Advice on a first date - update

[dirtboy]

Like everyone has said, just be yourself. Go places you feel comfortable going and dress the way you normally would. Don't buy her flowers or other gifts, this is only your first date. I have been on many first and second dates, and I use that opportunity to decide if I want to see them again. Since I figure I'm spenidng money on dinner and other stuff, flowers can wait.

Personally, I don't like movies. Some say it can give you something to talk about afterwards. Possibly. I'd do something else, miniture golf, anything else. Here's why: if I can't talk and get to know someone, how am I going to know if I like them? So, for the first and second date I try to avoid activities that don't encourage talking.

Oh yea, and don't talk about yourself the whole time. Try to get to know her.

 

[tontod]

Originally posted by: dirtboy
Like everyone has said, just be yourself. Go places you feel comfortable going and dress the way you normally would. Don't buy her flowers or other gifts, this is only your first date. I have been on many first and second dates, and I use that opportunity to decide if I want to see them again. Since I figure I'm spenidng money on dinner and other stuff, flowers can wait.

Personally, I don't like movies. Some say it can give you something to talk about afterwards. Possibly. I'd do something else, miniture golf, anything else. Here's why: if I can't talk and get to know someone, how am I going to know if I like them? So, for the first and second date I try to avoid activities that don't encourage talking.

Oh yea, and don't talk about yourself the whole time. Try to get to know her.

I like the miniature golf idea, thanks for the tip. And, to everyone else, thanks for your help.

 

[kami]

Yeah mini-golf is a good idea. I've had a very successful date with this. It's easier to get talking while doing something like that, trust me. Make her laugh, but don't try too hard. Be a gentleman (opening doors, etc.). You'll do fine

 

[rgwalt]

Relax, and be yourself. Remember, she doesn't know that you are the man yet, so you need to let her know by being natural and confident. I would pick her up at 6 or 6:30 and shoot for dinner at 7. 8 is too late. Remember, girls tend to need to eat on a more regular schedule than guys. When in doubt, ask.

Let me ask, are you Indian? (the last name in your profile tipped me off) Is she? I would go for mini-golf or some other outdoors activity after dinner. Be sure it isn't too active, as you need to give your food time to settle. Don't draw out the evening too late. Try to get her home around 10 or 11. Not everyone is a night-owl.

Good luck and don't worry.

Ryan

 

[FrustratedUser]

Fart and unload before.
Do not clean the apartment or make your bed before, bad karma.
Nice and clean appearance, not overdone.
Don't act.
Be youself.
Comedy club or a small club with some good music to listen to is a good start. Keyword is casual.
Eat a late dinner AFTER any other activities. Easier to strike up a conversation.
How do you usually talk with friends, do the same unless it involves babes/fapping/computers/cars.


Smile, relax and have a good time.


Personally I don't get the american dating game.

 

[oLLie]

GOOD LUCK, YO!

Hopefully you won't stress out this whole week about it!

 

[kei]

Originally posted by: pulse8
Don't ask the girl so often what she wants to do. Girls want to know that you're thinking of them, but they also want you to be able to make some decisions on your own.

What? Girls don't like being told what to do. You should have asked her what she wanted to do while having a few suggestions of your own. In my opinion, 8pm is kind of late for dinner. A Friday work day seems like an eternity already and now you want this girl to wait 3-4 more hours to eat. The restaurant is probably packed so you'll have to wait even longer for the food. When you're tired and hungry, you're probably grumpy as well (something you want to avoid .) Do the girl a favor and make dinner reservations for 7pm. Since you picked the restaurant, let her decide where you guys go afterwards.

Even though it's your first date, don't stress out. Girls can sense desperation a mile away and that's not a very attractive quality. Like many others have said, just be yourself. Try to be as comfortable as possible. The purpose of this date is have a good time. If it helps at all, don't think of this as a "date" perse, view it as hanging out and having fun. If you can make her genuinely laugh, you're almost guaranteed a second date. Oh yeah, be courteous and open doors and such. Pay for dinner and if she insists on paying, tell her she can help pay next time.

 

[Jimmyjammer]

First chance you get you should slip your hand down her top and try your hardest to look innocent.

If you look innocent enough she'll not notice what you're doing and you can keep doing 'it'

This is one of the cheat codes for women, hand-down-top and leg-over-ear, both work really well when combined with intense innocence.


