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Guy gets laid for the first time then calls his mom crying about it
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You people calling him pathetic, well, why don't you just post all of your insecurities in your sigs because you obviously have many if you find it necessary to belittle someone with seriouis mental problems. I can't even begin to imagine what sort of wierd "basement-boy" issues you all have, but just help save humanity and DIAF.
Medicine Bear
Banned
Update.
Got home last night and the fiancée was all in a tizzy about going to see her friend. She begged me to go with her so that I could "talk to him man to man" if needed. Told her that would be a problem since he apparently wasn't a man. Didn't make her too happy when I said that, but I went.
We get there and "Andy" at first doesn't want to let us in and is talking to us through the door and is obviously crying. She finally convinces him to let us in and immediately I couldn't believe what a mess he was and what a mess his apartment was.
He looked like he hadn't shaved or taken a bath in days and his eyes were bloodshot with huge bags under them. The apartment looked like the Tasmanian Devil had torn through the place while jonesing for some more meth.
My fiancée finally got him to stop crying long enough to tell us what had happened. According to him some guys from work had been giving him sh1t for some time now about never having a girlfriend, never going out, etc... so he decided to go out with a group of people from work on Friday after work. They went to a fairly small bar and were sitting around talking and drinking. At one point this girl, Melinda or Melissa(never was clear on that) came over and started talking to Andy. Admittedly he's not a bad looking guy, and I've seen this happen before when the fiancée and I managed to drag him out of the house. As the night goes on she keeps flirting with him and making it obvious that she is his if he wants her. The people he is with start giving him a hard time about taking her home and he resists. Finally he decides to leave with her because "they were teasing him so much and it was making him want to cry"
So Andy and Melinda/Melissa leave. They go out to his car and when they get in she is all over him. Kissing him, hands in the crotch, you know the usual. He says he wasn't really resisting her, but that he was uncomfortable because he knew she was going to want sex. Eventually she suggests they go to her place and he says ok. When they get there it is on. She starts getting naked and is all over him and starting to take his clothes off. During this time he starts to get upset and she asks what is wrong. He tells her that he is a virgin and "wants his first time to be special." She tells him she has always wanted to be with a virgin and that the night will be special so he relents and they have sex. During which he says he starts bawling and feeling bad about it because he doesn't really like it.
They stop for and she tells him he needs to be a man and finish the job. That was when he said he really lost it and started having a breakdown. Said he got up and started to get dressed but couldn't because he was so dizzy from being upset. Said she told him that he was a little bitch and to get the fvck out of her place. That is when he left and somehow made it home. He still isn't 100% sure how he even got home.
He says after getting home he gets out a bunch of pictures of his family and just looks at them and cries all night long. Said he doesn't remember falling to sleep but that the next morning he felt like he needed to call his mom and go home so they could take care of him. Said he called and was all upset and was telling his mom what happened and that she said it was ok and that people have sex all the time. Said he kept apologizing to her over and over again and she just told him there was nothing to apologize about and that it was normal. At some point his Dad got on the phone and told him it was no big deal. Andy says that is when he really lost it and started screaming "it is a big deal. I had sex" and finally just hung up the phone.
The next thing he remembers is being in the hospital with his entire family around him. Said they were all supportive and telling him he needed to just get better and stop worrying about doing what normal people do. Said he totally lost it again and they had to sedate him. He doesn't remember much else except that a psych nurse came to talk to him on several occasions.
Sorry this is getting so long. I know there will be posts asking for Cliff's.
So anyway he gets released and the people at the hospital tell him he had a panic attack and that he will be fine. He gets home, calls my fiancée, and thus our involvement begins.
Back to the now.
While were are there and he is telling us this he keeps crying and crying and crying. Saying that He shouldn't have had sex with this girl because he didn't love her and that it wasn't special and didn't feel good. He kept saying he had "ruined himself" now and that nobody would want him. My fiancée kept telling him that wasn't true and that he needed to stop beating himself up about it.
