Cheating Friend - Thanks For The Advice

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Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
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www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
Well now that all the details are out. It kinda sounds like your trying to cleanse your concience, here. You are somewhat an accomplice, why didn't you say something at the time? Like "heah, WTF are you doing?"

Pretty tough to bring it up now

Nah..when that started happening I left and went outside. I thought they were just joking around in negotiations.. I never thought he would actually do it. When I came back to the table and asked where he was...they were like..."he's in the back F'ing that stripper for XX dollars."

I didn't talk to him much for the rest of the trip after that, so I think he knows I'm not cool with it. I'm also pretty sure he has 0 guilt what so ever.

Well,then you now know you're not comfortable going out with this dude on guy's night's out... tell him why if he asks you to go again but as to the rest,I'd just keep quiet.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
15
81
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

So you're saying it would be ok for your husband to go to mexico and bang a hooker as long as one of his guy friends don't tell you?


What I'm saying is this, chances are good that even if you tell this guy's wife odds are she won't believe you,after all,you were doing what exactly when this happened,sitting in the corner of the club reading your bible?

Mind your business,it's just a bit of sex from someone he'll never see again

This is a really interesting point of view to hear from a woman who is married.
 

pontifex

Lifer
Dec 5, 2000
43,804
46
91
Originally posted by: Red Dawn

True but rating him out will only cause the snitch problems where as the Cheaters wife will catch on sooner or later.

you and geekbabe are married, right? or is that someone else?
you better take advantage of this! lol
 

KillyKillall

Diamond Member
Jul 1, 2004
4,415
0
0
Originally posted by: pontifex
you and geekbabe are married, right? or is that someone else?
you better take advantage of this! lol

Not me. Someone is lucky apparently...or really unlucky actually. I like to think my wife cares whether or not I sleep with other people, because I sure as hell care if she does.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

So you're saying it would be ok for your husband to go to mexico and bang a hooker as long as one of his guy friends don't tell you?


What I'm saying is this, chances are good that even if you tell this guy's wife odds are she won't believe you,after all,you were doing what exactly when this happened,sitting in the corner of the club reading your bible?

Mind your business,it's just a bit of sex from someone he'll never see again

This is a really interesting point of view to hear from a woman who is married.



given the choice between a full blown affair and having the husband score a bit of strange from some tart in a strip club I think I'd go with the latter option as would most pragmatic married women.
 

pontifex

Lifer
Dec 5, 2000
43,804
46
91
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: pontifex
you and geekbabe are married, right? or is that someone else?
you better take advantage of this! lol

Not me. Someone is lucky apparently...or really unlucky actually. I like to think my wife cares whether or not I sleep with other people, because I sure as hell care if she does.

that was directed to red dawn
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: pontifex
you and geekbabe are married, right? or is that someone else?
you better take advantage of this! lol

Not me. Someone is lucky apparently...or really unlucky actually. I like to think my wife cares whether or not I sleep with other people, because I sure as hell care if she does.

I am a realist,marriage is about many wonderful things unfortunately,hot,passionate sex isn't on the list in many cases. The big question is do you destroy an otherwise wonderful marriage over an occasional indiscreation that constitutes no threat to your home or family? I vote no.
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: pontifex
you and geekbabe are married, right? or is that someone else?
you better take advantage of this! lol

Not me. Someone is lucky apparently...or really unlucky actually. I like to think my wife cares whether or not I sleep with other people, because I sure as hell care if she does.

that was directed to red dawn
Nah she has nothing to worry about, I'm too fscking ugly.
 

AMDZen

Lifer
Apr 15, 2004
12,589
0
76
Wow. Geekbabe. Wow.

Which begs another question though. Was it just you two men in mexico, or could he have gone to the hotel afterward and had is newlywed wife? If he had been without her for a week and needed a bit, thats one thing - but if he got some and then went to the hotel and got in bed with his wife, that might be another.

Although, still - now that the details have come to light, I completely agree with everything Geekbabe said - I had to look about 3 times to make sure it was her saying it. Wow
 

JDMnAR1

Lifer
May 12, 2003
11,984
1
0
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Geekbabe

There is a big difference in hanging out in a strip club with some guys having beers and getting laid in the back of it.

he got a bit of strange,he had some fun,big deal,it's not like he killed somebody,lighten up.


