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About love, friendships, and relationships

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I'm just going throw this out there, it's too late in the evening to go through this entire thread. But from your inital post I get the feeling that your confusing love with doting. Love isn't actions or sayings. Love is just there. It's not filling that empty void in your gut, it's adding onto your life. Someone can love you from half way across the world, and you may never get a chance to see them. But they're still there loving you. Well that's what I think love is in any case. Remeber anyone can "care" for you. Lavish you with attention, attend to your needs. But to truly love someone is to integrate them into your life completly without knowing it. Like air.

It sounds like your just looking for someone to care for you, and make you feel special.
 
Originally posted by: Sheepathon
Never thought I'd be agreeing with both CR and Amplifier in the same thread, but I do.
Click to expand...
Originally posted by: Amplifier
You're a fvcking punk GeekDrew. I feel sorry so I'm going to help you fix your life.

1) Every girl I've been with has said she loved me, I doubt a single one meant it. Bother me? Absolutely not and it shouldn't bother you if a girl hates/loves you.
2) You're living someone elses life and living by someone elses expectations. Quick test, if I gave you a million dollars would you suddenly feel worthwhile? If yes then you're living for someone besides yourself. Cut that sht.
3) Stop caring about hurting some pvssies feelings.
4) Get a gun. A 45 will make you feel nine feet tall.
5) Go blow $500 on something you've always wanted to do. Skydiving, get a high class hooker, whatever.
6) Stop caring about greater causes, other people, and focus on YOURSELF.

If you do 1-6 you'll feel great and love life/school.
Click to expand...

So, your advice to a severely depressed individual is to buy a gun -- and your advice to someone who just lost their job and is unemployed to go blow $500 on some instant-gratification.

Very well thought out. :roll:

GeekDrew, if you listen to advice like this, and this may sound harsh -- but you deserve the consequences. Ignore amateur statements like these, and follow my advice.

 
Originally posted by: CrimsonChaos
For the record, the poem I posted by Poe was in reference to how he felt about being an orphan (and thus later adopted).

GeekDrew, I truly believe 95% of life is your mindset. The other 5% is just blind luck (whether it's good or bad). I believe there are those with very powerful minds, that have the ability to mold their life exactly as they want it, that are able to overcome any obstacles they face, that can generate the determination and intensity needed to move forward. Conversely, there are those weaker minds that have no self-discipline, that make excuses when things aren't going as planned, that disengage at the slightest adversity. Then of course, there's a broad range that lies somewhere between these extremes.

Alcoholics, druggies, gluttons (over-eaters), anorexics, gambling junkies -- these people have the ability to stop their destructive actions. But do they? Many of them do not, and they blame some chemical imbalance or "disease" on their actions. I'm not dismissing these reasons entirely, but at the same time a powerful mind would have the ability to stop these destructive actions immediately, without the slightest propensity of reverting. Less powerful minds can still overcome these vices, but it will just take them longer. A weak mind will just continue to flounder by blaming every external source and by never taking control of the situation.

So it's probably pretty obvious what my point is. You seem rather pre-occupied with your thoughts and feelings regarding not being truly loved. Do not be so weak minded to let these superfluous thoughts control your actions and emotions. A lot of us have, at some point, questioned our own validity, or the purpose of life, or why bad things happen to good people, etc. There are many things in life you cannot control -- and how other people feel about you is one of these things. The one thing you can always control is your own mindset. You must focus your energy and draw the inner-strength to overcome these debilitating feelings you're having, and move on with your life.

Will this be easy to do? It depends on the complexity of your issues and emotions, and the strength and ability of your mind to will your life in a more positive direction -- but only the weakest of minds will not put forth the effort. Good luck in your journey.
Click to expand...

You're sort of on track...
Mental health has nothing to do with weak and powerful, it's tied directly to negative and positive.
Negative thinking and negative analysis lead to negative emotions and negative outcome.
Positive thinking yields the opposite.

