GF's brother has no direction in life and just beat up mom

[insect9]

If my son hit my wife, I would show him what real pain feels like. He needs help, and your girlfriend's parents don't seem to be able to provide it. Get law enforcement involved ASAP. He will only get worse if he isn't helped NOW.

 

[swbsam]

Take this from a guy who had a very troubled high school experience - went to a specialized h.s. against my will, cut class all the time, rebeled against his asian parents who tried to kick his ass every time he failed, shop lifted, hung out with the wrong kids, did drugs/drank, expelled from h.s., etc. etc.

I screwed up a lot but would NEVER, ever hit my mom. In fact, I'd beat someone to a pulp if they touched my mom, but never would i lay a finger on her....

Teen rebellion is one thing, beating your mom is another...

This kid needs help, whether its from the 5-0 or a medical specialist.

 

[RESmonkey]

This kid isn't going to a college or university, right? Just saying, he seems to fit the personality of a shooter... You should be careful.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: Alistar7

Is there any type of therapy that does not heavily depend on the cooperation of the patient?

The military.....

the last thing this guy needs is to learn how to properly and effectively operate firearms.

the discipline would be great, but he has serious instability issues. His actions sound like they come from someone with no friends, or social ability whatsoever. I imagine that his peers in boot camp would eat him up. Has been bullied while growing up?

This guy can't see beyond himself. He has no concept of the consequences of his actions, and how they affect those around him, emotionally or otherwise (is he mildly autistic? borderline perhaps, undiagnosed?). "Professional internet diagnosis" ftw!

The fact that he reacts violently and without remorse when he feels threatened, and that he perceives honest attempts to help him as serious threats is a bit scary. I can understand that strictly disciplinary parenting could lead to this, but he definitely hasn't learned to react in a healthy manner.

Time to get counseling for this Kid AND the parents. Both need to simmer down, before this escalates into something far worse.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: George P Burdell

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
If my son hit my wife, I'd kick his ass, consequences be dammed.
I'd call the cops and have him arrested. While he was in jail, I'd take the door off his room and take his video game system. If he has a computer, I'd move it to the kitchen or living room. When he was released (I wouldn't bail him out) I'd sit him down and tell him the rules. I'd let him know that if he didn't follow the rules I'd take him down and help him file for emancipation then I'd kick him out of the house.
When he grows up he can get his GED on his own, college on his own.

That kind of parenting would have done the kid some good, had it been implemented at a younger age. Now, I think it's too late.

exactly. He's beyond the point where that kind of discipline is effective. He's already established the "me" mentality. He probably thinks he's invincible, and those type of restrictions would only enrage him further.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: manowar821

Originally posted by: AMDZen
So I'm assuming his parents are rich doctors and bought him a $10,000 Alienware computer at 15 yo and a BMW 318i when he turned 16 yo?

Sounds like the parents are about as much a waste of skin as he is, you say they are strict but they obviously weren't very. At this point they are just being dumb for not calling the cops on his a$$. Its sad really, the world has come down to this because of PC liberal hollywood types that think hitting kids is bad. So now you have to call the cops and let the state discipline your kids for you. Thats just the way the world works now I guess, which is unfortunate because a good a$$ kicking would probably do him some good, but then the parent/s would be the ones disciplined by the state

yeah, it's those damn liberals again, alright. dumbass.

Not all of them, just the die hard hollywood types that have no grasp of reality, and have thusly made it a crime to hit your kids. This isn't just an observation, its a fact. Go research and tell me that most of the "anti-kid-hitting" legislation hasn't been pushed for and passed by these type of politicians.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: isekii

Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
kid needs a good ass beating.

I agree
He just needs a inch of his life ass beating by a strict uncle or something for raising his hand to his parents.
He'll think twice about doing anything like that again.

that, or he'll come back with a gun and blow them away in retaliation. I think the parents were surprised by the pounding he gave to his mom. Seriously, what else is this guy capable of. I agree that he needs a beating, but how would he retaliate? I don't think it would be a simple case of him cowering to authority and learning his lesson....locking himself in his room and refusing to talk, showing signs of disconnection from others is scary.

