**confirmed** kissing on the first date? a-ok!

[Squisher]

<< I have woke up in the morning with a "first date" laying next to me so I really don't think that kissing on thef irst date is a bad thing >>



Yup, and 20+ years later she still won't leave.

 

[jhu]

no. kissing is wrong. any sort of physical contact is wrong. in fact you shouldn't even go as far as to talk to each other or make eye contact. can't be breathing the same air either because the air has touched both of your lips, hence you've kissed by proxy. also if you're in the same room, the light rays will have bounced back and forth between your lips and other parts of your skin. again kissing and touching by proxy.

 

[Ronstang]

<< Yup, and 20+ years later she still won't leave. >>



Maybe in your sad little life but I am not that stupid, haven't you ever heard of a coyote ..................damn it's hard to type with one hand!!!!!!!!!

 

[Jfur]

<<

<< Yup, and 20+ years later she still won't leave. >>



Maybe in your sad little life but I am not that stupid, haven't you ever heard of a coyote ..................damn it's hard to type with one hand!!!!!!!!! >>



Ok, I'm lost. What is a "coyote" and how does it involve hairy palms?

 

[bandXtrb]

<< Never been on a date...I'll worry about if the time ever comes. >>

 

[Squisher]

<< Yup, and 20+ years later she still won't leave. >>

I was speaking of my wife. hehehehe

 

[Kadarin]

<<

<< Yeah I guess so. I am a firm believer that relationships are better when they're more physical. It could be from my own bad experiences, though. With my first girlfriend, I was way too shy and I guess you could say totally passive. Barely made any moves...and then that first kiss was just built up to be too much and it ended up being somewhat awkward. Now I just like being more open...i feel closer to a person when I can be physical and I'm not just talking about sex. You could say physical closeness is a cop-out when compared to real emotional closeness, and it is, but I think the physical aspect (including sex) enhances the emotional side greatly. >>



Okay, I can definitely agree with what you're saying here. In my mind, there are four aspects to a relationship - intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual, in no order of importance. I think that in a good relationship, those needs are being met to the best of each person's ability, bounded by the appropriate levels of how committed the relationship is (e.g. IMO, sex is a physical need that should be met in a relationship with a commitment level of 'married'). >>



HotChic: I'm getting the impression that you're really putting too much thought into this. From this and from other threads I get the impression that you're insecure about relationships because you put so much effort and expectation into what the relationship is supposed to mean that you can't sit back and enjoy it as it happens. (I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend at all, and since I don't know you personally I can't say this with any kind of certainty. It's just an observation.)

I believe that a "first date" kiss doesn't mean anything other than the simple fact that you like the other person (and vice versa), and that there's interest in pursuing further contact. A "first date" kiss is not the same thing as a wedding kiss, or a long, soft, slow, passionate kiss in front of a flickering fireplace in a chateau somewhere in Europe..

Now, if we talk about sex on the first date, that's another matter. It can be appropriate I suppose, but not, I believe, for serious long-term relationships. You should really get to know someone first, before you get hot, naked, and sweaty with them.

 

[Goosemaster]

Seriously, you gang of bangers are heading towards divorces in marriage.....WTF are you going to enjoy marriage if you got the most sacred thing out of it..?

I go out with friends a lot and with women too....I never lose my cool because I am there to have fun....dates are too retstricting for me..there is nothing like seeing how your "lady firiend" acts with her friends...gives her personality away to observe.



Anyways, I have college to finish, and want to keep my baggage in check(No virsuses or AIDS for me)

Seriously, I am good friends that are yes, "bangable," but I keep the hell off...

Anyways, I would feel kind of crabby if I ended up marrying a chick for the sex...what about paying the bills and stuff...I would have to do everything if she wasn't as smart as me...damn that would suck.


I want a smart women as a wife that I can disscuss the world with, have to do my taxes(j/k), visit the world with, and want to here to be intelligent and a dilgent worker...

..oh yes..and bangable too....got to have the entire pie and not just the oiece dealt to you.


Seriously, If you can find all THAT out from the first date...I guess your set..


I can't however, so that is why I'm waiting for that someone...


EDIT: Got no problem with kissing...kinda got off track there...like always

also;... I SUCK at typinmgg

 

[DAPUNISHER]

<< kissing on the first date? >>

I haven't had to think about that in a loooooong time, but yeah I think it'd be O.K. as long as there existed between us a "comfortable with each other" vibe that made it natural and unforced. I've actually kissed every girl I've ever dated(not many since I've been of the market a looooong time) the first night, and I could tell if we were going to have a second date by whether they pressed their body against me or or used their hands as stand offs I guess there's a lot to be said for reading body language.

