Awkward Starbucks conversation

[Lamont Burns]

Pics so we can judge?

 

[hiromizu]

Originally posted by: Lamont Burns
Pics so we can judge?

I'm not that smooth bro.

 

[RichardE]

Originally posted by: Lamont Burns
Pics so we can judge?

of the bulge

 

[rasczak]

Originally posted by: K1052

Originally posted by: rasczak

Originally posted by: K1052

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Hahaha

Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.

Oh and no I don't like my women chunky and white, white sure but not chunky

I think someone just admitted they're a chub chaser. :Q

i thought "chub, was short for a hard on? if so :shocked:

Or a to describe having a fetish for the plus size folks

hehe. **plus size** hehe.

 

[Lamont Burns]

Originally posted by: hiromizu

Originally posted by: Lamont Burns
Pics so we can judge?

I'm not that smooth bro.

Maybe she will be a frequent customer and you will get another chance... or perhaps you scarred her and she will go somewhere else for her coffee needs.

 

[AntiFreze]

http://humanballooncd2005.trip...e-pregnant-belly-1.jpg

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Hahaha

Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.

Oh and no I don't like my women chunky and white, white sure but not chunky

"I like my wine, like I like my women; ready to pass out."
--- Robin Williams

MotionMan

 

[Gothgar]

isnt this totally a guy rule? how could you have broken guy rule 12, article 13, note a: Never under any circumstances should one assume a women is pregnant. If you think she is, she is not, never mention anything about it unless someone else has confirmed said pregnancy within the last 15 minutes.

You must be new to this, make sure you brush up on your rulebook.

 

[MotionMan]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
So I'm getting my usual morning coffee when I notice the girl in front of me in the line. She also notices the excessively handsome young lad behind her and she smiles good morning.

Very cute but has a bulge.

So charmingly I congratulate her on her pregnancy and ask how many months and she tells me that she isn't pregnant.

I thought I've learned this lesson when I did the same thing when I met my current gf. Sigh.

I never ask about a woman's pregnancy, especially someone I do not know (There are exceptions: I have, in the past, asked my wife and my sister-in-law about their pregnancies)

I also never ask how someone's parent/sibling/spouse is doing unless I am sure they are still alive (and even then, I may not ask).

Talk about the weather instead - it's safer.

MotionMan

 

[skyking]

"16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN - By Dave Barry"
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment."

 

[NFS4]

You can never EVER go back to the Starbucks again.

 

[hiromizu]

Originally posted by: skyking
"16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN - By Dave Barry"
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment."

Well it took him 50 years

 

[hiromizu]

Originally posted by: NFS4
You can never EVER go back to the Starbucks again.

No problem. I'll just go to the one across the street then and make the same mistake. Apparently there's over 200 stores in the 5 mile radius. heh.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Hahaha

Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.

Oh and no I don't like my women chunky and white, white sure but not chunky

I like my women like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Hahaha

Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.

Oh and no I don't like my women chunky and white, white sure but not chunky

I like my women like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

ROFL that had me in tears I was laughing so hard.

As for the rest of you I added at that I do not like chunky women because I knew thats where it would go lol.

 

[hiromizu]

Originally posted by: djheater

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Hahaha

Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.

Oh and no I don't like my women chunky and white, white sure but not chunky

I like my women like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

Sounds like a Patrick Bateman quote.

 

[skyking]

Originally posted by: hiromizu

Originally posted by: skyking
"16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN - By Dave Barry"
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment."

Well it took him 50 years

Here's the whole thing:

"16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN - By Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that deep down
inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes , and it's up to
women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with."

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: kranky
Yeah, I think most people have had to learn that lesson the hard way.

But it only takes one incident for it to sink in.

Or, there are those of us who will learn from someone else's mistakes.

 

[Aharami]

you probably just drove her straight into a diet

 

[Gothgar]

Originally posted by: Aharami
you probably just drove her straight into a diet

Yeah in 6 months she will be thin and hotter than ever and then she wont even look at you any more.

 

[m1ldslide1]

Originally posted by: hiromizu
It was a bit of a bad call. I just carried on my way as if nothing happened. I'm sure this wasn't her first time either.

Yeah, it probably was her first time hearing that. She's likely crying and eating ice cream at this very moment. Generally people understand that you never suggest a woman is pregnant in anything you say or do. Even if she was obviously pregnant, there's no reason to have that be part of your "hello" or any sort of polite conversation. It may be obvious, but that's personal business, and folks don't usually launch right into it from hello.

 

[NFS4]

Originally posted by: Aharami
you probably just drove her straight into a diet

LOL, it may be the best thing that ever happened to her...

 

[NFS4]

On second thought, maybe she IS pregnant, but she just doesn't know it yet.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: Amused
I thought everyone knew you NEVER assume pregnancy. NEVER.

yeah, well, welcome to the internet

 

[StormRider]

Originally posted by: Lola
OUCH. cannot recover from that.
When in doubt, always assume fat, not preggo.

So, we're supposed to ask how long have you been fat and then it's okay?