++ ATOT official NEF thread part IV ++

[rudeguy]

[Bob Morton has stormed off]
Officer Lewis: Sorry, Sarge, I fucked up.
Sgt. Reed: Forget it, kid. This guy's a serious asshole.

 

[rudeguy]

RoboCop: [after shooting perp in groin] Your move, creep.

 

[sdifox]

Ash: What are you? Are you me?
Evil Ash: Whad are do? Are do be? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk!
Ash: Why ya doin' this, huh?
Evil Ash: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Ash... and you're GOOD Ash! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes!
[begins to sucker-punch Ash]
Evil Ash: Goody little TWO-SHOES! Goody little TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE!
[honk honk honk]
Evil Ash: GOODY LITTLE TWO-SHOES! GOODY LITTLE...
Ash: [cocks shotgun and points it under Evil Ash's nose]
[nods head and shoots him]
Ash: Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

 

[rudeguy]

Sgt. Reed: Your client's a scumbag, you're a scumbag, and scumbags see the judge on Monday morning. Now get out of my office, and take laughing boy with you!

 

[rudeguy]

Rape Victim: Oh God, I was so scared! Thank you!
RoboCop: Madame, you have suffered an emotional shock. I will notify a rape crisis center.
Is this interestin

 

[rudeguy]

Bob Morton: What are your Prime Directives?
RoboCop: Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law.

 

[sdifox]

Wiseman: When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?
Ash: Yeah, basically.
Wiseman: Did you speak the exact words?
Ash: Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.

 

[rudeguy]

Commercial Voice-Over: It's back! Big is back, because bigger is better than ever! 6000 SUX: An American Tradition!
[caption on screen says "An American Tradition. 8.2 MPG"]

 

[sdifox]

[Directors cut ending: Ash emerges from a cave where he's been asleep for 700 years. He looks overjoyed]
Ash: Ha ha. Manufactured parts. Ha...
[Look of joy turns to horror as he sees a world devastated by nuclear war]
Ash: No. No. Oh God I slept too long!
Ash: [as the credits start] Hahahahahahahahaha...

 

[rudeguy]

RoboCop: [to store owners, after throwing perp through ice chest] Thank you for your cooperation. Good night.

 

[rudeguy]

RoboCop: Book him!
Sgt. Reed: What's the charge?
RoboCop: He's a cop killer.

 

[rudeguy]

The Old Man: [held at gunpoint by Jones] Dick, you're *fired*!
[Directive 4 limitation against Jones is cancelled]
RoboCop: Thank you.
[shoots Jones]

 

[rudeguy]

Emil: Smoke?
Dougy: Nah. You know those things'll kill you.
Emil: Yeah. You wanna live forever?

 

[rudeguy]

Clarence: [to Murphy] Are you a good cop, hotshot? Why, sure you are! you gotta be some kind of GREAT cop, coming in here all by yourself. Where's your partner?
[whacking him behind knees with shotgun]
Clarence: Where's your partner?
Joe Cox: [walkling in] Well guys, the other one was upstairs. She was sweeeeet, mmph-mmm-mmm. I took her out, Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
[rest of gang laughs along with Joe]
Clarence: [kicking Murphy to floor] I'll bet that really pisses you off.
[looks closely at him]
Clarence: You probably don't think I'm a very nice guy... do ya?
Murphy: Buddy, I think you're slime
[the gang laugh in unison]

 

[rudeguy]

Clarence Boddicker: Hey Emil! How's the Gray Bar Motel?
Emil: Not bad.
[shows his prison uniform]
Emil: They let me keep the shirt. Nobody popped my cherry!
Leon Nash: Emil how ya doin' man, good to see ya!
Joe Cox: [Joe pulls up in a stolen car] Hey hey! First they me out of jail for free, then look what I find in the prison parking lot: but a brand new 6000 SUX, still got the factory sticker on it!
Leon Nash: Hey Clarence, Joey's got a car just like yours man!
Joe Cox: Yo Clarence, what do you think buddy!
Joe Cox: [seeing Clarence take out a Cobra Assault cannon] What you got there Clarence? Whoa! A new toy! Can I play?
Clarence Boddicker: Huh? Watch this...
[Clarence aims the assault cannon at Joe's 6000SUX]
Joe Cox: Wait a minute, Clarence! Clarence!
Joe Cox: [BOOM, the car explodes into flames] Ah, shit! Fuck!
Clarence Boddicker: Nice car Joe!
[makes a kissy kissy face]
Clarence Boddicker: Cobra Assault Cannon, state of the art, bang bang!
Emil: [taking the launcher from Clarence and blowing up a store with it]
[shouts]
Emil: I like it!
Emil: [Joe tries to take the launcher from Emil] Give it up, faggit little man!
Emil: No butthole, get your own!
Clarence Boddicker: [gives Joe the cannon and both him and Emil blow up random things, then Clarence uses the GPS map to find Robocop] He's at the steel mill. Let's go.
Leon Nash: [yelling to Emil and Joe] Alright, cut the horseshit! We're moving out.
Clarence Boddicker: Come on Emil, get your ass in the van!

 

[rudeguy]

Joe Cox: [shouts] Ha ha, the wreckin' crew is here, where is that metallic mother...
Clarence: Zip it up! Nothing fancy, just kill him!

 

[rudeguy]

Emil: I like it!

 

[rudeguy]

Kaplan: I don't like it either Reed, but listen.
Sgt. Reed: You listen to me, you asshole! You're talking about shutting down a major metropolitan police force! Without cops, this city would tear itself apart!

 

[rudeguy]

[at the police station]
Slimey Lawyer: Attempted murder? It's not like he killed someone. This is a clear violation of my client's civil rights.
Bail Bondsman: Make it aggravated assault and I can make bail in cash, now.
Sgt. Reed: [angrily] Your client's a scumbag, you're a scumbag, and scumbags see the judge on Monday morning. Now get out of my office, and take laughing boy with you!

 

[rudeguy]

[after blowing Murphy's hand off]
Clarence: Well give the man a hand!

 

[rudeguy]

[Dragging Leon Nash by the hair]
Robocop: Let's talk.

 

[rudeguy]

Robocop: Murphy had a wife and son. What happened to them?
Officer Lewis: Well, after the funeral she moved away.
Robocop: Where did they go?
Officer Lewis: She thought you were dead, Murphy. She started over again.
Robocop: I can feel them... but I can't remember them.
[Lewis extends her arm to comfort Murphy, but stops short of touching him]
Robocop: Leave me alone.

 

[rudeguy]

Dick Jones: I had a guaranteed military sale with ED209! Renovation program! Spare parts for 25 years! Who cares if it worked or not!

 

[rudeguy]

Dick Jones: Did you think you think you were an ordinary cop? You're our product. And we can't very well have our products turning against us, can we?

 

[rudeguy]

Miller: First, don't fuck with me. I'm a desperate man! And second, I want some fresh coffee. And third, I want a recount! And no matter how it turns out, I want my old job back!