ATOT Consensus needed! Cheating neighbor with a deployed spouse

[saymyname]

Originally posted by: bluemax

Originally posted by: bleeb
I say don't get involved, when the husband returns be prepared to enjoy the free show.

It's that kind of attitude that makes America such a great place. :roll:

Why did you single out America? You think this doesn't happen in other countries?! LOL

As a side note I'm really surprised how many people voted MYOB. There's no loss in saying something since they're not even friends. It would just be the right thing to do. I would simply be carefull about it since you don't know for sure about anything and doing the right thing isn't alwasy easy. Nevertheless, this looks and sounds like a duck so I think we're all confident it's a duck. You don't want to be in the middle of any disputes when it hits the fan. It could potentially get ugly. I can't imagine it getting uglier than a guy who just spent a few years killing people and having bullets flying past his head though and walking in on his cheating wife. I'd like to think that the MYOB people would agree that telling the wife to stop or telling the husband what's going on is far better than him catching her in the act.

One thing is certain: If she's going to cheat on him then that poor guy deserves to know. I can't imagine going away to war and coming home to a lie. That guy deserves better.

 

[MainFramed]

Originally posted by: mzkhadir

Originally posted by: skyking

Originally posted by: MX2times

Originally posted by: waggy
MYOB

yeah i would agree. in most circumstances. much like he said in his post. however, i too would want to know if my wife was cheating while i was away. whats it going to hurt, to at least let the guy know when he returns or show him a picture. explaining to him "hey i'd want to know too".

 

[DAGTA]

It isn't right, but reality is that most people give into temptation. If you leave your spouse alone for a long time, the odds of him/her cheating are going to be higher. That's just life.

 

[Laminator]

Originally posted by: DAGTA
Regarding #2. Let's say a woman is cheating on her boyfriend/husband and that guy is your friend. You approach him and tell him what is going on. He confronts her. They go through a few months of issues, during which time she hates you and he isn't in much contact. After the few months, they decide to work things out and give it another chance... they're chum happy again but now they want nothing to do with you.

#3. It isn't my job to police the world. I very much agree with Ghandhi's words, "You must be the change you want to see in the world." Rather than going around pointing out other people's problems, it's better to focus on your own, make yourself a better person, and live the example.

RE: #2. If your friend wants nothing to do with you after you told him what had happened, then he's an asshole, scum, and not your friend. And he completely deserves his whore of a woman. I'm sorry if I seem harsh but for the most part, from what I've seen, cheaters never change. Adults never change, either.

RE: #3. That only works if people follow your example. Otherwise, no one is benefiting but yourself. If you can make a big difference with little effort on your part, then it's a no-brainer. You could inform the guy anonymously; send him a note or something. As a military officer, he absolutely should know what is going on. Also, retribution awaits for his unfaithful wife and her guilty partner. Passive anything never works against trolls. It's always time for ACTION.

 

[ShotgunSteven]

Originally posted by: classy

Originally posted by: ShotgunSteven
I made no reply to Classy, so I am not sure what you're talking about there. The fact that you seem to think he might actually be credible on any topic pretty much marks you for a brain-dead git, though. :laugh: His reputation is such that if he said the sky was blue, I would go outside to see if it had actually turned green.

Now thats a laugh. Credible? Who in the hell on a forum board full of strangers is credible? Hey look I could care less that you a few others don't like the fact I am outspoken againt the bs slung out here. I tell it straight. Period.

Actually, a lot of them are credible.

In your case, dmcowen674 is more credible than you.

 

[dredd2929]

First I would make sure this lady is having an affair. What appears to be happening may not be what is actually happening. The guy that comes over may be a friend of hers or her husband that is just keeping her company while her husband is away. Holding hands doesn't guarantee that a romantic relationship exists. While IMO this is totally inappropriate for her to spend time alone with another man (friend or not), some people feel differently.

I would identify the man to Security Forces and ask them to notify the deployed officer. If it's a situation he's aware of, then it's all good. If he doesn't know the guy, then he can get his wife to 'fess up himself.

I will say that if she is cheating on him, what a sad situation. A man goes to war to defend his wife's freedom and the freedom of his country, and she goes and does this. Very sad.