Here's a simple example...
I'm driving down the road and see a great big woman bending over working in her flower garden. What's my first thought?
Is it "Look at the size of that ass. What a pig. Lazy people like that should not be allowed to exist".
Or do I think "Look at that lady. It's nice to see her enjoying her flowers and taking time to care for them. She must be quite a caring and nurturing person. It must be tough for her to lose weight, it's good to see her working at it".

Either thought may or may not be true. That doesn't really matter.
Thought #1 is negative. I reinforce my negativity and hatred by having thoughts like that. It does nothing positive for me or anyone else. It only takes me closer to being the hateful, depressed, miserable asswipe I used to be.
Thought #2 puts a smile on my face. It reinforces my desire to think positively. It makes me feel better about people, myself and my existance.
If I take thought #2 one step farther into "I wish I had some flowers. I wish I had someone caring like that in my life.", I just ruined a positive experience.
I have to stop right there and be grateful for the experience and remain selfless.

If I make a conscious effort to look for good in any situation I can find it. If I don't do that I'm in bad shape.

My thought process was learned. It was taught to me by very intelligent (albeit miserable) people. My family is full of very intelligent alcoholics, drug addicts and assholes. It's no wonder I turned out the way I did. It appears Geekdrew is in the same boat.
He's generous and smart, but it appears he's also got a fvcked up thought process just like mine.
That can be changed with a conscious effort. It's not easy and it's painful, but it can be done.

The problem with being very intelligent is that it's tough to keep an open mind when you know everything and you're smarter than everyone else.
When you're in pain and you've figured everything out, it never occurs that it'd be better to think about things in a different way so that it doesn't hurt so bad.
The ability and desire to "let go" is tough to come by when it all feels so right.

Geekdrew asked how to "let go".
I give my problems to God. If things are affecting me negatively, I've done everything I can to change or accept the situation and it's still bothering me, I ask Him to take it and work on it. When I hand it over I agree to accept the outcome whatever that may be, just as if I handed someone else a project.
I have faith that the outcome will be correct and just as it should be regardless of whether or not it meets my desires.
Most of the time things work out perfectly, and seldom do they work out as I would have planned.
It's worked wonders for my depression and anxiety. I don't have any of either anymore. I was heavily medicated for years, an active alcoholic for 25 years.
By simply changing the way I think, letting go and asking for help; I no longer drink, take medication, my chest doesn't hurt, my asthma is gone, I'm happy and I'm healthy.



 
Originally posted by: CrimsonChaos
Originally posted by: Sheepathon
Never thought I'd be agreeing with both CR and Amplifier in the same thread, but I do.
Click to expand...
Originally posted by: Amplifier
You're a fvcking punk GeekDrew. I feel sorry so I'm going to help you fix your life.

1) Every girl I've been with has said she loved me, I doubt a single one meant it. Bother me? Absolutely not and it shouldn't bother you if a girl hates/loves you.
2) You're living someone elses life and living by someone elses expectations. Quick test, if I gave you a million dollars would you suddenly feel worthwhile? If yes then you're living for someone besides yourself. Cut that sht.
3) Stop caring about hurting some pvssies feelings.
4) Get a gun. A 45 will make you feel nine feet tall.
5) Go blow $500 on something you've always wanted to do. Skydiving, get a high class hooker, whatever.
6) Stop caring about greater causes, other people, and focus on YOURSELF.

If you do 1-6 you'll feel great and love life/school.
Click to expand...

So, your advice to a severely depressed individual is to buy a gun -- and your advice to someone who just lost their job and is unemployed to go blow $500 on some instant-gratification.

Very well thought out. :roll:

GeekDrew, if you listen to advice like this, and this may sound harsh -- but you deserve the consequences. Ignore amateur statements like these, and follow my advice.
Click to expand...

GeekDrew spent four years going to a shrink, wasting his money getting pansy ass advice like that. He needs freedom, he needs power. Have you ever held a chrome 45 in your hand and pulled the trigger? It's a sense of power that can't be duplicated without being 6'6" and 280lbs. For an unconfident guy like Geek, that's just what he needs.