I asked him if he was gay and he flipped out. Started screaming "I'm not gay! Why does everyone think I'm gay?" I told him I thought he had some issues with his sexuality and he needed to deal with them. He again got mad and said he didn't have any problems. I told him that he obviously did and that he needed to do some soul searching and come to terms with himself. That just made him lose it again. He curled up into a ball on the floor and just kept crying and sobbing something about wanting to be a little boy again. Dude has some serious issues.
Needless to say this freaked my fiancée out and she got really upset with the fact that he wouldn't stop crying and was just lying there curled up on the floor. We couldn't get him to stop crying or get up off the floor so finally I told her she needed to call his parents. We managed to find their number and called them. They rushed over and started trying to get him to stop crying. They couldn't. Heck her dad and I, both pretty big guys, couldn't even get him up off the floor. We would try to pick him up and he we just start crying harder and going into convulsions. Finally his dad called one of his brothers and between the 3 of us we managed to get him off the floor and into bed.
While his mom stayed with him in the bedroom his dad wanted to talk to the fiancée and I about what had been going on. We told him and he said he didn't understand his son's reaction and that they have never given any of their children the idea that sex was dirty or bad so they don't know where they got it. I told his dad that I really thought "Andy" had issues with his sexuality that he hadn't come to terms with. To my shock his dad said "yeah, his mom and I both think he is gay and just doesn't want to admit it." My fiancée and I were really surprised when he said that. He told us that while Andy was in the hospital they tried to talk to him about it and it just made him more upset. Said they even had his sister, who he is really close to, try to talk to him about it and it just upset him so they dropped it and figured he would come to grips with it on his own time if that was the case.
My fiancée and I stuck around until nearly midnight last night. Helped clean up his apartment and would try to talk to him between his crying fits. Finally his parents managed to get him out of bed and were going to take him home. They are going to try and get him back into the psych ward today to get evaluated and see if it is a mental illness thing or just Andy not facing up to his sexuality. Who knows, but the whole thing is fvcked up.
Do I feel bad about laughing at the guy? No, still think it is damn funny. Just one of those messed up situations where you have to laugh. Feel sorry for him if it is a mental illness thing, but I honestly think he just doesn't want to admit he is gay.
Got home last night and the fiancée was all in a tizzy about going to see her friend. She begged me to go with her so that I could "talk to him man to man" if needed. Told her that would be a problem since he apparently wasn't a man. Didn't make her too happy when I said that, but I went.
We get there and "Andy" at first doesn't want to let us in and is talking to us through the door and is obviously crying. She finally convinces him to let us in and immediately I couldn't believe what a mess he was and what a mess his apartment was.
He looked like he hadn't shaved or taken a bath in days and his eyes were bloodshot with huge bags under them. The apartment looked like the Tasmanian Devil had torn through the place while jonesing for some more meth.
My fiancée finally got him to stop crying long enough to tell us what had happened. According to him some guys from work had been giving him sh1t for some time now about never having a girlfriend, never going out, etc... so he decided to go out with a group of people from work on Friday after work. They went to a fairly small bar and were sitting around talking and drinking. At one point this girl, Melinda or Melissa(never was clear on that) came over and started talking to Andy. Admittedly he's not a bad looking guy, and I've seen this happen before when the fiancée and I managed to drag him out of the house. As the night goes on she keeps flirting with him and making it obvious that she is his if he wants her. The people he is with start giving him a hard time about taking her home and he resists. Finally he decides to leave with her because "they were teasing him so much and it was making him want to cry"
So Andy and Melinda/Melissa leave. They go out to his car and when they get in she is all over him. Kissing him, hands in the crotch, you know the usual. He says he wasn't really resisting her, but that he was uncomfortable because he knew she was going to want sex. Eventually she suggests they go to her place and he says ok. When they get there it is on. She starts getting naked and is all over him and starting to take his clothes off. During this time he starts to get upset and she asks what is wrong. He tells her that he is a virgin and "wants his first time to be special." She tells him she has always wanted to be with a virgin and that the night will be special so he relents and they have sex. During which he says he starts bawling and feeling bad about it because he doesn't really like it.
