schneiderguy
Lifer
- Jun 26, 2006
- 10,801
- 91
- 91
GuitarDaddy
Lifer
- Nov 9, 2004
- 11,465
- 1
- 0
Baaa means no!
The farmer should just have posted the video on youtube. That would have been much more effective!
The farmer should just have posted the video on youtube. That would have been much more effective!
Well, he won't be pulling the wool over that farmer's eyes anymore. Unfortunately, he's now the black sheep of his family. I wonder if he'll stay for his trial or go on the lam(b). Someone should tell him that phrase is not "there's more than one way to share a sheep."
Capt Caveman
Lifer
- Jan 30, 2005
- 34,543
- 651
- 126
BrokenVisage
Lifer
- Jan 29, 2005
- 24,771
- 14
- 81
DefDC
Golden Member
- Aug 28, 2003
- 1,858
- 1
- 81
A traveling salesman walks up to a rural house and knocks on the door. A kid answers. He says, "Son, is your mom at home?" "Yeah, but she's out back having sex with a sheep." He think the kid is joking, so they walk out to the back yard. Sure enough, she's having sex with a sheep, right in the middle of the yard. The salesman is horrified and says "Holy crap! Doesn't the fact that your mom is having sex with a sheep, right in the middle of the yard, bother you?" The kid says, "Naaaaaaaaah"
BrunoPuntzJones
Lifer
- Feb 24, 2001
- 14,513
- 4
- 81
Capt Caveman
Lifer
- Jan 30, 2005
- 34,543
- 651
- 126
BoomerD
No Lifer
- Feb 26, 2006
- 66,289
- 14,709
- 146
Maybe the guy read THESE JOKES and took them serious...
OR, just about any of these:
Q: What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lamppost?
A: A leisure center.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear zippers.
Q: When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?
A: Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
The Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
Q: Why do the horses run so fast in New Zealand?
A: Because they know what's done to the sheep!
Q: Did you hear about the shepherd who committed suicide?
A: He heard the song, "There'll Never Be Another Ewe."
Q: Did you know that they've just discovered two new uses for sheep?
A: Meat and wool.
Q: What is the smallest organ in a sheep?
A: A shepherd's tallywhacker.
Q: What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo?
A: It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back
of a sheep.
Q: Where does virgin wool come from?
A: Ugly sheep!
OR, just about any of these:
Q: What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lamppost?
A: A leisure center.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear zippers.
Q: When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?
A: Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
The Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
Q: Why do the horses run so fast in New Zealand?
A: Because they know what's done to the sheep!
Q: Did you hear about the shepherd who committed suicide?
A: He heard the song, "There'll Never Be Another Ewe."
Q: Did you know that they've just discovered two new uses for sheep?
A: Meat and wool.
Q: What is the smallest organ in a sheep?
A: A shepherd's tallywhacker.
Q: What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo?
A: It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back
of a sheep.
Q: Where does virgin wool come from?
A: Ugly sheep!
AznAnarchy99
Lifer
- Dec 6, 2004
- 14,695
- 117
- 106
Cerpin Taxt
Lifer
- Feb 23, 2005
- 11,940
- 542
- 126
A tired old Scotsman was sitting at the bar in the local pub, regaling a few other customers of his accomplishments throughout his lifetime in the town.
"Did ye lads notice the fine brick walkway that led ye heere to the pub?"
Some nodded in acknowledgement.
"I laid that brick. I was a fine mason. I've built walls in this town, buildings... you name it... but do they call me MacGregor the Mason? NO! They do not!"
"And do ye see these shoes I'm wearin'?"
Again, they acknowledged him.
"I made these shoes with me own two hands. I've made shoes for thirty years for the people of this town! But do they call me MacGregor the Cobbler? NO! They do not!"
"Oh and did ye happen to notice the fine woodwork in this very pub? The lattices and joists everywhere?"
They acknowledged him once more.
"I built this here pub me'self twenty years ago, along with a dozen or more houses throughout the town. But do they call me MacGregor the Carpenter? NO! They do not!
"But you fvck one sheep...."
"Did ye lads notice the fine brick walkway that led ye heere to the pub?"
Some nodded in acknowledgement.
"I laid that brick. I was a fine mason. I've built walls in this town, buildings... you name it... but do they call me MacGregor the Mason? NO! They do not!"
"And do ye see these shoes I'm wearin'?"
Again, they acknowledged him.
"I made these shoes with me own two hands. I've made shoes for thirty years for the people of this town! But do they call me MacGregor the Cobbler? NO! They do not!"
"Oh and did ye happen to notice the fine woodwork in this very pub? The lattices and joists everywhere?"
They acknowledged him once more.
"I built this here pub me'self twenty years ago, along with a dozen or more houses throughout the town. But do they call me MacGregor the Carpenter? NO! They do not!
"But you fvck one sheep...."
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