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Atkins Induction Diarrhea: When Does It End?<<UPDATE#11: South Beach Diet, Here Comes My Digestive Tract!!!>>

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Originally posted by: JJWalker
That's it. My ass can't take it anymore and I am officially off the Atkins diet.

I've swung so far in the other direction that I practically need a shoe horn to finagle a turd out.

I quit!
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LOL!

I'm laughing so hard, one of my employees came into my office to see if I was ok. I couldn't breath and was crying from laughing so hard.

Other people's misery is funny. 😉
 
Originally posted by: SludgeFactory
Try some Fiber One or All Bran cereal if it fits in the allowable carb limit. Psyllium husks are even more hardcore if Fiber One has too many carbs.
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Hmmmmm, psyllium husks. I've never heard of them, but I will investigate.
 
Originally posted by: Wingznut
Actually, you don't have to eat this way "forever." As you lose weight and gain muscle, your metabolism will change... You'll be able to intake more carbs, and still not gain weight.

But yes... You'll never be able to go back to your old habits, if you want to keep the weight off.
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I suggest going here: http://home.howstuffworks.com/diet.htm
to find out more about how to balance yourself once you have the weight off. Counting calories is (IMHO) the best way to maintain weight once you have lost it, and slowly build a decent physique for yourself.
 
Dont give up yet, especially after losing 10 pounds. Give your body some time to adjust to the new dietary intake, you will be back to "normal" in no time.
 
Originally posted by: Sluggo
Dont give up yet, especially after losing 10 pounds. Give your body some time to adjust to the new dietary intake, you will be back to "normal" in no time.
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Actually, I've lost more than 10 pounds. But I'm just going to take a week off and see if I can't get my system back in check and hopefully resume the diet with better success.

I don't think I've used a toilet plunger more than I have in the past 4 days.

 
JJ,
You have the most creative ways of describing your, ummm, digestive health.
I've been on Atkins for 8 days now. No ill effects so far.
The first couple of days were tough. I really craved bread and potatos. And I felt really weak.
But it's much better now. My cravings aren't bad at all. I don't feel hungry. My energy level is back to normal. And I no longer feel like I need a nap in the afternoons.
I've lost about 6 pounds so far.
 
Originally posted by: Shanti

JJ, You have the most creative ways of describing your, ummm, digestive health.
Click to expand...


My worst bowel movement ever was, well, let me entertain you: Back when I was 20-21, I got into this pepper eating habit. I would eat jalapenos and banana peppers whenever I could. Tasty little guys, and the hotter the better. Anyway, one night before going out, my friends pull out a small jar from fridge that contained habaneras. I'd heard of them but had never actually eaten one. I was quite intrigued. They offered me one which I bit down and swallowed. Mighty tasty. Seemed more tangy than hot. I asked for couple more and their eyes got as big as saucers as they looked at each other and said, "Yeah, sure!" I grab two more and ate them. Apparently the first one that I ate was a dud because this time it was instant pain. Wow! Those are some goddamned hot-assed peppers. Water, water, water, and milk still didn't cool it down. Finally, after about 30 minutes my eyes stopped watering and I was fine. Or so I thought. We went to a club and around 2AM my stomach began making some really strange noises. I played it off, went home, and went to bed. Around 6AM, I woke up with that "I GOTTA CRAP!!!!" alert. I got up and hot footed to the bathroom. First turd, slick as could be, scooted out of my ass and I screamed. SCREAMED! As in, I woke up my roommate sleeping downstairs. My ass felt like it was on frigging fire, and more needed to come out. You want to talk about turds of dread, well, here it is, right front and center. Excruciating pepper fire, shooting from my ass. I tried to put the fire out by dabbing at it with toilet paper and at the same time, I desperately tried to fill the tub next to the can full of cold water to help. No go. Anyway, an hour and a half later, it was finally over. Moral: no matter how much you like peppers, don't eat habaneras.
 
Hmm, Bowel stories. Fascinating.

Ok man, go run out and buy some Citrucel and start taking it a few times a day. It works. LOL.
 
Originally posted by: Feldenak
I have nothing constructive to add to this thread. I'm too busy laughing and making my employees wonder about my sanity. 🙂
Click to expand...

ROTFLMAO!!!
 
