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Dear fat bitch I was behind this morning in the parking garage

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Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Oh man, I drive a Cadillac De Ville and I drive SSSLLLOOOWWW in parking lots. But I watch my mirrors and when I see a red faced buffoon in the rear view the fun begins. I'll do exactly what your lard ass does, except for the signals. I'll signal left and go right anyway. Dashed hopes sort of add to the fun, in my opinion. Road rage has been of tremendous value to me. It affirms my suspicion that I feel like the worst in the world and that the Universe and God are conspiring against me by surrounding me with idiots. I become the idiot by playing that role and then later I begin to see that I was actually always one to somebody else anyway and that makes me somewhat calmer. The fat lard ass that offends me really has always been just how I was taught to feel about me. Of course I had some help cause somebody along the way told me that my rage wasn't really normal but sick. When I realized I wanted to kill them for saying that I began to see.
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I have to say one thing about you moonbeam.....you never fail to use 100 words where 10 would do.
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Yours could have been shortened to, "Moonbeam, you never fail."
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I wouldn't go that far.

😉
 
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Oh man, I drive a Cadillac De Ville and I drive SSSLLLOOOWWW in parking lots. But I watch my mirrors and when I see a red faced buffoon in the rear view the fun begins. I'll do exactly what your lard ass does, except for the signals. I'll signal left and go right anyway. Dashed hopes sort of add to the fun, in my opinion. Road rage has been of tremendous value to me. It affirms my suspicion that I feel like the worst in the world and that the Universe and God are conspiring against me by surrounding me with idiots. I become the idiot by playing that role and then later I begin to see that I was actually always one to somebody else anyway and that makes me somewhat calmer. The fat lard ass that offends me really has always been just how I was taught to feel about me. Of course I had some help cause somebody along the way told me that my rage wasn't really normal but sick. When I realized I wanted to kill them for saying that I began to see.
Click to expand...
I have to say one thing about you moonbeam.....you never fail to use 100 words where 10 would do.
Click to expand...
Yours could have been shortened to, "Moonbeam, you never fail."
Click to expand...
I wouldn't go that far.

😉
Click to expand...

Well then perhaps you will rewrite my post retaining all its original implications but with one tenth the words or could it be that you may only have comprehended one tenth of what I actually said. Some how I can't shake the nagging feeling that it wasn't the number of words or the density or lack thereof, that bothered you so much as it was the implications of the meaning. 😀

 
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Oh man, I drive a Cadillac De Ville and I drive SSSLLLOOOWWW in parking lots. But I watch my mirrors and when I see a red faced buffoon in the rear view the fun begins. I'll do exactly what your lard ass does, except for the signals. I'll signal left and go right anyway. Dashed hopes sort of add to the fun, in my opinion. Road rage has been of tremendous value to me. It affirms my suspicion that I feel like the worst in the world and that the Universe and God are conspiring against me by surrounding me with idiots. I become the idiot by playing that role and then later I begin to see that I was actually always one to somebody else anyway and that makes me somewhat calmer. The fat lard ass that offends me really has always been just how I was taught to feel about me. Of course I had some help cause somebody along the way told me that my rage wasn't really normal but sick. When I realized I wanted to kill them for saying that I began to see.
Click to expand...
I have to say one thing about you moonbeam.....you never fail to use 100 words where 10 would do.
Click to expand...
Yours could have been shortened to, "Moonbeam, you never fail."
Click to expand...
I wouldn't go that far.

😉
Click to expand...

Well then perhaps you will rewrite my post retaining all its original implications but with one tenth the words or could it be that you may only have comprehended one tenth of what I actually said. Some how I can't shake the nagging feeling that it wasn't the number of words or the density or lack thereof, that bothered you so much as it was the implications of the meaning. 😀
Click to expand...
Ok....here goes.

I'm moonbeam. I'm better than you. Please deal with it.

😉
 
I think it's awesome! Nice rant bro, I hate women drivers and fat drivers and old drivers because they ALL SUCK, except some girls are good but not too many....
 
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Moonbeam
Oh man, I drive a Cadillac De Ville and I drive SSSLLLOOOWWW in parking lots. But I watch my mirrors and when I see a red faced buffoon in the rear view the fun begins. I'll do exactly what your lard ass does, except for the signals. I'll signal left and go right anyway. Dashed hopes sort of add to the fun, in my opinion. Road rage has been of tremendous value to me. It affirms my suspicion that I feel like the worst in the world and that the Universe and God are conspiring against me by surrounding me with idiots. I become the idiot by playing that role and then later I begin to see that I was actually always one to somebody else anyway and that makes me somewhat calmer. The fat lard ass that offends me really has always been just how I was taught to feel about me. Of course I had some help cause somebody along the way told me that my rage wasn't really normal but sick. When I realized I wanted to kill them for saying that I began to see.
Click to expand...
I have to say one thing about you moonbeam.....you never fail to use 100 words where 10 would do.
Click to expand...
Yours could have been shortened to, "Moonbeam, you never fail."
Click to expand...
I wouldn't go that far.

