Finding closure with a bully high school teacher

[soulcougher73]

<serious thread>

This may sound trivial, but a certain public high school teacher has been on my mind for the past 27+ years. The guy was a coach and biology teacher. He used his teacher status to promote his religious and personal beliefs.

Example 1 - he once showed a video about abortion. The video was rather disgusting as it showed a fetus being torn apart into little pieces. I decided not to watch the video, put my head on my desk and took a nap.

When the video was over and the lights came on, the teacher told me I got a zero for sleeping through the video.

My thoughts on the video then and now, I should not be forcibly subjected to someones religious beliefs. Since I could not walk out of the class taking a nap was my way of opting out. To be forced to sit and listen to someone spew their religious beliefs was not acceptable to me then or now.

The video was not shown as part of the biology class, it was him trying to promote his christian anti-abortion agenda. He made that very clear when he was talking to the class.

Example 2 - this was harmful and still hurts my feelings 27+ years later, I overheard the teacher telling a buddy of mine he needed to stay away from me. My buddy and I were friends outside school, and are still friends to this day. I am 45 years old, he is 44 and we still go camping and fishing together.

Last weekend I found the teachers email address posted on a church website. I sent him an email asking if he is the same guy and he said yes.

Before I send the guy an email telling him how much of an asshole he was and getting closure, I thought I would ask advice here.

Let this go, or send the teacher a venom filled email telling him exactly how I feel?

Why are you upset he promoted what you believe in? You are a Christian as well from previous posts of yours/.

 

[Texashiker]

You are a very irrational human being.

I thought I was being rational by posting reasons not to use violence.

Why are you upset he promoted what you believe in? You are a Christian as well from previous posts of yours/.

This teacher punished students who did not share his beliefs.

 

[soulcougher73]

This teacher punished students who did not share his beliefs.

So you as a Christian are ok with abortion? Im confused. You should be sharing his views. Im sure youve expressed these same views in other threads.

Or was the teacher promoting abortion as a good thing? Maybe im not following from the OP.

 

[Nintendesert]

If he was Christian he wouldn't be desiring to harm another human being all the time.

 

[Texashiker]

So you as a Christian are ok with abortion? Im confused. You should be sharing his views. Im sure youve expressed these same views in other threads.

No, I am not ok with abortion. As far as I am concerned it is legalized murder.

But that does not mean I either have to watch a video on abortion or get a zero.

The teacher used his position of authority on teenagers who had no other choice.

 

[soulcougher73]

Well you did say it was a biology class so it does fit somewhat. Now if this was Algebra i could see an issue.

 

[Texashiker]

Well you did say it was a biology class so it does fit somewhat.

The very first day of class the teacher said, since Texas had a law saying creation and evolution both had to be taught, or neither could be taught. The teacher opted for neither to avoid conflicting with his religious beliefs.

 

[edro]

Speak your mind, but he might get joy knowing that his lesson "reached" you.

 

[PowerEngineer]

As others have suggested, enough water should have passed under your bridge in 27 years to make this incident fade in importance. Don't you have more productive places to invest your time and energy?

You might also consider how much the teacher has likely changed over the same 27 years. Would he now really be the person from your past that you wanted to read your e-mail?

Perhaps the both of you are long past the "statute of limitations" on this kind of thing.

 

[destrekor]

The video is what should be played to everybody regardless of their personal beliefs. Abortion clinics should be required to play them before the woman says "Lets move forward with it." I think if people knew what abortion was, then they are less likely to use the procedure.

I have viewed abortion videos and they made me think the practice was despicable, and it has nothing to do with my religious beliefs. I've been pro-life through my religious and non religious times of my life mainly because of that video.

That said, get over it. There is nothing wrong with the teacher.

I had my chemistry teacher tell me once that I was a waste of skin. This was during the time period when he quit smoking after 30 years. He was a cool teacher before he quit, and an irritable and miserable soul after he quit, like many people who quit nicotine. I'm 37 now, and I still remember him telling me that, and it bothered me then. I realized now that he probably regret what he said to me that day, even if he didn't apologize. I'm ok with it. I've been called worse.

Sometimes that's the high school approach, more importantly, the honest critical opinion and discussion between two adults (or an adult and a young adult).
It can be harsh hearing "you're an idiot", "you're a waste of skin", "why don't you just drop out already", etc. Take these statements as hard nuggets of truth, and also as challenges, and accept said challenges.

I think it's important for people to hear what they NEED to hear, when it can be delivered at an appropriate time.
It wakes them up, makes them realize people are paying attention and, if the subject is mature enough and has even a shred of intelligence, should let them know that people actually care about their future. It may not happen right away, but as people become adults, perhaps being told they did help shape them and point them in the correct direction. At some point, if they turned out alright, they'll probably realize maybe they did hear what they really needed to hear at that point in time forever ago. Most teachers want to see students steered in the right direction, they don't want to see wasted youths and ruined lives. Most teach because they find it's important to help raise and groom the next generations.

