Embarrassing screw-ups with your spouse

[newb111]

Originally posted by: Uppsala9496
About 3 weeks ago my wife in a sleep deprived state was changing our daughter (all of 3 weeks old) and put the dirty diaper in the dresser after she had grabbed a change of clothes for the baby.
I went to get some clothes out for the baby the next day and noticed the diaper. Good thing it was just a pee diaper.


My wife also managed to wash our passports that were in my cargo pants pocket after a trip. Went through the wash and dry cycles. Of course we had another out of country trip a couple months later so I had to shell out the money to get new ones expedited.
As a result of that fiasco I taped a huge sign on the washing machine that says "Check Pockets".

Most women would yell at you for not emptying your own damn pockets before putting them up for washing. If she has to do your laundry, the least you could do is keep your pockets empty.

 

[lizardth]

Originally posted by: newb111

Originally posted by: Uppsala9496
About 3 weeks ago my wife in a sleep deprived state was changing our daughter (all of 3 weeks old) and put the dirty diaper in the dresser after she had grabbed a change of clothes for the baby.
I went to get some clothes out for the baby the next day and noticed the diaper. Good thing it was just a pee diaper.


My wife also managed to wash our passports that were in my cargo pants pocket after a trip. Went through the wash and dry cycles. Of course we had another out of country trip a couple months later so I had to shell out the money to get new ones expedited.
As a result of that fiasco I taped a huge sign on the washing machine that says "Check Pockets".

Most women would yell at you for not emptying your own damn pockets before putting them up for washing. If she has to do your laundry, the least you could do is keep your pockets empty.

LOL I was just typing that!!! FMC has had several of his thumb drives washed. He now checks his pockets.

 

[Uppsala9496]

Originally posted by: newb111

Originally posted by: Uppsala9496


My wife also managed to wash our passports that were in my cargo pants pocket after a trip. Went through the wash and dry cycles. Of course we had another out of country trip a couple months later so I had to shell out the money to get new ones expedited.
As a result of that fiasco I taped a huge sign on the washing machine that says "Check Pockets".

Most women would yell at you for not emptying your own damn pockets before putting them up for washing. If she has to do your laundry, the least you could do is keep your pockets empty.

We got home really late after a delayed flight from London. I basically crawled out of my pants and into bed when we got home. The pants were literally right beside the bed facing inwards.
My wife got up early for some strange reason and decided to get a head start on the laundry. Mind you my pants were not in my dirty clothes pile I keep getting yelled at for keeping, nor were they in the laundry room. They were right next to the bed. I still had my wallet, keys, boarding passes, ipod, etc in my pockets. I jsut happened to put the passports in a side leg pocket and she didn't notice them.

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

 

[edro]

My girlfriend thought he was saying "That's Allstate's Stan" on those Allstate commercials.
She asked me who Stan was.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: OdiN
You use the recycle bin?

FAIL!

And even MORE FAIL on the panties thing. How can you get that size and not notice that hey....those are way too big for her!

They boxed them up for me...I didn't see the actual item.

 

[Bibble]

Girlfriend: "Ow ow ow"
Me: "Whoops, wrong hole, sorry"

But seriously, one time I asked my girlfriend if she remembered when we saw Kung-Fu Hustle together. Unfortunately, I saw that movie with my ex-girlfriend, who my girlfriend hates with a passion. She was pissed and didn't talk to me for a good hour or so.

 

[hiromizu]

Earlier in our relationship, my gf found out that I was with a Brazilian prostitute during a short business hop. Still teases me about it.

 

[Fritzo]

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

 

[Uppsala9496]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2


To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

I get yelled at for not stacking the dish washer correctly. I jsut jam things in there and wash it as soon as it looks full. Apparently I waste a lot of space....
But the dishes get cleaned.

 

[OdiN]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: OdiN
You use the recycle bin?

FAIL!

And even MORE FAIL on the panties thing. How can you get that size and not notice that hey....those are way too big for her!

They boxed them up for me...I didn't see the actual item.

So you didn't even see what they picked before giving it to her?

Wow, even MORE FAIL!

 

[imported_yovonbishop]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

It's funny how many people are banned from doing laundry :laugh:

My fiance is only allowed to wash whites (he lives at home). His father has the same restrictions. Every time the fiance's mother goes out of state to visit family, his father gets the brilliant idea to do laundry - colored clothes, jeans, etc. He generally sets them on the highest heat setting and has, to date, shrunk every single article of clothing he washes.

