Have you ever been bullied before? Come inside...

[Red Squirrel]

The problem with standing up to bullies is the possibility of suspension which would go on your school record. More schools/school systems have a no tolerance policy. This greatly deters those who are bullied to stand up for themselves.

That was the situation I was in in elementary, they were one of those idiotic "zero tolerance" schools so I could not even fight back. Since the bullying in my case was verbal and not physical, it did not break any rules.

Interestingly, other than my high school which is a brand new building, that school is the only school I went to that remains as is, all the other schools got remodeled or demolished/rebuilt. When I pass by there I have an awkward nostalgia feeling. While it brings back some of the not so good memories, it also makes me realize "I did it, it's over". When I was young I could not wait to become an adult, have a job, and own a house and car and have freedom. I'm there now.

 

[Mayne]

That was the situation I was in in elementary, they were one of those idiotic "zero tolerance" schools so I could not even fight back. Since the bullying in my case was verbal and not physical, it did not break any rules.

Interestingly, other than my high school which is a brand new building, that school is the only school I went to that remains as is, all the other schools got remodeled or demolished/rebuilt. When I pass by there I have an awkward nostalgia feeling. While it brings back some of the not so good memories, it also makes me realize "I did it, it's over". When I was young I could not wait to become an adult, have a job, and own a house and car and have freedom. I'm there now.

thats awesome man. enjoyed reading all that.

 

[Mayne]

for me. I went back to that school all high on acid and principal pulled me into his office. Long story but funny.

 

[MongGrel]

for me. I went back to that school all high on acid and principal pulled me into his office. Long story but funny.

 

[flunky nassau]

Yup, got bullied (a lot of name calling) because I was the shortest in my class and I was Asian going to a school in Oakland--lots of black & hispanic kids.

Ironically, this was early in highschool when I was learning a lot about US History & slavery & racism, yet it was the black kids who were racist as fuck towards me. I got the whole "is Yan Can Cook or Bruce Lee your dad" and "he knows karate" treatment, ALL from the black kids.

I hold no animosity towards anyone, as I've escaped rather unscathed and now hold a unique personal perspective. I still live in Oakland and as a victim of repeated racism from blacks, I always have a chuckle when I hear them complain about racism or pull the race card.

 

[desura]

The one thing to keep in mind is that as you grow older, memories fade.

But I definitely think that early bullying really messed me up, which effectively knocked me off track and resulted in failure in school and subsequent career.

I'm still picking up the pieces from that. But at least the memories have faded and I have a bit more perspective on life.

 

[Scooby Doo]

I always found fighting back made things worse. LOL course didn't help I'm a weakling that any defense was pretty much useless.

 

[mizzou]

Probably TONS of people on this forum were bullied at some point. I was bullied a little bit in my 12-13 age school years. I was in an odd point in my life, trying to explore my own identity, and deal with the awkwardness of puberty.

Most of the time, it was completely uncalled for and completely unprovoked. Some billy-badass would choose me to try and intimidate because they figured I wouldn't do anything back...and at the time I wouldn't.

 

[Jeff7]

I always found fighting back made things worse. LOL course didn't help I'm a weakling that any defense was pretty much useless.

That thought crossed my mind more than once.
As an 8th grader, I was still not much bigger than the 5th graders, and I was never terribly muscular. I was 110lbs when I graduated high school.

I just figured that getting my ass kicked by someone in under 10 seconds was not going to improve the situation, especially if their buddies would have joined in.

 

[MongGrel]

Heh, I was only at 145 lbs years later and after boot camp.

Was 6' though.

Have packed a bit more on over the years, he he.

 

[Sho'Nuff]

I was bullied in middle school and high school, but it was realtively inneffective as:

1. I didn't care because I was so caught up in what I was doing to be socially aware of what was going on;

2. I was bigger and stronger than most kids my age (6' 3" 160 in 8th grade); and

3. I had a brother and father who were both built like brick shithouses and scared the hell out of most bullies my age. It was basically a "you f with me, you f with my brother" scenario.

FWIW I think that a lot of the effect of bullying could be ameliorated if parents were to take the time to counsel their children to not care so much about what others may think (emotional bullying); to fight when they have to; to pick their fights carefully and tactfully (i.e., don't fight a group, don't fight someone with a weapon, etc.); and most importantly to realize that nothing is forever, and eventually things will get better.

And for those of you who have basically discounted parental involvement, as a parent myself I think that your viewpoint is naive. Kids need and almost demand parental attention. A parent should never be so clueless as to not be aware of such a serious issue in their child's life. And while it won't save every kid, parental intervention likely can avoid tragedy in a majority of bullying cases.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Basically twice.

First was in 3rd grade by a kid that was held back one year. My teacher told my mom that he would always put the two of us together because I stood up for myself better than others would. I was small for my age and more beautiful than any woman so naturally he saw me as an easy target, but it was generally just pestering (knocking my things off the table, calling me a Nazi because of my German heritage, etc) except for one time where he pushed me into a bush and I got scratched a little, but I'd put my best effort at getting back at him even though he was obviously my physical better. My dad was a very strong advocate of "Hit back twice as hard" as well, and got me lifting weights and stuff (not that it likely helped then) though.

Second time was in 6th grade, by this beady-eyed asthmatic little fucker, one of the few kids smaller than me. It was always cowardly passive-aggressive stuff, like using a hollow mechanical pencil as a lead blowpipe (I stood up knocking my table over and yelled "Do that again!" with my history teacher giving a deer-in-headlights expression), or jumping over my head when sitting at my spot in PE (grabbed his leg midair once and he fell face-first), to eventually just laughing at me from a distance. At one point I gave him a bloody nose and told him that I'd shoot him the next time he laughed at me, and I was expelled from school for that.

Expulsion completely killed all my early burgeoning machismo and I just sit back in sullen virginity as all the non-manlets of the world enjoy its riches. In college this one guy just straight-up said "I want to fuck you in the ass! Fuck. You. In. The. Ass." motioning at his own butt, and all I could do was glare at him. Obviously it's probably a good thing that I didn't just blow up on him like I would have as a kid, but the experience of being a cowed pussy afraid of consequences for retaliation is honestly depressing. I spent at least a week stewing in anger over how much I would have liked to see him raped and killed, where taking care of business immediately would have blown off that steam immediately.