friend of mine might be getting cheated on at work, need advice

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MrPickins

Diamond Member
May 24, 2003
9,125
792
126
Originally posted by: tk109
Wow what a bunch of A-holes in this thread.

You did the right thing buddy. However you happened to come about it. At least you know you helped someone out and did what is right. People you care about matter more than a stupid job anyway.

I hope all you other people have cheating wives that other people know about and are keeping it from you. Would be different if it was the other way around huh?

They aren't married, for chrissakes!
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,600
1,005
126
Originally posted by: tk109
Wow what a bunch of A-holes in this thread.

You did the right thing buddy. However you happened to come about it. At least you know you helped someone out and did what is right. People you care about matter more than a stupid job anyway.

I hope all you other people have cheating wives that other people know about and are keeping it from you. Would be different if it was the other way around huh?

STFU n00b. Just because you don't agree with the majority here doesn't give you the right to call anyone an a-hole. :|
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Originally posted by: MrPickins
They aren't married, for chrissakes!

So... You are of the opinion that cheating is perfectly acceptable so long as the people involved are not married?
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Originally posted by: RadiclDreamer
Originally posted by: tk109
Wow what a bunch of A-holes in this thread.

You did the right thing buddy. However you happened to come about it. At least you know you helped someone out and did what is right. People you care about matter more than a stupid job anyway.

I hope all you other people have cheating wives that other people know about and are keeping it from you. Would be different if it was the other way around huh?

QFT, at least someone has some damn sense around here

How do you know they were in an exclusive relationship after 1 month? And was the language "I want to have sex with you", or was it something more obscure that the OP deciphered for himself? There's no reason to believe that he had a commitment at that point, that it wasn't just flirtation with no intent to follow through, or that he ever attempted to follow through. Two weeks after the last email that the OP snooped through, he might have told the other girl "I can't flirt with you anymore because I'm now in a committed relationship."

The truth is that it could be any situation. You don't know the details... and that's why you stay the hell out of it. The second he realized it was a personal email, he should have closed it.... not finished reading it and starting to make judgements and screwing with people's relationships based on info he never should have seen.
 

CarlKillerMiller

Diamond Member
Jul 14, 2003
3,099
0
0
It might be a control thing for the guy. By introducing her to his family, it makes it harder for her to exit the relationship, which gives him more leeway to fvck around.
 

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
12
81
Originally posted by: RadiclDreamer
Originally posted by: tk109
Wow what a bunch of A-holes in this thread.

You did the right thing buddy. However you happened to come about it. At least you know you helped someone out and did what is right. People you care about matter more than a stupid job anyway.

I hope all you other people have cheating wives that other people know about and are keeping it from you. Would be different if it was the other way around huh?

QFT, at least someone has some damn sense around here

Wanna post the login/pw for your email so we all can go through it?

Who says they were even serious after 1 month? They could just have been casually dating.
 

SilthDraeth

Platinum Member
Oct 28, 2003
2,635
0
71
Thing is, you guys all act like he was snooping. Or he wanted to hook up with her. Why don't you read the story as it is written instead of implying crap. All you blokes that talk about him wanting to hook up etc, sound like that is something you would do. Honestly, I said review his damn company policy, and he doesn't need to tell the whole damned story, just that he was retrieving files, saw something that didn't look right, and saw some ****** that concerned his friend, so he told his friend about it, out of concern.

As a true life example and somewhat similar situation. I went to school with this really hot chick, yeah I kind of had a crush on her, but I was shy, etc, only spoke with her in class sometimes. While I was at a job interview, that was sort of a group interview, I happened to meet her BF, who was there for the same interview, so I was like hey, "my friend" mentioned you whats up. While the Employer was gone for a bit, he started ranting off about how my friend was "dumb as a board, and he how she wouldn't put out, he just wanted to get laid by her" I was hardly friends at all with this girl, but.

I sent her an email, since I had her on msn, and just quoted the other guy, and let her know that I was sorry, and I hope she didnt read more into it, and no I wasnt trying to get on her good side, or get with her. I just felt it was wrong.

