Cheating Friend - Thanks For The Advice

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: y2kc

Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Additional details:

1) I am absolutely sure
2) Close enough that we spend evenings with them 1-2 times per week
3) The cheatee has expressed to me multiple times how upset they get when their spouse is checking out people and flirting

Sounds like he\she will find out soon enough on their own.

Consider this: You tell the person being cheated on, they "give you up" as the source... now you're in the middle of it. you don't want that, trust me.

These things tend to work themselves out. If you MUST say something, say it to the cheater....

I agree that they tend to work themselves out. If this guy is consistently buying hookers, the wife will find out without you having to say anything. She's already suspicious of him, probably because she caught him before.

If you put yourself into this, you will definitely lose the friendship of one or both parties. Definitely the one you rat on, and if he convinces her to stay, you'll have lost both of them. I'm all for talking to the cheater and then popping him upside the head for putting you in the middle by cheating in front of you.

 

[JDMnAR1]

Definitely talk to the cheater and let him know that you don't appreciate the position that he has put you in by being so indiscreet. Also let him know that you are lousy at keeping secrets, so unless he wants his laundry aired at an innoportune time while you are out as couples, he needs to come clean with his new bride. Finally, ensure that he knows that you and our wife would gladly particpate in a threeway with his wife if she wants some revenge sex. 😀 (OK, so that last part may not be required, but I bet it would get his attention.)

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Let's say you and your wife are friends with another couple. Then lets say that we find out that one of the people from the other couple has cheated on their spouse. Do you tell the other spouse since they are your friend? Do you just talk to the one that cheated and say WTF?

I predict many MYOB responses and I'm trying to, however...the cheater is doing this right in front of me.

How do you know for sure?

Let's just say that we were at an establishment drinking beers and he went off with someone in the back. Then came back and needed to borrow money...then he was bragging.

Additional Details

Additional details:

-We are close enough friends that we spend evenings with them 1-2 times per week

-The cheatee has expressed to me multiple times how upset they get when their spouse is checking out people and flirting

sounds like he paid for a lap dance in the private room? If so say nothing,what happens at the strip club is supposed to stay at the strip club.Besides,chances are good he's been stepping out all along anyway and she probably married him thinking she'd change him.

btw,next times she complains to you,I'dredirect her to the person she should be addressing,her husband.

 

[GuitarDaddy]

1. The next time your with them as a couple pose the same theoretical question to them that you posed in the OP here, ask them what they would do.

2. Sit back and enjoy the show

3. Call the cops if necessary to stop the ensuing bloodshed

4. Repeat as necessary

 

[Juddog]

Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

 

[KillyKillall]

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

I hope your single! And yes, anything envolving a "happy ending" with anyone other than your spouse is cheating

 

[maziwanka]

it is a mind your own business thing.

BUT, i would fvcking talk to the cheater if i were you. make it clear that it upsets you and that you think s/he is a douchebag.

 

[Luthien]

If his wife is hot and he is cheating on her then tell her and say if she wants a revenge shag your up for it.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

 

[Canai]

Originally posted by: Citrix
maybe they are swingers.

oh and mind your own business.

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

Oh, well in that case. Mexico, hookers, it's just entertainment right?:disgust: NOT!!!!!!!

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

Wait..... you were in Mexico?

I think you definitely need to stay out of this.

 

[KillyKillall]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

 

[pontifex]

well for all we know your definition of cheating could be looking at porn where my definition could be sex. so yeah, more specific would help

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

 

[KillyKillall]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

So you're saying it would be ok for your husband to go to mexico and bang a hooker as long as one of his guy friends don't tell you?

 

[ghostman]

I think of it like this. If I knew (absolutely KNEW) someone cheated on my friend, I'd tell my friend...regardless of whether the cheater is also my friend. The cheater might be bringing back diseases back and I'd be a crappy friend not to warn him/her about it. Will sh!t hit the fan? Yes. Will you be caught in the middle? Very possibly. Will you lose the friend? Maybe. But it's for your friend's own good.

That's not to say you shouldn't talk to the cheater first or that you shouldn't be discreet about it, but a friend is a friend. So the question for this situation is, how much of a friend is the cheatee?

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

You sure it wasn't a Donkey?

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Well now that all the details are out. It kinda sounds like your trying to cleanse your concience, here. You are somewhat an accomplice, why didn't you say something at the time? Like "heah, WTF are you doing?"

Pretty tough to bring it up now

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

wow, so you're basically sayign that this is ok as long as its a one time thing?
so if you're husband would bang a different hooker or woman every week, you'd be ok with it? or is it just banging 1 hooker and thats it is ok?

hes only 2 months into the marriage too. if you need different poon already, there might be a problem.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

So you're saying it would be ok for your husband to go to mexico and bang a hooker as long as one of his guy friends don't tell you?

What I'm saying is this, chances are good that even if you tell this guy's wife odds are she won't believe you,after all,you were doing what exactly when this happened,sitting in the corner of the club reading your bible?

Mind your business,it's just a bit of sex from someone he'll never see again

 

[KillyKillall]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
Well now that all the details are out. It kinda sounds like your trying to cleanse your concience, here. You are somewhat an accomplice, why didn't you say something at the time? Like "heah, WTF are you doing?"

Pretty tough to bring it up now

Nah..when that started happening I left and went outside. I thought they were just joking around in negotiations.. I never thought he would actually do it. When I came back to the table and asked where he was...they were like..."he's in the back F'ing that stripper for XX dollars."

I didn't talk to him much for the rest of the trip after that, so I think he knows I'm not cool with it. I'm also pretty sure he has 0 guilt what so ever.

 

[KillyKillall]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

There is a big difference in hanging out in a strip club with some guys having beers and getting laid in the back of it.

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: KillyKillall

Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

wow, so you're basically sayign that this is ok as long as its a one time thing?
so if you're husband would bang a different hooker or woman every week, you'd be ok with it? or is it just banging 1 hooker and thats it is ok?

hes only 2 months into the marriage too. if you need different poon already, there might be a problem.

True but rating him out will only cause the snitch problems where as the Cheaters wife will catch on sooner or later.