Holy shite! That
cosmograph definitely needs MOAR sub-dials and big ass buttons!
How else can the wearer be assured that the lesser life forms who clutter the edges of his gleaming and thoroughly pre-Febreezed existence will be properly awed by his gargantuan PPS*?
Not to mention its inscribed title -- ROLEX OYSTER PERPETUAL SUPERLATIVE CHRONOMETER OFFICIALLY CRAFTED COSMOGRAPH -- simply isn't tediously pompous or long enough to effectively signal to a breathlessly appreciative world that this
watch,
errrr,
chronometer . . . ok, COSMOGRAPH is an acquired object of such importance and gravitas that the peasants and the poors had best know that they should reflexively genuflect in its presence.
*
Perceived
Penis
Size.