I'm female and Ive never heard of this.
However, different people celebrate different things. If it's important to her, you get to decide if you want to encourage it or nip it in the bud. Sounds like a decent concert, not something you drop and do later.
She's pulling a classic emotional-blackmail thing. That day is important to you because of your concert. It is important to her because of the significance. You have dueling importances. Why is your importance less important than her importance? Why don't you pull a similar "I can't believe you don't understand - I told you when i got the tickets- boo hoo you don't care for me"?
You're living together because you want to learn about each other? Sounds like you've learned something interesting. Can you deal with it?
BTW the gang knows: She is ALWAYS right. Secret to happiness.
However, different people celebrate different things. If it's important to her, you get to decide if you want to encourage it or nip it in the bud. Sounds like a decent concert, not something you drop and do later.
She's pulling a classic emotional-blackmail thing. That day is important to you because of your concert. It is important to her because of the significance. You have dueling importances. Why is your importance less important than her importance? Why don't you pull a similar "I can't believe you don't understand - I told you when i got the tickets- boo hoo you don't care for me"?
You're living together because you want to learn about each other? Sounds like you've learned something interesting. Can you deal with it?
BTW the gang knows: She is ALWAYS right. Secret to happiness.
Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper
AFAIK, it's customary to have an engagement party when you get engaged and that's it. No "ZOMG only x days/weeks/months/years til teh wedding so let's have a party.com!".
How are you supposed to "respect" her idea if she never told you?
You two can have a meal or something but a party is stupid.
Actually that's all she wanted was a dinner w/ some wine or something we could toast to. No party really.
Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper
AFAIK, it's customary to have an engagement party when you get engaged and that's it. No "ZOMG only x days/weeks/months/years til teh wedding so let's have a party.com!".
How are you supposed to "respect" her idea if she never told you?
You two can have a meal or something but a party is stupid.
If thats it, whats the problem? She probably thinks your excuses for waiting to get married are stupid, but she is accomidating you.
Actually that's all she wanted was a dinner w/ some wine or something we could toast to. No party really.
Originally posted by: ZOOYUKA
Originally posted by: SirChadwick
Originally posted by: MmmSkyscraper
AFAIK, it's customary to have an engagement party when you get engaged and that's it. No "ZOMG only x days/weeks/months/years til teh wedding so let's have a party.com!".
How are you supposed to "respect" her idea if she never told you?
You two can have a meal or something but a party is stupid.
If thats it, whats the problem? She probably thinks your excuses for waiting to get married are stupid, but she is accomidating you.
Actually that's all she wanted was a dinner w/ some wine or something we could toast to. No party really.
The problem is that we live 3 1/2 hours away currently until December. That's a little ways to go for a dinner. It would be pointless for me to drive to see her for dinner and then come 3 1/2 hours back for the concert.... I have no excuses for wanting to get married. We both are saving up our money so we're ready instead of jumping ahead like your average dumbass who has to pay off their $30k wedding for 15 yrs.
I have never heard of a pre-wedding anniversary. That sounds stupid. She is just sad that she came up with an idea to spend your money, but forgot to take into account that you might of / had already made previous plans.
You should just go to the concert with your buddy and have her forget that she even proposed such a crazy idea.
You should just go to the concert with your buddy and have her forget that she even proposed such a crazy idea.
DrPizza
Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
At first, I interpreted it as you were going to miss your first anniversary... I wanted so badly to believe that... wtf is a pre-anniversary?!
Response to her: why don't you just run down to the local judge, have a civil ceremony, legally be married to her, with no one else in the family knowing. Then, you could celebrate your wedding privately, a year from Sept 29, you could have a huge ceremony and another celebration. And, from that point on, you could celebrate two wedding anniversaries each year.
Response to her: why don't you just run down to the local judge, have a civil ceremony, legally be married to her, with no one else in the family knowing. Then, you could celebrate your wedding privately, a year from Sept 29, you could have a huge ceremony and another celebration. And, from that point on, you could celebrate two wedding anniversaries each year.
Chaotic42
Lifer
- Jun 15, 2001
- 33,932
- 1,113
- 126
Originally posted by: DrPizza
At first, I interpreted it as you were going to miss your first anniversary... I wanted so badly to believe that... wtf is a pre-anniversary?!
Response to her: why don't you just run down to the local judge, have a civil ceremony, legally be married to her, with no one else in the family knowing. Then, you could celebrate your wedding privately, a year from Sept 29, you could have a huge ceremony and another celebration. And, from that point on, you could celebrate two wedding anniversaries each year.
Wasn't that an episode of Fraiser?
No, she's fooled you by acting like she's low maintenance. You just got a glimpse of reality with her after getting married.
"Your little forums and co-workers" <--- that right there screams volumes, too. You need to run away and fast.
... and who is the one making a big deal out of the day one year BEFORE the wedding? Pre-1yr Wedding Anniversary?
KK
Lifer
- Jan 2, 2001
- 15,903
- 4
- 81
Right now you have to put your foot down and stand your ground. You made these plans prior to her telling you anything different. You need to turn this around on her and make it sound like she does not respect you enough. If you don't take any type of stand, this marriage will not last long, if it even makes it to the wedding day. It's not a one way road, with her way being the only way. Compromise is what it is about, respect is also what it's about, and both goes both ways.
ultimatebob
Lifer
- Jul 1, 2001
- 25,134
- 2,445
- 126
Just go to the damn concert and worry about the consequences later. The mere fact that you offered to cancel your concert plans for this stupid pre-anniversary idea of hers should be grounds for the revocation of your man card.
I actually talked w/ her last night about us changing our wedding date just so she can have her pre 1 year dinner on the EXACT day to celebrate and she said she's not changing anything for a stupid concert.
I almost slipped and said I'm sure as hell not changing my concert plans for a stupid wedding... phew caught my tongue before letting it out.
MikeyIs4Dcats
Lifer
- Nov 5, 2001
- 18,366
- 3
- 0
Did you expect women to actually use logic in their arguments? I've learn throughout my days that women like to use their problem (i.e. her being alone on Saturday) and make it your problem. Just go to the concert since you've already made plans and if she's goes crazy, just dump her and thank her for showing you her true colors before you got locked into a marriage. Keep in mind that once you get married, you'll have to deal with her acting like this ALL the time.
BTW, who the hell celebrates a 1-year pre-marriage?! People break off engagements all the time so she's doing nothing to help herself but scare you off. If you claim you're a man, then do what's best for all mankind and cancel that 1-year pre-marriage celebration.
BTW, who the hell celebrates a 1-year pre-marriage?! People break off engagements all the time so she's doing nothing to help herself but scare you off. If you claim you're a man, then do what's best for all mankind and cancel that 1-year pre-marriage celebration.
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 20K
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 12K
-
Discussion Speculation: Zen 4 (EPYC 4 "Genoa", Ryzen 7000, etc.)- Started by Vattila
- Replies: 13K
-
Facebook
Twitter