BeauJangles
Lifer
- Aug 26, 2001
- 13,941
- 1
- 0
For now, I feel good. I completed my best 1/2 of school ever, pulling all As and 2 B+'s in all AP classes. I have a wonderful girlfriend and will hopefully go to a wonderful college.
Its complicated. There is no specific, abstract, meaning to life. There are, however, concrete things that we do every day - actions that we take. These actions are a reaction to our circumstances. Usually, our possible actions are limeted by our circumstance. However, we always have a choice in the way we act. Its in that choice that we can find the meaning to life. It follows that the meaning of life doesn't lie in how rich, successful or happy we are but in how we react to our circumstances or situation.
Its a basic fact of human psychology that we cannot be fufilled for any extended period of time. Perpetual fufillment leads to complacency, and it is something that evolution has just stamped out over billions of years. Complacent organisms do not survive.
It kinda sucks, but the grass is always greener on the other side for a reason. To get us to go check out the other side.
It kinda sucks, but the grass is always greener on the other side for a reason. To get us to go check out the other side.
I guess I just think too much about life? Its like everyday I'm doing the same things over and over, and meanwhile, time flies, I'm getting older, and there is not much I can call accomplishments that I can be proud of.
I know theres a bad stigmata around books like this, but I really recommend reading the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The ideas in it are very well thought and grounded in reality as opposed to high flying quick fixes that give the genre a bad name. If you carefully read this book and try to follow its advice I guarantee fulfillment will return to your life with a vengeance.
If there's only one thing that I've realized about life, it's that fulfillment is a completely internal thing. A job and love are great, but they will never be enough to make your life complete. If you can't stand alone, with no job, no boyfriend, and still say you're happy, you won't be happy with those things. That really wouldn't be good anyway. If your happiness is tied to external things, then if (knock on wood) your boyfriend cheated on you and you got laid-off, you'd be ready to commit suicide. Those things can matter, but they shouldn't define you.
That's one of the biggest problems today. Most people seek happiness in material possesions or in other people. Things that you can't control and can be lost easily. Even if a person doesn't leave, no one person can possibly make your life complete. That isn't love, that's dependency. Giving each other space, and not needing so much from each other would save so many marriages.
You need to start looking inward and ask yourself how you can find happiness without involving objects or other people. One of the best things to do is to find out more about yourself by taking up different hobbies, solo or social. Experimenting will help you find what your passions are. Your passions are things that when you're in the moment, you feel like the ability to do them justifies life on it's own. Don't take your boyfriend or friends with you when you explore though. It needs to be a solo journey until you find some answers. The kinds of things that some people find passion in is religion, physical activities, creative activities like art music or writing, meditation, helping other people, gathering knowledge. As you know yourself better and go towards self-fulfillment, you'll find that everything external in your life is better also.
Am I fulfilled. Yes. I'm not always happy, but I am 99% of the time. I'm human, and anybody who is 100% is either lying or beyond human. My external life as far as job, relationships, money, are far from perfect, but I can put those things in perspective very easily now. With my inner happiness, as long as I can eat, live, and smile, i don't sweat things like the size of my house or if someone said something unpleasant to me. I can only occupy 6 feet of space at any one time, and I can see other people's venom for what it is, a sign of their own insecurities.
That's one of the biggest problems today. Most people seek happiness in material possesions or in other people. Things that you can't control and can be lost easily. Even if a person doesn't leave, no one person can possibly make your life complete. That isn't love, that's dependency. Giving each other space, and not needing so much from each other would save so many marriages.
You need to start looking inward and ask yourself how you can find happiness without involving objects or other people. One of the best things to do is to find out more about yourself by taking up different hobbies, solo or social. Experimenting will help you find what your passions are. Your passions are things that when you're in the moment, you feel like the ability to do them justifies life on it's own. Don't take your boyfriend or friends with you when you explore though. It needs to be a solo journey until you find some answers. The kinds of things that some people find passion in is religion, physical activities, creative activities like art music or writing, meditation, helping other people, gathering knowledge. As you know yourself better and go towards self-fulfillment, you'll find that everything external in your life is better also.
