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Help save my relationship!

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Hey, the He Said She Said book. Can you give me a link? I looked today at Barnes and Noble and they had 2 different ones. I did pick up 5 Love Languages. About half way through it and it's REALLY good. Gonna make the g/f read it. I would say it's a must. It was in the Christian section but it doesn't really have much religion in it, just a few quotes from the bible that it uses as "history" so w/e.
 
Okay. Remember what you did back when you first got together? Those first six months? Not the fvcking like bunnies, but the other stuff. Go on a date. Not to the movies or something crappy like that, go somewhere that you have to interact.
 
gotta say this thread is one of the better one's I've read on ATOT in a long time- I came in expecting a bunch of immature idiotic replys (ya, there were some) but overall an actually really good, helpfull thread.
I've been in your situation but unfortunitly it ended up with us breaking up. We're seein a lot of each other again now but I can already see a lot of the old problems cropping up. Our main problem is that she is unwilling to get help and I can't see her ever reading any of those books. I'm all for that kind of thing, and trying new things, but she unfortunitly was/is not. I dont think there is much hope for us.
Good luck man, hope you guys make it and can keep the spark alive.
 
Originally posted by: Lazy8s
ok, let me spell this out for you as nicely as I know how.....

sh!t or get off the pot!!!

g/f of 5 years and you don't know what the problem is? she wants to get married! I don't care what she says or how much she denys it that's the problem. period.


...unless you're 13 in which case you must be the guy from the pregnant 14y.o. sister thread.
Click to expand...

DING DING DING
 
Sounds like the OP is a chump, and the GF is now using him as an ego booster. 😛 If the relationship is in trouble the problem is NOT that you need to suplicate to her and dote on her at every turn. Attraction and love aren't built with flowers, chocolates and 10 thousand "I love you"s or "You're beautiful"s a day.
 
We've actually talked since I began this thread and I asked her what made her feel loved? She said it makes her feel loved when I do or elude to the fact that I'm thinking about her in her absence.

She just wants to feel like she has an impression and she is important enough not to forget about. I now have something tangible to build from and I also really appreciate the advice that lead me to this, LolaWiz, dullard, Scarpozzi, jjsole, and Isla your maturity in this thread makes remaining a member to this forum worth it. Thanks again.
 
Originally posted by: Kinnetic
We've actually talked since I began this thread and I asked her what made her feel loved? She said it makes her feel loved when I do or elude to the fact that I'm thinking about her in her absence.

She just wants to feel like she has an impression and she is important enough not to forget about. I now have something tangible to build from and I also really appreciate the advice that lead me to this, LolaWiz, dullard, Scarpozzi, jjsole, and Isla your maturity in this thread makes remaining a member to this forum worth it. Thanks again.
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If I can throw a little more advice in to this thread-
Now that you have that little valuable nugget, make sure not to over use it. I got in to trouble with that before- you figure out what they like, keep doing it trying to make them as happy as possible, then it really loses it's significance. Just keep that in mind when you feel the urge to tell her how much you were thinking about her every day after work =).
That being said, well timed complements and such should have a much greater effect 😉
 
If you leave her alone she'll get lonley and miss you. Or just miss having someone.

As it is now you did your good things. she knows it. Anything more you will just lose self esteme and self worth and she will eat up the attention for her ego. And it will probably only help her ease into another relationship. Make it tough for her that she left. Make her miss you and be lonely. Women get lonely and depressed FAST. She will think twice about leaveing again and try harder to make it work. I'm totally serious on this too. Then when she wants to meet or go out you can make it really special and snag her back for the win.
 
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