"fake" things in movies that piss you off.

[BladeVenom]

this one is gold:
http://www.makemymood.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/csizoom.jpg

Also, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUFkb0d1kbU

 

[Scooby Doo]

Also, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUFkb0d1kbU

And also, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHjuV7kRpFQ

 

[brigden]

Unfortunately, modern audiences require over-the-top exposition, a heavy-handed score, convenient transitions, cliffhangers, super attractive actors, superfluous sound effects, cliches, archetypes, and neat, tidy, happy endings.

 

[Jeff7]

Unfortunately, modern audiences require over-the-top exposition, a heavy-handed score, convenient transitions, cliffhangers, super attractive actors, superfluous sound effects, cliches, archetypes, and neat, tidy, happy endings.

My thoughts exactly.

It's like having a narrator shouting at you in a slow and condescending tone.
All of the characters in Avatar felt like that.
"THIS MAN IS A BAD MAN! HE IS ARROGANT AND CARES ONLY ABOUT MONEY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I WILL REPEAT THIS AGAIN SEVERAL MORE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE!"

"Unobtainium." Same thing. Shouting again at you, "This substance does not exist! Get it?"

The lights turning on: "Hey! You! Things are happening! I know they're just turning on lights, but it's exciting stuff! EXCITING!!!"

 

[lxskllr]

My thoughts exactly.

It's like having a narrator shouting at you in a slow and condescending tone.
All of the characters in Avatar felt like that.
"THIS MAN IS A BAD MAN! HE IS ARROGANT AND CARES ONLY ABOUT MONEY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I WILL REPEAT THIS AGAIN SEVERAL MORE TIMES THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE!"

I wanted to like Avatar, but it was just too heavy handed, and honestly, embarrassing to watch. It could have been a great movie, but aside from the stunning visuals, it turned out well below par.

 

[coldmeat]

I loved Avatar. Sure, the story was simple and overly obvious, but that was just so they could get it out of the way. If you wanted Avatar, except with an added proper storyline and character development, you're looking at a 4 hour movie.

 

[lxskllr]

If you wanted Avatar, except with an added proper storyline and character development, you're looking at a 4 hour movie.

I was thinking it would be a good HBO mini series, or perhaps even a theatre mini series. Have they done that since the days of the old serials? They want to get people in the theatre. Give them a reason to go. A well made movie series might do it.

 

[Craig234]

- almost every time there's an overweight actor, they're only there to make an issue of their being overweight

- the '555' phone numbers

- almost no one ever watches tv

- the 'ticking time bomb' where whatever problem has seconds before blowing up

- the lack of police response to people driving around the city at high speeds shooting

- making the villains incredibly powerful early, and later easy to beat by the hero

- black and white stories (villain just wants to kill people for the pleasure)

- bad guys rarely notice they're being obviously tailed

- hacking into anything fast

- wearing just enough clothes for the rating (sure people have sex with that shirt on in bed)

- conversations that happen in person when they'd be over a phone call

- police who are constantly hands on when they'd have field units do something (there's an emergency they hear about miles away when seconds matter, and to handle it they drive there instead of radioing units in the field to get there fast), and who don't wear helmets entering dangerous buidlings because the audience likes to see their face

- people being 'knocked out' with a hit to the head and 'just fine' when they wake up

- groups of bad guys who charge one at a time

 

[IronWing]

"Like they need that many police cars."

- Actual quote from an aspie friend while watching The Blues Brothers.

 

[StinkyPinky]

I'm sure someone has mentioned this, but the fact that people never eat their food. They will order some meal at a diner, chat with whomever they are meeting and take one bite and never touch the meal.

 

[Paladin3]

Yeah there are only a few actors who will actually eat on screen. Brad Pitt being one, and the dude that plays Jason Stackhouse in True Blood being another.

I just watched the Ocean's series again and he's eating in almost every scene. At least it adds some kind of realism compared to the movies where nobody ever eats, sleeps or hits the bathroom. Not that the Ocean's were extremely realistic, heh.

 

[TraumaRN]

Pretty much every movie that involves medical care. The CPR is always brutally wrong. Everyone always comes alive again after 15 seconds of CPR with no ill effect.

The injuries that are so easily shaken off. The instant death from stab wound to the belly. Could go on and on and on.

 

[BladeVenom]

I'm sure someone has mentioned this, but the fact that people never eat their food. They will order some meal at a diner, chat with whomever they are meeting and take one bite and never touch the meal.

The amount of liquid in their cups though will constantly change. Common mistake in movies

Clothes and hair being dry right after they get out of the water.

Clothes and hair being clean right after they get dirty.

 

[purbeast0]

I wanted to like Avatar, but it was just too heavy handed, and honestly, embarrassing to watch. It could have been a great movie, but aside from the stunning visuals, it turned out well below par.

avatar is one of my favorite movies. i'm not saying it is the greatest movie of all time or anything, but as a whole package i just love the movie. the visuals of that movie are just incredible and it looks so awesome on the bigscreen. the sound is top notch as well. all in all it is just a sensory orgasm for 3 hours.

 

[Jeff7]

I loved Avatar. Sure, the story was simple and overly obvious, but that was just so they could get it out of the way. If you wanted Avatar, except with an added proper storyline and character development, you're looking at a 4 hour movie.