 

[mudboy]

I spent 9 years of my life as a submariner, much of that time at sea, with a number of extended deployments. On my last deployment (6 months, Gulf War I), 13 guys were served divorce papers on the pier when we returned, including a sailor that worked for me. It was rough.

One of my shore stations was in Norfolk (which I hated). When a surface fleet pulled out for deployment, it amazed me how many more "single" women there were in the bars, etc. during the following nights. The vast majority of these were, in fact, Navy spouses who figured that since the dog was away, the pussy would play.

It happens. I suppose the lesson is, if you're in the .mil and are expecting to be deplyed, make sure you married the right woman.

As far as your situation goes, keep your nose out of it. It'll either be a case of he already knows and is turning a blind eye, or she'll slip up and he'll find out on his own.

Pete

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: mudboy
I spent 9 years of my life as a submariner, much of that time at sea, with a number of extended deployments. On my last deployment (6 months, Gulf War I), 13 guys were served divorce papers on the pier when we returned, including a sailor that worked for me. It was rough.

One of my shore stations was in Norfolk (which I hated). When a surface fleet pulled out for deployment, it amazed me how many more "single" women there were in the bars, etc. during the following nights. The vast majority of these were, in fact, Navy spouses who figured that since the dog was away, the pussy would play.

It happens. I suppose the lesson is, if you're in the .mil and are expecting to be deplyed, make sure you married the right woman.

As far as your situation goes, keep your nose out of it. It'll either be a case of he already knows and is turning a blind eye, or she'll slip up and he'll find out on his own.

Pete

while that sucks and all i would venture to guess there are also military men who are overseas cheating on their wives that are at home just the same.

 

[Doboji]

I would absolutely get the evidence and get it to the poor guy getting cheated on...

Ask yourself this question... if the situation was reversed... what would you want?

-Max

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: mudboy
I spent 9 years of my life as a submariner, much of that time at sea, with a number of extended deployments. On my last deployment (6 months, Gulf War I), 13 guys were served divorce papers on the pier when we returned, including a sailor that worked for me. It was rough.

One of my shore stations was in Norfolk (which I hated). When a surface fleet pulled out for deployment, it amazed me how many more "single" women there were in the bars, etc. during the following nights. The vast majority of these were, in fact, Navy spouses who figured that since the dog was away, the pussy would play.

It happens. I suppose the lesson is, if you're in the .mil and are expecting to be deplyed, make sure you married the right woman.

As far as your situation goes, keep your nose out of it. It'll either be a case of he already knows and is turning a blind eye, or she'll slip up and he'll find out on his own.

Pete

while that sucks and all i would venture to guess there are also military men who are overseas cheating on their wives that are at home just the same.

I imagine there's probably less cheating by the guys stationed in the desert than you might think.... unless you consider Mary Palmer, and International Club magazine cheating...

 

[b0mbrman]

That's a tough one.

I personally know multiple wives or girlfriends who are cheating/have cheated (no, not with me)...and well...I guess I don't say anything because all people involved are grown-ups.

 

[DLT3C]

Why do you need a consensus? The result of your doing will be yours to deal with, not these people's.

I would say that "putting yourself in the other guy's position" sounds logical. However, you will never be able to.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Ugly bump for bumping uglies. :evil:

- M4H

 

[Ramma2]

The itsy bitsy [ ] (fill in the blank)

 

[George P Burdell]

Stay out of it.

 

[Amused]

Any updates to this story?

 

[AMDZen]

As others have said, I would tattle but do it anonymously. Like mail him a letter without a return address with some pictures of the other guy with his wife.

Normally I'm a MYOB kind of person too, but these days women need to go down.

 

[EMPshockwave82]

bust the B!TCH out if you can prove it.


she knew what she was getting into when he signed up / they got married

 

[poopaskoopa]

Put yourself in the guy's shoes. How would you like your neighbors to treat you? Personally I'd like for you to provide lots of evidence to the poor sap and report back the aftermath to ATOT, but that might be a bit intrusive. But stuff like this will be a good read on an internet forum.

 

[BirdDad]

definatly take a photo of them holding hands,cheaters are the worst