Adoption / Abortion

[Feanor727]

Ok. This is _not_ a thread to tell us all what you think of abortion. That has been beaten to death. Rather, I would like to know what the arguments are for a woman to have an abortion instead of giving the child up for adoption. I've heard many for adoption over abortion but none for abortion over adoption.

Before the thread starts, though. I am aware of the most common argument of a live birth would endanger the life of the mother. That's fine. What are the others?

 

[yowolabi]

She just got pregnant, and she doesn't wish to be pregnant.

Edit: This will eventually become an abortion argument, no matter what question you start from.

 

[notfred]

There are already billions of stupid people on the planet, no need to add any more.

 

[TwinkleToes77]

Some cant live with the "i abandoned my kid" knowing that a child is out there that they will never see. So theyd rather abort.

 

[Azraele]

I would assume that in a rape situation, should the woman get pregnant, she might choose abortion over adoption because rape is traumatic. Nine months carrying the child might serve as a constant reminder to what happened and hinder the healing process.

 

[Yax]

Originally posted by: Feanor727
Ok. This is _not_ a thread to tell us all what you think of abortion. That has been beaten to death. Rather, I would like to know what the arguments are for a woman to have an abortion instead of giving the child up for adoption. I've heard many for adoption over abortion but none for abortion over adoption.

Before the thread starts, though. I am aware of the most common argument of a live birth would endanger the life of the mother. That's fine. What are the others?

Yet another abortion debate! Maybe the lady doesn't want to go through the hassle of carrying the baby for 9 months, growing a huge stomach then having stretch marks all over, driving future potential lovers away? Many women want to look pretty and stretch marks don't look pretty. Thats one reason. There's plenty more and they all add up to abortion over adaption.

 

[bozack]

other than rape or possible medical problems and or death there really are no viable reasons why anyone would chose abortion over adoption...all of the ones such as stretch marks, looking ugly, and having to deal with carrying the child for 9 months are really something the mother should have thought about before she had sex which led to her pregnancy...they are lame excuses for abortion and anyone that would consider them viable in my opinion is a moron.

 

[BDawg]

Regardless of the reason, it's no one but the mother's business what she choses.

 

[Christoph]

The only viable reason a woman needs, or should need, to choose an abortion is that she wants one. Why she prefers to abort is her business.

But this appears to be turning into an abortion thread, rather than answering the OP's question.

An abortion is private, no one has to know you had an unplanned pregnancy and chose to terminate it. Not even the father.

Adoption requires carrying the pregnancy to term, enduring countless questions from family, friends, co-workers, even strangers. "When are you due?", "Have you picked out a name?", etc.

People are nosy, they'd want to know why you were giving it up for adoption, probably try to argue with you. Why would anyone want to go through that?

 

[TripperJoe]

Here's a secnario:
Her career prevents her from carrying a pregnancy to term. I don't think there's any third-trimester WNBA players. Or maybe she just doesn't feel like carrying around something she doesn't want for 9 months?

And yes, this is an abortion discussion. Don't try to pass it off otherwise. You're asking whether the woman should abort or not abort.

 

[Azraele]

Social stigmata might be an excuse some would use bozack. What about cases where some sort of protective device was used, but failed?

Also, I would think that the cost of prenatal care might be a fator in some cases.

 

[jhu]

what if the fetus is really the spawn of satan?

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: bozack
other than rape or possible medical problems and or death there really are no viable reasons why anyone would chose abortion over adoption...all of the ones such as stretch marks, looking ugly, and having to deal with carrying the child for 9 months are really something the mother should have thought about before she had sex which led to her pregnancy...they are lame excuses for abortion and anyone that would consider them viable in my opinion is a moron.

Dude......great post.

What about the kid? The first thing they learn is that their real mother didn't want them. There's a great foundation for a healthy life. Add to that the utterly pathetic state of childcare agencies in the US and you're looking at an even rosier picture. Adoption sounds great in principle, but the practice can be quite another story.

The Crisis of Foster Care (Time Magazine).

It costs at least $7 billion a year, or about $13,000 a child, to care for America's foster kids. The problem is not a single black hole but a series--each state affected with its own distinct problems. A yearlong investigation by TIME has found the crisis mounting in at least 20 states as lawyers file class actions asking judges to take control of entire agencies and Governors to appoint task forces to review child-welfare programs. Three states in particular--Georgia, Alabama and California--show the severity of the crisis.

