Yea well.. that's something I'm not worried about. Chicks that are far away aren't going to make my list, so I'm not terribly concerned.
Yea well.. that's something I'm not worried about. Chicks that are far away aren't going to make my list, so I'm not terribly concerned.
not necessarily...some are just extremely shy and not very socialable. Still, I'd rather find a girl to date which I didn't find on a website.
Originally posted by: HumblePie
LOL, nice wording but fear of physical pain isn't the same as fear of mental pain. Two different things my friend. I'd rather break a bone then have my heart dejected by someone I really love. Why? A broken bone mends. It's easier to adapt to most physical pains. Mental pains aren't as easy to get over. I still have a hole in my heart from someone I liked and went out with back in high school. It doubt it will ever go away. Think the Ross scenario except the girl hasn't been around for a decadeSo it's not as bad.
As for malls. Yep, those work if you are looking to date a teenager, come off as gay, a solicitor, or a horny stalker. Every time I go to the mall, for people NOT working there this is what I see.
1) Huge gaggles of teenage girls hanging around. Not my type.
2) Girls with boyfriends/husbands. One of which has the look of not really wanting to be there written on their face. If they are shopping for guy stuff, the girls don't want to be there, and if they are shopping for girl stuff the guys don't want to be there.
3) Families/ Mothers or dads with daughters.The daughters can be of any age but finding them over 25 is a bit hard.
4) People looking to get in and get the hell out. They aren't window shopping.
The malls work if you are under 25 for picking up chicks. The younger you are, the better it works. The older you are as a guy, the less likely that is going to happen UNLESS you work there. Getting a job there in a place that caters to men AND women is not a bad idea for a weekend job to hook up with the opposite sex. Make sure it's a place that caters to both. If it caters to men, the only women you will see will not be single as they will be shopping with or for their guys. If it caters to women, you'l come across as GAY to both sides of the fence. You won't be seen as someone worth being with. Just don't work the food departments or the smaller stores unless it's a cell phone booth or the like
Wow man you have some seriiously distorted views of yourself and reality. It sounds like you are trying to justify your failure here. Which is a self fulfilling prophecy. Because once you had one-itis for a girl and got hurt you are using that as some pathetic jsutifcation for your continuing failure in meeting women. I know a lot of ugly dudes that get plenty of chicks because their attitude is right. Getting shot down while trying to meet girls should be fun IMO. They are not rejecting you buddy! They dont even know you yet! They may have a million reasons why your pick up wasnt good enough for them.....just learn from the interaction and take what you've learned to the next one. If you dont try and improve your doomed for failure or the slim pickings at the bottom.
Bottomline man.....the girls are not the problem. you are the problem. Your attitude is the problem. Goto the mall and see how many times you can crash and burn. make a game of it. Its like going to the gym, you wont get results immediately but if you keep at it you will lay the ground work for your success.
judasmachine
Diamond Member
- Sep 15, 2002
- 8,515
- 3
- 81
we know of at least ONE woman here which is NOT interested in dating any guys on here....
that is if she wasn't run off by those treating her like crap
ArmchairAthlete
Diamond Member
- Dec 3, 2002
- 3,763
- 0
- 0
I don't see the need to hate on the online dating sites (and perhaps those who would try them). Whatever helps people find someone. It works for some.
It's lame to generalize the people who use these sites too. There are all sorts of people online/off. It doesn't take long to see what someone is like and move on if they're not your type.
Of course, some people aren't that outgoing (guys and girls) and they find it easier/low stress to talk to someone more indirectly first. Doesn't mean they're not good people.
EDIT: And it was a good point someone made that you can both use online/traditional means of meeting people instead of one or the other.
It's lame to generalize the people who use these sites too. There are all sorts of people online/off. It doesn't take long to see what someone is like and move on if they're not your type.
Of course, some people aren't that outgoing (guys and girls) and they find it easier/low stress to talk to someone more indirectly first. Doesn't mean they're not good people.