It was an ok movie. Yes, well-done effects, no doubt there, and Pocahontas In Space isn't necessarily a bad thing. (I'd also be ok with a 4 hour movie. - I do own, and have watched, the extended edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.:awe But it was fairly predictable, and a lot of the character interactions were annoyingly poor because they shot any hints of "subtext" and "subtlety" out into interstellar space, where they were splattered onto the windshield of a starship en route to Pandora.

The amount of liquid in their cups though will constantly change. Common mistake in movies

Clothes and hair being dry right after they get out of the water.

Clothes and hair being clean right after they get dirty.

Another one from Stargate SG-1: They got stuck in a recurring time loop. O'Neill's loop would start with him holding a spoonful of Froot Loops to his mouth. According to something on the Stargate Wiki, they glued down the cereal on the spoon so that it would look the same in each take.


Other thing I loved, in another episode. General Hammond asks an engineer how long some job will take.
"That'll be 24 hours General, minimum."
-- "I'll give you half that."
"No Sir, it doesn't work that way. 24 hours is the best I can do"
-- "Then you'd better get back to it."

So often that shows up on TV.
"That'll take at least 48 hours! But if you ask me again, and shout it really urgently, I'll do it in 30 minutes."

 

[ZaneNBK]

The fire ignition noise used in many movies and TV shows. It sounds like a large amount of fumes are being ignited, but it's used for all kinds of fire-related scenes.

 

[lxskllr]

Other thing I loved, in another episode. General Hammond asks an engineer how long some job will take.
"That'll be 24 hours General, minimum."
-- "I'll give you half that."
"No Sir, it doesn't work that way. 24 hours is the best I can do"
-- "Then you'd better get back to it."

So often that shows up on TV.
"That'll take at least 48 hours! But if you ask me again, and shout it really urgently, I'll do it in 30 minutes."

I see you come from the other school of thought regarding project completion. I grossly overestimate the time it'll take to do something. If that appears to be entirely unsatisfactory, I'll begrudgingly reduce it by a slight amount, but still greater than the time it really takes. If they REALLY need it done, I can complete it early and be a hero. If they only want it done just because they want it done, I get extra fuck off time :^D

 

[natto fire]

So glad the first two replies nailed it, so I don't have to waste time reading this thread.

 

[purbeast0]

In fact Cameron seems to pay attention to detail more often than most directors. He tends to show the guns in detail and keeps track of the rounds, (see Aliens, Terminator, T2, etc)

okay so tonight i watched some old movies, jurassic park 2 and terminator 2, and holy shit, you were not kidding about james cameron.

i was paying attention to the ammo due to your post, and there are actual scenes based on people running out of ammo. first one was in the mall when the t1000 is shooting in the hallway and he runs out of ammo and as he's reloading it is when they get into the elevator. and after that, i noticed it A TON of times in the movie in general, all the way until the end when sarah runs out of shotgun rounds to knock him off the ledge.

but i will say, i also did notice how whenever they showed arnolds viewpoint, all the text scrolling made noise DINK DINK DINK as it scrolled lol, which is one of the reasons i made this thread.

http://i.imgur.com/Vad5g2z.jpg

asta la vista, baby!

 

[Jeff7]

I see you come from the other school of thought regarding project completion. I grossly overestimate the time it'll take to do something. If that appears to be entirely unsatisfactory, I'll begrudgingly reduce it by a slight amount, but still greater than the time it really takes. If they REALLY need it done, I can complete it early and be a hero. If they only want it done just because they want it done, I get extra fuck off time :^D

It depends on who you're working with. If you know they're going to automatically slice off time, you pad accordingly.
If you work for someone who's previously done the kind of job you're doing:
- They may know already how long it should really take.
- They know that you're not overinflating your estimates, so give a reasonable number.

 

[brigden]

Many of these complaints are simply a function of how a screenplay is written. Perfect dialogue is unrealistic, but it keeps the reader engaged, and ultimately, the actors require specific timing to execute dialogue and hit their marks. Their performance depends on knowing all the dialogue in a given scene. It makes their job that much harder if other actors improvise.

Many of you fail to recognize how old-fashioned the art and business of filmmaking is.

 

[Murloc]

I don't usually notice the pistol recharging thing.
In many movies there's a guy with a revolver struggling to insert ammo in the drum while being supernervous and the bad guys are coming etc.

 

[disappoint]

NSFW:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg59wBbegvk

I've done Calculus I-III, differential equations, linear algebra, physics I-III the gibberish the guy talks about at the end makes no sense. So much for suspension of disbelief.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

NSFW:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg59wBbegvk

I've done Calculus I-III, differential equations, linear algebra, physics I-III the gibberish the guy talks about at the end makes no sense. So much for suspension of disbelief.

That was some seriously retarded shit. And not just the math stuff.

 

[CZroe]

I see you come from the other school of thought regarding project completion. I grossly overestimate the time it'll take to do something. If that appears to be entirely unsatisfactory, I'll begrudgingly reduce it by a slight amount, but still greater than the time it really takes. If they REALLY need it done, I can complete it early and be a hero. If they only want it done just because they want it done, I get extra fuck off time :^D

The point was that the definition of the word "minimum" was lost on someone, somewhere. If you said "minimum" and then finish it faster because you were over-estimating, then you revealed your lie or demonstrated that your estimations can't be relied on. Either way, I wouldn't appreciate it and you'd not be a "hero."

To be an unexpected hero, under-promise and avoid the word "minimum."