 

[Azraele]

What about the kid? The first thing they learn is that their real mother didn't want them

Not necessarily. It might be that the child was given up because the mother was not able to adequately give care. Depends on what the child is told by foster care/parents too.

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: Azraele

What about the kid? The first thing they learn is that their real mother didn't want them

Not necessarily. It might be that the child was given up because the mother was not able to adequately give care. Depends on what the child is told by foster care/parents too.

I was using that phrase from the child's point of view. Within their capacity for reasoning, "My mommy didn't want me." is going to be the first thing that comes up. They may gain a better view of what really happened as they grow older, but it's still not a good foundation for kid to start out on, IMO.

 

[Geekbabe]

Imagine spending 65 years or so knowing that a piece of your heart is wandering around out there someplace and that if they are sick or being abused that you are powerless to help them and that it's happening because you gave them away.

 

[Azraele]

but it's still not a good foundation for kid to start out on, IMO.

I agree, but that's assuming that the child knows he/she is adopted. There are some situations where a child does not know this until they are considered old enough to handle it.

 

[Kemosabe1447]

There is no real reason why someone should get an abortion...people are lazy and dont want to have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Nobody has the right to take a like of another, and whoever said that they do not have the money to pay for a child, this country gives away so much money to people, it is sickening

 

[Geekbabe]

Adoption/fostercare is not always the fairy tale ending that many would like to believe that it is.



Yeah,right now there's a shortage of healthy white infants for qualified 2 parent adoptive homes but restrictions on abortion rights will once again lead to a glut of children without homes.We are already facing a crisis in our foster care system,we need to add to it?

The link below provides the POV of many,many adult adoptee's,this issue isn't as simple as many would like to believe.


adoptees speajking out

 

[Azraele]

That link seems to refer (unless I'm missing something?) to the sealed records of adoptees and the trouble adoptess have in getting information from sealed records.

That seems to encompass a whole other thread (whether or not adoptees should have the right to their records).

I do agree, though, that the system does have some problems.

 

[BDawg]

If the people who want to force mothers to carry to term would adopt all of the black or mexican babies, or the babies who are infected with HIV or addicted to crack or heroin who would otherwise might be aborted, then they wouldn't be hypocrites.

(I'm not saying that white people don't have abortions, just that there's no trouble finding adopting parents for cute, healthy white babies.)

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Azraele
That link seems to refer (unless I'm missing something?) to the sealed records of adoptees and the trouble adoptess have in getting information from sealed records.

That seems to encompass a whole other thread (whether or not adoptees should have the right to their records).

I do agree, though, that the system does have some problems.

They also have forums someplace,interesting reading in hearing the POV of adult adoptee's and shocking to hear of the abuses many of them went thru and the permanent damages done to their hearts via a process that is touted as the the ultimate in win,win ,simplistic solutions.

 

[styelers]

Women's choice, but dont use abortion as a birth control thats ignorant. Some people just have one abortion after another, hello theres contraceptive!

 

[bozack]

Originally posted by: Fausto1What about the kid? The first thing they learn is that their real mother didn't want them. There's a great foundation for a healthy life. Add to that the utterly pathetic state of childcare agencies in the US and you're looking at an even rosier picture. Adoption sounds great in principle, but the practice can be quite another story.

Hey fausto, thanks for linking to my pic, I see how that adds alot to this discussion and really helps your point.

With regards to your comments, at least the kid will get to make that decision for themselves...I am sure if you asked most kids that were put up for adoption if they would have rather had it the way it was or never existed that many would chose the chance to live.

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: bozack

Originally posted by: Fausto1What about the kid? The first thing they learn is that their real mother didn't want them. There's a great foundation for a healthy life. Add to that the utterly pathetic state of childcare agencies in the US and you're looking at an even rosier picture. Adoption sounds great in principle, but the practice can be quite another story.

Hey fausto, thanks for linking to my pic, I see how that adds alot to this discussion and really helps your point.

Thanks. I thought it was pretty funny to see you look about as smart as your comments would indicate.

With regards to your comments, at least the kid will get to make that decision for themselves...I am sure if you asked most kids that were put up for adoption if they would have rather had it the way it was or never existed that many would chose the chance to live.

Really? Did you miss all the data on how bad our nation's child welfare system is or something? It's already totally out of control, just imagine what would happen if all potential abortions suddently became adoptions......still think those kids would be thrilled with their existence?