Would it change your opinion if you learned that he contracted something from said hooker?
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: AMDZen
Wow. Geekbabe. Wow.

Which begs another question though. Was it just you two men in mexico, or could he have gone to the hotel afterward and had is newlywed wife? If he had been without her for a week and needed a bit, thats one thing - but if he got some and then went to the hotel and got in bed with his wife, that might be another.

Although, still - now that the details have come to light, I completely agree with everything Geekbabe said - I had to look about 3 times to make sure it was her saying it. Wow

The 1st yr of marriage can be very rough,the guy might have felt it his last chance to rebel,blow off steam,only time will tell if he's a jerk in other ways. There's no win in his friend being a snitch though,no win at all.
 

AMDZen

Lifer
Apr 15, 2004
12,589
0
76
Originally posted by: JDMnAR1
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Geekbabe

There is a big difference in hanging out in a strip club with some guys having beers and getting laid in the back of it.

he got a bit of strange,he had some fun,big deal,it's not like he killed somebody,lighten up.


Would it change your opinion if you learned that he contracted something from said hooker?

I think it would be an obvious assumption that he was smart enough to use protection. Not that he wouldn't contract something any way, but personally I'd double wrap and then get tested when I get home. As long as you put the condom on correctly, the chances are very low
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
15
81
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: pontifex
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Juddog
Adding up the story... I'm a bit confused. Are you basically saying he received a lap dance and had a happy ending? I don't know if that's even considered cheating.

Add in the fact that we were in Mexico and they blatently came up and said...XX dollars for BJ...XX dollars for sex. He negotiated the latter.

so he had sex with a mexican hooker or what? can you give us specifics here?

if he had a lapdance, then no, i don't see it as cheating. if he banged some mexican hookers, then yes, thats cheating.

Yes... I know for a fact that he banged a mexican stripper (hooker) for cash. I didn't know that I had to be so specific to define cheating to everyone....

and the man code says that you are to forget that it ever happened! It's not like he's carrying on an ongoing affair with a co-worker,a friend of the wife's or her sister.

So you're saying it would be ok for your husband to go to mexico and bang a hooker as long as one of his guy friends don't tell you?


What I'm saying is this, chances are good that even if you tell this guy's wife odds are she won't believe you,after all,you were doing what exactly when this happened,sitting in the corner of the club reading your bible?

Mind your business,it's just a bit of sex from someone he'll never see again

This is a really interesting point of view to hear from a woman who is married.



given the choice between a full blown affair and having the husband score a bit of strange from some tart in a strip club I think I'd go with the latter option as would most pragmatic married women.

But isn't that valuing the marriage itself over the reasons why you married the guy (hypothetically speaking, not meaning to actually apply this to RD) in the first place? Do you want to stay married to a guy who would do something like that? Yes, it's better than a full-blown affair, but isn't it still a dishonest betrayal of your love and trust?

On the other hand, if the two of you were to give each other license to do these things, then there's no betrayal, and it's all good provided you're safe and discreet about it.
 

KillyKillall

Diamond Member
Jul 1, 2004
4,415
0
0
Coming from a home where my father was invovled in an "occasional indiscreation that constitutes no threat to your home or family" - I'm going to have to completely disagree.

There are always consequences for items such as these, but they just might be further down the road. Things like this encourage future behavior that is worse.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: JDMnAR1
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Geekbabe

There is a big difference in hanging out in a strip club with some guys having beers and getting laid in the back of it.

he got a bit of strange,he had some fun,big deal,it's not like he killed somebody,lighten up.


Would it change your opinion if you learned that he contracted something from said hooker?


this guy's wife obviously about his habits regularly so she obviously knew going in that sexual fidelity wasn't this fellow's long suite.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Coming from a home where my father was invovled in an "occasional indiscreation that constitutes no threat to your home or family" - I'm going to have to completely disagree.

There are always consequences for items such as these, but they just might be further down the road. Things like this encourage future behavior that is worse.

funny,how the morals come out AFTER the strip club visit.
 

AMDZen

Lifer
Apr 15, 2004
12,589
0
76
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: AMDZen
Wow. Geekbabe. Wow.

Which begs another question though. Was it just you two men in mexico, or could he have gone to the hotel afterward and had is newlywed wife? If he had been without her for a week and needed a bit, thats one thing - but if he got some and then went to the hotel and got in bed with his wife, that might be another.