 

[AreaCode707]

<< HotChic: I'm getting the impression that you're really putting too much thought into this. >>


How does one define too much thought? An amount of thought that becomes detrimental to reality, or should I carry a stopwatch to make sure I don't run over on my allotted thought time?



<< From this and from other threads I get the impression that you're insecure about relationships because you put so much effort and expectation into what the relationship is supposed to mean that you can't sit back and enjoy it as it happens. (I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend at all, and since I don't know you personally I can't say this with any kind of certainty. It's just an observation.) >>


Hardly so. As it happens, I enjoy the effort, as well as the 'as it happens'. I don't consider, and my experiences don't exhibit, insecurity about relationships. My only dating relationship was a year+ thing with a great guy which ended recently on amicable terms - we both grew from that and enjoyed it and I regret neither the relationship nor the ending of it. Nor am I seeking out other more-than-friends relationships, merely enjoying my friends, as it happens. My analytical side tends to surface when I'm writing, and the questions I ask on AT usually have a goal, which might explain the appearance of constant effort and expectation. Generally, things are balanced.



<< I believe that a "first date" kiss doesn't mean anything other than the simple fact that you like the other person (and vice versa), and that there's interest in pursuing further contact. >>


Ah, so there we differ. I put a different definition on what a kiss is, any kiss. Determining which definition is right and which is wrong is an insurmountable task, since they are arbitrarily assigned meanings to an action. I've met others who share my view, as well as those who share your view. Provided that the views are clear between the participants, there shouldn't be any complications. If I'm interested in pursuing further contact, I'm likely to make that known through invitations, or simply saying so.



<< A "first date" kiss is not the same thing as a wedding kiss, or a long, soft, slow, passionate kiss in front of a flickering fireplace in a chateau somewhere in Europe.. >>


Not the same thing... well, I would more likely put them on a continuum of meaning, though ranking them on an ordinal scale would probably be impossible. In your mind, the difference between a first kiss and a wedding kiss is extreme, so that they really aren't anything like the same thing. In my mind, they both indicate love, in varying degrees. Again, the question of who is right and who is wrong is moot, it's arbitrary and personalized to the individuals and the situation.

So, can we agree to not try and decide on what exactly a first kiss means? It means different things to different people.

 

[SinNisTeR]

i thinking kissing is alright on the first date..

 

[Kadarin]

HotChic: Insightful answer



<<

<< HotChic: I'm getting the impression that you're really putting too much thought into this. >>


How does one define too much thought? An amount of thought that becomes detrimental to reality, or should I carry a stopwatch to make sure I don't run over on my allotted thought time? >>



I wasn't thinking in terms of a quantitative measurement of thought/time (so no stopwatch needed), but rather the necessity for such in-depth analysis.



<<

<< From this and from other threads I get the impression that you're insecure about relationships because you put so much effort and expectation into what the relationship is supposed to mean that you can't sit back and enjoy it as it happens. (I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend at all, and since I don't know you personally I can't say this with any kind of certainty. It's just an observation.) >>


Hardly so. As it happens, I enjoy the effort, as well as the 'as it happens'. I don't consider, and my experiences don't exhibit, insecurity about relationships. My only dating relationship was a year+ thing with a great guy which ended recently on amicable terms - we both grew from that and enjoyed it and I regret neither the relationship nor the ending of it. Nor am I seeking out other more-than-friends relationships, merely enjoying my friends, as it happens. My analytical side tends to surface when I'm writing, and the questions I ask on AT usually have a goal, which might explain the appearance of constant effort and expectation. Generally, things are balanced. >>



I'm hoping (and believing) that your "non-analytical side" is as lively and vibrant as your analytical one..



<<

<< I believe that a "first date" kiss doesn't mean anything other than the simple fact that you like the other person (and vice versa), and that there's interest in pursuing further contact. >>


Ah, so there we differ. I put a different definition on what a kiss is, any kiss. Determining which definition is right and which is wrong is an insurmountable task, since they are arbitrarily assigned meanings to an action. I've met others who share my view, as well as those who share your view. Provided that the views are clear between the participants, there shouldn't be any complications. If I'm interested in pursuing further contact, I'm likely to make that known through invitations, or simply saying so. >>



To me, a kiss is the pressing of one's lips against something else (in this case, another's lips). It's not a matter of definition, but of intention and expectation. So what matters really here is communication (doesn't it always?)



