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Found out my sister was dating a POS
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nick1985
Lifer
Originally posted by: alkemyst
1. 16 is a baby? not too long ago people were moving out and getting married at 18.
2. How do you know she doesn't like sleeping around too? There are LOTS of girls like this now....they just don't usually brag about it.
3. OP made it difficult now even if she doesn't want to date him....anytime she comes or goes she will get the shakedown.
4. Also if family didn't interfere, imagine how unstressed your life would be
I am willing to bet those that are saying Nick was right aren't having much sex and/or hoping one of the 3 women here on ATOT commends them for 'watching out for the girls'....
you dont know what your talking about.
Originally posted by: alkemyst
1. 16 is a baby? not too long ago people were moving out and getting married at 18.
2. How do you know she doesn't like sleeping around too? There are LOTS of girls like this now....they just don't usually brag about it.
3. OP made it difficult now even if she doesn't want to date him....anytime she comes or goes she will get the shakedown.
4. Also if family didn't interfere, imagine how unstressed your life would be
I am willing to bet those that are saying Nick was right aren't having much sex and/or hoping one of the 3 women here on ATOT commends them for 'watching out for the girls'....
ill take you up on that bet, as im 29, married, with 2 children. i would bet that the ones saying butt out are the ones who think they have the world all figured out, have no siblings, have siblings but are just too selfish to give a sh!t, or troll for teenage girls...
1. yes. 16 is a baby. do you know any 16yo that are mature enough handle life on their own?very very few. some 32yo still act like children. just because you get some hair and can spread your legs doesnt mean you are prepared to handle the consequences such as pregnancy, or this guy running around bragging about how easy she was, etc. etc. EDIT: not too long ago, people were getting married at 14. i guess thats cool with you too?
2. the same as you know. i dont. but, i think if this girl was a slut, her brother would have heard that by now since he still has contacts that go to school with her.
3. good. it means she has a family that cares for her, as we should all be so lucky to have. besides, its the parents job to be involved with her life. im sure if she ends up knocked up or diseased, youll be the first one to post its the parents fault for not being involved in her life.
4. imagine if everyones family had the attitude "its none of my business, why should i give a sh!t". half of us probably wouldnt even be here. would you let your sister date someone you know is a scumbag?
nick1985
Lifer
Originally posted by: shimsham
Originally posted by: alkemyst
1. 16 is a baby? not too long ago people were moving out and getting married at 18.
2. How do you know she doesn't like sleeping around too? There are LOTS of girls like this now....they just don't usually brag about it.
3. OP made it difficult now even if she doesn't want to date him....anytime she comes or goes she will get the shakedown.
4. Also if family didn't interfere, imagine how unstressed your life would be
I am willing to bet those that are saying Nick was right aren't having much sex and/or hoping one of the 3 women here on ATOT commends them for 'watching out for the girls'....
ill take you up on that bet, as im 29, married, with 2 children. i would bet that the ones saying butt out are the ones who think they have the world all figured out, have no siblings, have siblings but are just too selfish to give a sh!t, or troll for teenage girls...
1. yes. 16 is a baby. do you know any 16yo that are mature enough handle life on their own?very very few. some 32yo still act like children. just because you get some hair and can spread your legs doesnt mean you are prepared to handle the consequences such as pregnancy, or this guy running around bragging about how easy she was, etc. etc. EDIT: not too long ago, people were getting married at 14. i guess thats cool with you too?
2. the same as you know. i dont. but, i think if this girl was a slut, her brother would have heard that by now since he still has contacts that go to school with her.
3. good. it means she has a family that cares for her, as we should all be so lucky to have. besides, its the parents job to be involved with her life. im sure if she ends up knocked up or diseased, youll be the first one to post its the parents fault for not being involved in her life.
4. imagine if everyones family had the attitude "its none of my business, why should i give a sh!t". half of us probably wouldnt even be here. would you let your sister date someone you know is a scumbag?
true dat
alkemyst
No Lifer
1. 16 is not a baby, I met my first wife when she was 16 and I was not her 'first' guy, all we did the first year was have sex, I don't think we left either of our rooms all summer while everyone was working. We got married when she was 18 and it lasted until she broke her neck...then she got sort of insane for lack of a better word. Our parents were getting married at 18yo, most of the 25yo+ around here probably have parents that had their first kids at 21-22yo. The reason 16 year olds are getting percieved as infants is due to parents over sheltering and spoon feeding them.
When I went back to college at 29, there were 20 year olds parent's doing their schedules...those same kids would be hooking up left and right to. The girls were just as crazy as I was, so that was cool.
2. I know and slept with a ton of girls that were thought to be virgins, they knew I'd keep my mouth shut about it....this is the same way I was sleeping around at the bank I worked for...a couple times I did get 'caught' (main way was someone passing someone else's house with my car parked overnight at it), but for the most part no one knew about the affairs and these were grown women who would have nothing to hide from their families.