Up until this point GeekDrew sounds like a homosexual that feels like an outcast from society. It's bullsht in my eyes, once he gets rid of all the parasitic losers in his life he'll realise life has more to offer than that "responsibility" people are cramming down his throat.
 
Originally posted by: Amplifier
Originally posted by: CrimsonChaos
Originally posted by: Sheepathon
Never thought I'd be agreeing with both CR and Amplifier in the same thread, but I do.
Click to expand...
Originally posted by: Amplifier
You're a fvcking punk GeekDrew. I feel sorry so I'm going to help you fix your life.

1) Every girl I've been with has said she loved me, I doubt a single one meant it. Bother me? Absolutely not and it shouldn't bother you if a girl hates/loves you.
2) You're living someone elses life and living by someone elses expectations. Quick test, if I gave you a million dollars would you suddenly feel worthwhile? If yes then you're living for someone besides yourself. Cut that sht.
3) Stop caring about hurting some pvssies feelings.
4) Get a gun. A 45 will make you feel nine feet tall.
5) Go blow $500 on something you've always wanted to do. Skydiving, get a high class hooker, whatever.
6) Stop caring about greater causes, other people, and focus on YOURSELF.

If you do 1-6 you'll feel great and love life/school.
Click to expand...

So, your advice to a severely depressed individual is to buy a gun -- and your advice to someone who just lost their job and is unemployed to go blow $500 on some instant-gratification.

Very well thought out. :roll:

GeekDrew, if you listen to advice like this, and this may sound harsh -- but you deserve the consequences. Ignore amateur statements like these, and follow my advice.
Click to expand...

GeekDrew spent four years going to a shrink, wasting his money getting pansy ass advice like that. He needs freedom, he needs power. Have you ever held a chrome 45 in your hand and pulled the trigger? It's a sense of power that can't be duplicated without being 6'6" and 280lbs. For an unconfident guy like Geek, that's just what he needs.

Up until this point GeekDrew sounds like a homosexual that feels like an outcast from society. It's bullsht in my eyes, once he gets rid of all the parasitic losers in his life he'll realise life has more to offer than that "responsibility" people are cramming down his throat.
Click to expand...

1) I've had a boyfriend tell me that he loves me, and I am extremely certain that he didn't mean it even one time. He was my first boyfriend, and it bothered me for a short while... but not very long. :-

2) No. I would not feel worthwhile if I was given $1,000,000. I would probably just feel that I could temporarily solve some money issues for myself and a few friends.

3) what?

4) I've held, and fired, many different guns. I really don't know how many different guns and various other weapons I have access to. Having a gun in my hands makes me feel like..... I want to go put it back in the weapons cabinet?

5) I've blown thousands of dollars on stuff that I've "always wanted" or "always wanted to do". I have fun while I'm at it, but afterwards, the satisfaction isn't there at all.

6) I used to do that... and got nowhere by doing that. I guess I've fallen back into the way I was before I thought first of myself. It just seems shallow of me to think first of myself. :-\

<edit>

Yeah, I know that I need to get rid of the "parasitic losers" in my life... which, for the most part, means that I need to get the fvck out of the area I'm living in right now. That's just easier said than done.

I do know that I was much more confidant, relaxed, and (in general) happy, when I lived in Columbus... because I was in an environment that was not negative (not always positive, but it wasn't negative).
 
Originally posted by: Amplifier
Originally posted by: CrimsonChaos
Originally posted by: Sheepathon
Never thought I'd be agreeing with both CR and Amplifier in the same thread, but I do.
Click to expand...
Originally posted by: Amplifier
You're a fvcking punk GeekDrew. I feel sorry so I'm going to help you fix your life.

