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have you ever been shatted on by a bird?

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I was at my sister's house for a backyard barbecue and we had just sat down to eat. We were looking up at a bunch of seagulls* when suddenly a huge glob of bird shit came down and landed right in a bowl of potato salad. It was funny until I looked at my sister and she was pissed.

*- Yes, there are seagulls up here in Colorado!
 
Twice, once when I was about 18 sitting on the deck drinking a beer and got it square in the middle of my naked chest from a robin. Walked over to the hose and washed off, then continued enjoying the sun and my brew.

Second time was about a year ago when I was getting into my truck at work. A seagull that had been sitting on the street lamp pole above me, took off and covered me with shit. I used the towell I keep in behind the seats to wipe the worst of it off and then went home for a shower.

Seahawks have deadly aim, and can drop what seems like a pint of shit.

All the McDonald's food they eat gives them the shits.
 
walking back to dorms from class, I felt something wet hit my head. Put my hand on my head to see what it was and it came back white. I was pretty disgusted. Headed straight for the shower.
 
Years ago, a seagull got me on the head just as I was exiting a car.
When we were kids going to Fort Sumter on a boat, my bro thought it would be fun to try and snatch one of the birds that was taking bread from his hand. Pooped down the side of his face.😀😀
 
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