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Awkward Starbucks conversation

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Irony is that you can't tell women that they look great today because that automatically assumes she doesn't look great every other day.
 
Originally posted by: hiromizu
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Hahaha

Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.

Oh and no I don't like my women chunky and white, white sure but not chunky 😛
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I like my women like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.
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Sounds like a Patrick Bateman quote.
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"my God... he even has a watermark, that son of a bitch."
 
Originally posted by: hiromizu
Irony is that you can't tell women that they look great today because that automatically assumes she doesn't look great every other day.
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Dad said, " don't ever tell them they look good in that dress. Instead, tell them that dress looks really good on you".
 
"When are you expecting...?"
"I'm not pregnant."
"...them to finish renovating the building across the street, it's been going on forever!"
 
Originally posted by: waffleironhead
The only time you can comment on a woman being pregnant is if you actually see the baby coming out. The rest of the time stfu.
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ha ha thats a truth to live by.
 
I can't believe no one came up with this theory yet.

She lied about her pregnancy so you can't admonish her for nourishing her unborn fetus with inordinate amounts of caffeine. She knows she is guilty.
 
If you are incosiderate enough to be fat in public, I feel we should have the right to congratulate you on your pregnancy. Don't get all uppity with me just because you don't happen to be knocked up. Wouldn't you rather I thought you were a whore who doesn't know how to work a condom than a fat cow who lacks the self-control to put down the fork? Jesus Christ, there's no pleasing some people...
 
Originally posted by: djheater
Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Hahaha

Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.

Oh and no I don't like my women chunky and white, white sure but not chunky 😛
Click to expand...

I like my women like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.
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If you grind them up before freezing them, they get dried out and nasty though.
 
Originally posted by: zinfamous
Originally posted by: Amused
I thought everyone knew you NEVER assume pregnancy. NEVER.
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Well on the subway you often see someone with a rounded bulge and want to offer them your seat. But if you do it and they're just fat, you probably get a smack. If you don't offer everyone else might think you're a dick. When I'm absocertain I offer. When I'm on the fence I get up and stand by the doors, she can sit if she wants.
 
hahah, u just made my day, thank you!! thats good reason for her to stop buying those expensive, and fatty frappacinos, or whatever you call them!
 
Hiromizu,
You just made her year.

Now, she'll obsess that she was called fat......fat enough to be viewed as pregnant. LOL.

Guaranteed that this woman is obsessing in a very sad way.
 
Originally posted by: hiromizu
so I thought just to be nice, I'd say something positive and uplifting about her pregnancy.
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What? Like, "What got into you?"

 
Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Today I had one of those with a coworker. We were talking and she said one of her friends always says "I like my women like my coffee, hot and black", so without thinking too much I respond with "I like my women like my cottage cheese, chunky and white". We sat in silence for a few after that one.
Click to expand...

Heard the pregnancy one before but this is LULZ.

 
LOL

I once asked my Sister in Law if she was Pregnant...she reminded me that she had her tubes tied years ago and I vaguely recalled being told....I backtracked fast, but the damage was done.
 
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