Am I nuts?

[alkemyst]

topic should be "I lost my nuts"

 

[bennylong]

I give this future marriage 3 years, tops. Anyone want to bet a Mugsy Bogues Rookie Card against the odds?

 

[Feldenak]

Originally posted by: SirChadwick

Originally posted by: artikk
No, you're not nuts, your fiancee is. I would not pay attention to her mind games. Go to the concert. If she has a problem with that, ask her to tell you what it is, if not, go as planned.

LOL, she told me last night that she knows I'm going to post on my little forums and ask all my co-workers their opinion about it all. She then said that even though all couples are not the same the 1 yr pre wedding celebration means a lot to her and I should respect that.

The red warning lights are flashing, I suggest you pay attention to them.

 

[alkemyst]

I just thought about the fact you two are 3 1/2 hours away from each other, yet still planning a marriage...

If you are not seeing each other daily, it's easy to prolong a failed relationship.

I say she is now exerting her dominance over the relationship by making unreasonable demands, then rationizing why they are not plus putting you in the hot seat for even seeking another opinion.

It's obvious she will be right about everything from this day forward.

Consider yourself lucky and pick up someone at the concert to celebrate your near life sentence in a year with.

 

[dawza]

She's finishing college now and I want to live with her for at least 7-8 months before we get married. Everyone says you find out a lot so I want to go this route.

I would NEVER risk losing her over anything. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill here - this issue is peanuts compared to what I've seen in many relationships.

A bit conflicted? If you NEVER want to risk losing her, what are you hoping to find out in the 7-8 months of living together? How miserable a life you have to look forward to? Or, are you hoping to discover strange quirks about her (and she you) that need adjustment or some form of rectifying? Because if the latter, the situation you outlined is exactly what you would encounter by living with your SO, and if so, you shoud approach it as such.

You need to stand your ground. No need to be harsh or rude- just remain calm, explain the situation rationally- acknowledge her feelings and concerns, but remain absolutely firm about your decision to go. Let her try to lay the guilt on you, but stick to your word. If she truly cares for you, and is capable of understanding logical reasoning when she has cooled down a bit, she will respect you more. If she does/can not, then you really need to decide if you want to be legally bound to this person. 2.5 years <<< rest of your life.

Assuming you do remain resolute, she may (will) be upset, but ultimately sticking up for yourself is something you need to get in the habit of doing. In any relationship, each person is responsible for putting the other in his/her place (in a calm, rational manner) when necessary- it is a part of communication.

This obviously does bother you, and if you let it go and give in, don't expect this kind of behavior to stop (on either of your ends). Better to put your foot down now and get the message across clearly and unambiguously, rather than letting her chip away at you until you either blow up or end up becoming some p***ywhipped wuss who she will eventually leave because you are "no longer the man she fell in love with."

 

[MasonLuke]

its never too late to break it off

 

[bigredguy]

Good luck with that, once you get a ring on YOUR finger it's going to get so much worse. Have fun.