Originally posted by: JJWalker
Originally posted by: Shanti

JJ, You have the most creative ways of describing your, ummm, digestive health.
Click to expand...

My ass felt like it was on frigging fire, and more needed to come out. You want to talk about turds of dread, well, here it is, right front and center. Excruciating pepper fire, shooting from my ass. I tried to put the fire out by dabbing at it with toilet paper and at the same time, I desperately tried to fill the tub next to the can full of cold water to help. No go. Anyway, an hour and a half later, it was finally over. Moral: no matter how much you like peppers, don't eat habaneras.
Click to expand...

LOL, similar thing here--but didn't go out that night. The more generic moral... what goes in spicy hot, comes out spicy hot...
 
Originally posted by: Wag

Ok man, go run out and buy some Citrucel and start taking it a few times a day. It works. LOL.
Click to expand...


Yeah, I do plan on rejoining the Atkins diet this weekend with renewed vigor. I've researched several different angles to keep my fiber intake to a maximum while still staying within the diet guidelines. We'll see how it goes.

 
Originally posted by: JJWalker
Originally posted by: Shanti

JJ, You have the most creative ways of describing your, ummm, digestive health.
Click to expand...


My worst bowel movement ever was, well, let me entertain you: Back when I was 20-21, I got into this pepper eating habit. I would eat jalapenos and banana peppers whenever I could. Tasty little guys, and the hotter the better. Anyway, one night before going out, my friends pull out a small jar from fridge that contained habaneras. I'd heard of them but had never actually eaten one. I was quite intrigued. They offered me one which I bit down and swallowed. Mighty tasty. Seemed more tangy than hot. I asked for couple more and their eyes got as big as saucers as they looked at each other and said, "Yeah, sure!" I grab two more and ate them. Apparently the first one that I ate was a dud because this time it was instant pain. Wow! Those are some goddamned hot-assed peppers. Water, water, water, and milk still didn't cool it down. Finally, after about 30 minutes my eyes stopped watering and I was fine. Or so I thought. We went to a club and around 2AM my stomach began making some really strange noises. I played it off, went home, and went to bed. Around 6AM, I woke up with that "I GOTTA CRAP!!!!" alert. I got up and hot footed to the bathroom. First turd, slick as could be, scooted out of my ass and I screamed. SCREAMED! As in, I woke up my roommate sleeping downstairs. My ass felt like it was on frigging fire, and more needed to come out. You want to talk about turds of dread, well, here it is, right front and center. Excruciating pepper fire, shooting from my ass. I tried to put the fire out by dabbing at it with toilet paper and at the same time, I desperately tried to fill the tub next to the can full of cold water to help. No go. Anyway, an hour and a half later, it was finally over. Moral: no matter how much you like peppers, don't eat habaneras.
Click to expand...

Dr. Allison Reed: Can we get you anything?
Harry Block: Ice cream...I want some ice cream.
Dr. Allison Reed: Ice cream, ok, what flavor do you want?
Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
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😉
 
<<UPDATE#5: Back On Atkins: Please Pray For My Bum!>>

I rejoined the diet earlier today. Please keep my digestive tract in your thoughts and prayers.
 
I used to eat hot peppers all the time. Habaneros, bannana, chili's etc. I went back home for a week during the summer after my freshman year. It turns out my dad was growing new peppers from these special seeds he got from a friend. He said, here you go son, and handed me two. I said hrm, those look weird, what kind are they. He said oh, just the normal chilis but they taste good.

Now mind you, I chew peppers, I dont swallow them as fast as i can, I like the feeling.. usually.


YOUCH! My face was red for a while. I never drink water or milk though, usually I rinse my mouth with hot water.


anyway..
 
JJWalker i'm glad everything is working out for you with that tortuous diet. By the way, your posts have been bloody hilarious, I laughed aloud more than a few times, a refreshing change here lately...:beer:
 
<<UPDATE#6: Thanks For The Prayers, My @ss Feels Like A Million Bucks!!!!>>


Well, after two weeks of slowly rejoining the Atkins diet, I'm back in ketosis and my digestive tract is behaving normally. I decided to bypass the induction phase this time a gradually move over to an extremely low-carb diet. Now to pick where I left off in the weight loss department. 😀
 
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