Guy gets laid for the first time then calls his mom crying about it

[TheAdvocate]

Medicine Bear's stories are the best. I no longer care whether or not they're true. Too entertaining to bother.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear
Let me set the background for you. This guy is 27 years old, lived an incredibly sheltered life, has known my fiancée since they were 5 and they have been best friends since then.

Now on to the story.

My fiancée just called and was telling me that her friend, let's call him Andy like the 40 year old virgin, called her at work all upset and crying. Seems that he went out over the weekend, Friday night I think, and was at a bar with some friends and had a bit too much to drink, which for him means he might have smelled a beer. Seriously I've seen the guy order virgin daiquiris on numerous occasions. Anyway back to the story. So while he is "drunk" some girl picks him up and takes him home to do the nasty. He tells her he doesn't want to and just wants to go to sleep but after a while she convinces him to do the deed. As soon as it is over he wants to go home and starts crying. Then the girl is "mean to him and starts calling him a pussy" and so he gathers up his clothes and runs out of her place.

Fast forward to the next day.

Andy somehow managed to get home and wakes up in his own bed. His first thought is to call his mom and tell her what he has done. Doing so he starts to cry and is unable to keep talking to his mom and just shuts down. So after a little while his parents come over and start beating on his door, he doesn't answer so they eventually get someone to let them in. They find him in the fetal position sobbing like a schoolgirl. They finally manage to get him to come around and he begs them to take him to the hospital because he is having a nervous breakdown. They do and he spends the weekend there. Apparently he just got out and called my fiancée when he got home.

She calls me and starts telling me this and all I can do is laugh. She's not too happy with me right now but I have told her repeatedly that I think the guy is gay and he either hasn't come to terms with it or just hasn't come out yet. She is all worried and wants to go over there after work to make sure he is ok. I told her I didn't think I should go since I wouldn't be able to keep from laughing my ass off at him. To be honest I can't stop laughing and have tears running down my cheeks. So of course I had to come here and share with ATOT.

you sure have a lot of stories.

 

[LookingGlass]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear
Let me set the background for you. This guy is 27 years old, lived an incredibly sheltered life, has known my fiancée since they were 5 and they have been best friends since then.

Now on to the story.

My fiancée just called and was telling me that her friend, let's call him Andy like the 40 year old virgin, called her at work all upset and crying. Seems that he went out over the weekend, Friday night I think, and was at a bar with some friends and had a bit too much to drink, which for him means he might have smelled a beer. Seriously I've seen the guy order virgin daiquiris on numerous occasions. Anyway back to the story. So while he is "drunk" some girl picks him up and takes him home to do the nasty. He tells her he doesn't want to and just wants to go to sleep but after a while she convinces him to do the deed. As soon as it is over he wants to go home and starts crying. Then the girl is "mean to him and starts calling him a pussy" and so he gathers up his clothes and runs out of her place.

Fast forward to the next day.

Andy somehow managed to get home and wakes up in his own bed. His first thought is to call his mom and tell her what he has done. Doing so he starts to cry and is unable to keep talking to his mom and just shuts down. So after a little while his parents come over and start beating on his door, he doesn't answer so they eventually get someone to let them in. They find him in the fetal position sobbing like a schoolgirl. They finally manage to get him to come around and he begs them to take him to the hospital because he is having a nervous breakdown. They do and he spends the weekend there. Apparently he just got out and called my fiancée when he got home.

She calls me and starts telling me this and all I can do is laugh. She's not too happy with me right now but I have told her repeatedly that I think the guy is gay and he either hasn't come to terms with it or just hasn't come out yet. She is all worried and wants to go over there after work to make sure he is ok. I told her I didn't think I should go since I wouldn't be able to keep from laughing my ass off at him. To be honest I can't stop laughing and have tears running down my cheeks. So of course I had to come here and share with ATOT.

you sure have a lot of stories.

"A Day in the Shen life of one we call Medicine Bear." I will admit, the title alone was worth a laugh.

 

[Medicine Bear]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear
Let me set the background for you. This guy is 27 years old, lived an incredibly sheltered life, has known my fiancée since they were 5 and they have been best friends since then.