I think he'd retaliate in an extreme manner.

 

[WraithETC]

Originally posted by: gamepad
I used to be similar to this kid. I played addicting MMOs through highschool without any care in the world about my future. I would get sorta pissy at any interruptions to my gaming.

I quickly realized how pathetic I was when I got a 2.2 GPA in my first semester of college. I joined the Air force Reserve and am now a pre-med who makes straight A's.

What he needs to do is realize by himself that these video games are a complete waste of time.

Yeah people with no self control have to go cold turkey. I'm glad I don't suffer from that disease.

 

[MegaVovaN]

Kick not only butt, but also smash face and break bones. After bones healed, throw in prison and let Bubba do the work.

 

[zinfamous]

Originally posted by: AMDZen

Originally posted by: manowar821

Originally posted by: AMDZen
So I'm assuming his parents are rich doctors and bought him a $10,000 Alienware computer at 15 yo and a BMW 318i when he turned 16 yo?

Sounds like the parents are about as much a waste of skin as he is, you say they are strict but they obviously weren't very. At this point they are just being dumb for not calling the cops on his a$$. Its sad really, the world has come down to this because of PC liberal hollywood types that think hitting kids is bad. So now you have to call the cops and let the state discipline your kids for you. Thats just the way the world works now I guess, which is unfortunate because a good a$$ kicking would probably do him some good, but then the parent/s would be the ones disciplined by the state

yeah, it's those damn liberals again, alright. dumbass.

Not all of them, just the die hard hollywood types that have no grasp of reality, and have thusly made it a crime to hit your kids. This isn't just an observation, its a fact. Go research and tell me that most of the "anti-kid-hitting" legislation hasn't been pushed for and passed by these type of politicians.

oh yes, it's Hollywood again...ruining American :roll:

care to link these "unbiased facts" based on the "research" that you have clearly done yourself?

fail

 

[RESmonkey]

Is his name "Franz" by any chance ? He sounds like this one Korean I know.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: zinfamous

Originally posted by: AMDZen

Originally posted by: manowar821

Originally posted by: AMDZen
So I'm assuming his parents are rich doctors and bought him a $10,000 Alienware computer at 15 yo and a BMW 318i when he turned 16 yo?

Sounds like the parents are about as much a waste of skin as he is, you say they are strict but they obviously weren't very. At this point they are just being dumb for not calling the cops on his a$$. Its sad really, the world has come down to this because of PC liberal hollywood types that think hitting kids is bad. So now you have to call the cops and let the state discipline your kids for you. Thats just the way the world works now I guess, which is unfortunate because a good a$$ kicking would probably do him some good, but then the parent/s would be the ones disciplined by the state

yeah, it's those damn liberals again, alright. dumbass.

Not all of them, just the die hard hollywood types that have no grasp of reality, and have thusly made it a crime to hit your kids. This isn't just an observation, its a fact. Go research and tell me that most of the "anti-kid-hitting" legislation hasn't been pushed for and passed by these type of politicians.

oh yes, it's Hollywood again...ruining American :roll:

care to link these "unbiased facts" based on the "research" that you have clearly done yourself?

fail

"Hollywood type" is just the way I describe the people I'm referring to, it has nothing to do with Hollywood the town - I apologize if that is so confusing for you, I guess the "Hollywood types" wasn't clear. And yes I've researched it, I see it continue with politicians all the time even today with other moronic crap. You're more then welcome to research it yourself and prove me wrong if you like, I'm not about to waste my time on it. This isn't P&N so get over it.

 

[kranky]

After giving this some thought, my recommendation would be to tell him to move out. No sense trying to change him. I would just calmly say, "I wish I didn't have to do this, but you will have to move out of the house. Violence in our home cannot and will not be tolerated. We love you, but you can't live here any more." If the kid pleads and begs for a second chance, the answer is still no. People like that must understand there is a line which they cannot cross.

That meets all the parents' criteria - no police, prevents another incident, and will wake the kid up to reality.