3. Getting knocked up? Diseases? WTF! this can happen at any age. With my ex wife she did get pregnant, but the pregnacy ended early and naturally (3 months)...like I said though we were having sex 5-6 times a day sometimes more...that's all we did (and go to the clubs and beach)....I didn't use protection sometimes (anyone that says otherwise is not dating a whole lot sexually), but she got pregnant only once. My ex fiancee got pregnant but I think that one wasn't mine, we were having a ton of problems at the time and both seeing other people as well as still sleeping together.
I don't know where you live but I know 16 right now is the age girls have already had one regular sex buddy down. There is nothing wrong with girls having sex, nothing wrong with sex...it doesn't have to and should exist outside of marriage...the whole sex and being married is really a double standard created long ago....guys would play the field and women would have to 'wait'....the problem is who were the guys sleeping with ??? well I guess that's why there was culkoldry and all that.
4. Being a scumbag and a guy that likes and wants sex are two different things, one is bad and one is natural.
DaviDaVinci
Golden Member
:beer:
I don't agree about the parents thing. I would never involved parents so soon.
Also, He did say she HAS HAD bf's before. So I wouldn't say he's cockblocking.
He knows this guy personally and believes that he's a no good sob. If he doesn't look out for her then WHO WILL?
The ones telling him to mind his own business are the same wankers that spank their monkeys to donkey porn all day long. I'd go as far as making sure that my best friends sister wasn't dating some scumbag. But of course, I'd talk to her brother first then her and would not involve the parents. If she still decides to date the fella then i'd make sure he knows not to use her or else....
And some 17 yr olds don't know better, that's why the older folks have to intervene sometimes.
BullsOnParade
Golden Member
You have to let you sister make choices for her self and develop as a person, sexually, emotionally, physically
you have to trust her instincts but yet be there for her when she needs you. Guarding her from sex is one thing
but mandating that she not have sex is another. While you might think you're looking out for her, you are also
imposing on her, your ideas of sex and life, you need to be aware of the impact you have on her as a person and sibling and
perhaps someone she looks up to. You're over protectiveness may even harm her confidence in making her own
decisions in the long run. Granted i side with you on stomping this s#!tbag's nut satchel into the ground, you need
to want your sister to be comfortable with the decisions she makes in life. She can't look to you for an out all the
time.
Another thing is it sounds like you come from a pretty conservative home in regards to openness and attitudes
towards sex. I can't imagine feel dirty and scuzzy about such an awesome thing, so i'm pretty wary of chastity
thumpers cuz i view it as damaging, so take that as well for what its worth.
dM
you have to trust her instincts but yet be there for her when she needs you. Guarding her from sex is one thing
but mandating that she not have sex is another. While you might think you're looking out for her, you are also
imposing on her, your ideas of sex and life, you need to be aware of the impact you have on her as a person and sibling and
perhaps someone she looks up to. You're over protectiveness may even harm her confidence in making her own
decisions in the long run. Granted i side with you on stomping this s#!tbag's nut satchel into the ground, you need
to want your sister to be comfortable with the decisions she makes in life. She can't look to you for an out all the
time.
Another thing is it sounds like you come from a pretty conservative home in regards to openness and attitudes
towards sex. I can't imagine feel dirty and scuzzy about such an awesome thing, so i'm pretty wary of chastity
thumpers cuz i view it as damaging, so take that as well for what its worth.
dM
LMAO! Alkemyst, as usual, you're washing your dirty linen in public. This is beyond me. You do realise that by doing so you're subjecting your personal life to deconstruction and possibly personal attacks, right? I'll save you the possible consequence here.
Nick1985, you did a good job, provided your motive was not envy or malice. If you honestly and with legitimitate reason were concerned about the welfare of your sister, then good job. Hold on to your beliefs. The only problem you have is resorting to personal attacks. Hope you can work on your skills with persuasion, so you don't feel the need to attack people.
I do agree with some members though: Perhaps it would have been wiser to speak to your sister first, in spite of the fact that you heard it from someone else. Then hear her response. You don't want to come off as too aggressive, lest she stubbornly rebels. If she tried defending the guy, then it means trouble and she's like the typical naive teenage girl . . . oh yeah, he loves me, promises me the world . . . yep. In that case, then telling your parents would be a legitimate action.
Some say she will now begin hiding her relationship. Again, if she reacts that way to her family's intervention, then there goes to prove the reason why it's reasonable to intervene. She would not behave any differently if her family said nothing or supported her choice, as she would read that as an endorsement.
Some people are also arguing that she should be allowed to make her mistakes. Yeah, I'm sure she would be the only one responsible for any consequences such as diseases, pregnancy or the absence of the supposed fathers.
If she should be allowed to make mistakes, part of mistakes is making irrational decisions. Yes, we all should be allowed to make some mistakes in life and learn from them, but different mistakes have different consequences. There are too many risks to subject a minor to. There's a reason her parents are still legally in charge of her life. It wouldn't be the case if she were assumed to have the level of maturity required.
Nick1985, you did a good job, provided your motive was not envy or malice. If you honestly and with legitimitate reason were concerned about the welfare of your sister, then good job. Hold on to your beliefs. The only problem you have is resorting to personal attacks. Hope you can work on your skills with persuasion, so you don't feel the need to attack people.