They stop for and she tells him he needs to be a man and finish the job. That was when he said he really lost it and started having a breakdown. Said he got up and started to get dressed but couldn't because he was so dizzy from being upset. Said she told him that he was a little bitch and to get the fvck out of her place. That is when he left and somehow made it home. He still isn't 100% sure how he even got home.
He says after getting home he gets out a bunch of pictures of his family and just looks at them and cries all night long. Said he doesn't remember falling to sleep but that the next morning he felt like he needed to call his mom and go home so they could take care of him. Said he called and was all upset and was telling his mom what happened and that she said it was ok and that people have sex all the time. Said he kept apologizing to her over and over again and she just told him there was nothing to apologize about and that it was normal. At some point his Dad got on the phone and told him it was no big deal. Andy says that is when he really lost it and started screaming "it is a big deal. I had sex" and finally just hung up the phone.
The next thing he remembers is being in the hospital with his entire family around him. Said they were all supportive and telling him he needed to just get better and stop worrying about doing what normal people do. Said he totally lost it again and they had to sedate him. He doesn't remember much else except that a psych nurse came to talk to him on several occasions.
Sorry this is getting so long. I know there will be posts asking for Cliff's.
So anyway he gets released and the people at the hospital tell him he had a panic attack and that he will be fine. He gets home, calls my fiancée, and thus our involvement begins.
Back to the now.
While were are there and he is telling us this he keeps crying and crying and crying. Saying that He shouldn't have had sex with this girl because he didn't love her and that it wasn't special and didn't feel good. He kept saying he had "ruined himself" now and that nobody would want him. My fiancée kept telling him that wasn't true and that he needed to stop beating himself up about it.
I asked him if he was gay and he flipped out. Started screaming "I'm not gay! Why does everyone think I'm gay?" I told him I thought he had some issues with his sexuality and he needed to deal with them. He again got mad and said he didn't have any problems. I told him that he obviously did and that he needed to do some soul searching and come to terms with himself. That just made him lose it again. He curled up into a ball on the floor and just kept crying and sobbing something about wanting to be a little boy again. Dude has some serious issues.
Needless to say this freaked my fiancée out and she got really upset with the fact that he wouldn't stop crying and was just lying there curled up on the floor. We couldn't get him to stop crying or get up off the floor so finally I told her she needed to call his parents. We managed to find their number and called them. They rushed over and started trying to get him to stop crying. They couldn't. Heck her dad and I, both pretty big guys, couldn't even get him up off the floor. We would try to pick him up and he we just start crying harder and going into convulsions. Finally his dad called one of his brothers and between the 3 of us we managed to get him off the floor and into bed.
While his mom stayed with him in the bedroom his dad wanted to talk to the fiancée and I about what had been going on. We told him and he said he didn't understand his son's reaction and that they have never given any of their children the idea that sex was dirty or bad so they don't know where they got it. I told his dad that I really thought "Andy" had issues with his sexuality that he hadn't come to terms with. To my shock his dad said "yeah, his mom and I both think he is gay and just doesn't want to admit it." My fiancée and I were really surprised when he said that. He told us that while Andy was in the hospital they tried to talk to him about it and it just made him more upset. Said they even had his sister, who he is really close to, try to talk to him about it and it just upset him so they dropped it and figured he would come to grips with it on his own time if that was the case.
My fiancée and I stuck around until nearly midnight last night. Helped clean up his apartment and would try to talk to him between his crying fits. Finally his parents managed to get him out of bed and were going to take him home. They are going to try and get him back into the psych ward today to get evaluated and see if it is a mental illness thing or just Andy not facing up to his sexuality. Who knows, but the whole thing is fvcked up.
Do I feel bad about laughing at the guy? No, still think it is damn funny. Just one of those messed up situations where you have to laugh. Feel sorry for him if it is a mental illness thing, but I honestly think he just doesn't want to admit he is gay.