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: Uppsala9496

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2


To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

I get yelled at for not stacking the dish washer correctly. I jsut jam things in there and wash it as soon as it looks full. Apparently I waste a lot of space....
But the dishes get cleaned.

Yeah, she'll place bowls and plates with the grime facing the walls instead of center, cups and glasses on the bottom, etc.. It's one of the few things I'm anal retentive about and it absolutely drives me nuts when I see it done "incorrectly".

 

[Gooberlx2]

Originally posted by: yovonbishop

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

It's funny how many people are banned from doing laundry :laugh:

My fiance is only allowed to wash whites (he lives at home). His father has the same restrictions. Every time the fiance's mother goes out of state to visit family, his father gets the brilliant idea to do laundry - colored clothes, jeans, etc. He generally sets them on the highest heat setting and has, to date, shrunk every single article of clothing he washes.

If I have to do a load now (if it's piled up too much, I have the day off and the wife is at work), my wife will be sure to separate out anything I could possibly screw up and do those later herself. I generally wash clothes on cold or medium (now), but I mix colors and can't pick out delicates for the life of me.

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: Bibble
Girlfriend: "Ow ow ow"
Me: "Whoops, wrong hole, sorry"

But seriously, one time I asked my girlfriend if she remembered when we saw Kung-Fu Hustle together. Unfortunately, I saw that movie with my ex-girlfriend, who my girlfriend hates with a passion. She was pissed and didn't talk to me for a good hour or so.

theres a vid/gif of this in action out there, pops out, pops back in the wrong place, you can see her reaction of pure pain, leg twitches and everything

its pretty funny

 

[SirChadwick]

Introducing my wife as my fiancee a month after we got married. That made me a little red in the face b/c it was in front of about 5 co-workers... they all know she is my wife.

 

[imported_yovonbishop]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: yovonbishop

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

It's funny how many people are banned from doing laundry :laugh:

My fiance is only allowed to wash whites (he lives at home). His father has the same restrictions. Every time the fiance's mother goes out of state to visit family, his father gets the brilliant idea to do laundry - colored clothes, jeans, etc. He generally sets them on the highest heat setting and has, to date, shrunk every single article of clothing he washes.

If I have to do a load now (if it's piled up too much, I have the day off and the wife is at work), my wife will be sure to separate out anything I could possibly screw up and do those later herself. I generally wash clothes on cold or medium (now), but I mix colors and can't pick out delicates for the life of me.

It sounds like your wife is a smart woman :thumbsup:

I just don't understand (and I'm not trying to generalize - just take what I've read in this thread and witnessed on my own) why so many men seem to not be able to grasp the concept of washing and drying clothes.

 

[newb111]

Originally posted by: yovonbishop

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: yovonbishop

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

It's funny how many people are banned from doing laundry :laugh:

My fiance is only allowed to wash whites (he lives at home). His father has the same restrictions. Every time the fiance's mother goes out of state to visit family, his father gets the brilliant idea to do laundry - colored clothes, jeans, etc. He generally sets them on the highest heat setting and has, to date, shrunk every single article of clothing he washes.

If I have to do a load now (if it's piled up too much, I have the day off and the wife is at work), my wife will be sure to separate out anything I could possibly screw up and do those later herself. I generally wash clothes on cold or medium (now), but I mix colors and can't pick out delicates for the life of me.

It sounds like your wife is a smart woman :thumbsup:

I just don't understand (and I'm not trying to generalize - just take what I've read in this thread and witnessed on my own) why so many men seem to not be able to grasp the concept of washing and drying clothes.

It's all an act. Men are smart enough to know that if you act like you don't know how, and mess it up once, the wife won't ask you to do it again.

 

[imported_yovonbishop]

Originally posted by: newb111

Originally posted by: yovonbishop

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: yovonbishop

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

It's funny how many people are banned from doing laundry :laugh:

My fiance is only allowed to wash whites (he lives at home). His father has the same restrictions. Every time the fiance's mother goes out of state to visit family, his father gets the brilliant idea to do laundry - colored clothes, jeans, etc. He generally sets them on the highest heat setting and has, to date, shrunk every single article of clothing he washes.

If I have to do a load now (if it's piled up too much, I have the day off and the wife is at work), my wife will be sure to separate out anything I could possibly screw up and do those later herself. I generally wash clothes on cold or medium (now), but I mix colors and can't pick out delicates for the life of me.

