Am I nuts?

[ZOOYUKA]

The wedding is over a year away? Whats the point of being engaged if you are not ready to get married. I have always felt people with long engagements have no reason to get married.

 

[theknight571]

Hmmm... I'd still go to the concert.

Just make sure you make it up to her at some point.

But don't let it happen again! 😉

Don't forget that women (at least the ones I've known) want you to be thinking about them 24-7... so you'll need to at least remember the key dates, so you can pretend that you are.

 

[SirChadwick]

It's all about meeting in the middle and compromising which I'm willing to do. She doesn't want to drive to see me and sit at the apt while I go to a concert and come home late completely trashed. Hell I'd even be willing to drink lightly - either way she'll be in bed well before I get home.

 

[LanceM]

Yeah, my wife and I didn't really think much of it. We were like, "Hey, cool, we're getting married on such-and-such." But that was the extent of it.

Of course, neither one of us was really into the whole "big, family wedding" thing, so it was more of a formality than anything.

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: LanceM
Yeah, my wife and I didn't really think much of it. We were like, "Hey, cool, we're getting married on such-and-such." But that was the extent of it.

Of course, neither one of us was really into the whole "big, family wedding" thing, so it was more of a formality than anything.

We're actually having a small family wedding w/ only 3-4 friends and 40 guests total. She's pretty low maintenance on most things so this surpised me. I forgot how damn sentimental she is.

 

[Mursilis]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: LanceM
Yeah, my wife and I didn't really think much of it. We were like, "Hey, cool, we're getting married on such-and-such." But that was the extent of it.

Of course, neither one of us was really into the whole "big, family wedding" thing, so it was more of a formality than anything.

We're actually having a small family wedding w/ only 3-4 friends and 40 guests total. She's pretty low maintenance on most things so this surpised me. I forgot how damn sentimental she is.

So why the long engagement? It is curious. And the whole incident does trigger a few warning lights to me (9 yrs. married, and still going strong). Time for some reflection, at least.

 

[Schfifty Five]

Originally posted by: Feldenak
Your fiancee sounds like a whackjob.

 

[MotionMan]

We were engaged for about 1.5 years. Not a big deal. Once you get past about 2 years, though, then I think that's a little long.

MotionMan

 

[mrrman]

she is out of her mind...you got to be kidding me

 

[bennylong]

You both sound too immature to be married. How old are you two? Why bother getting married when you know it will end in divorce in less than 5 years?

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: Mursilis

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: LanceM
Yeah, my wife and I didn't really think much of it. We were like, "Hey, cool, we're getting married on such-and-such." But that was the extent of it.

Of course, neither one of us was really into the whole "big, family wedding" thing, so it was more of a formality than anything.

We're actually having a small family wedding w/ only 3-4 friends and 40 guests total. She's pretty low maintenance on most things so this surpised me. I forgot how damn sentimental she is.

So why the long engagement? It is curious. And the whole incident does trigger a few warning lights to me (9 yrs. married, and still going strong). Time for some reflection, at least.

She's finishing college now and I want to live with her for at least 7-8 months before we get married. Everyone says you find out a lot so I want to go this route.

 

[artikk]

No, you're not nuts, your fiancee is. I would not pay attention to her mind games. Go to the concert. If she has a problem with that, ask her to tell you what it is, if not, go as planned.

 

[Mursilis]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
She's finishing college now and I want to live with her for at least 7-8 months before we get married. Everyone says you find out a lot so I want to go this route.

Why? Still questioning marriage? If you are, you should not be engaged. Engagement creates too much social pressure to stay together when you may know in your heart that the relationship needs to end. I'm not liking the odds on this marriage.

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: artikk
No, you're not nuts, your fiancee is. I would not pay attention to her mind games. Go to the concert. If she has a problem with that, ask her to tell you what it is, if not, go as planned.

LOL, she told me last night that she knows I'm going to post on my little forums and ask all my co-workers their opinion about it all. She then said that even though all couples are not the same the 1 yr pre wedding celebration means a lot to her and I should respect that.