EDIT: And it was a good point someone made that you can both use online/traditional means of meeting people instead of one or the other.
hmm i signed up for the first time on a dating site a few weeks ago and already met a few chicks..i'm not "in love" but you can never have too many friends...
i dunno, i hate to say this, but girls on these sites wanna date good looking guys (which is why i'm not having any problems)..if you look fugly do something about it, lose weight, shave, whatever.
i dunno, i hate to say this, but girls on these sites wanna date good looking guys (which is why i'm not having any problems
)..if you look fugly do something about it, lose weight, shave, whatever.Originally posted by: PingSpike
LOL. I agree with what you're saying, but it seems like you could have come up with a more inspiring story than "The time I didn't get a date with the girl that has a boyfriend that I didn't know about"
It happens. You won't always find a girl who's single. However, that should not stop you from trying to be social with her.
I wish.Originally posted by: PingSpike
Its a good thing none of the women you meet in real life have any of those problems.
I probably should have made such a sweeping generalization but my main point was that the percentage of the women with the above characteristics is higher online IME anyways.
Its usually alot easier to weed them out in person though and the % is lower than online.
Ohhhkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy
What are the odds? I guess one has a better chance at winning a multi million dollar lottery than getting picked up by a lady on ATOT.
the reason why you aren't meeting girls and hooking up with them is because you are trying too hard. stop making it your goal to find a girl and hookup with them whenever you go out. just go out and have a good time and let whatever happens happen. life has a funny way of working out, and when you least expect to find someone you will. at least it has been that way in my case.
honestly, just be yourself and be relaxed around women. women are turned off and scared by guys that are on the prowl, and they are much more attracted to a guy that is carefree and just being himself.
honestly, just be yourself and be relaxed around women. women are turned off and scared by guys that are on the prowl, and they are much more attracted to a guy that is carefree and just being himself.
I'll give you the jist of my situation...
In college I had two girlfriends (few dates here and there but it was friendly and didn't go anywhere), both of which ended pretty amicably. Those relationships were both that I 'fell' into... just being friends with them first, doing some studying etc, then they grab my hand to hold and the 'whahhh?' and from there it goes. Both weren't the same but they were similar in this respect... both were friends first and that's why I had an easier time because we are still decent friends and didn't do anything terribly crazy sexually so when I see them it's not that I have weird mental images
Anyhoo fast forward to now... 2 and a half years out of college and I've been on maybe... 3 or 4 dates, none of which clicked. I'm naturally pretty shy around the opposite sex so the idea of "Go to the mall and hit on everybody!" doesn't work for me -- and it won't. It's just one of those things that's hard to change -- though I'm open to change on it... it takes more gusto than I have currently. Anyways, all the dates I went on were with people setting me up, and I did my best to grin and bear it. I work in a male dominated, older environment so dating people from work -- unless I'm a fan of Geriatric Park -- is rather out of the question though lots of women tell me "Oh my niece would love you!" or whatever. I never pursue it because if I wound up banging their neice or whatever ... it wouldn't bode well at work.
I work 12 hour days (with commuting) -- I get in at 8am, work till 5pm. Then I have a 1.5 hour trip home. I get home around 6:30, then eat immediately so I can get to the gym for an hour. I leave to the gym at 8pm and come back at 9 where I watch TV or play on the computer and go to sleep at 11:30 or so. Additionally I work every other Saturday even earlier, so I have to wake up at 4:30am thus, every other Friday night is blown too. So my day to do my chores and laundry and whatnot is Sunday, which leaves every other Saturday a day where I can go out. As you can imagine... I just don't have a lot of time and with the little bit of time I *do* have, I want to make the best of it, which is why I figured online dating might be worth a shot since the 'real life' method takes time, energy, and a different social skillset that I don't possess (at least not now). I would rather do the 'meet and greet' (with PICS! haha) online so I can vet out the "hell nos" to the "maybes". This way on a Saturday that I have time, I can at least go OUT with somebody, instead of figuring out ways to meet somebody.
Admittedly, a large part of my problem is my huge commute to work, so I am working on changing jobs but until then, I do still have the craving for affection that I haven't had in almost 3 years. So that's why I posted the question here. If you want to make fun, feel free. Odds are though, that you are in college or high school and don't understand what time constraints and being at work or on the road for 12 hours a day can do to your social life. Either way, I appreciate the helpful responses thus far and if I informed you any more to my situtation and you have advice, I'd like to hear it.
A change at all, is good for me.