1) Every girl I've been with has said she loved me, I doubt a single one meant it. Bother me? Absolutely not and it shouldn't bother you if a girl hates/loves you.
2) You're living someone elses life and living by someone elses expectations. Quick test, if I gave you a million dollars would you suddenly feel worthwhile? If yes then you're living for someone besides yourself. Cut that sht.
3) Stop caring about hurting some pvssies feelings.
4) Get a gun. A 45 will make you feel nine feet tall.
5) Go blow $500 on something you've always wanted to do. Skydiving, get a high class hooker, whatever.
6) Stop caring about greater causes, other people, and focus on YOURSELF.

If you do 1-6 you'll feel great and love life/school.
Click to expand...

So, your advice to a severely depressed individual is to buy a gun -- and your advice to someone who just lost their job and is unemployed to go blow $500 on some instant-gratification.

Very well thought out. :roll:

GeekDrew, if you listen to advice like this, and this may sound harsh -- but you deserve the consequences. Ignore amateur statements like these, and follow my advice.
Click to expand...

GeekDrew spent four years going to a shrink, wasting his money getting pansy ass advice like that. He needs freedom, he needs power. Have you ever held a chrome 45 in your hand and pulled the trigger? It's a sense of power that can't be duplicated without being 6'6" and 280lbs. For an unconfident guy like Geek, that's just what he needs.

Up until this point GeekDrew sounds like a homosexual that feels like an outcast from society. It's bullsht in my eyes, once he gets rid of all the parasitic losers in his life he'll realise life has more to offer than that "responsibility" people are cramming down his throat.
Click to expand...
I second that motion that you are a moron.
You've definately earned my unwavering support.

 
I've noticed that what you make of life is what you put into it. If you do not put any love into anything, you will not get any in return. Although it may take weeks or months to see a result, the result will come.

You'll figure it out...
 
Originally posted by: Amplifier
GeekDrew spent four years going to a shrink, wasting his money getting pansy ass advice like that. He needs freedom, he needs power. Have you ever held a chrome 45 in your hand and pulled the trigger? It's a sense of power that can't be duplicated without being 6'6" and 280lbs. For an unconfident guy like Geek, that's just what he needs.

Up until this point GeekDrew sounds like a homosexual that feels like an outcast from society. It's bullsht in my eyes, once he gets rid of all the parasitic losers in his life he'll realise life has more to offer than that "responsibility" people are cramming down his throat.
Click to expand...

First, yes I've shot a gun -- but no, never a chrome 45. It's mind-boggling to me why you would think shooting a gun (or any other unrelated external activity) would solve someone's internal problems? You'd have to be extremely delusional to believe your solution lies in shooting a gun and trying accomplish this artificial "sense of power".

Trying to question the "manliness" of my advice (or previous psychiatrists) in no way diminishes the importance or relevance of it. GeekDrew will either find the inner-strength to move on with his life, independent and unreliant of other people. Or he will continue to stumble through life waiting for someone else to save him, whether directly or indirectly. If his mind ends up being unable to come to this self-discovery and adapt accordingly, it won't matter how many guns he shoots or how many $500 luxury items he buys, he'll never live his life to his potential.

 
Originally posted by: shilala
You're sort of on track...
Mental health has nothing to do with weak and powerful, it's tied directly to negative and positive.
Negative thinking and negative analysis lead to negative emotions and negative outcome.
Positive thinking yields the opposite.

Here's a simple example...
I'm driving down the road and see a great big woman bending over working in her flower garden. What's my first thought?
Is it "Look at the size of that ass. What a pig. Lazy people like that should not be allowed to exist".
Or do I think "Look at that lady. It's nice to see her enjoying her flowers and taking time to care for them. She must be quite a caring and nurturing person. It must be tough for her to lose weight, it's good to see her working at it".

Either thought may or may not be true. That doesn't really matter.
Thought #1 is negative. I reinforce my negativity and hatred by having thoughts like that. It does nothing positive for me or anyone else. It only takes me closer to being the hateful, depressed, miserable asswipe I used to be.
Thought #2 puts a smile on my face. It reinforces my desire to think positively. It makes me feel better about people, myself and my existance.
If I take thought #2 one step farther into "I wish I had some flowers. I wish I had someone caring like that in my life.", I just ruined a positive experience.
I have to stop right there and be grateful for the experience and remain selfless.