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: Mursilis

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
She's finishing college now and I want to live with her for at least 7-8 months before we get married. Everyone says you find out a lot so I want to go this route.

Why? Still questioning marriage? If you are, you should not be engaged. Engagement creates too much social pressure to stay together when you may know in your heart that the relationship needs to end. I'm not liking the odds on this marriage.

Thanks for looking at the glass being half empty. Can't wait until the milk spills.

 

[Mursilis]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: Mursilis

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
She's finishing college now and I want to live with her for at least 7-8 months before we get married. Everyone says you find out a lot so I want to go this route.

Why? Still questioning marriage? If you are, you should not be engaged. Engagement creates too much social pressure to stay together when you may know in your heart that the relationship needs to end. I'm not liking the odds on this marriage.

Thanks for looking at the glass being half empty. Can't wait until the milk spills.

<shrug> Your marriage, not mine. But you're the one posting complaints about your fiance on the internet, so make of that what you will.

 

[ArchCenturion]

Just bring her to the concert? Does she not want to go with you?

 

[SirChadwick]

Not complaints... moreso just wanting to know if I'm in the wrong or she is. No one else makes me happier and I'm madly in love with her... I would NEVER risk losing her over anything. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill here - this issue is peanuts compared to what I've seen in many relationships.

 

[SirChadwick]

Originally posted by: ArchCenturion
Just bring her to the concert? Does she not want to go with you?

Actually I asked her if she wanted to go. We have seats up front though and I think at this point all she could get would be grass seats... kind of defeating the purpose.

 

[Conky]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Not complaints... moreso just wanting to know if I'm in the wrong or she is. No one else makes me happier and I'm madly in love with her... I would NEVER risk losing her over anything. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill here - this issue is peanuts compared to what I've seen in many relationships.

Yeah, but this is just the beginning. Just wait until you're married! You won't have to decide whether to do anything... she will be giving all the orders. :laugh:

 

[Syrch]

Im not sure you are nuts for that one reason, but im sure there are others so...yes you are 🙂

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick
She then said that even though all couples are not the same the 1 yr pre wedding celebration means a lot to her and I should respect that.

AFAIK, it's customary to have an engagement party when you get engaged and that's it. No "ZOMG only x days/weeks/months/years til teh wedding so let's have a party.com!".

How are you supposed to "respect" her idea if she never told you? 😕

You two can have a meal or something but a party is stupid.

 

[ZOOYUKA]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: Mursilis

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: LanceM
Yeah, my wife and I didn't really think much of it. We were like, "Hey, cool, we're getting married on such-and-such." But that was the extent of it.

Of course, neither one of us was really into the whole "big, family wedding" thing, so it was more of a formality than anything.

We're actually having a small family wedding w/ only 3-4 friends and 40 guests total. She's pretty low maintenance on most things so this surpised me. I forgot how damn sentimental she is.

So why the long engagement? It is curious. And the whole incident does trigger a few warning lights to me (9 yrs. married, and still going strong). Time for some reflection, at least.

She's finishing college now and I want to live with her for at least 7-8 months before we get married. Everyone says you find out a lot so I want to go this route.

I am sure your future Father-in-law enjoys that story!

 

[Shadowknight]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: artikk
No, you're not nuts, your fiancee is. I would not pay attention to her mind games. Go to the concert. If she has a problem with that, ask her to tell you what it is, if not, go as planned.

LOL, she told me last night that she knows I'm going to post on my little forums and ask all my co-workers their opinion about it all. She then said that even though all couples are not the same the 1 yr pre wedding celebration means a lot to her and I should respect that.

The trick is, in any relationship, is to balance "being reasonable" without being a jerk or a pushover. In this case, your in danger of being a pushover over something stupid on her part. Like Nancy Reagan and Patrick Bateman said, "Just say NO."

 

[FoBoT]

dump her