Although, still - now that the details have come to light, I completely agree with everything Geekbabe said - I had to look about 3 times to make sure it was her saying it. Wow

The 1st yr of marriage can be very rough,the guy might have felt it his last chance to rebel,blow off steam,only time will tell if he's a jerk in other ways. There's no win in his friend being a snitch though,no win at all.

Once again, I completely agree. Women should all be so understanding. And frankly, if it were me (putting myself in the spot of the cheater) I'd admit it to my wife and tell her from the get go.

:Q In fact, your so understanding and familiar with the man code, maybe your not a women at all :p jk
 

Dacalo

Diamond Member
Mar 31, 2000
8,778
3
76
Guys, Geekbabe is not condoning cheating, she is painting the big picture. Although I would never cheat on my wife when I get married, I hope she would have Geekbabe's wisdom.

Red Dawn is a lucky man.
 

KillyKillall

Diamond Member
Jul 1, 2004
4,415
0
0
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Coming from a home where my father was invovled in an "occasional indiscreation that constitutes no threat to your home or family" - I'm going to have to completely disagree.

There are always consequences for items such as these, but they just might be further down the road. Things like this encourage future behavior that is worse.

funny,how the morals come out AFTER the strip club visit.

I grew up in Vegas... I have no problem with men or women going to strip clubs. Then again, this is the first one I've been to in over 8 years. I DO have a problem with f'king a hooker in mexico.

Going to a strip club is not the same morally as f'king a hooker. I'm not trying to be morally just and say I'm better than him..I'm only saying that guys shouldn't commit adultry.
 

AMDZen

Lifer
Apr 15, 2004
12,589
0
76
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Coming from a home where my father was invovled in an "occasional indiscreation that constitutes no threat to your home or family" - I'm going to have to completely disagree.

There are always consequences for items such as these, but they just might be further down the road. Things like this encourage future behavior that is worse.

It would be important to know the guy then, because as Geekbabe said - maybe it was a one time thing and he felt that a women he most assuredly would never see again would be the best way to do this.

Personally, I'm the kind of guy that would want to do something like that at my bachelor party because I'd believe that it would get it out of my system - and that I would probably never do it again.

It depends on the person
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: KillyKillall
Coming from a home where my father was invovled in an "occasional indiscreation that constitutes no threat to your home or family" - I'm going to have to completely disagree.

There are always consequences for items such as these, but they just might be further down the road. Things like this encourage future behavior that is worse.

funny,how the morals come out AFTER the strip club visit.

I grew up in Vegas... I have no problem with men or women going to strip clubs. Then again, this is the first one I've been to in over 8 years. I DO have a problem with f'king a hooker in mexico.

Going to a strip club is not the same morally as f'king a hooker. I'm not trying to be morally just and say I'm better than him..I'm only saying that guys shouldn't commit adultry.
But you are better than him
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,389
1,778
126
Trust me....the Clamydia you GOT in Mexico, won't necessarily STAY in Mexico.

Tell the cheatee ASAP.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,199
2,452
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: AMDZen
Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Originally posted by: AMDZen
Wow. Geekbabe. Wow.

Which begs another question though. Was it just you two men in mexico, or could he have gone to the hotel afterward and had is newlywed wife? If he had been without her for a week and needed a bit, thats one thing - but if he got some and then went to the hotel and got in bed with his wife, that might be another.

Although, still - now that the details have come to light, I completely agree with everything Geekbabe said - I had to look about 3 times to make sure it was her saying it. Wow

The 1st yr of marriage can be very rough,the guy might have felt it his last chance to rebel,blow off steam,only time will tell if he's a jerk in other ways. There's no win in his friend being a snitch though,no win at all.

Once again, I completely agree. Women should all be so understanding. And frankly, if it were me (putting myself in the spot of the cheater) I'd admit it to my wife and tell her from the get go.

:Q In fact, your so understanding and familiar with the man code, maybe your not a women at all :p jk

Here's the hook... you didn't think you boys get off totally scott free did you?:p

if you engage the services of a pro, most wives dont want to know about...ever, if you have any guilty little feelings or feel the need to brag,you take it elsewhere.

There's a difference between allowing for human failabilty in order to keep an otherwise great marriage and in being a total fool,if you catch my drift.