Am I fulfilled. Yes. I'm not always happy, but I am 99% of the time. I'm human, and anybody who is 100% is either lying or beyond human. My external life as far as job, relationships, money, are far from perfect, but I can put those things in perspective very easily now. With my inner happiness, as long as I can eat, live, and smile, i don't sweat things like the size of my house or if someone said something unpleasant to me. I can only occupy 6 feet of space at any one time, and I can see other people's venom for what it is, a sign of their own insecurities.
Originally posted by: Juniper
Thx. But I read it twice.
Hmmm...I also recommend
Man's Search For Meaning
Juniper, I read your post in the thread about following a path. It seems to me that you truly are very dissatisfied about something in your life. Let me ask you something: In that thread about following a path, you mentioned that you were from Singapore. That post confused me. . . . I remember you long time ago saying that you were Mauritian but were schooling at Singapore at the moment. So, are you Mauritian or not? If you're Mauritian, perhaps it's possible that you're missing your family. I would suppose that you left your family when you went to school at Singapore? You could subconsciously be missing your family.
It could also be that you aren't really happy because you haven't learned to be content with what you have. And if you aren't content, then it is wise to try out other things in life and see if it is what you always imagined it.
As for me, I'm so-so at the moment. But I would say I'm often indifferent or happy. This year has plenty in stock for me.
It could also be that you aren't really happy because you haven't learned to be content with what you have. And if you aren't content, then it is wise to try out other things in life and see if it is what you always imagined it.
As for me, I'm so-so at the moment. But I would say I'm often indifferent or happy. This year has plenty in stock for me.
Zenmervolt
Elite member
- Oct 22, 2000
- 24,514
- 36
- 91
If you're looking for other books to read, I'd recommend anything by Hugh Prather. Also, Robert Pirsig's "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" and the sequel, "Lila".
ZV
ZV
look to make an impact in other peoples lives. I think helping others can make one feel very fulfilled.
"A job and love are great, but they will never be enough to make your life complete. If you can't stand alone, with no job, no boyfriend, and still say you're happy, you won't be happy with those things."
I agree one hundred percent. So many people have been led to believe that they would find completeness in other people and in objects. The truth is that completeness comes from within and blossoms externally. You can have all of the boyfriends in the world and jobs, but you will be disappointed some day when those things fail you. And those things do fail. If they never failed people, then all celebrities, who're wealthy, would be happy and live happily ever after.
I agree one hundred percent. So many people have been led to believe that they would find completeness in other people and in objects. The truth is that completeness comes from within and blossoms externally. You can have all of the boyfriends in the world and jobs, but you will be disappointed some day when those things fail you. And those things do fail. If they never failed people, then all celebrities, who're wealthy, would be happy and live happily ever after.
Luvly, yes, I am in Singapore but not from Singapore
I do am a mauritian, and I do miss my family, but not that much, since I just talked to them on the phone the other night. I like to think and talk of things like this, but most people here in sg do not like this topic of conversation. My boyfriend would rather have conversations like civilizations and history and stuff, than talk about whether we are really happy together or not. Not that I mind though. But I do like having conversations pertaining to life, because it helps me see clearer where I am. I used to talk a lot to my dad, but sadly he passed away some time ago. Anyway.
Most people have some kind of ambition, like to be some kind of manager or buy a house. I just want to live life day by day, till I get enough cash and go someplace quiet.
Juniper, don't worry. Having such moments in life is part of what makes life interesting. It is only a problem if it sticks around for long. You are simply trying to make sense of life. Your boyfriend perceives things differently and is more of an empiricist.
Why not try making new friends. Your best friends at this point would be philosophers. If you can't make those friends in person, then consult with the books of great philosopers. It's okay to think about life and its meaning.
I do think that it all ties down to things that have occurred in your life, even if they happen some time ago. Nevertheless, its purpose is to get you to think and find answers to the meaning and purpose of life.
I wish you the best in your "spiritual" endeavours.
Why not try making new friends. Your best friends at this point would be philosophers. If you can't make those friends in person, then consult with the books of great philosopers. It's okay to think about life and its meaning.
I do think that it all ties down to things that have occurred in your life, even if they happen some time ago. Nevertheless, its purpose is to get you to think and find answers to the meaning and purpose of life.