In college I had two girlfriends (few dates here and there but it was friendly and didn't go anywhere), both of which ended pretty amicably. Those relationships were both that I 'fell' into... just being friends with them first, doing some studying etc, then they grab my hand to hold and the 'whahhh?' and from there it goes. Both weren't the same but they were similar in this respect... both were friends first and that's why I had an easier time because we are still decent friends and didn't do anything terribly crazy sexually so when I see them it's not that I have weird mental images
Anyhoo fast forward to now... 2 and a half years out of college and I've been on maybe... 3 or 4 dates, none of which clicked. I'm naturally pretty shy around the opposite sex so the idea of "Go to the mall and hit on everybody!" doesn't work for me -- and it won't. It's just one of those things that's hard to change -- though I'm open to change on it... it takes more gusto than I have currently. Anyways, all the dates I went on were with people setting me up, and I did my best to grin and bear it. I work in a male dominated, older environment so dating people from work -- unless I'm a fan of Geriatric Park -- is rather out of the question though lots of women tell me "Oh my niece would love you!" or whatever. I never pursue it because if I wound up banging their neice or whatever ... it wouldn't bode well at work.
I work 12 hour days (with commuting) -- I get in at 8am, work till 5pm. Then I have a 1.5 hour trip home. I get home around 6:30, then eat immediately so I can get to the gym for an hour. I leave to the gym at 8pm and come back at 9 where I watch TV or play on the computer and go to sleep at 11:30 or so. Additionally I work every other Saturday even earlier, so I have to wake up at 4:30am thus, every other Friday night is blown too. So my day to do my chores and laundry and whatnot is Sunday, which leaves every other Saturday a day where I can go out. As you can imagine... I just don't have a lot of time and with the little bit of time I *do* have, I want to make the best of it, which is why I figured online dating might be worth a shot since the 'real life' method takes time, energy, and a different social skillset that I don't possess (at least not now). I would rather do the 'meet and greet' (with PICS! haha) online so I can vet out the "hell nos" to the "maybes". This way on a Saturday that I have time, I can at least go OUT with somebody, instead of figuring out ways to meet somebody.
Admittedly, a large part of my problem is my huge commute to work, so I am working on changing jobs but until then, I do still have the craving for affection that I haven't had in almost 3 years. So that's why I posted the question here. If you want to make fun, feel free. Odds are though, that you are in college or high school and don't understand what time constraints and being at work or on the road for 12 hours a day can do to your social life. Either way, I appreciate the helpful responses thus far and if I informed you any more to my situtation and you have advice, I'd like to hear it.
A change at all, is good for me.
Toonces
Golden Member
- Feb 5, 2000
- 1,690
- 0
- 76
Originally posted by: wasssup
hmm i signed up for the first time on a dating site a few weeks ago and already met a few chicks..i'm not "in love" but you can never have too many friends...
i dunno, i hate to say this, but girls on these sites wanna date good looking guys (which is why i'm not having any problems
Someone find this guys profile; like FFactoryX:laugh:
Originally posted by: wasssup
hmm i signed up for the first time on a dating site a few weeks ago and already met a few chicks..i'm not "in love" but you can never have too many friends...
i dunno, i hate to say this, but girls on these sites wanna date good looking guys (which is why i'm not having any problems
I don't think I'll have a problem in that department. I'm confident in my looks and appearance and I'm in decent shape. Just a bit shy is all.. it's been a problem a lot of my life but having a religous upbringing and then rebelling against it makes you pretty screwed up.
Oh well, I am ready to move on
Originally posted by: Scribe
Originally posted by: wasssup
hmm i signed up for the first time on a dating site a few weeks ago and already met a few chicks..i'm not "in love" but you can never have too many friends...
i dunno, i hate to say this, but girls on these sites wanna date good looking guys (which is why i'm not having any problems
I don't think I'll have a problem in that department. I'm confident in my looks and appearance and I'm in decent shape. Just a bit shy is all.. it's been a problem a lot of my life but having a religous upbringing and then rebelling against it makes you pretty screwed up.
Oh well, I am ready to move on
Yeah I used to be really shy too..but I guess I just realized a while back sitting in a corner will get you nowhere. That kinda goes for anything in life, not just girls.
NiKeFiDO
Diamond Member
- May 21, 2004
- 3,901
- 1
- 76
everything posted in this here thread...