<<

<< A "first date" kiss is not the same thing as a wedding kiss, or a long, soft, slow, passionate kiss in front of a flickering fireplace in a chateau somewhere in Europe.. >>


Not the same thing... well, I would more likely put them on a continuum of meaning, though ranking them on an ordinal scale would probably be impossible. In your mind, the difference between a first kiss and a wedding kiss is extreme, so that they really aren't anything like the same thing. In my mind, they both indicate love, in varying degrees. Again, the question of who is right and who is wrong is moot, it's arbitrary and personalized to the individuals and the situation. >>



To me, a kiss != love. Again, it's about intent and communication, since the physical actions of different kinds of kisses are similar (tongue, no tongue, open lips, closed lips, etc.) The idea of a "continuum of meaning" doesn't sound right, other than a simple generalization that kisses tend to imply affection.



<< So, can we agree to not try and decide on what exactly a first kiss means? It means different things to different people. >>

 

[Don Vito Corleone]

I always strive for the third input on a first date. It helps to have goals . . .

 

[melly]

great answers! great discussion!

 

[erikiksaz]

Judging from the MTV show, Dismissed, it looks as if kissing on the first date is a given, if not a must. It's a "ask and you shall receive" typa deal nowadays, i guess.

 

[ViperMagic]

I've been on one date. I never kissed her. Another girl, who I have no offical relationship besides 'friend', i was making out with last night. Like someone before me said, if it feels right, I go for it

 

[Eli]

I don't see anything wrong with it. If it feels right, why not?

With my girlfriend.. Well, we didn't really go on a date.. but we had our first kiss on the 2nd day we met.. hehe...

 

[yllus]

<< Seriously, you gang of bangers are heading towards divorces in marriage.....WTF are you going to enjoy marriage if you got the most sacred thing out of it..? >>

Whoa there! Kiss on the first date --> sex in relationships --> No point in marriage anymore?

Your entire post negates this one sentence. You want to marry a woman to discuss and visit the world with, have to do your taxes, be intelligent and a diligent worker. But once you kiss or have sex with her outside of marriage that means nothing anymore, because you've ruined it by being intimate?


<< I go out with friends a lot and with women too....I never lose my cool because I am there to have fun....dates are too restricting for me...there is nothing like seeing how your "lady friend" acts with her friends...gives her personality away to observe. >>

Sounds like you're just young and can't handle the supposed stresses of dating. And nothing quite gives you insight on a person's character than approaching, at any pace you wish, total intimacy with them.

 

[Hammer]

ok, that had me laughing



<< i've bang a couple girls on the first date.... turns out they are sluts.....good thing they give out condoms in my high school. >>



I think its ok, its just a kiss. I kissed girls that I just met before, its not really that big of a deal.

 

[Pliablemoose]

I was a teenager in the 70's & early 80's, If I didn't get a lot more than a kiss, there was never a second date

 

[zeruty]

<< I don't see anything wrong with it. If it feels right, why not?

With my girlfriend.. Well, we didn't really go on a date.. but we had our first kiss on the 2nd day we met.. hehe... >>



I never had a date with my last girlfriend...
I met her in jan of 2001 at my brothers wedding (well saw her, never talked to her), and the second time was in november....talked to her on the net for a few weeks, then went over to my brother's apartment (this girl was my brother and his wife's roomate) and boinked her that first night

she was really just an inconsiderate slut though :disgust:

 

[LongCoolMother]

i dont think its wrong... i made out with my gf before getting to know each other real well...it turned out fine...

 

[Cyberian]

[/i] >>

Ok, I'm lost. What is a "coyote" and how does it involve hairy palms?[/i] >>

Coyote ugly: after a night of drinking you wake up next to someone that you dont know lying on your arm that is so ugly you'd rather chew off your arm than wake them up. Like coyotes chew off their own leg to escape from a steel trap.

 

[riced2max]

I kiss on the first date, and depending on the girl, I will also go to bed, I know I might be young for this, but to this date, penetration has only occured for one person, we were going out for nearly 8 months. Other times, it's just foreplay or oral. I'm not proud of this by any means, and everytime I look back I wish I hadn't done it, but when the time comes it's so hard to pull back. So I have decided to not go on dates at all, and have been this way for 5 months going strong. And Lorean doesn't count!

Ofcourse, where I live it's hard to find anything to do but have sex, it's just too boring around here...

 

[GasX]

<< i find that the majority of people think it is wrong to kiss on the first date. >>

You need to get out more...