College bills, who pays?

[vi edit]

Help yes. Full ride no. My parents split it 50/50 with me. They picked up the room & board & books. I picked up tuition through scholarships, work study, and loans.

It's a good agreement. Your parents have a vested interest in your education and have a right to kick your ass if you are screwing around. Plus, if do jack around it's your own pocketbook that is being affected too since you'll be paying on those loans when you get out.

I also do not agree with the statement "Since my parents didn't pay for it I couldn't go to the best school". To that I say bullsh!t. The creme rises to the top. If you are good enough to get into that school you would have gotten scholarships or a sponsor to get there(or just sucked it up and take loans). Or, if you really were that bright of a kid, the school wouldn't have made much of a choice since you likely would do well with a degree from any number of schools.

The biggest factor in a sucessful career is you. Not your degree. A degree from a lofty school will get you some looks, but you still have to sell yourself. A school name won't do that for you.

 

[imported_Imp]

Even though my parents/family are paying my tuition (not books), I have to say that parents should have no obligation to pay for it. They should help out if they feel like it, but little Jimmy shouldn't feel cheated if they don't help. If you don't qualify for assistance, then move out. Life is hard and cruel, helps to get a kickstart. If they don't, they'll be on their 7th year of post-secondary school, living at home and jobless (sibling).

 

[meltdown75]

If the parents help, great. If the kid doesn't need any help, great.

There is no standard though, everyone's situation will be different.

 

[MrChad]

I paid my way through college by way of scholarships. My parents probably could have / would have contributed, but they were in the middle of a divorce at the time and there would have been financial concerns. Because my education was paid in full, my mom was able to pay for my brother's education 5 years later.

I hope that I can give my children the same benefit when they get to that age.

 

[vi edit]

If you don't qualify for assistance, then move out.

Unfortunately it's not that easy. My wife didn't receive a single penny from her parents. She was 19 at the time and was essentially a full blown resident of another state than her parents. She had a drivers license, a job, and rented an apartment in a different state. There was nothing she could do to drop the "dependent" status short of having to go through a huge legal battle that would have cost more money than it saved.

 

[imported_Imp]

Originally posted by: vi_edit

If you don't qualify for assistance, then move out.

Unfortunately it's not that easy. My wife didn't receive a single penny from her parents. She was 19 at the time and was essentially a full blown resident of another state than her parents. She had a drivers license, a job, and rented an apartment in a different state. There was nothing she could do to drop the "dependent" status short of having to go through a huge legal battle that would have cost more money than it saved.

That stinks. Glad she made it through even though the system failed. However, kids still shouldn't start complaining to parents about how they ruined their lives and such for not paying up.

 

[Kirby]

My college is being paid for by scholarship and prepaid fund my state started. My parents bought the prepaid thing and had to pay for my meal plan and some spending when I ran out (summer job). But I super appreciative of the money they give and I'm consciense about what I spend it on. It works out pretty good, so I'm sure I'll do something similar with my kids.

 

[Flyback]

Originally posted by: JEDIYoda

Originally posted by: Flyback
We made a simple deal: they would assist me and in return I'd let them meet their future grandchildren when they arrive and visit them at the old age home if/when they get there

No one owes you anything like Ronstang said. You gotta earn that right to see the grandkids, baby.

so had they not assistd you then can we inffer they would not have been able to meet there future grandchildren???

They have to earn that privilege. No one owes them anything.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Flyback

Originally posted by: JEDIYoda

Originally posted by: Flyback
We made a simple deal: they would assist me and in return I'd let them meet their future grandchildren when they arrive and visit them at the old age home if/when they get there

No one owes you anything like Ronstang said. You gotta earn that right to see the grandkids, baby.

so had they not assistd you then can we inffer they would not have been able to meet there future grandchildren???

They have to earn that privilege. No one owes them anything.

god i hope you are trolling.

both the children and Grandparents get a huge benefit from seeing each other.

Growing up i was close to my grandfather and i benefited from it. My kids see there grandfather as much as we can.

to refuse them the right. man i couldn't imagine that unless there was drugs or alcohol involved.

 

[txrandom]

Originally posted by: Naustica
My parents picked up my entire college costs including my spending money. Total cost was more than 120k. I didn't really appreciate it when I was in college. Now I do.

I will do the same for my daughter. She will get anything I can provide for her.

Same my parents pay for everything plus give me some spending money. I don't plan on paying them back monetarily...although I'd be nice to buy them a big purchase they need when/if I have enough money.

I plan on paying for my children's college.

 

[piasabird]

Well this is a two edged sword. You could pay nothing and kick your kids out of the house at 18.

However, if you are barely making enough to stay alive, then maybe the child should go fill our a FAFSA (appl for Fed Stud Aid). The problem is that maybe you make just enough where they will not get much help. So you could pay or help out with their education expenses or you could do nothing. Then if you do nothing maybe your child will still be living at home at age 40 or become a drug addict. If your child can not find a job then maybe you end up paying one way or the other.

I work for a community college so I got a break on this. At least I paid for a good 2 years of education to help them out. I told them after age 22 they will have to go get a student loan or something. If they go to school close by they can drive to school every day and not pay room and board at least. So they have to be selective how they spend their money.