I do agree with some members though: Perhaps it would have been wiser to speak to your sister first, in spite of the fact that you heard it from someone else. Then hear her response. You don't want to come off as too aggressive, lest she stubbornly rebels. If she tried defending the guy, then it means trouble and she's like the typical naive teenage girl . . . oh yeah, he loves me, promises me the world . . . yep. In that case, then telling your parents would be a legitimate action.
Some say she will now begin hiding her relationship. Again, if she reacts that way to her family's intervention, then there goes to prove the reason why it's reasonable to intervene. She would not behave any differently if her family said nothing or supported her choice, as she would read that as an endorsement.
Some people are also arguing that she should be allowed to make her mistakes. Yeah, I'm sure she would be the only one responsible for any consequences such as diseases, pregnancy or the absence of the supposed fathers.
MainFramed
Diamond Member
good man
alkemyst
No Lifer
You assume I have a problem with that. I have no problem admitting to the mistakes I made in life and do not try to claim I am better than anyone like others do. Unlike you who has not one picture of herself with a face, but still finds the need to password protect viewing her headless pictures.....but yeah it's obvious you live in fear.
I don't hide from life and I don't lie about my accomplishments or failures, I share them freely.
It sometimes bites you in the rear one time someone came looking for me at work (got the wrong guy with my same name).
Also one time 10 or so guys knocked on my door when I wasn't home, but I was called about it and had time to solve it.
I don't club anymore and mix with the wrong types of crowds at the clubs, I sort of dropped out of life for a while and let people forget about me. Since then my life sort of became more normal. I am sure there are a few people I don't want to run into if I was alone...fortunately I remember faces a lot better than other people.
alkemyst
No Lifer
hmmm the girl in question is 16...education is perhaps the only thing that she'd be concerned with, and even that .... it's high school....I hardly did anything in high school academic....
but since you are asking about me...
Education let's see....1) Bachelor of Computer Science 2000, 2) about 160 hours of Biology, Chemistry and Zoology back up to 1995, I was accepted without my A.A. degree even prior to this into Pharmacy at University of Florida....prior I had interviewed with M.I.T. and Georgia Tech for engineering which during the summer prior to picking a school interned and hated it (mechanical/civil engineering mostly for HVAC and fire sprinkler and water flow....I did the designs for a wing of a popular college in my area as well as a geriatric center (multiple floors, about 10 I think)...my designs had only a couple revisions which were not 'problems', but different than the engineer I reported to did and he had to be the one to sign off on.
Career: quit #2 with 2 classes left for my Bachelors which could have been either Chemisty or Bio....started working in the banking business again (which I started doing at 12 for my father and later on larger banks)....bought a house on the water that same year, nice 3/2 with 2 car garage, swimming pool, 1/2 acre of property in a nice Polo community. I was 23 years old at that time, oh my down payment was $40,000....I also took another $40k and bought house stuff, home theatre, and a down payment on a car for my wife.
success is relative...I don't care about success as much as just feeling comfortable with my life which is why I left the bank to go back to school for my Comp Sci degree.
I do have issues, everyone has issues...I don't pretend I am perfect. Sex is a big driving force for me, I don't need tons of women, I am happy with my wife....but it's something I like and want, same way I like cars, working out and boating...there is no difference to me, now love is different and trust is different....I don't cheat on my wife because we have trust I wouldn't....I love her not because of the sex but because she is on my side and looks out for me.
I don't put a stigma on sex, I don't think it really has anything do with love (although it can)....people usually put this weight on it that either that have not had many partners or those that get easily jealous. I was once jealous, I was once clueless to how relationships worked...but put it this way most of my exes do not hate me although I left them...I did it civilly (most of the time) and respectfully, they hated me for a while and then it blew over.
The problem with the forums is people blindly respond, then another person blindly responds thinking the first person wasn't blindly responding, and then you get the sheep that jump on the bandwagon and do the 'me too' and empty message quoting. I have an aggressive personality so I respond back, there is no embarrassment for me, no sense of upset or anger, just I respond to questions that are asked or incorrect statements that are made....I love the people that keep responding to me and ask why do I keep responding (hypocracy is rampant here and elsewhere).
Yet again here I am clarifying a statement that was made blindly about my education and career...my current career is semi nice in the fact that I work from home and have a loose schedule to keep...in return I don't get benefits (not a big deal I learned to pay for my own) and my pay isn't as high as it's been...either way I live comfortably enough to pay for a $1000 lawyer bill, join a gym, and yearly passes for my wife and I to Disney last month without touching savings or changing my spending...this only said to combat the next blind statement where people think that because I work at home I get 3 figure paychecks.
DaviDaVinci
Golden Member
I am willing to bet those that are saying Nick was right aren't having much sex and/or hoping one of the 3 women here on ATOT commends them for 'watching out for the girls'....
What If I say that his intentions were but not his actions?
BeauJangles
Lifer
I don't have a sibling, so take my comments with a grain of salt. I understand your desire to protect your sister but, at the same time, it isn't your place to make her decisions for her. Trying to balance those desires I'm sure is difficult, but just remember, you can't protect her forever.
OMG NO WAY A GUY WHO ONLY WANTS SEX!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?
Girls never want sex though. They are angelic in everyway.
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