PS. 'It' = Man touching.

 

[FrustratedUser]

Originally posted by: Jimmyjammer
First chance you get you should slip your hand down her top and try your hardest to look innocent.

If you look innocent enough she'll not notice what you're doing and you can keep doing 'it'

This is one of the cheat codes for women, hand-down-top and leg-over-ear, both work really well when combined with intense innocence.


PS. 'It' = Man touching.

LOL! But don't whip it out.

 

[Ulfwald]

You come to a computer forum full of geeks to ask advice about dates?

But seriously, be respectful of her, ask questions that are open ended, ones that bring forth more than just a YES or NO answer. Tell her that her dress/outfit flatters her, she looks nice tonight. Dinner is good, but then afterwards ask her if she would like to A, B, or C. Have a couple of choices lined up. Leave all cell phones and pagers at home, you do not want interruptions. No matter what, do not act impatient or frustrated. Remember this, if you are on time, then you are late. If she is late, then she is on time and you have not been waiting long. Look into her eyes when talking, talk to her, not her chest.

 

[swifty3]

First Tip: Nod and smile alot, but for GOD'S SAKE don't speak!
Second Tip: Open all doors for her, even if it involves pushing her out of the way.
Third tip: Don't spit near her, or salivate profusely. (Nobody likes a human bidet)
Fourth Tip: Pertend like you're broke, and have her pay.
Fifth Tip: Avoid road rage when driving to dinner.
Sixth Tip: If thingsl look like their going well, don't be afraid to make the first move. In fact, even if things are going badly, don't be afraid to make the first move.
Seventh Tip: Don't talk about computers or politics (especially subjects concerning Bush being an Idiot)
Eigth Tip: Shower, Shave, and Shine
Ninth Tip: Rehearse every part of the date, so you know exactly what to do all night long.
Tenth Tip: Disreguard all of the above tips, and just have fun!

 

[Angrymarshmello]

A movie after dinner is probably nice. It's hard to get to know someone in an hour over dinner, although you can't talk much during the movie, you can ask her to go get drinks afterwards so you have something to talk about.

- Dress nicely
- be honest about all answers, (don't agree with everything she says just b/c you want to make it seem like you have a lot in common)
- ask her open ended questions - something like "so what's your family like" (something to keep her talking instead of yes/no question)
- Be confident - women like that. I know its your first date but dont tell her "its my first date" or something, just go with the flow
- Be a gentleman - open doors for her, etc - the lil things she notices
- PLAN everything out - and have options. If you ask her to a movie have 2-3 choices picked out (pick something she'd want to go see most of all).

Most importantly, have fun. She's just as nervous as you are

 

[Turin39789]

dont go. it going to hurt bad in a year and a half when she needs space

 

[diskop]

Originally posted by: Turin39789
dont go. it going to hurt bad in a year and a half when she needs space

It's not you, it's her. Really.

 

[mithrandir2001]

Just bring a lot of money. Women are expensive.

 

[Miramonti]

Right on.

I vote for picking her up at 7pm. That way you can get to the place at 7:30 and start eating by 7:45-8.

Man I wouldn't be able to hold out for dinner later than that, I don't care what anyone else says. This isn't Spain, dudes.

I also like the mini-golf idea. I've done that on a couple first-daters too. Just don't yell "four" when she swings.

 

[pulse8]

Originally posted by: kei

Originally posted by: pulse8
Don't ask the girl so often what she wants to do. Girls want to know that you're thinking of them, but they also want you to be able to make some decisions on your own.

What? Girls don't like being told what to do. You should have asked her what she wanted to do while having a few suggestions of your own. In my opinion, 8pm is kind of late for dinner. A Friday work day seems like an eternity already and now you want this girl to wait 3-4 more hours to eat. The restaurant is probably packed so you'll have to wait even longer for the food. When you're tired and hungry, you're probably grumpy as well (something you want to avoid .) Do the girl a favor and make dinner reservations for 7pm. Since you picked the restaurant, let her decide where you guys go afterwards.