It's not the best solution, but it's the one which satisfies their requirements.

 

[OutHouse]

i know for a fact that if i ever laid a hand on my mom my dad would have beat the living shit out of me, and i would have been thrown out of the house period. that kind of disrespect needs a hard and fast response.

honestly i think your gf dad is a pussy. the son walkes all over the parents because nothing is going to happen to him. he feels safe so he can and does get away with this kind of crap.

 

[moshquerade]

i would actually be fearing for my life right now if i was astroidea. he'll be over there with his gf, and her parents, and the angry brother will pull out a gun and off all of them.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: kranky
After giving this some thought, my recommendation would be to tell him to move out. No sense trying to change him. I would just calmly say, "I wish I didn't have to do this, but you will have to move out of the house. Violence in our home cannot and will not be tolerated. We love you, but you can't live here any more." If the kid pleads and begs for a second chance, the answer is still no. People like that must understand there is a line which they cannot cross.

That meets all the parents' criteria - no police, prevents another incident, and will wake the kid up to reality.

It's not the best solution, but it's the one which satisfies their requirements.

But the kid is 17 so they will have to go through the process of disowning him, or whatever else they need to do. If they had called the cops when he hit his mom they would of had something to use as leverage as to why they are disowning him. I don't know if its too late now or not, but it would of been a sure thing and now it would probably be months before they could get him out of the house. Unless he is turning 18 soon.

 

[Scarpozzi]

1. Go to Sears
2. Purchase Tire Iron
3. ?????????
4. Profit!!!!

 

[MegaVovaN]

Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
1. Go to Sears
2. Purchase Tire Iron
3. ?????????
4. Profit!!!!

:thumbsup:

Post of the day!

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: Citrix
i know for a fact that if i ever laid a hand on my mom my dad would have beat the living shit out of me, and i would have been thrown out of the house period. that kind of disrespect needs a hard and fast response.

honestly i think your gf dad is a pussy. the son walkes all over the parents because nothing is going to happen to him. he feels safe so he can and does get away with this kind of crap.

I agree with you mostly, however the dad probably never used violence before because of the laws around it. This suprises me even more since asian parents I know have stopped hitting there kids now because of the legislation, and most of them are calling authorities now instead. That makes the dad even more of a pussy since he didn't do that either.

Although after hitting his mom, the dad would of had reason to retaliate and just say he was defending his wife. Before this incident however, the parents probably never hit him and now its too late, at least I think it is. Like someone else said, now he would just retaliate even further. The only option was to call the cops, and if its not too late its still the best option.

 

[MyThirdEye]

Originally posted by: jpeyton
Time to get a job and move out.

I bet the Marines could show that kid a thing or two.

 

[Taejin]

Originally posted by: astroidea
I'll start with a little background on this guy.

He is 17 yrs old, with relatively traditional korean parents(strict, intensely focused on academics). School doesn't seem to be his thing, and he shows very little motivation in taking any kind of personal responsibility.

He spends most of his time playing video games and watching anime. He does attempt to put in effort into easier classes, however he pretty much gives up on the rest of the classes, and thus failing them. He rarely helps out around the house.

His conflict with his parents' academic expectations has led to this uphill battle with his parents for years, and as he progressed through his teens, he has increasingly rebelled his parents' desperate attempts to uphold any sort of standard or discipline on him. In result, the tension and anger between his parents, and especially him, has grown to catastrophic proportions.

He has vented this anger by punching holes in walls, running away from home for a week at a time, smashing my GF's laptop screen, and last night, when he was told to get off the computer at 4AM by his mother, he severely beat her on the face that resulted in a severely bruised and swollen eye, and a large gash on the forehead that required a trip to the emergency room. He then subsequently ran away from home.

The very next day, he returned, and without a word or apology, went up to his room, locked the door, and refused to talk.

His parents does not want to get the law enforcement involved as he is a decent kid otherwise(not on drugs, doesn't lie or cheat, steal, and relatively friendly to most people).
They are, in fact, absolutely shocked that their son is capable of an act of this magnitude.