FTL
also, if you are no longer a horny 21yr old guy, go for the chicks that are around there age. They always go for older guys bc for some reason they are afraid at that age of never meeting mr. right to have 2.3 kids with. you just have to deal with their "im still in college crap" (im sure you see it as crap, im still in college so the POV is a little diff, but we are talking about girls here, so....yeah)
FTL
also, if you are no longer a horny 21yr old guy, go for the chicks that are around there age. They always go for older guys bc for some reason they are afraid at that age of never meeting mr. right to have 2.3 kids with. you just have to deal with their "im still in college crap" (im sure you see it as crap, im still in college so the POV is a little diff, but we are talking about girls here, so....yeah)
Originally posted by: Scribe
I'll give you the jist of my situation...
In college I had two girlfriends (few dates here and there but it was friendly and didn't go anywhere), both of which ended pretty amicably. Those relationships were both that I 'fell' into... just being friends with them first, doing some studying etc, then they grab my hand to hold and the 'whahhh?' and from there it goes. Both weren't the same but they were similar in this respect... both were friends first and that's why I had an easier time because we are still decent friends and didn't do anything terribly crazy sexually so when I see them it's not that I have weird mental images
Anyhoo fast forward to now... 2 and a half years out of college and I've been on maybe... 3 or 4 dates, none of which clicked. I'm naturally pretty shy around the opposite sex so the idea of "Go to the mall and hit on everybody!" doesn't work for me -- and it won't. It's just one of those things that's hard to change -- though I'm open to change on it... it takes more gusto than I have currently. Anyways, all the dates I went on were with people setting me up, and I did my best to grin and bear it. I work in a male dominated, older environment so dating people from work -- unless I'm a fan of Geriatric Park -- is rather out of the question though lots of women tell me "Oh my niece would love you!" or whatever. I never pursue it because if I wound up banging their neice or whatever ... it wouldn't bode well at work.
I work 12 hour days (with commuting) -- I get in at 8am, work till 5pm. Then I have a 1.5 hour trip home. I get home around 6:30, then eat immediately so I can get to the gym for an hour. I leave to the gym at 8pm and come back at 9 where I watch TV or play on the computer and go to sleep at 11:30 or so. Additionally I work every other Saturday even earlier, so I have to wake up at 4:30am thus, every other Friday night is blown too. So my day to do my chores and laundry and whatnot is Sunday, which leaves every other Saturday a day where I can go out. As you can imagine... I just don't have a lot of time and with the little bit of time I *do* have, I want to make the best of it, which is why I figured online dating might be worth a shot since the 'real life' method takes time, energy, and a different social skillset that I don't possess (at least not now). I would rather do the 'meet and greet' (with PICS! haha) online so I can vet out the "hell nos" to the "maybes". This way on a Saturday that I have time, I can at least go OUT with somebody, instead of figuring out ways to meet somebody.
Admittedly, a large part of my problem is my huge commute to work, so I am working on changing jobs but until then, I do still have the craving for affection that I haven't had in almost 3 years. So that's why I posted the question here. If you want to make fun, feel free. Odds are though, that you are in college or high school and don't understand what time constraints and being at work or on the road for 12 hours a day can do to your social life. Either way, I appreciate the helpful responses thus far and if I informed you any more to my situtation and you have advice, I'd like to hear it.
A change at all, is good for me.
so basically your saying your not really committed to make the lifestyle change that you require so you will try once again try to take the easy way out?
suit yourself man.
if you are really serious about meeting women IRL and not online you can PM me and I can suggest some Newbie missions for you to get your approach confidence up as it seems that is your major issue right now.
If not....there really is nothing i can help you with.
edit: you sound like a fat kid who wants to lose wait but doesnt want to goto the gym or eat right so he is gonna try that miracle pill they have on the tv at 2am
terrible advice. Women are attracted to a guy that sees what he wants and isnt afraid to go for it. They are not attracted to the lame chumps that sit around waiting for something to happen.
you are generalizing too much. Not every woman wants the same thing or looking for the same kind of man.
Same goes for the guys. Not all guys look for the same kind of woman.
Me thinks you are used to one particular kind of woman.
I've met several types. Some types interest me, other types don't.
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