I'm of the type, however, that thoroughly believes this PC, soft-hearted world has made us weak and unable to deal with the harsher reality. And it has made everyone fear repercussions for trying to have an impact on someone's life unless it's a nice and softie approach.

 

[bas1c]

I thought I was being rational by posting reasons not to use violence.




This teacher punished students who did not share his beliefs.

It's irrational because the violent actions you would commit, if you could, are not proportional to the the claimed offenses. All he did was give you a 0 for a grade...big deal. Should he have preached to you? Probably not...but you are being overly dramatic. I dunno if there were more instances of "bullying" but it sounds to me like you are overly sensitive and probably have a tendency of putting yourself in a "I am a victim" state of mind.

 

[soulcougher73]

The very first day of class the teacher said, since Texas had a law saying creation and evolution both had to be taught, or neither could be taught. The teacher opted for neither to avoid conflicting with his religious beliefs.

Sounds like the teacher should have taught at a private religious school where he could teach his religion. In fact he should just become a preacher instead of a teacher.

 

[soulcougher73]

It's irrational because the violent actions you would commit, if you could, are not proportional to the the claimed offenses. All he did was give you a 0 for a grade...big deal. Should he have preached to you? Probably not...but you are being overly dramatic. I dunno if there were more instances of "bullying" but it sounds to me like you are overly sensitive and probably have a tendency of putting yourself in a "I am a victim" state of mind.

Well he is a Chrisitian. They seem to feel that way in this country even though they are the huge majority and dominate pretty much everything that takes place in this country.

 

[bas1c]

Well he is a Chrisitian. They seem to feel that way in this country even though they are the huge majority and dominate pretty much everything that takes place in this country.

I don't think this has anything to do with the religious beliefs of the OP dictating his mental makeup. I think he's just weak-minded, period.

 

[soulcougher73]

I don't think this has anything to do with the religious beliefs of the OP dictating his mental makeup. I think he's just weak-minded, period.

Which is why he is religious? :whiste:

I honestly think we dont have all the peices of the story. It seems somewhat all over the place. Plus 27 years seems a long time to harbor hatred over something as trivial as this.

 

[Texashiker]

I think he's just weak-minded, period.

Care to explain that statement?

 

[poofyhairguy]

Maybe pay for him a subscription to some hardcore p**n magazines. Then have the magazines mailed to the church where his email address is at?

There ya go! Non-violent is always better.

I mean, your idea is a little weak (the 21st century version of ordering pizza to someone else's house). Plus as pointed out you waste money with your plan.

If you really want to ruin the guy without spending a dime, post his information to the men seeking men classifieds on Craigslist and put the church phone # as the contact number.

If money is going to be spent, charity or therapy are both better options.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Maybe pay for him a subscription to some hardcore p**n magazines. Then have the magazines mailed to the church where his email address is at?

Also sign his email address up for gay porn sites. Please report back with results.

 

[bas1c]

Care to explain that statement?

A zero on an assignment. Fast forward 27 years later.
-Still not over it.
-Want to send an email to a teacher, that probably doesn't remember nor care, to what passive aggressive ends?
-Having to find reasons and justifications for not committing violent acts against the teacher for what seems like a trivial matter.
-If this truly scarred you to this degree why not confront him in person?

 

[JM Aggie08]

In all seriousness, you make need to speak to someone, other than internet strangers, regarding this.

 

[poofyhairguy]

In all seriousness, you make need to speak to someone, other than internet strangers, regarding this.

The real answer.

 

[Texashiker]

Also sign his email address up for gay porn sites. Please report back with results.

I like that idea.

A zero on an assignment. Fast forward 27 years later.
-Still not over it.
-Want to send an email to a teacher, that probably doesn't remember nor care, to what passive aggressive ends?
-Having to find reasons and justifications for not committing violent acts against the teacher for what seems like a trivial matter.
-If this truly scarred you to this degree why not confront him in person?

You get a zero on reading comprehension.

This is not just about a zero grade on some video.

 

[bas1c]

I like that idea.




You get a zero on reading comprehension.

This is not just about a zero grade on some video.

You kept mentioning the "punishment" for going to sleep during the video. So other than trying to force you into watching the video the only other thing he did was tell your friend to not be friends with you. He remained friends with you and you guys still go fishing sometimes...so who cares? If just those things are worth you classifying this guy as a bully that left you with scars...i'd say it's an overreaction and you've had an easy life. I'm not disagreeing what the teacher did, in terms of trying to force his religious views on you, was wrong. But, based upon the two incidents you cited...it seems like he was a dick but I don't see why you would still be so scarred to this day.

 

[monkeydelmagico]

Dear Mr. Teacher,

I remember you! Boy howdy did you suck as a teacher. Of all the teachers I had you were definitely the worst. I'm really glad that none of the dumb stuff you taught I listened to.

Just thought you'd like some feedback and how about a friend request on facebook?

Sincerely,

Your student

 

[sixone]

This teacher punished students who did not share his beliefs.

And you said you wanted to go to his house and beat the crap out of him...why?

Because you want to punish someone who does not share YOUR beliefs.

Does that seem right to you?