😉
Click to expand...

Well then perhaps you will rewrite my post retaining all its original implications but with one tenth the words or could it be that you may only have comprehended one tenth of what I actually said. Some how I can't shake the nagging feeling that it wasn't the number of words or the density or lack thereof, that bothered you so much as it was the implications of the meaning. 😀
Click to expand...
Ok....here goes.

I'm moonbeam. I'm better than you. Please deal with it.

😉
Click to expand...
Exactly, except that you left out the part about how we see others is how we feel we are. The me and the fat bitch you see are your feelings about yourself in the mirror. But don't take it personally, we are all that way. It helps to know it though. 😀

 
Exactly, except that you left out the part about how we see others is how we feel we are. The me and the fat bitch you see are your feelings about yourself in the mirror. But don't take it personally, we are all that way. It helps to know it though
Click to expand...

I think its healthy to rant. Otherwise shiner might take his gun out and start a different form of rage! 😉
 
Good rant, but you are no Maddox. Now I just have to determine if that's a good thing or not 😕 😉
 
Originally posted by: stinger25
Exactly, except that you left out the part about how we see others is how we feel we are. The me and the fat bitch you see are your feelings about yourself in the mirror. But don't take it personally, we are all that way. It helps to know it though
Click to expand...

I think its healthy to rant. Otherwise shiner might take his gun out and start a different form of rage! 😉
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I try to tell my wife that all the time.....she's not buying it though.

😉
 
road rage = getting mad at people for being too STUPID to follow the basic rules of driving

mine are:
1) the left lane goes faster than the right
2) if you see 3 cars pass you on the right side, you are going too freaking slow so speed up or move over
3) speed limit = minimum speed
4) signal judiciously
 
Originally posted by: DeeKnow
let me guess, you made a pass at her and she turned you down..?
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Riiiiight. You're obviously one of the 3 or 4 people on here who haven't seen the thread with my wife's pic in it.

😉
 
Originally posted by: DAPUNISHER
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: FelixDeKat
:cookie:
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Thanks...I'll give it to the fat woman next time I see her in the garage.
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More like she'll take it from you 😛
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Yeah....I was thinking I should sneak it into the pocket of someone I don't like....get on the building emergency system, then annouce that there person X has free cookies with them.

 
Don't you think all the fat, horrible drivers out there have feelings too???


Splendid rant -- 8/10!!


:laugh::shocked:
 
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Ok you big fat manatee of a woman. First off you don't have to stop at every corner in the damn parking garage and signal that you are turning right. You know why? BECAUSE GOING UP THE MOTHER FVCKING PARKING GARAGE YOU CAN ONLY TURN RIGHT YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!!

Secondly you are allowed to drive more than 5mph in the garage; in fact the posted speed limit is 15mph. I'm fairly certain your Chevy Suburban is capable of going faster than 5mph up the slight incline of the garage. Even carrying the weight of your lard filled ass I'm sure it can manage 15mph.

That brings me to point 3. If you can't park your fvkcing car in a spot that has no other cars in either spot to the side in less than 5 tries you NEED TO BUY A FVCKING SMALLER CAR!!!! If you can't park the mother fvcker in one try then don't drive the son of a bitch! I realize that you are a big fat bloated elephant of a woman but I bet you can wedge your fat ass into something smaller than a Suburban. I'm fairly certain you have no kids to haul around in the damn thing. After all....there is not enough beer in the world to make a guy drunk enough to mount your 95 % body fat Himalayan mountain range sized ass. I don't care how long it has been since a guy has been laid and how desperate he is. Hell....I'm betting that some schmuck that has been on death row, in solitary confinement, without having even seen a woman in 10 years would take one look at your giant butter fed ass and puke at the thought of having sex with you.
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EXCELLENT RANT....."your 95 % body fat Himalayan mountain range sized ass" clASSic!!!!
H

 
Originally posted by: shinerburke
Originally posted by: Gravity
Glad you don't carry a pistola in your car?
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Actually I do. I have a concealed carry license and keep a 9mm Smith & Wesson in my car.

Doesn't mean I'm an idiot and I'm going to pull it on every jackass that pisses me off while I'm driving. If I did that the population of Tulsa would shrink by 30%. 😉
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an SW 99?
 
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