Now on to the story.

My fiancée just called and was telling me that her friend, let's call him Andy like the 40 year old virgin, called her at work all upset and crying. Seems that he went out over the weekend, Friday night I think, and was at a bar with some friends and had a bit too much to drink, which for him means he might have smelled a beer. Seriously I've seen the guy order virgin daiquiris on numerous occasions. Anyway back to the story. So while he is "drunk" some girl picks him up and takes him home to do the nasty. He tells her he doesn't want to and just wants to go to sleep but after a while she convinces him to do the deed. As soon as it is over he wants to go home and starts crying. Then the girl is "mean to him and starts calling him a pussy" and so he gathers up his clothes and runs out of her place.

Fast forward to the next day.

Andy somehow managed to get home and wakes up in his own bed. His first thought is to call his mom and tell her what he has done. Doing so he starts to cry and is unable to keep talking to his mom and just shuts down. So after a little while his parents come over and start beating on his door, he doesn't answer so they eventually get someone to let them in. They find him in the fetal position sobbing like a schoolgirl. They finally manage to get him to come around and he begs them to take him to the hospital because he is having a nervous breakdown. They do and he spends the weekend there. Apparently he just got out and called my fiancée when he got home.

She calls me and starts telling me this and all I can do is laugh. She's not too happy with me right now but I have told her repeatedly that I think the guy is gay and he either hasn't come to terms with it or just hasn't come out yet. She is all worried and wants to go over there after work to make sure he is ok. I told her I didn't think I should go since I wouldn't be able to keep from laughing my ass off at him. To be honest I can't stop laughing and have tears running down my cheeks. So of course I had to come here and share with ATOT.

you sure have a lot of stories.

Just have an interesting life I guess. The stuff here at work just comes from just watching and hearing what goes on. Heck if I wanted to I could have started a thread about being in the bathroom earlier today and hearing the guy a few stalls over on his cell phone telling someone "I'm really worried, I just took a crap and there is blood in my stool."

 

[40Hands]

Originally posted by: Ilmater

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear
He seems to get along fine with girls in a normal firendship sort of way. In addition to my fiancee most of his other friends are girls as well.

Is anyone else now utterly CONVINCED he's gay?

I have lots of friends that are girls...I get along with them really well (maybe even better then my guy friends)












...Although unlike this crazy dude, I would sleep with almost all of them in a second if given the chance

 

[Gillbot]

His plan of getting your wife in the sack is working perfectly.

 

[Medicine Bear]

Originally posted by: MazerRackham

Originally posted by: PingSpike
The saddest part of this story is this guy is still getting more tail than StormRider.

ROFLMAO

Ok had to ask about the skywalker guy to, so who is stormrider?

 

[HumblePie]

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear


Just have an interesting life I guess. The stuff here at work just comes from just watching and hearing what goes on. Heck if I wanted to I could have started a thread about being in the bathroom earlier today and hearing the guy a few stalls over on his cell phone telling someone "I'm really worried, I just took a crap and there is blood in my stool."

Bleh, is that the guy in the stall to the left or right of the guy that's asleep or playing his nintendo DS? Oh wait, that's my bathroom at work.

Some stories just aren't meant to be shared.

 

[jjones]

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear

Originally posted by: SaltBoy

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear

Originally posted by: Excelsior

Originally posted by: MikeyIs4Dcats
ah...so skywalker66 is finally found!

Winnar.

Who is that?

Banned user from a while back. Always told us about all the sexual things he was doing with his girlfriend, or something along those lines.

Thanks. Thought maybe he was more interesting than that. Seems that I missed out on some fun before I joined up. That guy, Dentalfloss, Golden Bear, Shinerburke, Texmasters. Seems there were some characters here in the past.

Actually, skywalker66's great dilemma was how to get women. This was an endless source of amusement to ATOTers and a constant source of ridicule for skywalker66. On some days he would post topic after topic asking the most inane questions about how to meet and talk to women. He was an utterly hopeless loser on that particular subject and quite entertaining for the rest of us.