 

[mattpegher]

I had to take out loans and work full time summers to pay for undergrad. Med school was 100% loans. My parents did not have the ability to help. I should be able to help my kids with college but I don't think it should be the parents obligation.

 

[AmpedSilence]

My parents paid for undergrad in full and I paid for my MS in full. I was going to take loans for my housing and personal expenses for my MS, but my parents felt bad so they volunteered to pay for rent. I took on a part-time job to pay for utils, book, and other expenses.

But as with previous asian comments, there is an expectation that they will be living with once I am married and stable and they are retired; there will be no nursing home there future. So, it is in their best interest that they make sure that i am properly setup for life, since their quality of life after they retire is based upon how successful i am.

Only this past weekend did i learn that they were using the housing ATM to pay for my college and other things. It made me feel bad for a bit, but then i realized that in the end; everything they have is going to be mine; including all assets and debt (I am the oldest of two).

I will do the same for my kids, but being in America now, that expectation to live with them will probably not be there. But its fine, I already have a savings plan for how i will save for their education and if it works out they will never have the loans to ever deal with that have so delayed my life.

 

[imported_Imp]

Originally posted by: txrandom

Originally posted by: Naustica
My parents picked up my entire college costs including my spending money. Total cost was more than 120k. I didn't really appreciate it when I was in college. Now I do.

I will do the same for my daughter. She will get anything I can provide for her.

Same my parents pay for everything plus give me some spending money. I don't plan on paying them back monetarily...although I'd be nice to buy them a big purchase they need when/if I have enough money.

I plan on paying for my children's college.

There's absolutely no need to pay parents back for tuition, but I still plan on doing it. As appreciative as I am and will continue to be, I personally feel the need to pay up the debt to a degree (no interest). Just something about having that hang over me the rest of my life, and the fact that I can do it in a year or two once I get a full-time job.

 

[Tiamat]

Originally posted by: piasabird
Well this is a two edged sword. You could pay nothing and kick your kids out of the house at 18.

However, if you are barely making enough to stay alive, then maybe the child should go fill our a FAFSA (appl for Fed Stud Aid). The problem is that maybe you make just enough where they will not get much help. So you could pay or help out with their education expenses or you could do nothing. Then if you do nothing maybe your child will still be living at home at age 40 or become a drug addict. If your child can not find a job then maybe you end up paying one way or the other.

Problem with FAFSA is that they automatically calculate that your parents will pay a certain amount of money based on their earnings. You cannot separate yourself from your parent's salary until you graduate from undergrad, turn 24 years of age, or a couple of other misc. things. So, if you parents make a combined salary of more than 80k$, you can get pretty screwed on the FAFSA. The only way to help with this situation (parents not paying, but make enough so FAFSA gets messed up) is merit-based scholarships, private loans, working part-time jobs. Also, if your parents have a good amount of assets, you get screwed over as well (my financial aid counselor told me they take into account home value, retirement funds, etc.).

Best thing for me and a couple of my buddies is Grad School. With Stipends and tuition remission, we still apply for FAFSA (but not attached to parents!) and we get the maximum allotment of federal loans (8.5k sub, ~11k unsub).

I invest the subsidized into high interest cds, but my buddies use all of the federal loans to wipe out their private loans from undergrad and credit card debt as well. So far, this method is working out well.

 

[Syrch]

Originally posted by: everman
Great if they can afford it, but kids are not entitled to it.

 

[NuroMancer]

Originally posted by: everman
Great if they can afford it, but kids are not entitled to it.

 

[Azraele]

It's nice if the parents can help out, but it's by no means something the kid is entitled to.

 

[erub]

Originally posted by: gotsmack
College should be paid for by the person going, but it is appreciated if the parents can help out.

It kinda sucks that I had to work to pay off part of my own education (most of it was paid by my grandfather), all of my books and spending money, but my sisters' are fully paid for (we all went/go to state school).

When I have kids, I'm going to give them enough money to go to State + books and room & board. If they want to go elsewhere they have to pay the difference out of their own pockets (unless it is a top 25 school). I think that is fair.

Its kinda funny how my mom keeps telling me that I have to give her money even though she didn't pay for my education. I set up an allotment of 10% of net a month to shut her up, but she demands 20% of my net salary. I'd be an idiot if I agreed to that.

wow, you come from a messed up family. Your mother is demanding money from you? For what reason?

Its always interesting when one child receives more money than another in a family..I've seen this a few times. I never really understood that, my parents tried to make things equal. I ended up costing far less for school, for instance, my sister went to private college and medical school, of which they put her thru both, and me I had free education in undergrad/grad, they just paid living. But they encouraged me to spend a lot this summer on my study abroad trip, as my sister's study abroad semester cost a lot more. Net result is that we will be both be graduating with no loans, of which I am thankful for.

OTOH, some friends of mine, they "are forced to" take out large loans while their parents pay for another child at a similar cost school. These people though tend to take some pride in the fact that their parents arent paying for them for some reason. Especially when I know the lifestyle of the parents and their jobs..their parents can afford it. Very strange to me..