GamerExpress
Banned
Was this man you OP>>
sourceninja
Diamond Member
You are a much bigger man then me. I would of just walked out and left him on the floor. Its pathetic. You must really love your fiancee.
mercanucaribe
Banned
What in the hell would make you think that he "doesn't want to admit he's gay"? Since when does being in the closet make you curl up and cry when you have sex with a girl? Even if he was gay, I doubt his problem would be not wanting to admit it. 😕
Hyperblaze
Lifer
Thanks for the update. Please do us all a favor and update your original post though so folks don't have to go hunting through all the pages to see your update.
Medicine Bear
Banned
Hey if the hotass investigator shows up at my house then all the better. She's one of the women on my list that I get a free pass to sleep with.
Hyperblaze
Lifer
While the situation seems to be a bit out of the ordinary (okay, I've never heard of this happening before myself), it's not exactly kind to laugh at other people's misfortune.
The guy seems to be mentally (or at least psychologically) unstable. And has issues.
Is that really something to laugh about?
The only problem that guy has, is not understanding that what you think or what his dad thinks or what his fvcking coworkers think is all a crock of sh!t. He worries so much about what people think that he feels he HAS to perform and then when he feels bad about it, people call him gay. Fvck that, peer pressure does this sh!t to people and the only thing people learn is that what someone else thinks of the way you live your life is diddly fvcking squat
I was pretty old (and I won't say how old) when I lost my virginity too... and it was a pretty crazy experience and I never let on that I was 'inexperienced' and fortunately my brilliance in watching tons of pornos helped a bit at least, so I didn't have any complaints though I'm sure I wasn't amazing the first time around.
My problem was that I was extremely shy. I still am, in fact, very shy. It's something people have noticed since I was very young and I too would get emotional and stuff when it came to women. For the longest time, I never dated or went out but that was simply because my mother was religious and told me to wait. And I should add, that in the culture I'm from -- a lot of people get arranged marriages. I think my parents just expected me to get older, then boom they'd find me somebody THEY liked and I'd be married and done with it. At a certain point in life, especially when the world around you is going out, dating, and fvcking the sh!t out of each other well -- you get jealous and lonely and then it's even HARDER to meet women. I am glad that my 'accidents' happened, and while I look back at my first time as a time I didn't really enjoy much (especially SINCE then), I can sympathize with this guy. At 27 years old and it being his first time, I know I had some idea in my head of what it would be like, and if that's ruined for him then it can be pretty traumatic. With me, it was pretty hard because I was very gentlemanly -- too much in fact, that women didn't get the 'hint' that I wanted to bang the hell out of them. I think that's his problem as well, especially when he's saying "Oh I want it to be special etc" -- I was in the same boat and felt the exact same way, and there was a huge sense of dissapointment after that first time for me. Maybe not to this guy's level, but it was definately there.
You said yourself he's a decent looking guy, and there's a thing in psychology when everybody tells you that you are good looking, and you should go out and have a girlfriend, that you can't meet those standards. I think this is what happened to me as well, as I am told I'm pretty decent looking -- and it set up some imperceptible standard I had to live up to. Perhaps that guy is the same. I don't personally think he's gay because he echoes a lot of what I went thru getting to where I am now, and I'm sure people thought I was gay or whatever -- that's their business. But the most helpful people in my life were friends that actively set me up on dates and stuff, and got the girls prepared for a guy that is pretty shy and reserved. When you have a girl that kind of expects that you're not a sex hound, and doesn't want to be banged like a drum, then you get a lot of respect and you can develop a good relationship with them. But if you meet some crazy b!tch that wants a wham bam thank you SIR, AND you have this guy's problems -- odds are there will be problems afterwards.
So if your fiance wants to be a good friend to this guy, just tell her to keep encouraging him and talking to him, be a source that he can lean on for questions and problems (sexual and otherwise), and help him meet girls that are 'nice', and he will come around with time.
Oh, and get him into some fvcking therapy and on medication. The latter to me seems necessary as his case is more serious than mine by far -- and even I took medicine for a short while to get thru some problems. Coupled with proper therapy (make sure you get a WOMAN therapist, it MATTERS), he can be just as normal as you in a short amount of time.
