Does this make me a bad person?

[SuperjetMatt]

Just three weeks ago I was standing in a room inside a Neonatal Intensive Care unit, holding the hand of a newborn boy that was 11 hours old.
I was holding his hands because his parents momentarily went somewhere else and they did not want him to be alone.
As I was holding his hand, he started slipping away.
The nurses called the parents, unhooked the miles of IV tubing and cables, handed him to his mother.
All I could do was stand there, hold onto my friends (the parents) as they held their dying newborn son.

Trust me, I didn't *want* to do that either.
But it was very important that I was there, and I would not have it any other way.

 

[ArmchairAthlete]

Hour and a half away makes it a lot easier. My grandmother was one expensive ticket away.

Do it so you don't regret it!

 

[pstylesss]

When my grandpa died (I was 2 or so) they knew he was going to pass after a long fight with cancer and each of the kids were able to go into his room and have time alone with him before he passed. It almost brings tears to my eyes right now knowing how hard it must have been for my mom and uncles knowing it was the last time they were able to talk to him. None of them regret it and they all have fond memories of their last moments with him.

 

[gamepad]

This thread makes me very sad.

Go visit your grandmother, OP!

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: gamepad
This thread makes me very sad.

Go visit your grandmother, OP!

I have not even mentioned the stories about my grandma or my uncle.

MotionMan

 

[Geekbabe]

And what about your mother? You "comfortable" leaving her there to help her own mother die with no support from you or your 28 yr old brother?

 

[MrDudeMan]

Go, and make your brother go. You were acting like a fool when you were considering not going, so hopefully you do the right thing and go.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

you are not a bad person

but that is the weak decision, and you will regret it

 

[Kelvrick]

Doesn't make you bad, makes you a coward.

I can understand if you didn't like her as a person or beat you or something. Even my dad who I haven't spoken to in 8 years was on his deathbed, I'd go see him. Not going because you'd be uncomfortable though?

Let me adjust my answer, you're not a bad person IE thief, murderer or anything like that, but you're a "bad" person in the sense that you're a pussy.

 

[ranmaniac]

You'll be even more uncomfortable for the rest of your life if you don't visit her. Also, your mother is going to need your support, whether you realize that or not.

 

[Inspector Jihad]

my grandfather died of a heart attack when i was in high school...he was the most active and fit 67 yr old person i had ever seen but thats just how things go i suppose. anyway, the week before he died, i spoke with him on the phone and told him how i had gotten my first job and other stuff. i had visited him the summer before when he had moved back to the city where he was born and grew up and spent a lot of time with him. he took me around to all the places in the city and where he used to hang out and these small restaurants that had been there since he was a kid. we traveled by bus and i remember that the most cause some of my earliest memories are of him taking me places on the bus when he would watch me while my parents were working. i dont know what that has to do with this thread.

 

[Linux23]

Yes.

 

[Skunkwourk]

you're 23 and you have no sense of duty towards family.

 

[Josh123]

I just got back about an hour ago. It was the first time I had seen her in 4 years. I was kind of shocked when I first walked in but it felt good to sit and talk to her. It really meant a lot to my mom and aunt though. 🙁

 

[GeekDrew]

I'm glad you went... you made the right decision. I made the wrong decision, and I'll probably regret it for the rest of my life.

Well, to clarify, I did say goodbye to her... but I had a chance to do so right before she died, and I didn't do it.

 

[kamper]

My oma died after about a 10 year decline through alzheimers. Every time I saw her and she was a little more confused than the last time, it made enough of an impression on me that I can no longer picture her with regular mental capacity. I sometimes wonder, if I hadn't seen her at all for the last few years, if I would be able to remember who she really was.

That said, even when she got to the point where she didn't know her own husband and could barely chew her own food, we could still make her laugh and it sounded just like it always had before. Visits of any sort were the only thing that remotely seemed to ease her pain so I couldn't not have gone and kept a clear conscience. I can understand how it's hard though.

 

[Coquito]

My grandmother has Alzheimer's too, & regardless of how much I love her, I don't think I'll be able to see her when she fully turns. All the memories we've had are just mine now, & I'd rather live with those memories, then have them replaced by a sad reality.

 

[Captante]

Originally posted by: Josh123
I just got back about an hour ago. It was the first time I had seen her in 4 years. I was kind of shocked when I first walked in but it felt good to sit and talk to her. It really meant a lot to my mom and aunt though. 🙁

Good job man .... you did the right thing! :thumbsup:

 

[Muadib]

Originally posted by: Captante

Originally posted by: Josh123
I just got back about an hour ago. It was the first time I had seen her in 4 years. I was kind of shocked when I first walked in but it felt good to sit and talk to her. It really meant a lot to my mom and aunt though. 🙁

Good job man .... you did the right thing! :thumbsup:

Now you have to talk to your bro.

 

[Josh123]

Originally posted by: Muadib

Originally posted by: Captante

Originally posted by: Josh123
I just got back about an hour ago. It was the first time I had seen her in 4 years. I was kind of shocked when I first walked in but it felt good to sit and talk to her. It really meant a lot to my mom and aunt though. 🙁

Good job man .... you did the right thing! :thumbsup:

Now you have to talk to your bro.

I know, after I got out of there I wanted to call him and tell him to get his sorry ass up there to see her. I may call him later though.

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: Coquito
My grandmother has Alzheimer's too, & regardless of how much I love her, I don't think I'll be able to see her when she fully turns. All the memories we've had are just mine now, & I'd rather live with those memories, then have them replaced by a sad reality.

But it is not all about you. You also need to support your family, especially at the end, when it is the toughest to do so. Also, if your whole family thinks like you, your grandmother will die alone or only with a few strangers.

Think about it.

MotionMan

 

[Josh123]

Originally posted by: MotionMan

Originally posted by: Coquito
My grandmother has Alzheimer's too, & regardless of how much I love her, I don't think I'll be able to see her when she fully turns. All the memories we've had are just mine now, & I'd rather live with those memories, then have them replaced by a sad reality.

But it is not all about you. You also need to support your family, especially at the end, when it is the toughest to do so. Also, if your whole family thinks like you, your grandmother will die alone or only with a few strangers.

Think about it.

MotionMan

I agree, it felt good sitting there holding her hand and all of us talking so she could hear us.

 

[Electric Amish]

I wouldn't have gone.

My mother had to force me to go to my grandmother's funeral.

 

[Nitemare]

uncomfortable, yes.

But you are gonna feel like shit if she dies and you didn't go see her.

 

[Andy22]

I went to see my Grandmother a few times in the hospital before she passed and I regret not going more 🙁