Deadbeat wifes son is moving out in Spring...actually forced out

[leckley]

What a read, I can only say it sounds like the son is getting the shaft, not only is he getting kicked out during a time where finding a job is damn near impossible, college degree or not, and have parents that apparently have done little to enlighten their child in the way of the world.

...and before you say he is not your son, you married into agreeing to be his step-father, so don't event try to pull that string and pretend you have no obligation.

Is the son lazy, I am not about to doubt that, but kicking him will not solve anything other than having a son that will resent you for life.

Be as it may, he is lazy and is your job as a parent to coach him and get him moving in the right direction. If he enjoys playing PC games, help him get into college (you may have to pay, but guess what, its nothing new) and moving into something he enjoys.

On that note, you need to take a long hard look at the world in regards to how your son is going to support himself once you do kick him out. I know here I get McDonald staff serving me who should be worrying when they are going to die and not when their next shift is, point being young people are going to have a hell of a time finding a job and minimum wage is not going to cover rent.

You need to help, not punish him.

 

[apac]

What a read, I can only say it sounds like the son is getting the shaft, not only is he getting kicked out during a time where finding a job is damn near impossible, college degree or not, and have parents that apparently have done little to enlighten their child in the way of the world.

...and before you say he is not your son, you married into agreeing to be his step-father, so don't event try to pull that string and pretend you have no obligation.

Is the son lazy, I am not about to doubt that, but kicking him will not solve anything other than having a son that will resent you for life.

Be as it may, he is lazy and is your job as a parent to coach him and get him moving in the right direction. If he enjoys playing PC games, help him get into college (you may have to pay, but guess what, its nothing new) and moving into something he enjoys.

On that note, you need to take a long hard look at the world in regards to how your son is going to support himself once you do kick him out. I know here I get McDonald staff serving me who should be worrying when they are going to die and not when their next shift is, point being young people are going to have a hell of a time finding a job and minimum wage is not going to cover rent.

You need to help, not punish him.

If I recall the original thread it's a case of "I do nothing with my life because I don't have to". Well, now he does. He has plenty of time to find a job and an apartment.

 

[spidey07]

If I recall the original thread it's a case of "I do nothing with my life because I don't have to". Well, now he does. He has plenty of time to find a job and an apartment.

Hunger and shelter are a hell of a motivator.

 

[mrrman]

What a read, I can only say it sounds like the son is getting the shaft, not only is he getting kicked out during a time where finding a job is damn near impossible, college degree or not, and have parents that apparently have done little to enlighten their child in the way of the world.

...and before you say he is not your son, you married into agreeing to be his step-father, so don't event try to pull that string and pretend you have no obligation.

Is the son lazy, I am not about to doubt that, but kicking him will not solve anything other than having a son that will resent you for life.

Be as it may, he is lazy and is your job as a parent to coach him and get him moving in the right direction. If he enjoys playing PC games, help him get into college (you may have to pay, but guess what, its nothing new) and moving into something he enjoys.

On that note, you need to take a long hard look at the world in regards to how your son is going to support himself once you do kick him out. I know here I get McDonald staff serving me who should be worrying when they are going to die and not when their next shift is, point being young people are going to have a hell of a time finding a job and minimum wage is not going to cover rent.

You need to help, not punish him.

I married his mother...I am not a babysitter...hes going to get a hard lesson in life soon as he has no ambition and just wants a free ride. I have no compassion for him as he has done this to himself. I dont call him my stepson as I would never associate with a person of his character...or lack thereof. Like I said he means nothing to me...

 

[leckley]

I married his mother...I am not a babysitter...hes going to get a hard lesson in life soon as he has no ambition and just wants a free ride. I have no compassion for him as he has done this to himself. I dont call him my stepson as I would never associate with a person of his character...or lack thereof. Like I said he means nothing to me...

You have a real issue then, there is no such thing as marrying the mother and forgoing the obligations of her son. If you truly that this was the case, you have to be blind.

As for him meaning nothing to you, again this is on you and not him. Whether you like him for who he is or not, it does not release you of the obligations as a step-father.

 

[Adrenaline]

As someone else stated, WoW is a lifestyle. You had to ruin your wife's son's lifestyle.


WHY !!!???!!!

 

[Kntx]

You have a real issue then, there is no such thing as marrying the mother and forgoing the obligations of her son. If you truly that this was the case, you have to be blind.

As for him meaning nothing to you, again this is on you and not him. Whether you like him for who he is or not, it does not release you of the obligations as a step-father.

The son is 24. He is an adult. I don't think the OP is required to father him.

 

[911paramedic]

How does he play games with a Mac?

 

[yh125d]

How does he play games with a Mac?

He right clicks to install them






OH WAIT

 

[hanoverphist]

sounds to me like you are about to build him his own furnished suite. he will pay for the first few months then leach.

first thing that crossed my mind as well. moms are usually soft that way, he will talk her into letting him stay "just for a little while" and it will end up being longer

 

[ZOOYUKA]

I married his mother...I am not a babysitter...hes going to get a hard lesson in life soon as he has no ambition and just wants a free ride. I have no compassion for him as he has done this to himself. I dont call him my stepson as I would never associate with a person of his character...or lack thereof. Like I said he means nothing to me...

