Advice on a first date - update

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Stallion

Diamond Member
May 4, 2000
3,657
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Don't ask her what she wants to eat or do. Most gals like a guy who can take charge and make plansthem selves.. If you ask her all the time what she wants she will think you are spineless and just trying to please her way to much.. At least that's what my wife told me when we started dating.. :)

Go to a park and just people watch.. Our first date was a walk around a place called green lake in Seattle then hot dogs from one of them side walk vendors.

How about a some ball room dancing? Not some grind joint but swing dancing, two step tango kind of stuff.

Deffinetly have it all planned out. Make it seem like your in charge and you took care of all the details.
 

tontod

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
3,244
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Stallion: thanks. I just tried to give her some options, tried to include her in the decision making process of what to do/where to go. I didnt just ask her where she wanted to go - but came up with a list. When she was hesitant, I just chose one and made sure she wanted to do that.
 

eLiu

Diamond Member
Jun 4, 2001
6,407
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Originally posted by: krackato
5:30 is really early for dinner. Don't talk about yourself. No one cares about you. Just talk about her. She knows her. She likes her.

I realize this might be inconceivable, but I would think she should be interested in you too, else she wouldn't be on this date thing with you...I'd say 'just talk about her' is wrong, and if it happens, that could be a bad sign, depending on whether or not you like (potential) attention freaks...
 

benliong

Golden Member
Jun 25, 2000
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Originally posted by: eLiu
Originally posted by: krackato
5:30 is really early for dinner. Don't talk about yourself. No one cares about you. Just talk about her. She knows her. She likes her.

I realize this might be inconceivable, but I would think she should be interested in you too, else she wouldn't be on this date thing with you...I'd say 'just talk about her' is wrong, and if it happens, that could be a bad sign, depending on whether or not you like (potential) attention freaks...

If she's interested, I think she'd ask. Talking about yourself just make the conversation this much less interesting while making you look like attention freak. :)
 

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
1
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Originally posted by: tontod
Originally posted by: dirtboy
Originally posted by: tontod
Update:

Picked her up, went out for dinner. After dinner, we played some mini golf, then went to an ice cream place for dessert. We walked on a city street for a bit, it was a nice area. After that we went and saw a movie. I wanted to hold her hand, but couldnt muster the willpower, guess I wimped out there. :eek:
Oh well, it was the very first time going out with a girl for me, I had fun nevertheless. She did agree to go out again, so in my book tonight was a success.

Don't worry about holding her hand. You don't need to rush into touching her. Once a woman feels comfortable being around you, they will make the first move.


Ok, I wasnt sure if I was supposed to make the first move or not.

Don't get me wrong, I've held a girls hand on the first date, but I was comfortable doing and I could tell she was okay with it too. If you're unsure or there are some unknowns, just wait. Since you're new at this, I wouldn't push it. Believe me, if she's 31, she's probably dated a few people in her time, which means when she feels comfortable around you, she will let you know.

 

Zenmervolt

Elite member
Oct 22, 2000
24,514
44
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lol, hold her hand? when you get a girlfriend that's one of the last things you'll want to do
Don't knock the simple pleasures.

If she's interested, trust me you'll know. A month ago I would have thought what I just said was complete BS, but experience tends to change opinions. ;) I think you'll do fine.

ZV
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
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I love women who are in their 30's :D

They're past the stage where they're giggly, stupid girls (ok, generalizing here..), and are to the point where they're confident in who they are and know how to handle themselves in most situations. Plus, that whole "sexual prime" thing? It's true.. :cool:
 

tontod

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
3,244
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Well, I guess that date didnt go too well. Since then we've only gone out once, and she said she wants to be "friends". Forget that.

The good news is that I went out last Friday with this other girl that I've been playing tennis with once a week the last 2-3 months. She's even older - 34 :D. (I'm 25). We talked about different activities we could do together, so hoping things will go better this time around. This time we just went to 1 place - casinos close by here.
 

gotsmack

Diamond Member
Mar 4, 2001
5,768
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don't worry about it, first dates are only for experience, can't expect to marry the first girl yuou date.
 

tontod

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
3,244
0
71
True, but even after a month after the 1st date, she had no interest. When I tried to find a suitable time to get together, she would keep saying she was busy, being vague about it often.