- Dec 1, 2014
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Pounded grains formed into shapes and then smothered with high fructose corn syrup and artificial coloring are a staple in this country ('Merica!).
While there are many different flavors and shapes to choose from, I've taken the liberty of compiling this official list for those of you that may have yet to try these cereals, so that you can stop wasting your life.
So here it is:
5. Coming in at number 5 is Lucky Charms. This cereal balances semi-savory little bits with super sweet marshmallowey bits to combine into a pretty tasty breakfast treat. The shapes of the marshmallows change but usually there are rainbows and horseshoe's and stuff, a semi-subliminal racist poke at the Irish. The other bits are what? I don't know. Bells? They're usually all broken up. The off-brand "Marshmallow Mateys" is a good substitute and a lot cheaper. It is pirate themed.
4. Blueberry Morning cereal comes in fourth place and is a bit different from other cereals in that it doesn't have a lot of sugar added to it but I still wouldn't exactly call it health food. You'll often see this cereal paired with a picture of a fatty and their before and after photos, showing that it can be used to lose weight. Well, maybe for some people but I usually end up eating like 4 servings in a bowl x2, but to each their own. This cereal is delicious and sweet, but not in the candy-kind of way. So here's to you Blueberry Morning cereal. :thumbsup:
3. Taking a respectable third place is Honey Smacks. These tasty golden fluffbits are deliciously sweet and surprisingly filling after two or three bowls. It also makes the milk delightfully diabetic for sipping on afterwards. I typically go the cheap route with these similar to the Marshmallow Mateys: a 10lb bag on the cheap.
2. Solid second place goes to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It's the taste you can see. I think they mean that because after a few bowls you can scrape your spoon on the bottom and come up with huge swathes of cinnamonysugar deliciousness. It's kind of like panning for diabetes. The flat shape and awesome texture make this an amazing cereal to insert in your mouth.
1. And for the first place and golden medal we have...drumroll please.... Waffle Crisp Cereal
! That's right, from left field and beating out much more mainstream favorites it's Waffle Crisp Cereal! *crowd goes wild* This cereal tastes like a crunchy milky version of its syrupy-buttery other-self it's amazing. Unlike it's less successful French Toast Crisp, this cereal knocks it out of the park. This is the cereal you would want with you on a desert island people.
So there you have it folks, the unquestionable, non-debatable, super-official list of the best breakfast cereals. But before we go, here are some notable mentions that didn't quite make it in the top 5, but deserve a fancy nod in their direction anyways:
Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
Frosted Flakes
Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Cereal
Rice Krispies (and the 9 tablespoons of cane sugar you put into the bowl)
Golden Grahams
While there are many different flavors and shapes to choose from, I've taken the liberty of compiling this official list for those of you that may have yet to try these cereals, so that you can stop wasting your life.
So here it is:
5. Coming in at number 5 is Lucky Charms. This cereal balances semi-savory little bits with super sweet marshmallowey bits to combine into a pretty tasty breakfast treat. The shapes of the marshmallows change but usually there are rainbows and horseshoe's and stuff, a semi-subliminal racist poke at the Irish. The other bits are what? I don't know. Bells? They're usually all broken up. The off-brand "Marshmallow Mateys" is a good substitute and a lot cheaper. It is pirate themed.
4. Blueberry Morning cereal comes in fourth place and is a bit different from other cereals in that it doesn't have a lot of sugar added to it but I still wouldn't exactly call it health food. You'll often see this cereal paired with a picture of a fatty and their before and after photos, showing that it can be used to lose weight. Well, maybe for some people but I usually end up eating like 4 servings in a bowl x2, but to each their own. This cereal is delicious and sweet, but not in the candy-kind of way. So here's to you Blueberry Morning cereal. :thumbsup:
3. Taking a respectable third place is Honey Smacks. These tasty golden fluffbits are deliciously sweet and surprisingly filling after two or three bowls. It also makes the milk delightfully diabetic for sipping on afterwards. I typically go the cheap route with these similar to the Marshmallow Mateys: a 10lb bag on the cheap.
2. Solid second place goes to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It's the taste you can see. I think they mean that because after a few bowls you can scrape your spoon on the bottom and come up with huge swathes of cinnamonysugar deliciousness. It's kind of like panning for diabetes. The flat shape and awesome texture make this an amazing cereal to insert in your mouth.
1. And for the first place and golden medal we have...drumroll please.... Waffle Crisp Cereal
! That's right, from left field and beating out much more mainstream favorites it's Waffle Crisp Cereal! *crowd goes wild* This cereal tastes like a crunchy milky version of its syrupy-buttery other-self it's amazing. Unlike it's less successful French Toast Crisp, this cereal knocks it out of the park. This is the cereal you would want with you on a desert island people. So there you have it folks, the unquestionable, non-debatable, super-official list of the best breakfast cereals. But before we go, here are some notable mentions that didn't quite make it in the top 5, but deserve a fancy nod in their direction anyways:
Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
Frosted Flakes
Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Cereal
Rice Krispies (and the 9 tablespoons of cane sugar you put into the bowl)
Golden Grahams
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