You: hi do you like waffles?
Stranger: how is your mom?
Stranger: i do!
Stranger: how did you know?!?!?
Stranger: mom!?!?!
You: she's doing well, just got done f+cking your sister
Stranger: is that you!?!?!
Stranger: my mom f+cked my sister?
You: no, my mom f+cked yoru sister
You: strap-on action
Stranger: that's kinda sick. i mean, what with the melanomas and all.
You: your sister has the cancer?
Stranger: no! your mom does, dumbass!
Stranger: havent you noticed the growths on her cooch?
You: strange, she didn't tell me
Stranger: well, i noticed the last time i was, you know, down... there.
You: nah, i never look there, i just close my eyes until it's over
Stranger: good plan, dude
You: whatever it takes to get by
Stranger: i hear ya
You: so, do you like bacon?
Stranger: who doesnt?
You: have you ever had waffles with bacon?
Stranger: many times
You: IT'S F+CKING AWESOME!!!!!111
Stranger: you forgot the sauce part
You: sauce?
Stranger: AWESOMESAUCE!!!!11111oneon!1!!!oneone
You: DOOOOOOOOO!!!!1
Stranger: but i agree
You: i fell like, you're like...my brother
Stranger: you ever get pegged by a hooker?
You: and how!
Stranger: nice! did she make you pay extra?
You: i've had the herp and the CLAP somethign feirce
Stranger: or he!
You: both, man
Stranger: i'm not one to judge
You: never cna be certain in this day and age
You: so i just play all fields
Stranger: how big was the peg?
You: about tree fitty
Stranger: 350? jesus, and it didn't rupture your spleen?!?!?
You: nah
Stranger: you have a large anal cavity, apparently.
You: say, Billy, ever seen a distended rectum?
Stranger: props and respect.
You: jsut gotta do...what ya gotta do
You: onto more breakfast foods...how about pancakes?
Stranger: i always do, unless it involves a 350 dildo. then i run.
Stranger: happens more often than you'd think
You: you don't knwo what your'e missing, man
You: ever seen se7en?
Stranger: i'm already missing 3 teeth from my last encounter with a 350
Stranger: i don't plan to do it again
You: good thinking
Stranger: and yes, i've seen 7
You: not as painful as it looks
You: well, unless your'e a hemophiliac
You: ....
Stranger: THAT would suck
You: that could get messy
Stranger: indeed
You: ever had crabs?
Stranger: many times... but never the crotch kind. you?
You: oh yeah, man
You: back in highschool
You: a couple of buddies of mine
You: we'd pull otu our crabs during class and race them across the desks
You: good times
Stranger: who won usually?
You: mine never one, they were some fat bastard crabs
You: won, sorry
Stranger: i wonder is that means that your pubis was too nice for them and they got fat , or if it was ill as a feeding ground
Stranger: and your friends has nicer crotches
Stranger: i don't intend to test to find out. idle wonder.
You: little from column a, little from column b, maybe
You: do you like hamsters?
You: have you ever....you know...?
Stranger: nope, but i once paid my science teacher. that was gerbils, though. not hamsters
You: really?
You: i've been curious
You: never tried ti myself
Stranger: yeah, hamsters are to horizontally challenging. gerbils climb right up there with a little lube.
Stranger: much more aerodynamic
You: yeah, gerbils have the longer tails
Stranger: and with a little lube on them, they have that gordon gecko 80's look... rawr!
You: that's hot
Stranger: tell my rectum about it!
You: yeah, I'm still in recovery...maybe when things heal up down there
Stranger: ok, i'm cutting out for bed... this has been fun.
Stranger: in all seriousness, where you at?
Stranger: i'm in sf, ca
You: no shit?
Stranger: no shit
You: i'm across teh water
Stranger: the mission
Stranger: oakland?
You: nah
You: little north
Stranger: albany?
You: berzerkeley
Stranger: nice.
You: lof of freaks here, man
Stranger: this was a blast.
You: yeah, too fucking wierd for me
You: what the hell
You: lol
Stranger: lots of freaks in the bay area i guess
You: no doubt
Stranger: when i show up to take your balls tomorrow, it has nothing to do with this conversation, mm'kay?
You: no worries, mate
You: i'm eunuch anyway
You: self-castration
Stranger: ciao... you ever meet a pop culture freak in sf named $$$$$, be sure to ask if he had this conversation
You: it's the new thing
You: werd
Your conversational partner has disconnected.