If I make a conscious effort to look for good in any situation I can find it. If I don't do that I'm in bad shape.

My thought process was learned. It was taught to me by very intelligent (albeit miserable) people. My family is full of very intelligent alcoholics, drug addicts and assholes. It's no wonder I turned out the way I did. It appears Geekdrew is in the same boat.
He's generous and smart, but it appears he's also got a fvcked up thought process just like mine.
That can be changed with a conscious effort. It's not easy and it's painful, but it can be done.

The problem with being very intelligent is that it's tough to keep an open mind when you know everything and you're smarter than everyone else.
When you're in pain and you've figured everything out, it never occurs that it'd be better to think about things in a different way so that it doesn't hurt so bad.
The ability and desire to "let go" is tough to come by when it all feels so right.

Geekdrew asked how to "let go".
I give my problems to God. If things are affecting me negatively, I've done everything I can to change or accept the situation and it's still bothering me, I ask Him to take it and work on it. When I hand it over I agree to accept the outcome whatever that may be, just as if I handed someone else a project.
I have faith that the outcome will be correct and just as it should be regardless of whether or not it meets my desires.
Most of the time things work out perfectly, and seldom do they work out as I would have planned.
It's worked wonders for my depression and anxiety. I don't have any of either anymore. I was heavily medicated for years, an active alcoholic for 25 years.
By simply changing the way I think, letting go and asking for help; I no longer drink, take medication, my chest doesn't hurt, my asthma is gone, I'm happy and I'm healthy.
Click to expand...
I will agree that perception plays a large role in one's mindset. But I do think it takes a strong mind to control the direction your mind wanders, or to alter/correct the current course it is on.

I do not feel this "intelligence" you speak of the source of the problem. There are plenty of intelligent people who are able to lead happy and fulfilling lives. Rather, it's likely the inability to control and focus your intelligence that leads you astray.

You can wake up every day, and think of all the possible bad things that may happen to you if you step out the door -- what if I am kidnapped, run over, shot (by one of Amp's stray bullets), struck by lightning. Do you let yourself be paralyzed by the countless possibilities, or do you take note of these possibilities and leave the house with your own plan and agenda in mind?

A strong mind can focus your energy and shed clarity through the shroud of uncertainty and ambiguity of our daily lives. A weak mind will let the hopelessness wash over you and consume you completely.

 
OP: This may sound stupid non-PC but maybe you are not gay...

I say this because one of my long time friends (who was gay) was in a similar state of mind about 3-4 years ago. He felt love and companionship was lacking in his life...his friends didn't seem to fill this void. And his serious relationships didn't fill this void either. So he thought to himself (as he told me), "maybe I'm not gay...". He expressed the same lack of sexual desire, etc. although he still found men attractive. So he went cold turkey for about 6 months and was kinda, asexual, so to speak. Then he met a girl that became friends with; of course, he told her right off the bat about his past/present...she didn't seem to mind at all.

I think she really liked him because he was sensitive, caring, and not overtly sexual (this girl is very good looking; I think she was used to being looked at as a piece of ass, first and foremost). Well, about 6 months after they'd been close friends it turned into something more. He wanted to take me out to lunch...I was wondering what was up; turned out he his girl friend expressed their deep appreciation and love for one another over dinner last night, had sex, and he loved it and was a total gonner for her.

They got married a little more than a year ago.
 
Originally posted by: miniMUNCH
OP: This may sound stupid non-PC but maybe you are not gay...

I say this because one of my long time friends (who was gay) was in a similar state of mind about 3-4 years ago. He felt love and companionship was lacking in his life...his friends didn't seem to fill this void. And his serious relationships didn't fill this void either. So he thought to himself (as he told me), "maybe I'm not gay...". He expressed the same lack of sexual desire, etc. although he still found men attractive. So he went cold turkey for about 6 months and was kinda, asexual, so to speak. Then he met a girl that became friends with; of course, he told her right off the bat about his past/present...she didn't seem to mind at all.