Needless to say the chick got pissed at me, I didn't try and defend myself, and like a month later she apologized, and told me how she had noticed some things, and said thank you for telling me, all my friends agreed with what you said, after I dumped him, but you told me before, knowing that I might not believe you or never talk to you again.

Doing what feels right on the inside, isn't always doing what public perception believes is right. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes it doesn't, and often you walk alone.
 

Ilmater

Diamond Member
Jun 13, 2002
7,516
1
0
Originally posted by: Wapp
"you should probably be fired too"

"you have abused your client IT admin relationship."

"In the future, mind your own damn business?"

"You kinda have a crush on this girl huh? "

:thumbsup:
Thanks for the summary... I would have been too lazy to do that.
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
5
61
Originally posted by: pulse8
Originally posted by: sixone
You may have saved her from a venereal disease

Huh? While that's a possibility, you know NOTHING of this guy's sexual practices. Just because a guy cheats on his "girlfriend" doesn't mean that he's unsafe when he does it.

The guy also got involved with a co-worker, got fired from his job, and was stupid enough to use his WORK email for personal stuff that he shouldn't have been doing in the first place. This jerk is ALL about risk, and venereal disease is just one little part of it.
 

Mark

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,486
3
76
hey guys, thanks to all of you for your input. what were required to do is is whenever someone quits the company, its protocol here to export thier mail into a pst and put it on our archive server. in the past, weve had several instances where we completly deleted the users account without saving anything. later on we would having managing partners at times on our asses for not saving anything(particulary contacts for our sales guys). more often then not they wont need anything from the mailbox but sometimes they do. its just a cya initiative we take.


the truth is i really dont give a rats ass about this job and im looking for work somewhere else anyway, and if the guy does end up finding out and coming after me, then LET HIM. like im supposed to feel guilty about HIM cheating on HIS girl? but what was i supposed to do, she had the option of moving in with her best friend or him. the last thing i want is for her to move in with him and get settled, then want to move out a month later after he gets caught. when that happens her friend is already living somewhere else and has no where to go. or worse and gets pregnant.
 

sixone

Lifer
May 3, 2004
25,030
5
61
Originally posted by: Mark
the truth is i really dont give a rats ass about this job and im looking for work somewhere else anyway, and if the guy does end up finding out and coming after me, then LET HIM. like im supposed to feel guilty about HIM cheating on HIS girl? but what was i supposed to do, she had the option of moving in with her best friend or him. the last thing i want is for her to move in with him and get settled, then want to move out a month later after he gets caught. when that happens her friend is already living somewhere else and has no where to go. or worse and gets pregnant.

:thumbsup:

I think you did the right thing. If I was her, I'd be grateful to have you in my corner.
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,528
3
76
Originally posted by: BoberFett
In the future, mind your own damn business?

Hell yeah! I'm an Exchange Admin at work; I sometimes have to go into people's boxes to get things. I don't nose around while I'm in there. If I am told "find an email that says "Sales Figures 3rd Quarter" and grab the .XLS that's on it" that's what I do and I get out.

The less I know, the better.

Mind your business; other people's personal lives are not yours! :p The "Ohh-Ahh!" effect of being able to read people's emails wore off on me a long time ago.
 

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Originally posted by: Mark
hey guys, thanks to all of you for your input. what were required to do is is whenever someone quits the company, its protocol here to export thier mail into a pst and put it on our archive server. in the past, weve had several instances where we completly deleted the users account without saving anything. later on we would having managing partners at times on our asses for not saving anything(particulary contacts for our sales guys). more often then not they wont need anything from the mailbox but sometimes they do. its just a cya initiative we take.


the truth is i really dont give a rats ass about this job and im looking for work somewhere else anyway, and if the guy does end up finding out and coming after me, then LET HIM. like im supposed to feel guilty about HIM cheating on HIS girl? but what was i supposed to do, she had the option of moving in with her best friend or him. the last thing i want is for her to move in with him and get settled, then want to move out a month later after he gets caught. when that happens her friend is already living somewhere else and has no where to go. or worse and gets pregnant.