In the meanwhile, make sure you laugh behind his back. My friends all did it to me when I was going thru my phase but now that I have dated some pretty hot girls (because being NOT ugly is helpful), they are just jealous. And I love that now.
My problem was that I was extremely shy. I still am, in fact, very shy. It's something people have noticed since I was very young and I too would get emotional and stuff when it came to women. For the longest time, I never dated or went out but that was simply because my mother was religious and told me to wait. And I should add, that in the culture I'm from -- a lot of people get arranged marriages. I think my parents just expected me to get older, then boom they'd find me somebody THEY liked and I'd be married and done with it. At a certain point in life, especially when the world around you is going out, dating, and fvcking the sh!t out of each other well -- you get jealous and lonely and then it's even HARDER to meet women. I am glad that my 'accidents' happened, and while I look back at my first time as a time I didn't really enjoy much (especially SINCE then), I can sympathize with this guy. At 27 years old and it being his first time, I know I had some idea in my head of what it would be like, and if that's ruined for him then it can be pretty traumatic. With me, it was pretty hard because I was very gentlemanly -- too much in fact, that women didn't get the 'hint' that I wanted to bang the hell out of them. I think that's his problem as well, especially when he's saying "Oh I want it to be special etc" -- I was in the same boat and felt the exact same way, and there was a huge sense of dissapointment after that first time for me. Maybe not to this guy's level, but it was definately there.
You said yourself he's a decent looking guy, and there's a thing in psychology when everybody tells you that you are good looking, and you should go out and have a girlfriend, that you can't meet those standards. I think this is what happened to me as well, as I am told I'm pretty decent looking -- and it set up some imperceptible standard I had to live up to. Perhaps that guy is the same. I don't personally think he's gay because he echoes a lot of what I went thru getting to where I am now, and I'm sure people thought I was gay or whatever -- that's their business. But the most helpful people in my life were friends that actively set me up on dates and stuff, and got the girls prepared for a guy that is pretty shy and reserved. When you have a girl that kind of expects that you're not a sex hound, and doesn't want to be banged like a drum, then you get a lot of respect and you can develop a good relationship with them. But if you meet some crazy b!tch that wants a wham bam thank you SIR, AND you have this guy's problems -- odds are there will be problems afterwards.
So if your fiance wants to be a good friend to this guy, just tell her to keep encouraging him and talking to him, be a source that he can lean on for questions and problems (sexual and otherwise), and help him meet girls that are 'nice', and he will come around with time.
Oh, and get him into some fvcking therapy and on medication. The latter to me seems necessary as his case is more serious than mine by far -- and even I took medicine for a short while to get thru some problems. Coupled with proper therapy (make sure you get a WOMAN therapist, it MATTERS), he can be just as normal as you in a short amount of time.
In the meanwhile, make sure you laugh behind his back. My friends all did it to me when I was going thru my phase but now that I have dated some pretty hot girls (because being NOT ugly is helpful), they are just jealous. And I love that now.
Medicine Bear
Banned
Oh forgot to mention. This guy has never had a girlfriend. Never. His makeout session in college was the same sort of thing. Got drunk and made out with a girl then regretted it later.
Night Blade
Senior member
He must of been abused when he was younger, more than likely from an older woman, either he won't admit it or doesn't remember.
Otherwise, too sad to be funny.
Otherwise, too sad to be funny.
that's a good story, thanks man.
I'm guessing the part where he says "I just want to be a little boy again" something happened to him when he was a boy...maybe something with sex too since he thinks it's dirty/not right. whether with a female or male. I don't know what this Andy acts like so I wouldn't be able to tell you if he "looks" gay to me.
hope he's okay.
I'm guessing the part where he says "I just want to be a little boy again" something happened to him when he was a boy...maybe something with sex too since he thinks it's dirty/not right. whether with a female or male. I don't know what this Andy acts like so I wouldn't be able to tell you if he "looks" gay to me.
hope he's okay.
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