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Do you know any one in an arranged marriage?

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It still seems to be relatively common among Indian-Americans, if you count parents playing matchmaker as "arranged marriage." I haven't heard of anyone where the parents say "here, you will marry this person, deal with it."
 
BladeVenom said:
Why are people such close minded intolerant hatemongers when it comes to arranged marriages?

They usually work, and seem to have a better success rate.
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Oh please, they only reason they "work", is because often the females are trapped in them with no way out. Give me a break.
 
Nope - but currently on business trip in China and I wouldn't mind being in an arranged situation with a woman from here... 🙂
 
Sort of. I worked on a student documentary on the subject in college. It's largely a choice now. Many pick it because the dating scene didn't pan out, etc. Still, it would not be for me. The idea of being that intimate with a total stranger is scary.
 
My uncle was arranged. Suprisingly they are still together. What's hilarious is that his wife got pregnant like 3 days after they met.

They are trying to do that shit to me, but I won't do it for less than 100 grand. Fuck that. They really think $10k is enough. Fuck them.
 
DCal430 said:
If one of the spouses is being abused, usually they can get a divorce without shaming their family.
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Oh really? WOW!

What if the wife is not physically abused, but psychologically? What if she is just not happy? Would that bring shame?


🙄
 
nick1985 said:
Oh please, they only reason they "work", is because often the females are trapped in them with no way out. Give me a break.
Click to expand...

Oh please, you're just being close minded, and showing how culturally biased you are.

People who get arranged marriages, that are in countries were divorce is permissible, still have lower divorce rates.

Maybe you should consider, that parents may make better long term decisions for their children.

Ask anyone who has been divorced if their parents would probably have done a better job picking their spouse.
 
nick1985 said:
Oh really? WOW!

What if the wife is not physically abused, but psychologically? What if she is just not happy? Would that bring shame?


🙄
Click to expand...

And that happens in marriages that aren't arranged. It even worse in marriages that aren't arranged because the women will stick with the guy because of some sense of love and romance, even when he's treating her like shit.
 
BladeVenom said:
Oh please, you're just being close minded, and showing how culturally biased you are.

People who get arranged marriages, that are in countries were divorce is permissible, still have lower divorce rates.
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It may be legally permissible, but I bet there's strong cultural pressure against it.

Still, a lot of people seem to have a very skewed image of what arranged marriage is. Every example I've seen has parents acting as matchmakers rather than arbitrarily picking a spouse for their kids. It's not something I'd want, but depending on your wants/expectations for marriage I can understand why it would work for some people.
 
BladeVenom-

Is me calling the Taliban subhuman animals for their treatment of women just another example of me being close-minded?
 
Arranged marriage, at least as I've seen it practiced among Asian Americans today, is in no way comparable to how the Taliban treats women (or even to the more traditional versions of arranged marriage.) Take a chill pill and learn a thing or two about what you're spouting off about.
 
ichy said:
Arranged marriage, at least as I've seen it practiced among Asian Americans today, is in no way comparable to how the Taliban treats women (or even to the more traditional versions of arranged marriage.) Take a chill pill and learn a thing or two about what you're spouting off about.
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Its an analogy. Its not meant to be a direct comparison.


He feels that I'm close minded since I feel the way I do about arranged marriages. I wonder if he feels I'm close minded about other practices different cultures deem acceptable.
 
DCal430 said:
I am not talking about the kind were little girls are sold to older men as child brides, but ones where two parents decide that their adult children will get married.

My grandparents were married in this fashion, and so were a few of my aunts and uncles, not to mention great grandparents and grand aunts and uncles. I find these marriages are just as loving as ones were the people found each other and decided on their own to marry.

My mother was one of the first in her family to defy tradition and marry the person she fell in love with instead.
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are you indian?
one of my co-workers got arranged, he was also indian, or pakistanian, or bangladeshian. basically i brown dude since i can't tell them apart.
 
I met a woman a couple weeks ago who works with a friend of mine who is being set up with a guy out of state & the expectation is that she'll marry him.

I agree, totally backwards thinking & not a tradition I'd want anything to do with.
 
nick1985 said:
BladeVenom-

Is me calling the Taliban subhuman animals for their treatment of women just another example of me being close-minded?
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Whose talking about the Taliban? The only folks who have said contributed any information about the topic have been Indian. Get your head out of your ass already.

There are different levels of "arrangements" For the most part these days, it's more like an arranged introduction. Not much different from your eharmony type dating websites. Again not all are the same and I'm sure deep in some villages, the old traditional ways of arranged marriages are still in play but the majority aren't that way anymore.
 
Yes I do.
First Cousins too (this was disclosed to us firends/coworkers in the middle of the ceremony where the groom's and the bride's fathers both gave speeches referring to each other as "My brother"

We all dropped jaws.
 
if you ever visit Silicon Valley, you'll be exposed to arranged marriages all the time b/c all the Indian engineers working in the US on H1B visas.

In general, they seem to coexist with their mates. They're generally easy-going attitude helps in dealing with their mates.
 
There are pluses and minuses about arranged and non-arranged marriages. You never know that the girl you're marrying is a lesbian or an dick-slicer at night. On the other hand the non-arranged girl you're about to marry could potentially drop you at the moment when she gets disgusted seeing you pick your nose.
 
Doesn't strike me as a terrible tradition as long as the participation by all parties is entirely voluntary. I know people who opted for that life. Some are happy, some aren't, some are divorced, just like the rest of the world.

Throughout most of history, society has run on some form of arranged marriage. Doesn't necessarily make it right but it's very ethnocentric of us to assume that it's absolutely utterly wrong based on our position of superiority of 100 years of Western tradition where 19 year olds marry whoever they're infatuated with at the time.
 
dr150 said:
if you ever visit Silicon Valley, you'll be exposed to arranged marriages all the time b/c all the Indian engineers working in the US on H1B visas.

In general, they seem to coexist with their mates. They're generally easy-going attitude helps in dealing with their mates.
Click to expand...

Yep. And most Indian people are perfectly ok with the concept, too.
 
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