As someone who has lived in NJ for the past 25 years, I would like to add my two cents to the discussion. I've spent 18+ years in Bergen County, 4 years in Middlesex/Somerset area, and the rest in and around Newark, Jersey City, and Hoboken.
The first thing I want to comment on is the "NJ smell". I'll fully admit, as someone who has never lived outside of NJ for more than a few weeks, its quite possible that I can't smell some things in NJ that others can. For me, though, there is really only one particular part of NJ that has the "smell" and that is the industrial area near Newark. Believe it or not, I've never experienced this smell in downtown Newark or even at the airport. I honestly don't think this smell exists in other parts of the state, but I will be the first person to tell you: it is disgusting and nasty and you will smell it even if your car windows are rolled up.
Second, the whole no self-serve gas thing: Is it really that bad for those of you who don't live here? I have self-serve year round and I'm not sure how I feel about it. In the summer time I would love to pump my own gas and in the winter I generally sit in the warmth of my car and think "Ahhh...it's great being lazy and warm." I, however, hate when they insist on pumping that extra 50 cents of gas and I don't feel like I should have to say anything. (Also, you try talking to one of the guys who pumps gas. A friend of mine in college worked at a gas station part time and even he couldn't communicate with his co-workers.) Big deal? Not really. As far as gas prices go, though, as I recall gas stations are required not to charge extra (I believe in some states where you have the option there can be a surcharge if you don't pump your gas...yes/no?) Maybe the cost does get factored in, but honestly, if I'm paying 5 cents extra per gallon and I'm still paying less per gallon than the rest of the country, who am I to complain?
The rest of this thread is kind of meaningless to me. If you want to live in a nice scenic area, you can do that in NJ. Honestly, though, if you want to live in a nice area with grass and trees and nice scenery...Northern NJ is not for you (unless of course you are fortunate enough to make the sort of money to live in Alpine, Saddle River, etc..). To me, Northern NJ isn't supposed to be anything more than a place for people who work in Manhattan to raise their families. The school systems are good, the crime rate is low, and there are things to do. Is it perfect? No, its ok. Just like the rest of Jersey, it has pros and cons.
I will note, however, that there are people in NJ that totally do live up to all the hype. They embody all that ATOT and the rest of the country believe about NJ (Heck, I am having flashbacks to high school right now). That said, you can only imagine the things I think about people who live in other parts of the country. (Texas, pretty much all of the "south", and yea even south Jersey)
Bottom line: To me, NJ is like anywhere else. If it's the kind of place for you, it's good and if it's not then don't stay (plenty of cheaper places that at least seem nicer, if you don't HAVE to live here for work reasons or proximity to NYC then don't). Above all else, please, continue to make fun of NJ. I can honestly say that part what makes New Jersey what it is, is having to defend some of it's bad points (and simultaneously agreeing that traffic, taxes, and pretty much everything else here sucks to some degree).