At this point, they hope to just accomplish two things with their son. First, they hope to prevent another from becoming seriously injured again, especially considering when he has not shown any remorse for his actions as of yet. Secondly, they hope to find a way to get their son to wake up into reality, to start taking charge of his life by ensuring he has a plan to develop his career path, or at least to become independent.

He does not seem like he would appreciate any type of professional help.
His parents also does not entertain the idea of sending him to the military.

What do you guys think are the best options to deal with this situation?

Is there any type of therapy that does not heavily depend on the cooperation of the patient?

He's not your brother. You're not even related to him. I would avoid getting directly involved.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Originally posted by: AMDZen

Originally posted by: Citrix
i know for a fact that if i ever laid a hand on my mom my dad would have beat the living shit out of me, and i would have been thrown out of the house period. that kind of disrespect needs a hard and fast response.

honestly i think your gf dad is a pussy. the son walkes all over the parents because nothing is going to happen to him. he feels safe so he can and does get away with this kind of crap.

I agree with you mostly, however the dad probably never used violence before because of the laws around it. This suprises me even more since asian parents I know have stopped hitting there kids now because of the legislation, and most of them are calling authorities now instead. That makes the dad even more of a pussy since he didn't do that either.

Although after hitting his mom, the dad would of had reason to retaliate and just say he was defending his wife. Before this incident however, the parents probably never hit him and now its too late, at least I think it is. Like someone else said, now he would just retaliate even further. The only option was to call the cops, and if its not too late its still the best option.

Wait, do you know the parents? Maybe, they just are the nonviolent type and it has nothing to do with the law. Or they're smaller than the son. Gosh, your assumptions are pathetic. And no, it's not too late to call the cops.

 

[Baked]

Change the door locks. Pepper spray him if he gets near the house.

 

[AMDZen]

Originally posted by: Capt Caveman

Originally posted by: AMDZen

Originally posted by: Citrix
i know for a fact that if i ever laid a hand on my mom my dad would have beat the living shit out of me, and i would have been thrown out of the house period. that kind of disrespect needs a hard and fast response.

honestly i think your gf dad is a pussy. the son walkes all over the parents because nothing is going to happen to him. he feels safe so he can and does get away with this kind of crap.

I agree with you mostly, however the dad probably never used violence before because of the laws around it. This suprises me even more since asian parents I know have stopped hitting there kids now because of the legislation, and most of them are calling authorities now instead. That makes the dad even more of a pussy since he didn't do that either.

Although after hitting his mom, the dad would of had reason to retaliate and just say he was defending his wife. Before this incident however, the parents probably never hit him and now its too late, at least I think it is. Like someone else said, now he would just retaliate even further. The only option was to call the cops, and if its not too late its still the best option.

Wait, do you know the parents? Maybe, they just are the nonviolent type and it has nothing to do with the law. Or they're smaller than the son. Gosh, your assumptions are pathetic. And no, it's not too late to call the cops.

Assumptions yes, but I don't feel they are pathetic. I did say "probably" and "i think this" to clarify that I am just giving my opinion. If the parents are non-violent then they should of called the cops, and probably needed to do it before now. The fact that the parents haven't done anything leens evidence to some of the assumptions. Just as Citrix said, the dad is a pussy.

 

[ThePresence]

His parents does not want to get the law enforcement involved as he is a decent kid otherwise(not on drugs, doesn't lie or cheat, steal, and relatively friendly to most people).
They are, in fact, absolutely shocked that their son is capable of an act of this magnitude.

He is not a decent kid. Decent kids don't send their mothers to the ER. It doesn't matter that he can be polite and friendly, he's obviously got a short-circuit somewhere. This is as clear a wake up call as there can be. This kid is in need of immediate attention. He's danger to those around him. I know many troubled kids, but not one of them would have beat their mothers. Usually when they got fed up with their parents they moved out. Sure, there are fights all the time, but when it escalates to physical violence it's time to involve law enforcement. I sincerely hope the reason they aren't calling the police isn't because they are afraid of what people will say in the community, etc.