I wish you the best in your "spiritual" endeavours.
hehe... you're sweet. Thanks for all... and whatever happens this year, I hope there's something good in store for you
Well that depends... tell me, what can be poured in a cup turned upside-down or one drained but overflowing?
Let me address a few comments in this thread first.
Hi luvly
I agree one hundred percent. So many people have been led to believe that they would find completeness in other people and in objects. The truth is that completeness comes from within and blossoms externally. You can have all of the boyfriends in the world and jobs, but you will be disappointed some day when those things fail you. And those things do fail. If they never failed people, then all celebrities, who're wealthy, would be happy and live happily ever after.
Completenss stemming from other-ness can mislead in the process of becoming human if the foundation of seeking results from an inadequate examination of self. In other words, objectification or seeking balance through external means without understanding and awareness of how dynamics balance out in one's person will likely lead to an endless cycle of new pursuits, obtaining temporary and more rewarding sensations of fulfillment and meaning. Likewise, if one assumes that all of balance starts on the inside, the possibilities of greater totalities than are possible with a monism become unavailable and then fulfillment can become a self-delusion and grasping to realize some philosophically conceived notion of internality and happiness as a "state of mind".
Its complicated. There is no specific, abstract, meaning to life. There are, however, concrete things that we do every day - actions that we take. These actions are a reaction to our circumstances. Usually, our possible actions are limeted by our circumstance. However, we always have a choice in the way we act. Its in that choice that we can find the meaning to life. It follows that the meaning of life doesn't lie in how rich, successful or happy we are but in how we react to our circumstances or situation.
Eh.. kinda. That doesn't withstand enough scrutiny as one can basely confine humanness to animalness and point to the abstraction of a lack of meta-thought and an acting without what humans at times think separates us from other animals. You remind me of Frankl and his logotherapy, and the creation of existential meanings in the choices we make in the everyday. That's true, but there's more to it. Meaning cannot exist solely by our own definitions. Seized by beauty, I cannot say this is self-referential and that beuty does not exist qua beauty. In it's recognition, however, we can differ and pose influences by culture and experience, by the self-definition and creation of meaning and choice.
Its a basic fact of human psychology that we cannot be fufilled for any extended period of time. Perpetual fufillment leads to complacency, and it is something that evolution has just stamped out over billions of years. Complacent organisms do not survive.
It kinda sucks, but the grass is always greener on the other side for a reason. To get us to go check out the other side.
Your basic fact, it seems to me, reduces us to mere puppets of our neurological structures, our transmitters and receptors deadened with time because of chemical reactions. Can this be so? Partly. See, if you say we are only animals, that being human can be reduced to a science, then fulfillment doesn't even matter, it has no point or existence; the word is meaningless. Why? Because, it's all deterministic due to your certainty of fact in the astoundingly accurate field of human psychology. Complacent organisms do survive because complacency, unlike the idealizations of the likes of Nietzsche and later the communist-socialist debacles of the early part of the twentieth century, does not have to deny the reality of competition, success. No, it supplements it, adding to it and understanding that human nature is not to be constrained by ideas alone and that the threat of reverting to the purely biological, to basic fulfillment of hedonistic and selfish drives exists.
What about the spiritual?
What about the ideological, the created and creative?
What about the poetic?
What about the soul, if one can forgive such a jumbled term in our psychological facticity.
Yes, I am fulfilled. Got no particular reason to be. I think my life, comparatively, is harder than the one many have. I am more tired now because of choices made in the past. And? And there is a God. And there is a Beloved. And the impossible happens. And the lover and the Beloved are One.
Not hard to be fulfilled. Just have to love; that requires being human. Not many want to do that.
Cheers !
Let me address a few comments in this thread first.
Hi luvly
I agree one hundred percent. So many people have been led to believe that they would find completeness in other people and in objects. The truth is that completeness comes from within and blossoms externally. You can have all of the boyfriends in the world and jobs, but you will be disappointed some day when those things fail you. And those things do fail. If they never failed people, then all celebrities, who're wealthy, would be happy and live happily ever after.