Finally, in a fit of frustration, he asked to be banned but the AT mods wouldn't do it. He stated he couldn't just log out, as many ATOTers suggested (along with several suggestions to just end himself), because he was incapable of staying away from ATOT. The mods elected to keep him around for the amusement value, even when he crossed the line that would normally earn someone at least a vacation. In the end he resorted to posting links to porn or some such and the mods finally obliged him his wish to be banned.

His threads were definately amusing, even if the sheer volume of them was somewhat annoying.

 

[Accipiter22]

sexual abuse. Repressed memories. It's reminding him of something.

 

[mrrman]

thats hilarious but he also consented so its mutual

 

[suse920]

WTF

 

[episodic]

 

[imported_Kensai]

:laugh:

 

[intogamer]

p3nis too small

 

[Dimmu]

Originally posted by: Gillbot
His plan of getting your wife in the sack is working perfectly.

:light: *takes out pen and paper* *furiously scribbles*

 

[cavemanmoron]

Originally posted by: Medicine Bear
Let me set the background for you. This guy is 27 years old, lived an incredibly sheltered life, has known my fiancée since they were 5 and they have been best friends since then.

Now on to the story.

My fiancée just called and was telling me that her friend, let's call him Andy like the 40 year old virgin, called her at work all upset and crying. Seems that he went out over the weekend, Friday night I think, and was at a bar with some friends and had a bit too much to drink, which for him means he might have smelled a beer. Seriously I've seen the guy order virgin daiquiris on numerous occasions. Anyway back to the story. So while he is "drunk" some girl picks him up and takes him home to do the nasty. He tells her he doesn't want to and just wants to go to sleep but after a while she convinces him to do the deed. As soon as it is over he wants to go home and starts crying. Then the girl is "mean to him and starts calling him a pussy" and so he gathers up his clothes and runs out of her place.

Fast forward to the next day.

Andy somehow managed to get home and wakes up in his own bed. His first thought is to call his mom and tell her what he has done. Doing so he starts to cry and is unable to keep talking to his mom and just shuts down. So after a little while his parents come over and start beating on his door, he doesn't answer so they eventually get someone to let them in. They find him in the fetal position sobbing like a schoolgirl. They finally manage to get him to come around and he begs them to take him to the hospital because he is having a nervous breakdown. They do and he spends the weekend there. Apparently he just got out and called my fiancée when he got home.

She calls me and starts telling me this and all I can do is laugh. She's not too happy with me right now but I have told her repeatedly that I think the guy is gay and he either hasn't come to terms with it or just hasn't come out yet. She is all worried and wants to go over there after work to make sure he is ok. I told her I didn't think I should go since I wouldn't be able to keep from laughing my ass off at him. To be honest I can't stop laughing and have tears running down my cheeks. So of course I had to come here and share with ATOT.

 

[daniel49]

Tramatic so are you all right now?

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Zysoclaplem

Originally posted by: djheater
People who have been sexually abused often exhibit the symptoms you're describing OP

I agree, sounds like severe trauma of some type.

yea, based on what i have seen on L&O SVU i would have to agree

and he could call this rape

 

[Xyclone]

:laugh:

 

[Shawn]

he's probably gay and feels ashamed of what he has done.

 

[Slickone]

"Janet... (short pause cause his mind blanked).. Umm, i'm gonna try something now, but if you don't like it, let me know." ~ Andy

"Uh ok..." ~ Her

"Stick out your left hand." ~ Andy

"You pussy!" ~ Her

"Mommie!" ~ Andy

 

[rahvin]

Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
I don't think he's gay necessarily, just majorly fvcked in the head, which needs shrunk by a professional.

Honestly, this is the kind of person that turns psycho, kills women and dresses them up like Barbie & keeps the corpses in the basement...

++++

 

[AnitaPeterson]

Originally posted by: Darkstar757
Right now I am glad he has your finacee as a friend and not you, because if you had made fun of him he might have done something to the extreme like killed himslef.

Honestly, where's the harm in that? Would you like him to breed?

 

[Svnla]

Cried for 3 days when his sister got married? So this guy will cry whenever or whatever or whoever pops up out of ordinary. So pathetic.