I think she really liked him because he was sensitive, caring, and not overtly sexual (this girl is very good looking; I think she was used to being looked at as a piece of ass, first and foremost). Well, about 6 months after they'd been close friends it turned into something more. He wanted to take me out to lunch...I was wondering what was up; turned out he his girl friend expressed their deep appreciation and love for one another over dinner last night, had sex, and he loved it and was a total gonner for her.

They got married a little more than a year ago.
Click to expand...

I am homosexual. I like to fvck men. I like it when men fvck me. (Using the plural tense here, though I'm not one for being with multiple men at once, I've found.) I'm not feeling completely non-sexual right now... yeah, my sex drive is lower than normal, but that happens with me occasionally, and usually lasts a few days, and then I'm back to "normal" (for me).
 
im surprised a certain someone hasnt flamed this person out yet...like what he does to me everytime i post a YAGT. ugh.

wow...now i dont really know how to respond to your post. >.<
 
Originally posted by: JoeKing
I'm just going throw this out there, it's too late in the evening to go through this entire thread. But from your inital post I get the feeling that your confusing love with doting. Love isn't actions or sayings. Love is just there. It's not filling that empty void in your gut, it's adding onto your life. Someone can love you from half way across the world, and you may never get a chance to see them. But they're still there loving you. Well that's what I think love is in any case. Remeber anyone can "care" for you. Lavish you with attention, attend to your needs. But to truly love someone is to integrate them into your life completly without knowing it. Like air.

It sounds like your just looking for someone to care for you, and make you feel special.
Click to expand...

Eh, to me, it's more like inclusion, rather than confusion. There is no doubt in my mind that people care about me, etc. If I want someone to care for me and make me feel special, I could probably find that rather easily. What I want, though, is more than that... but it's hard for me to describe. :-

I suppose that integrating someone into my life completely, almost without even thinking about it, might be a start on how to describe it.

Here's something that might be an odd twist... not completely relevant, but somewhat: I find cuddling to be too personal for "just friends". I've done it before with someone that's just a friend... heh, never again. I feel like when I'm cuddling with someone, I'm relaxing to an ultimate point... a point that I do not ever want to get to unless it's with someone that I love (more than just as a friend). I don't know why I feel that way... I know that most people don't. It baffles me beyond belief how some guys are able to have sex with other men that they do not love... also been there, done that, will never do it again (I won't let myself). It completely escapes me... to me, that's something that is the ultimate of all things personal... I don't really know why one would ever want to do that. If you want to get off, just take care of it yourself.

One friend of mine indicated to me (in no so many words) that he used condoms when it wasn't so personal, and was unprotected when it was more personal to him (do not let this get into a debate about protected/unprotected... that's a conversation for another day)... and that shocked the hell out of me, honestly... was upset for a while about it. It shouldn't have bothered me, I'm sure, but it did. I just would never have sex if it wasn't that personal to me. heh I guess I'll never understand it. :-

But cuddling, or having sex, or even just looking into each other's eyes, when both people trust each other, and both know that they love each other (not just as friends), is, I guess, what I'm ultimately looking for. heh (that's incredibly hard for me to say) Not like it has to be frequent or anything... but just the knowledge that it's there... heh.

I know that love will never "complete" me as an individual. I think that it's more that I want to share myself with someone else, and have them share their life with me.... not replacing anything inside ourselves, but appending. :-\ I guess in the end it is that I need to feel special... not by any words, actions, etc., that any friend could provide... but by the fact that someone (future partner, whatever) would be there, and sharing his life with me (and always the inverse, I sharing my life with him...). heh
 
Go get some help, youre definitely screwed in the head and need some kind of medicine.

Nobody wants to love someone that sounds as depressing as you, they cant love you and you cant love them until you learn to love yourself.