It sounds like your wife is a smart woman :thumbsup:

I just don't understand (and I'm not trying to generalize - just take what I've read in this thread and witnessed on my own) why so many men seem to not be able to grasp the concept of washing and drying clothes.

It's all an act. Men are smart enough to know that if you act like you don't know how, and mess it up once, the wife won't ask you to do it again.

Good point. With the exception of ruining passports. I don't think it's worth the extra money to get a new one just to not do laundry. If it is, wow

 

[Squisher]

Wife and I go to a closing of a mortgage refinance of our old house. We walk in together and I kinda go up to the receptionist desk first and say we're here for a closing.

The girl behind the desks asks, "What's your street name?"

*Squisher's eyes glaze over in thought, What's my street name? What's my street name? I don't have a street name. My name is Craig. What's my street name?*

The wife seeing that I look like I'm stroking out offers up, "It's Linden Street."

After we're ushered into an office to wait I explain why I stuttered there at the receptionist desk and the wife and I are laughing so hard that I'm sure they thought we had escaped from the loony bin.

I guess I had been watching too many episodes of Cops.

 

[imported_yovonbishop]

Originally posted by: Squisher
Wife and I go to a closing of a mortgage refinance of our old house. We walk in together and I kinda go up the receptionist desk first and say we're here for a closing.

The girl behind the desks asks, "What's your street name?"

*Squisher's eyes glaze over in thought, What's my street name? What's my street name? I don't have a street name. My name is Craig. What's my street name?*

The wife seeing that I look like I'm stroking out offers up, "It's Linden Street."

After we're ushered into an office to wait I explain why I stuttered there at the receptionist desk and the wife and I are laughing so hard that I'm sure they thought we had escaped from the loony bin.

I guess I had been watching too many episodes of Cops.

I laughed so hard at that because when you said "What's your street name?" the first thing I thought of was break dance fighting. I have no idea. So I guess you're not alone there.

 

[BigPoppa]

Originally posted by: Squisher
Wife and I go to a closing of a mortgage refinance of our old house. We walk in together and I kinda go up to the receptionist desk first and say we're here for a closing.

The girl behind the desks asks, "What's your street name?"

*Squisher's eyes glaze over in thought, What's my street name? What's my street name? I don't have a street name. My name is Craig. What's my street name?*

The wife seeing that I look like I'm stroking out offers up, "It's Linden Street."

After we're ushered into an office to wait I explain why I stuttered there at the receptionist desk and the wife and I are laughing so hard that I'm sure they thought we had escaped from the loony bin.

I guess I had been watching too many episodes of Cops.

I don't know why, but that just set off tears of joy. Thank you, good sir.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

I solved the dishwasher thing...I bought one of those 3 stage heavy duty Kenmore dishwashers with a built in garbage disposal. You don't even have to scrape the dishes! ::grunt grunt grunt::

 

[mcmilljb]

Originally posted by: Squisher
Wife and I go to a closing of a mortgage refinance of our old house. We walk in together and I kinda go up to the receptionist desk first and say we're here for a closing.

The girl behind the desks asks, "What's your street name?"

*Squisher's eyes glaze over in thought, What's my street name? What's my street name? I don't have a street name. My name is Craig. What's my street name?*

The wife seeing that I look like I'm stroking out offers up, "It's Linden Street."

After we're ushered into an office to wait I explain why I stuttered there at the receptionist desk and the wife and I are laughing so hard that I'm sure they thought we had escaped from the loony bin.

I guess I had been watching too many episodes of Cops.

:thumbsup::thumbsup: Good stuff! :laugh:

 

[Gibson486]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I did laundry once.......and shrunk her favorite sweater so I am banned from doing all laundry (the question is, did I do it on purpose??).

I did that with a red sock and white laundry. We had pink sheets and pink dress shirts.

I too am banned from laundry.

I washed and dried a pile of my wife's designer jeans. They all shrank too much. I also obliterated a cashmere sweater. I am also banned.

To be fair, I've banned her from running the dishwasher because she absolutely sucks at stacking dishes (places them the wrong way and all that).

I solved the dishwasher thing...I bought one of those 3 stage heavy duty Kenmore dishwashers with a built in garbage disposal. You don't even have to scrape the dishes! ::grunt grunt grunt::

I ruined the laundry 2 times.....I still have to do it