Finding closure with a bully high school teacher

[olds]

It only bothers me when people say hurtful things to me if I respect that person. If I don't, I automatically just dismiss what they say as the ravings of an idiot. I assign no value to them so their words have no value.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

 

[Ruptga]

Uh, yeah I'm suspicious as well. But in case this is real, and for the benefit of anyone else that finds the thread, I would recommend some professional counseling before doing anything else. Nobody should be burdened by what happened 25 years ago. Besides, if you try to tell him off while you're emotional it will probably be incoherent and useless. Wait until you can approach with a clear head so you can succinctly tell him where to shove his attitude.

 

[AViking]

Is there any chance that you are not telling us the full story? 27 years is such a long time that it almost gives me the impression that you were sexually abused by him and are neglecting to mention that.

Either way you should see a counselor. Get this of your chest. A professional will have methods for you to deal with this, come to closure, and move on with your life.

 

[Texashiker]

27 years is such a long time that it almost gives me the impression that you were sexually abused by him and are neglecting to mention that.

No, nothing like that happened.

 

[aaksheytalwar]

No professional can help with the mind. People who recommend shrinks usually don't have any experience with them themselves. Medicines can help with depression. That is it. No other psychologist counseling does any good.

 

[Gunslinger08]

I think it's helpful to realize that holding onto anger or a grudge doesn't help anybody. I did this a lot in my younger years. The pent up anger only brings you down and does nothing to improve the situation. You need to find a way to let it go, especially after 27 years. Yelling at this guy over the Internet isn't going to make you feel better for very long and you are likely to end up in further discussions with him that may not go the way you want. Just let it go.

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Send the angry email and report back here plox. Don't listen to everyone telling you to let it go, they don't know what they are talking about.

 

[AViking]

No professional can help with the mind. People who recommend shrinks usually don't have any experience with them themselves. Medicines can help with depression. That is it. No other psychologist counseling does any good.

Thank you Tom Cruise. When is your next movie coming out?

 

[lightpants]

No, nothing like that happened.

So you are harboring a grudge for this long because he showed a video, then gave you a zero because you put your head on your desk and didn't watch it?
You need to let it go.

 

[AViking]

No, nothing like that happened.

Are you autistic? That could explain some of this as well.

 

[disappoint]

This is a much better troll thread than Texastard's usual schtick.

I still think you're trying to trick me.

Uh, yeah I'm suspicious as well...

Troll paranoia. It's a known condition along with broken sarcasm meter syndrome, math and science illiteritis just to name a few. There is no cure, nor pill you can take for these. The only treatment options available are growing up, gaining life experience or getting educated, depending on which condition you have.

Talk to your doctor to see if these treatment options are right for you. Side effects include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, upset stomach, difficulty swallowing, impaired speech or motor skills, coma or even death.

 

[sixone]

What's your goal here, OP? Making him feel bad? Making yourself feel better?

If you want to make him feel bad, write the email and send it. But be prepared for him to retaliate in kind.

If you want to make yourself feel better, write the email but don't send it. Then go do something kind for someone else. Don't waste another minute thinking about people who don't deserve your time.

 

[smackababy]

27 years later, still butthurt. I think the teacher did his job.

 

[Ruptga]

Troll paranoia. It's a known condition along with broken sarcasm meter syndrome, math and science illiteritis just to name a few. There is no cure, or pill you can take for these. The only treatment options available are growing up, gaining life experience or getting educated, depending on which condition you have.

Oh sorry, you're right. I didn't realize there was going to be a badass in this thread; I'll just be taking my crusty tentacle rape mag back to mom's basement, now.

 

[Kaido]

Let this go, or send the teacher a venom filled email telling him exactly how I feel?

A couple of notes:

1. People who are bullies like this don't think about their impact. It's likely he won't even remember you. The schools have gotten stricter about what can and cannot happen legally in schools, so it was what is was at the time. And if he does remember you, he may still be adamant about his views. So be prepared for not being remembered and for him not caring or even calling you out on it.

2. Ask yourself this: what are you expecting to have happen? This is an important question, because when you've been on the receiving end of something you're not happy about, it can stick with you for a really long time. The problem is, you're going to verbally attack this guy for something that happened nearly 30 years ago. If he does remember and if he has overcome the traits that you perceive make him act like a bully, then maybe he'll say sorry. And then what? Otherwise, you'll have told him off, and then...?

It might help to write this stuff down in a journal, or send an email to yourself to work through the issue. And also put a timeline on it - write down the possible outcomes of contacting him, and then how you would feel afterward, a month after, a year after. Someone exposed you to something you didn't agree with and it left a psychological scar on you, so you have to deal with it somehow. Sometimes all you need is to write things out to get a clearer picture, because if you keep it in your head all the time, it goes nowhere.

Honestly, I think everyone has to go through something like this growing up. For some people, it's worse than others, and for some it's physical and some it's mental. I had two friends in college who were dating. We had no idea the guy was unstable because when they broke up, he hung himself and left a nastygram for her. She was pretty messed up for a long time and had a really hard time dating after that.

I kind of think that's part of becoming an adult - you have something serious happen to you and you realize it's not all fun & games. Someone you know dies, your parents split up, you're involved in an accident, someone bullies you, etc. I don't think I know anyone who didn't have some kind of physical or emotionally traumatizing experience growing up, but if it's bothering you this much after all these years, then it's definitely time to try something else to make it go away. Beating the guy up won't fix it because he's still going to be the person he is, so you have to find a way to deal with it on your end instead.

 

[iRONic]

No, nothing like that happened.

Issues; you got 'em.

 

[SamQuint]

If you are expecting a heart felt apology and him begging for forgiveness it won't happen.

I predict one of two responses.

1. I knew you were bad all along and this email proves it.
2. You are evil, let me teach you about God and prove to you how evil you are.

Also the last thing you want is to give this guy your email address. I would assume you would send it anonymously but that kind of lessons the impact if he does not know who it came from.

 

[Carson Dyle]

Get over it.

This.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

jesus would forgive

 

[poofyhairguy]

What would make me feel the best is to drive to his house, drag him into the front yard and beat the living hell out of him.

Way way way too violent.

If you are going to risk prison time trying to ruin this guy, at least do the sneak cocaine into his car and call crime stoppers while he is parked on school grounds trick. Jeez.

 

[Texashiker]

If you are going to risk prison time trying to ruin this guy, at least do the sneak cocaine into his car and call crime stoppers while he is parked on school grounds trick. Jeez.

Maybe pay for him a subscription to some hardcore p**n magazines. Then have the magazines mailed to the church where his email address is at?

 

[CPA]

What would make me feel the best is to drive to his house, drag him into the front yard and beat the living hell out of him.

But there is this whole calling the police, getting arrested, court, probation, criminal record thing.

I would probably feel better all that, but getting ass raped in prison would make me feel worse. Then there is the hep B, HIV issue while getting ass raped.

What would make me feel best right now could have long lasting negative effects.

You are a very irrational human being.

 

[Ruptga]

You are a very irrational human being.

Oh yeah, hence the skepticism. There's no telling what he's going to say next, let alone where the truth lies.

 

[sixone]

Maybe pay for him a subscription to some hardcore p**n magazines. Then have the magazines mailed to the church where his email address is at?

That would be childish and vengeful. Is that really who you want to be?

If you're willing to throw money away, send a donation to a charity or just hand it to a stranger on the street.

Turn those lemons into lemonade.

 

[Carson Dyle]

Twenty seven years later? You need therapy, not revenge. Seriously.