 
Originally posted by: PimpJuice
Go get some help, youre definitely screwed in the head and need some kind of medicine.

Nobody wants to love someone that sounds as depressing as you, they cant love you and you cant love them until you learn to love yourself.
Click to expand...

Do you think I would be posting this crap on ATOT if I didn't love myself to *some* extent?
 
i've been in a similar situation. i had a friend who continually told me, while i was going through a tough time, that "i love you and i care about you." she cared so much that when we both graduated college, she told me it's better that we don't speak to each other anymore or be friends any longer.

life sucks at times, and you get burned.

i'm thinking that if you really think life is unlivable, you should speak to someone, or perhaps try some medications. it helped me, and it will help you too.
 
Originally posted by: tami
she cared so much that when we both graduated college, she told me it's better that we don't speak to each other anymore or be friends any longer.
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Are you being sarcastic here, or not? :-

I'm really close to that point with a couple of friends. heh
 
Effexor.

I have a friend who had that same feeling that life was worthless if he wasn't "loved" or in a relationship, but Effexor seemed to take the edge off that feeling, & now he's just cruising along, still single, but actually pretty much enjoying most aspects of his life.
 
Originally posted by: aidanjm
Effexor.

I have a friend who had that same feeling that life was worthless if he wasn't "loved" or in a relationship, but Effexor seemed to take the edge off that feeling, & now he's just cruising along, still single, but actually pretty much enjoying most aspects of his life.
Click to expand...

What did he do to turn thing around?
 
After reading just the first page of this thread, this seriously sounds like Adult-onset Attention Deficit Disorder. Nothing seems to keep your interest (work, school, relationships, etc.) and it's hard for you to 'get it' with certain things. Please, find a good psychiatrist/psychologist and get help before you self-destruct. I watched my father-in-law go through this and it wasn't until he got counselling that he returned to his previously happy productive self (he was able to do it w/o medication, if you're worried about drugs).
 
Originally posted by: Aquila76
After reading just the first page of this thread, this seriously sounds like Adult-onset Attention Deficit Disorder. Nothing seems to keep your interest (work, school, relationships, etc.) and it's hard for you to 'get it' with certain things. Please, find a good psychiatrist/psychologist and get help before you self-destruct. I watched my father-in-law go through this and it wasn't until he got counselling that he returned to his previously happy productive self (he was able to do it w/o medication, if you're worried about drugs).
Click to expand...

Heh.... perhaps I didn't properly explain my mind as to its attention capabilities? I do not remember where I was talking about my attention span in this thread, though I'm sure I probably did. (See? My memory sucks.)

I seem to have an outrageously hard time focusing on certain things sometimes, and I have a hard time not-focusing on some things most of the time. For example, when I was in high school, my mind was *always* wandering whenever I had to read a textbook, do homework, etc. It would take me forever to do the slightest thing. I would usually get awesome grades on the assignment, after I got it done, but it took me forever to do it... and that happened the most when it was homework. Most of the time I was just fine as long as I was in school, but if I was at home, I could never concentrate on studying. I'd go to my bedroom (at the time, had no computers in my bedroom, still have no TV)... and try to study there, where there weren't any distractions... but it took me forever, because my mind was always wandering.

And then for the second part I mentioned (having a hard time not-focusing on some things)... if there is something extremely important to me happening in my life, or if someone needs my help and I'm unable to provide it for some reason, or other things like that - I just can't take my mind off of it. At the conference I worked at a little over a week ago, I could not stop thinking about a couple of personal situations that I really wanted to take care of, but could not because of my duties at the conference. I was able to get all of the work done that I needed to, in record time, but a couple of people had to "snap me out of it" a couple of times... I'd just stare into space for a minute or so, and they would walk over and bring me back to earth. It's extremely rare that I get that bad, though.

I'd guess that over 95% of the time, I can concentrate on things just fine (as long as there is nothing outrageously important happening in my life that day). But if it involves studying something intensely, there's no hope. :-\
 
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