Completenss stemming from other-ness can mislead in the process of becoming human if the foundation of seeking results from an inadequate examination of self. In other words, objectification or seeking balance through external means without understanding and awareness of how dynamics balance out in one's person will likely lead to an endless cycle of new pursuits, obtaining temporary and more rewarding sensations of fulfillment and meaning. Likewise, if one assumes that all of balance starts on the inside, the possibilities of greater totalities than are possible with a monism become unavailable and then fulfillment can become a self-delusion and grasping to realize some philosophically conceived notion of internality and happiness as a "state of mind".
Its complicated. There is no specific, abstract, meaning to life. There are, however, concrete things that we do every day - actions that we take. These actions are a reaction to our circumstances. Usually, our possible actions are limeted by our circumstance. However, we always have a choice in the way we act. Its in that choice that we can find the meaning to life. It follows that the meaning of life doesn't lie in how rich, successful or happy we are but in how we react to our circumstances or situation.
Eh.. kinda. That doesn't withstand enough scrutiny as one can basely confine humanness to animalness and point to the abstraction of a lack of meta-thought and an acting without what humans at times think separates us from other animals. You remind me of Frankl and his logotherapy, and the creation of existential meanings in the choices we make in the everyday. That's true, but there's more to it. Meaning cannot exist solely by our own definitions. Seized by beauty, I cannot say this is self-referential and that beuty does not exist qua beauty. In it's recognition, however, we can differ and pose influences by culture and experience, by the self-definition and creation of meaning and choice.
Its a basic fact of human psychology that we cannot be fufilled for any extended period of time. Perpetual fufillment leads to complacency, and it is something that evolution has just stamped out over billions of years. Complacent organisms do not survive.
It kinda sucks, but the grass is always greener on the other side for a reason. To get us to go check out the other side.
Your basic fact, it seems to me, reduces us to mere puppets of our neurological structures, our transmitters and receptors deadened with time because of chemical reactions. Can this be so? Partly. See, if you say we are only animals, that being human can be reduced to a science, then fulfillment doesn't even matter, it has no point or existence; the word is meaningless. Why? Because, it's all deterministic due to your certainty of fact in the astoundingly accurate field of human psychology. Complacent organisms do survive because complacency, unlike the idealizations of the likes of Nietzsche and later the communist-socialist debacles of the early part of the twentieth century, does not have to deny the reality of competition, success. No, it supplements it, adding to it and understanding that human nature is not to be constrained by ideas alone and that the threat of reverting to the purely biological, to basic fulfillment of hedonistic and selfish drives exists.
What about the spiritual?
What about the ideological, the created and creative?
What about the poetic?
What about the soul, if one can forgive such a jumbled term in our psychological facticity.
Yes, I am fulfilled. Got no particular reason to be. I think my life, comparatively, is harder than the one many have. I am more tired now because of choices made in the past. And? And there is a God. And there is a Beloved. And the impossible happens. And the lover and the Beloved are One.
Not hard to be fulfilled. Just have to love; that requires being human. Not many want to do that.
Cheers !
To quote Frankl "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life." I think he's saying that it is life itself that provides the meaning, and we should strive to acheive the apotheosis, the height, of that meaning. By using our free will to proactively and conscientiously choose our actions we can fulfill the meaning of life.
Very often people give up their free will. They choose to be defined by their circumstances. They become products of their environment. In other words, they become animals, in the sense that animals do not have free will. However, because we do have free will we are able to transcend our environment and no longer be defined by it. However, our actions are still limited to that environment, therefore we cannot find meaning outside that environment.
All this makes me wonder, is love a product of concious free will? Is the purely passive person able to love?
Originally posted by: Juniper
hehe... you're sweet. Thanks for all... and whatever happens this year, I hope there's something good in store for you
Wow luvly its been a while (maybe even the first) since you've had someone give you a positive comment
I dont agree with that. I do believe there is a "soulmate" for everyone. This person will be able to bring out the best and be able challenge their partner. In addition to being physically and mentally 100% in tune with their SO. Now I'm not saying a person's life will not be fulfilled without this soulmate but if he/she were able to find their soulmate they would definitely live a better life. Finding that person is the hard part.
To linuxboy Wow thats some good stuff you brought up
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