You obviously moved into her and her sons house. Maybe you are the leech.

 

[slackerinabox]

I married his mother...I am not a babysitter...hes going to get a hard lesson in life soon as he has no ambition and just wants a free ride. I have no compassion for him as he has done this to himself. I dont call him my stepson as I would never associate with a person of his character...or lack thereof. Like I said he means nothing to me...

You're a douche bag...

Be an adult.. Be firm but guide him... He obviously doesn't have any positive male role models in his life and your attitude isn't helping.

I'm not saying your should put him on your lap and let him suckle at your teats.. But saying "you have 6 months to find a job... Let's spend an hour working on your resume and CV" can't hurt. Saying that he's not your responsibility is short sighted - he's your wife's responsibility. Yes, he's an adult but, I've seen 40 year old trying to leach off their aging parents. .Deal with it now or deal with it in 20 years, when you're too weak to deal with it.

And the job market is really rough. It's not uncommon for 20-somethings to return home. Grab him by his ear and take him to a target/walmart to work at until he finds a real job. Make him pay 1/4 of his income for rent until he finds his own place.. Be hard assed, but not an ass..

 

[I Saw OJ]

Sounds like you're a manipulative jackoff whose trying to convince his mother to kick her only son out onto the cold harsh street.

 

[Miramonti]

I married his mother...I am not a babysitter...hes going to get a hard lesson in life soon as he has no ambition and just wants a free ride. I have no compassion for him as he has done this to himself. I dont call him my stepson as I would never associate with a person of his character...or lack thereof. Like I said he means nothing to me...

Ouch

 

[Reckoner]

I could understand this if the economy was better, but that just sounds cruel. Have you helped him in any way in regards to finding a job? Any sense of encouragement (which I doubt considering the insipid nature of your posts)? I thought one of the most important values of a family is to help family members get through rough patches in their life, not add to the problem.

 

[slackerinabox]

I'll also add that twenty somethings these days are idiots, myself included. Maybe it's because we're living longer (20 is the new 10?), or our baby boomer parents gave us everything without having to work for it, but we don't mature at the same rate that my parents' generation did. I truly respect and admire that my parents were able to do so much by their 30s, but that's just not how this new generation operates.

23-25 were especially rough years for me... I was out of school, worked a 30k a year job that barely covered my rent. Struggled immensely to find myself and ended up drinking and partying way too much.. I had to get myself out of that myself, but my parents helped when I was unemployed and my world collapsed.

I was able to straighten myself out and got a career, a wife, a house, and a real life - but I feel *old* at 28, yet many of my peers are still drinking/partying their lives away...

Which is not to say you should baby him. Far from it. But it's a rough world out there right now, and a different world from what you grew up in.

 

[RoloMather]

Good luck getting him to move out.

 

[kalrith]

Good luck getting him to move out.

Most likely his deadbeat wife will have a change of heart and think that they're newly remodeled basement is the perfect place for her wonderful baby boy!

 

[God Mode]

I hate parents that instead of slowly teaching and guiding, put up with an agonizing ordeal for so long only to suddenly crack and expect a change the next day. You are selfish shithead that only want pussy.

 

[JD50]

Your wife is a deadbeat?

 

[mrrman]

You obviously moved into her and her sons house. Maybe you are the leech.

I bought a $1M house, they moved in with me

 

[mrrman]

I could understand this if the economy was better, but that just sounds cruel. Have you helped him in any way in regards to finding a job? Any sense of encouragement (which I doubt considering the insipid nature of your posts)? I thought one of the most important values of a family is to help family members get through rough patches in their life, not add to the problem.

I have given him leads to full time jobs and he never goes to them...he simply doesnt want to work...dont make it sound like I am the bad guy here...I am giving him a wakeup call..I couldnt care less if he likes me or not...I still sleep well at night

 

[leckley]

I have given him leads to full time jobs and he never goes to them...he simply doesnt want to work...dont make it sound like I am the bad guy here...I am giving him a wakeup call..I couldnt care less if he likes me or not...I still sleep well at night

That would have been nice to have in the beginning haha.

Then I do agree with you, if you indeed took the time to help the kid out and no matter what he just lets you hanging, then I can feel where you are coming from.

However, I do not feel that excuses you from your obligations as a step-father. Undoubtedly, after you kick him out he will need allot of help, so don't let your dislike for him get in the way of truly helping him out.

 

[foghorn67]

Sounds like you're a manipulative jackoff whose trying to convince his mother to kick her only son out onto the cold harsh street.

Let me guess? you are are 30, and live at home?

 

[joesmoke]

Undoubtedly, after you kick him out he will need allot of help, so don't let your dislike for him get in the way of truly helping him out.

a lot of help?!?! hes kicking him out! how about a bag of rice?! no other help needed. her son needs to realize that grown-ups have to support themselves. even if he can't currently do that, no one will be able to learn that for him. hard times are a reality that every responsible adult has to deal with. to let him continue living at home is doing him more harm than good.