I didn't realize that you had to read each piece of mail in order to export it to a pst. Is that with the new version?
 

MrPickins

Diamond Member
May 24, 2003
9,125
792
126
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: MrPickins
They aren't married, for chrissakes!

So... You are of the opinion that cheating is perfectly acceptable so long as the people involved are not married?

Thanks for putting words into my mouth. :roll:

What I was implying is that cheating on a spouse is much worse than cheating on someone you have been dating 1 month.
The post I quoted made a direct correlation betweeen the two situations.

Originally posted by: yowolabi

How do you know they were in an exclusive relationship after 1 month? And was the language "I want to have sex with you", or was it something more obscure that the OP deciphered for himself? There's no reason to believe that he had a commitment at that point, that it wasn't just flirtation with no intent to follow through, or that he ever attempted to follow through. Two weeks after the last email that the OP snooped through, he might have told the other girl "I can't flirt with you anymore because I'm now in a committed relationship."

The truth is that it could be any situation. You don't know the details... and that's why you stay the hell out of it. The second he realized it was a personal email, he should have closed it.... not finished reading it and starting to make judgements and screwing with people's relationships based on info he never should have seen.

My sentiments exactly.
 

crystal

Platinum Member
Nov 5, 1999
2,424
0
76
Originally posted by: yowolabi
Originally posted by: Mark
hey guys, thanks to all of you for your input. what were required to do is is whenever someone quits the company, its protocol here to export thier mail into a pst and put it on our archive server. in the past, weve had several instances where we completly deleted the users account without saving anything. later on we would having managing partners at times on our asses for not saving anything(particulary contacts for our sales guys). more often then not they wont need anything from the mailbox but sometimes they do. its just a cya initiative we take.


the truth is i really dont give a rats ass about this job and im looking for work somewhere else anyway, and if the guy does end up finding out and coming after me, then LET HIM. like im supposed to feel guilty about HIM cheating on HIS girl? but what was i supposed to do, she had the option of moving in with her best friend or him. the last thing i want is for her to move in with him and get settled, then want to move out a month later after he gets caught. when that happens her friend is already living somewhere else and has no where to go. or worse and gets pregnant.

I didn't realize that you had to read each piece of mail in order to export it to a pst. Is that with the new version?

Didn't you realize the new version IAmASnitch just came out that requires you to do this?
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,600
1,005
126
Originally posted by: Mark
hey guys, thanks to all of you for your input. what were required to do is is whenever someone quits the company, its protocol here to export thier mail into a pst and put it on our archive server. in the past, weve had several instances where we completly deleted the users account without saving anything. later on we would having managing partners at times on our asses for not saving anything(particulary contacts for our sales guys). more often then not they wont need anything from the mailbox but sometimes they do. its just a cya initiative we take.


the truth is i really dont give a rats ass about this job and im looking for work somewhere else anyway, and if the guy does end up finding out and coming after me, then LET HIM. like im supposed to feel guilty about HIM cheating on HIS girl? but what was i supposed to do, she had the option of moving in with her best friend or him. the last thing i want is for her to move in with him and get settled, then want to move out a month later after he gets caught. when that happens her friend is already living somewhere else and has no where to go. or worse and gets pregnant.

Again, not your problem. If she's too blind to see that this guy is a jerk then it's her own damned fault.
 

classy

Lifer
Oct 12, 1999
15,219
1
81
I hope you get fired. You don't have the right to read someone else's email and then tell someone else about it, unless that person is a higher up and the person's email is being investigated. Your a class A idiot. I hope a boss of yours sees this thread.
 

Splork

Senior member
Oct 9, 1999
992
0
76
Originally posted by: BoberFett
In the future, mind your own damn business?

Agreed. You should be fired for revealing personal e-mails to another co-worker.

-sp
 

theGlove

Senior member
Jan 13, 2005
884
0
0
Originally posted by: Mark
its easy to say mind your own business, but when a person you consider a good friend is talking about moving in with the guy and having a baby with him, its a different story.

something tells me you want to save her for yourself?