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Gonna be anal probed

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My wife had to have one done several years ago when she had some strange lower abdominal pain they couldn't diagnose. She was in considerable discomfort after the procedure due to the air inducted into the bowels, but otherwise said it wasn't a big deal.
 
It's usually done under a general aneasthetic. But if you're more concerned about homophobia than your health..meh, whatever..
 
No matter how unpleasant the procedure might be for you, imagine it from the perspective of the people doing the test. They're going to be forced to spend their time spelunking in a cave with no interesting scenery at all. Be considerate and right before the test shove a few things up your ass for them to look at. Roll up a Playboy, maybe a snow globe or a treasure map that points to something buried under your spleen. Let them enjoy the trip.
 
GagHalfrunt said:
No matter how unpleasant the procedure might be for you, imagine it from the perspective of the people doing the test. They're going to be forced to spend their time spelunking in a cave with no interesting scenery at all. Be considerate and right before the test shove a few things up your ass for them to look at. Roll up a Playboy, maybe a snow globe or a treasure map that points to something buried under your spleen. Let them enjoy the trip.
Click to expand...

:thumbsup:

I'll remember this in a few years. Will come back to this thread to report.
 
Last time I had one (my second) the wife said a guy that had a later appointment came out angry just a few minutes after being called back.

Seems the idiot went through all the cleanse and purge the night before, went into the waiting room, and ignoring the big sign that warned colonoscopy patients not to drink coffee, fixed himself a cup even after his wife warned him not to.

Of course they ask you questions about everything you have had to eat or drink in the last 24 hours when you first go back and he told them he had a cup of coffee. So he gets to reschedule, and spend another night 'studying' for the test.
 
The top 10 things to hide up your rectum for the amusement of the doctor during a colonoscopy are:

Marble(s)
Toy Army Man
rubber glove
USB Jump Drive
9mm bullet
Chess Pawn
Small tube of KY Jelly
Tire Gauge
Crack Pipe

And the number 1 thing to have up your rectum during a colonoscopy for the doctors amusement is:

A used condom
 
Raizinman said:
The top 10 things to hide up your rectum for the amusement of the doctor during a colonoscopy are:

Marble(s)
Toy Army Man
rubber glove
USB Jump Drive
9mm bullet
Chess Pawn
Small tube of KY Jelly
Tire Gauge
Crack Pipe

And the number 1 thing to have up your rectum during a colonoscopy for the doctors amusement is:

A used condom
Click to expand...

List fail. No gerbil?
 
Raizinman said:
The top 10 things to hide up your rectum for the amusement of the doctor during a colonoscopy are:

Marble(s)
Toy Army Man
rubber glove
USB Jump Drive
9mm bullet
Chess Pawn
Small tube of KY Jelly
Tire Gauge
Crack Pipe

And the number 1 thing to have up your rectum during a colonoscopy for the doctors amusement is:

A used condom
Click to expand...
Or maybe this?
 
Had it done twice, it's no big deal (general both times). 99.9% of it is the prep/cleanout/fasting/no drinking for prior 12 hours.

BTW when I had it done a decade ago, the cleanout drug was some over the counter thing that cost about $7. This time around it was an Rx that cost north of $100. WTF?

Oh, one tip-get some baby wipes. Rash avoidance.
 
Thump553 said:
Had it done twice, it's no big deal (general both times). 99.9% of it is the prep/cleanout/fasting/no drinking for prior 12 hours.

BTW when I had it done a decade ago, the cleanout drug was some over the counter thing that cost about $7. This time around it was an Rx that cost north of $100. WTF?

Oh, one tip-get some baby wipes. Rash avoidance.
Click to expand...

www.goodrx.com
 
GagHalfrunt said:
No matter how unpleasant the procedure might be for you, imagine it from the perspective of the people doing the test. They're going to be forced to spend their time spelunking in a cave with no interesting scenery at all. Be considerate and right before the test shove a few things up your ass for them to look at. Roll up a Playboy, maybe a snow globe or a treasure map that points to something buried under your spleen. Let them enjoy the trip.
Click to expand...

I just about fell on the floor laughing. Thanks for a good morning read!
 
JulesMaximus said:
... I had my doctor check my prostate for the first time in my life last year and that was pretty unpleasant.
Click to expand...

That depends on the doctor. My regular doc is a man with a big finger - Great discomfort. D:
But when his little nurse practitioner did the digital rectal exam, it was better.
 
Thump553 said:
Had it done twice, it's no big deal (general both times). 99.9% of it is the prep/cleanout/fasting/no drinking for prior 12 hours.

BTW when I had it done a decade ago, the cleanout drug was some over the counter thing that cost about $7. This time around it was an Rx that cost north of $100. WTF?

Oh, one tip-get some baby wipes. Rash avoidance.
Click to expand...

Lol I got a rebate coupon with mine and ended up with a check from the fine folks at Moviprep.
 
I'm going in for one on Thursday. I have mild colitis (in remission for 5 years thank goodness) and this will be my 5th colonoscopy. The best part is the first meal after it's over.
 
Just remember, if you hear anything unzip during the procedure, run. Or don't. I'm not here to judge.

My dad had it done last year. He says the worst part is the stuff they give you to clean you out. You'll take the biggest shit of your life, only equaled by a night of Chipotle and bad seafood.
 
Sho'Nuff said:
Nah... you guys got it all wrong. If the doc is going sight seeing give him a world tour

http://www.amazon.com/STATUE-LIBERTY...tue+of+liberty

http://www.amazon.com/Home-Kreation-...e+eiffel+tower

http://www.amazon.com/Miniature-Sydn...re+opera+house
Click to expand...
Aladdin's "A Whole New World" just started playing in my mind. This is not the right context for that.



I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
Click to expand...
😱



And the reason for the laxatives:
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear
Click to expand...
 
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