<<Tell me is it POSSIBLE to actually own something nice and still have a cat?!!!! >>
Uhoh, sounds like you've got one with expensive tastes. How old is it first of all? When cats are young they're high-flying balls of intense energy and woe to whatever gets in the way. For the cat, it's all in the name of fun, not so much fun for the owner, however. Most cats settle down after a year, some never do. If you're trying to protect furniture, buy kitty a scratching post. They can be inexpensive and simple or complex (such as a kitty play area (kinda like a jungle gym) and a bit pricey. In my experience, the pricier play stations are better because they're more interseting to the cat, and hence, the cat will (hopefully) take the time to scratch it instead of the furniture (think about it kitty-wise, which would you rather scratch, a boring carpeted stick or scratch on a neat gym with areas to leap and play and neat dangly things to bat at). As for things on counters, etc, you can get a spray called bitter apple that deters them (they hate the smell)or you can even try aluminum foil on top for the counter for a bit (they hate the feel of it on their paws).If you catch them in the act of jumping on a counter, clap your hands loudly and say NO. The noise is uaually enough to scare them off. You can also try distractive measures, such as toyus with bits of feather or jingly balls on/in them.
Cats are hard headed, but very rewarding.
Good luck! 🙂