 

[miniMUNCH]

I paid my way through undergrad...went to a Cal st. school that cost a whole $1600 per year.

Got my B.S. and then worked for a while.

Decided to go back to school and am getting paid about 23,000 USD a year as a Ph.D. student at a top 10 engineering school.


My strong advice... don't go into debt for undergrad (or accrue as little debt as possible)... it is not worth it.

The courses and books are the same, and the professors more or less know the same sh!t, whether it's MIT, Stanford or some little state college in South Dakota or California. In fact, small schools can often be much better for undergrad education because the profs are there to teach, not run research groups and try to win accolades for themselves and the university.


That all being said... parents should help if they can. They should not get a 2nd mortgage on the house, etc. though... that kinda stuff is just crazy.

 

[Special K]

Originally posted by: miniMUNCH
I paid my way through undergrad...went to a Cal st. school that cost a whole $1600 per year.

Got my B.S. and then worked for a while.

Decided to go back to school and am getting paid about 23,000 USD a year as a Ph.D. student at a top 10 engineering school.


My strong advice... don't go into debt for undergrad (or accrue as little debt as possible)... it is not worth it.

The courses and books are the same, and the professors more or less know the same sh!t, whether it's MIT, Stanford or some little state college in South Dakota or California. In fact, small schools can often be much better for undergrad education because the profs are there to teach, not run research groups and try to win accolades for themselves and the university.


That all being said... parents should help if they can. They should not get a 2nd mortgage on the house, etc. though... that kinda stuff is just crazy.

It could be hard to get into a top grad school if you went to a no-name for undergrad though.

 

[Acanthus]

Originally posted by: Tiamat

Originally posted by: piasabird
Well this is a two edged sword. You could pay nothing and kick your kids out of the house at 18.

However, if you are barely making enough to stay alive, then maybe the child should go fill our a FAFSA (appl for Fed Stud Aid). The problem is that maybe you make just enough where they will not get much help. So you could pay or help out with their education expenses or you could do nothing. Then if you do nothing maybe your child will still be living at home at age 40 or become a drug addict. If your child can not find a job then maybe you end up paying one way or the other.

Problem with FAFSA is that they automatically calculate that your parents will pay a certain amount of money based on their earnings. You cannot separate yourself from your parent's salary until you graduate from undergrad, turn 24 years of age, or a couple of other misc. things. So, if you parents make a combined salary of more than 80k$, you can get pretty screwed on the FAFSA. The only way to help with this situation (parents not paying, but make enough so FAFSA gets messed up) is merit-based scholarships, private loans, working part-time jobs. Also, if your parents have a good amount of assets, you get screwed over as well (my financial aid counselor told me they take into account home value, retirement funds, etc.).

Best thing for me and a couple of my buddies is Grad School. With Stipends and tuition remission, we still apply for FAFSA (but not attached to parents!) and we get the maximum allotment of federal loans (8.5k sub, ~11k unsub).

I invest the subsidized into high interest cds, but my buddies use all of the federal loans to wipe out their private loans from undergrad and credit card debt as well. So far, this method is working out well.

This is the case with me, i couldnt begin college until i turned 24 last year because my parents income was too high and they refused to even co-sign a loan so i could pay my own way. FAFSA aid was $0 until i turned 24.

 

[thereaderrabbit]

"Should parents pay for their kids college?"

Only if they want to. My parents decided to pitch in, but it shouldn't be required or expected. I'm very grateful to them.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Naustica

Originally posted by: ViRGE
A kid without a college degree is practically a waste in modern society, and college no longer comes cheap; somehow or another it's in the best interests of everyone if the kid goes to college.

College degree is not the answer to everything. There are many productive and successful people without a college degree and that's not going to change in the future. You're forgetting one big avenue for those who don't want or need college degree: Trades. Demand for skilled tradesmen far outpace the available talent. With so many people today clueless and lazy to build, install, and fix things, skill trades are booming. Just look at the number of handymen services you see today. People in the past wouldn't be caught dead hiring someone to fix simple stuff around the house. Now people don't even know the simple tools in a tool box set.

This is very true. A guy I went to high school with went and got an associates degree in business and then went on to become a jouneyman plumber last I heard. I thought that was an excellent path to take. Plumbers make good money, and they likely always will!

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Naustica

Originally posted by: ViRGE
A kid without a college degree is practically a waste in modern society, and college no longer comes cheap; somehow or another it's in the best interests of everyone if the kid goes to college.

College degree is not the answer to everything. There are many productive and successful people without a college degree and that's not going to change in the future. You're forgetting one big avenue for those who don't want or need college degree: Trades. Demand for skilled tradesmen far outpace the available talent. With so many people today clueless and lazy to build, install, and fix things, skill trades are booming. Just look at the number of handymen services you see today. People in the past wouldn't be caught dead hiring someone to fix simple stuff around the house. Now people don't even know the simple tools in a tool box set.

This is very true. A guy I went to high school with went and got an associates degree in business and then went on to become a jouneyman plumber last I heard. I thought that was an excellent path to take. Plumbers make good money, and they likely always will!

There's his problem.