Even though it's your first date, don't stress out. Girls can sense desperation a mile away and that's not a very attractive quality. Like many others have said, just be yourself. Try to be as comfortable as possible. The purpose of this date is have a good time. If it helps at all, don't think of this as a "date" perse, view it as hanging out and having fun. If you can make her genuinely laugh, you're almost guaranteed a second date. Oh yeah, be courteous and open doors and such. Pay for dinner and if she insists on paying, tell her she can help pay next time.

blah...

9 times out of 10 when you hang out with someone, regardless of whether or not it's a date, one will say to the other, "So, what do you want to do now?"

This is promptly followed by, "I don't know. What do you want to do?" This happens about a dozen times until someone figures something out or you kill each other. Don't tell me you've never been in that situation because then you'd just be lying.

 

[bmacd]

Originally posted by: pulse8


This is promptly followed by, "I don't know. What do you want to do?" This happens about a dozen times until someone figures something out or you kill each other. Don't tell me you've never been in that situation because then you'd just be lying.

been there

-=bmacd=-

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: Lithium381

Originally posted by: krackato
5:30 is really early for dinner. Don't talk about yourself. No one cares about you. Just talk about her. She knows her. She likes her.

that's good advice, but don't sound like you're a stalker or anything....and don't get into a political debate.....

Religious debates are nice too, attack her religion!

 

[Jfur]

female advice:


Pick her up at 6:30 or 7. Ask her after dinner if she'd like to go somewhere for coffee (find a nice cafe where you can sit and talk, maybe with live music?) or ice cream if she prefers that. Make eye contact and smile. Dress nicely but not too dressy (be clean). Agree that movie is bad idea for first date. Be ready to change plans or do something spontaneous if things lead in that direction. Have fun -- I'm sure it will go well

 

[tontod]

Originally posted by: rgwalt
Relax, and be yourself. Remember, she doesn't know that you are the man yet, so you need to let her know by being natural and confident. I would pick her up at 6 or 6:30 and shoot for dinner at 7. 8 is too late. Remember, girls tend to need to eat on a more regular schedule than guys. When in doubt, ask.

Let me ask, are you Indian? (the last name in your profile tipped me off) Is she? I would go for mini-golf or some other outdoors activity after dinner. Be sure it isn't too active, as you need to give your food time to settle. Don't draw out the evening too late. Try to get her home around 10 or 11. Not everyone is a night-owl.

Good luck and don't worry.

Ryan

Yes, I'm Indian.

 

[kt]

Ok, I am just putting this out from experience.

1. DO NOT dress up more than she does.
2. DO complement what she wears, especially something that is sometime overlooked like her shoes.
3. DO show up early (15 minutes seem to be the sweet spot)
4. DO NOT go to a movie on your first date. You are supposed to find out more about each other, so sitting in silence for 1-2 hours won't help any unless you two are telepathic.
5. DO NOT be too indecisive. Like deciding what to do after dinner, come up with a couple of things that both of you can do (involving her in the decision making is a good thing).

As for suggestions for after dinner activity, I would suggest maybe a walk in the city (or where ever there's a night life). There are a couple of reasons I suggest this. One, it's a good way eliminate the akward silences (should there be any). And it's a good opportunity for you to try to hold her hand and get her used to the idea of you two holding hands in public. Oh, and of course you get to walk off those extra weight you put on during dinner Welp, my mind is tired, I hope that gave you some ideas for your first date. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

 

[tontod]

Update:

Picked her up, went out for dinner. After dinner, we played some mini golf, then went to an ice cream place for dessert. We walked on a city street for a bit, it was a nice area. After that we went and saw a movie. I wanted to hold her hand, but couldnt muster the willpower, guess I wimped out there.
Oh well, it was the very first time going out with a girl for me, I had fun nevertheless. She did agree to go out again, so in my book tonight was a success.

 

[NutBucket]

Ya still fell for the movie thing. Well, ya did good on the other parts.

 

[TranceNation]

Originally posted by: tontod
Update:

Picked her up, went out for dinner. After dinner, we played some mini golf, then went to an ice cream place for dessert. We walked on a city street for a bit, it was a nice area. After that we went and saw a movie. I wanted to hold her hand, but couldnt muster the willpower, guess I wimped out there.
Oh well, it was the very first time going out with a girl for me, I had fun nevertheless. She did agree to go out again, so in my book tonight was a success.

lol, hold her hand? when you get a girlfriend that's one of the last things you'll want to do