly answer "yes, yes, she did"
Click to expand...

So what did her parents have to say, did you ask them about the situation at all?

-geoff
Click to expand...

They weren't too happy. But hey! Best of luck to her!
 
C

conjur

No Lifer
Jun 7, 2001
58,686
3
0
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: conjur
So, you got the papers?

Time for a party and to get on with your new lease on life!
Click to expand...

She left behind all her legal stuff as well. I have her whole history on file.

She cashed our escrow refund check (I found out because I called the mortgage company) and decided not to tell me. So I call her at the jackasses house (she didn't know that I knew where she was living) and simply ask "Could you please mail me a check for half of the escrow, thanks"

I receive the check and low and behold she has a new last name...his!

So I called her folks and ask "did she marry that guy?" To which they begrudgingly answer "yes, yes, she did"
Click to expand...

Did she marry him before your divorce was legally final?

Slap her with some retroactive bigamy charge! BWA HA HA HA HA HA

That b!tch has forgotten one thing, karma. She'll get hers one day and it will be a PISSER!
 
S

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
yep Conjur.

And from all this reading and counseling she suffers from "repetative behavior". Its something like where she has never really figured out who she is and just keeps making the same mistakes over and over.

When she told me she was leaving I asked "is this how it happened with your previous husband" and she said "yes, and my boyfriend before that"

She's a woman who runs and I'm sure she'll do it again. I think they waited until a week or two after it was final.

Good thing is I'm doing some soul searching and taking care of myself so I'll be prepared for the next love.
 
Y

Yax

Platinum Member
Feb 11, 2003
2,866
0
0
Let this be a lesson to all who trusts their wives so much to let them on a cruise by themselves. Geez. Listen to Tom Lykis from now on dude.
 
SaltBoy

SaltBoy

Diamond Member
Aug 13, 2001
8,975
11
81
Well... look on the bright side, if there's any consolation -- now you can do WHATEVER you want, WHENEVER you want, without ANYBODY'S permission. :)
 
OutHouse

OutHouse

Lifer
Jun 5, 2000
36,410
616
126
dude that sucks. but im confused in the timeline of events. can you give a quick run down on how all this transpired?

also im confused about the escrow thing.
 
SunnyD

SunnyD

Belgian Waffler
Jan 2, 2001
32,675
146
106
www.neftastic.com
Well I have good news then. You're free. Go fishing, but don't eat what you reel in. :)

My wife and I have determined the world would be a better place if guys and gals just got together occasionally for sex and didn't have to worry about the relationship thing - this is just our observation of all the relationships around us that have, are and will be falling apart. (Mind you, we're happily married - it's just the world that's sucking right now).
 
V

virtueixi

Platinum Member
Jun 28, 2003
2,781
0
0
That's terrible. Don't worry, she'll end up getting divorced herself and loose half of whatever she got from you. BTW You seem pretty calm and accepting of this.
 
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spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: Citrix
dude that sucks. but im confused in the timeline of events. can you give a quick run down on how all this transpired?

also im confused about the escrow thing.
Click to expand...

end of august - goes on cruise
mid september say she's filing and leaving
first of october she is out of house staying at a friends
Mid november divorce is final and I come home to empty house (she scheduled the movers the day after it was final and took the stuff while I was at work)
Late november/early december - she goes on another cruise with this guy and marries.
12/30/03 Mom passes
1/2/04 I completely and totally lose it

Escrow - a cash balance used to pay for insurance and taxes on a house. Ours was about 3K and per the agreement half of that was mine. The check was forwarded to her new place of residency because it was addressed to both of us and USPS forwarded it because of a change of address.
 
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