My wife had to have one done several years ago when she had some strange lower abdominal pain they couldn't diagnose. She was in considerable discomfort after the procedure due to the air inducted into the bowels, but otherwise said it wasn't a big deal.
GagHalfrunt
Lifer
- Apr 19, 2001
- 25,284
- 1,996
- 126
No matter how unpleasant the procedure might be for you, imagine it from the perspective of the people doing the test. They're going to be forced to spend their time spelunking in a cave with no interesting scenery at all. Be considerate and right before the test shove a few things up your ass for them to look at. Roll up a Playboy, maybe a snow globe or a treasure map that points to something buried under your spleen. Let them enjoy the trip.
notposting
Diamond Member
- Jul 22, 2005
- 3,489
- 30
- 91
:thumbsup:
I'll remember this in a few years. Will come back to this thread to report.
MtnMan
Diamond Member
- Jul 27, 2004
- 8,927
- 8,132
- 136
Last time I had one (my second) the wife said a guy that had a later appointment came out angry just a few minutes after being called back.
Seems the idiot went through all the cleanse and purge the night before, went into the waiting room, and ignoring the big sign that warned colonoscopy patients not to drink coffee, fixed himself a cup even after his wife warned him not to.
Of course they ask you questions about everything you have had to eat or drink in the last 24 hours when you first go back and he told them he had a cup of coffee. So he gets to reschedule, and spend another night 'studying' for the test.
Seems the idiot went through all the cleanse and purge the night before, went into the waiting room, and ignoring the big sign that warned colonoscopy patients not to drink coffee, fixed himself a cup even after his wife warned him not to.
Of course they ask you questions about everything you have had to eat or drink in the last 24 hours when you first go back and he told them he had a cup of coffee. So he gets to reschedule, and spend another night 'studying' for the test.
Raizinman
Platinum Member
The top 10 things to hide up your rectum for the amusement of the doctor during a colonoscopy are:
Marble(s)
Toy Army Man
rubber glove
USB Jump Drive
9mm bullet
Chess Pawn
Small tube of KY Jelly
Tire Gauge
Crack Pipe
And the number 1 thing to have up your rectum during a colonoscopy for the doctors amusement is:
A used condom
Marble(s)
Toy Army Man
rubber glove
USB Jump Drive
9mm bullet
Chess Pawn
Small tube of KY Jelly
Tire Gauge
Crack Pipe
And the number 1 thing to have up your rectum during a colonoscopy for the doctors amusement is:
A used condom
GagHalfrunt
Lifer
- Apr 19, 2001
- 25,284
- 1,996
- 126
Jeff7
Lifer
- Jan 4, 2001
- 41,596
- 19
- 81
Thump553
Lifer
- Jun 2, 2000
- 12,742
- 2,518
- 126
Had it done twice, it's no big deal (general both times). 99.9% of it is the prep/cleanout/fasting/no drinking for prior 12 hours.
BTW when I had it done a decade ago, the cleanout drug was some over the counter thing that cost about $7. This time around it was an Rx that cost north of $100. WTF?
Oh, one tip-get some baby wipes. Rash avoidance.
BTW when I had it done a decade ago, the cleanout drug was some over the counter thing that cost about $7. This time around it was an Rx that cost north of $100. WTF?
Oh, one tip-get some baby wipes. Rash avoidance.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
Yeah, I'm sure the doctor would appreciate a coiled snake coming out of my a$$. Perhaps a Slinky...
Well I'm heading in for the exam tomorrow morning so I'm almost through with the prep nonsense. Looking forward to eating food, but I best not think about that too much just now...
Brian
slag
Lifer
- Dec 14, 2000
- 10,473
- 81
- 101
Sho'Nuff
Diamond Member
- Jul 12, 2007
- 6,211
- 121
- 106
Sho'Nuff
Diamond Member
- Jul 12, 2007
- 6,211
- 121
- 106
Nah... you guys got it all wrong. If the doc is going sight seeing give him a world tour
http://www.amazon.com/STATUE-LIBERTY...tue+of+liberty
http://www.amazon.com/Home-Kreation-...e+eiffel+tower
http://www.amazon.com/Miniature-Sydn...re+opera+house
Huh. I have my wife check pretty frequently....for....health concerns with no issues
Mermaidman
Diamond Member
- Sep 4, 2003
- 7,987
- 93
- 91
That depends on the doctor. My regular doc is a man with a big finger - Great discomfort. D:
But when his little nurse practitioner did the digital rectal exam, it was better.
BlitzPuppet
Platinum Member
- Feb 4, 2012
- 2,460
- 7
- 81
Linflas
Lifer
- Jan 30, 2001
- 15,395
- 78
- 91
Lol I got a rebate coupon with mine and ended up with a check from the fine folks at Moviprep.
I'm going in for one on Thursday. I have mild colitis (in remission for 5 years thank goodness) and this will be my 5th colonoscopy. The best part is the first meal after it's over.
mmntech
Lifer
- Sep 20, 2007
- 17,501
- 12
- 0
Just remember, if you hear anything unzip during the procedure, run. Or don't. I'm not here to judge.
My dad had it done last year. He says the worst part is the stuff they give you to clean you out. You'll take the biggest shit of your life, only equaled by a night of Chipotle and bad seafood.
My dad had it done last year. He says the worst part is the stuff they give you to clean you out. You'll take the biggest shit of your life, only equaled by a night of Chipotle and bad seafood.
Chapbass
Diamond Member
- May 31, 2004
- 3,144
- 91
- 91
Jeff7
Lifer
- Jan 4, 2001
- 41,596
- 19
- 81
Aladdin's "A Whole New World" just started playing in my mind. This is not the right context for that.
And the reason for the laxatives:
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