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About love, friendships, and relationships

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Originally posted by: Lonyo
What I do is listen to music or occupy myself 99% of the time so I never get to think anything. Works wonders for you when you can't think about the bad stuff.
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that doesn't work for me :-\
 
Dude, I can relate. I have been feeling down lately. I am just trying to get by at the present.

One of the things that motivated me when I was younger was I didn't want the bad thingfs that happened to me in my earlir life to over shadow or make me who I was. So I strived to be a good person and not let the negative stuff tear me down. The only problem with this is that now that I am older and all, I found that most people don't care wheather you are a good person or not, or atleast that is hopw it seems on the surface. I do know that people care, at least some people. So what I am going to do is search for people that care. I might try volenteering or something in the near future. I am also going to seek out people who have had a hard life and never let it get the better of them. The only problem is that I live in a small rural place and there are very few people here that are my own age. I will probably have to go to a bigger city to do this. I won't move, but think that I can become active in some community project or something. The thing that sucks is that I don't have a support network where people aska dn care about what is happeneing to me, or others really. There is a lot of stuff that I am not going to get into because it wouldn't be far to them.

Hope you feel better Drew. Perhaps my rambeling doesn't mean anything, but I think it realtes to what you are going through.

P.W.

 
I just want you to know I'm thinking of you, I can't really think of anything to say though. I've never been through depression, so I don't know if I can really relate to you, but, I do think that you need to get a job or something, because your talking about how there is nobody that loves you, but how are you ever going to find people that love you If you stay at home moping about it all the time and not doing anything?
 
Sounds like you just want to ride the pity train to me. You don't like your life, but you don't want to do anything to change it for the better. Do you even know what would make you happy?

Why did you stop therapy??
 
Originally posted by: Muadib
Sounds like you just want to ride the pity train to me. You don't like your life, but you don't want to do anything to change it for the better. Do you even know what would make you happy?

Why did you stop therapy??
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Therapy was stopped (four years ago) after the agreement between the psychiatrist and myself that we were getting nowhere at all.

And I cannot afford to start going again.
 
After my first GF, I never really felt the "love" feeling for a while, but I know there's always somebody out there for me.

But I guess there's a difference when I'm 16 and you're 20
 
Originally posted by: brigden
Originally posted by: Xafgoat
Originally posted by: brigden
Originally posted by: Xafgoat
Originally posted by: brigden
Jesus, you people are fvcked up.
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How i see it is that we are just too smart for our own good.
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Bullsh!t.
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Ignorance is bliss.
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Right.

:roll:

Your brain doesn't work properly and you try to sell the idea that you're far too pensive for your own good.

Pffft.
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I think i am just more honest with myself than is good for oneself.

But since your brain works "properly" when i off myself one day you can stand over my corpse and say "see, I was right" without having to question your own existence. I guess I should envy you.
 
you are just feeling sorry for yourself. buck up soldier the war hasn't even started. life is a journey that some people have trouble getting through. doesn't mean you should end it, but look in a different direction because maybe the one you have taken hasn't been the right one. just please, don't do any harm to yourself, that's probably the worst idea of them all.
 
Originally posted by: bootymac
After my first GF, I never really felt the "love" feeling for a while, but I know there's always somebody out there for me.

But I guess there's a difference when I'm 16 and you're 20
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I'm not necessarily talking about the love for a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever... I'm talk about love for/from *anyone*. Like your parents.
 
Originally posted by: GeekDrew
I haven't felt loved by *anybody* in well over a year now... which makes me feel unloveable... like I'm not worth anybody's time. And when I feel unloveable, I just shut down, and stop caring... in the last year (since I've felt unloved), I've lost my job (a job that I might possibly have been able to salvage), ruined my credit history altogether, lost several friends (in real life), and have generally gone from someone that cared about every part of his future, to someone that does not care about anything except trying to find love.
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If you don't feel loveable, you probably act unloveable, too, which just perpetuates the problem.

If you need someone else to justify your existence, you're on the wrong track. No one can make your life worthwhile except you. It's what you give, not what you get.

 
Originally posted by: GeekDrew
Originally posted by: bootymac
After my first GF, I never really felt the "love" feeling for a while, but I know there's always somebody out there for me.

But I guess there's a difference when I'm 16 and you're 20
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I'm not necessarily talking about the love for a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever... I'm talk about love for/from *anyone*. Like your parents.
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So your parents don't love you!! Get over it!!! You can't change it, so why dwell on it? You aren't 10, you're a damn 20 yo man!! It's time you've started acting like it!!

If you really are having thoughts of suicide, you still need help. There are free mental health clinics. Check with your local hospital.

 
Originally posted by: Muadib
Originally posted by: GeekDrew
Originally posted by: bootymac
After my first GF, I never really felt the "love" feeling for a while, but I know there's always somebody out there for me.

But I guess there's a difference when I'm 16 and you're 20
Click to expand...

I'm not necessarily talking about the love for a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever... I'm talk about love for/from *anyone*. Like your parents.
Click to expand...
So your parents don't love you!! Get over it!!! You can't change it, so why dwell on it? You aren't 10, you're a damn 20 yo man!! It's time you've started acting like it!!

If you really are having thoughts of suicide, you still need help. There are free mental health clinics. Check with your local hospital.
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My parents don't love me... so what. It's not the fact that *they* do not love me that bothers me (used to, doesn't any more). It's the fact that I feel as though *nobody* loves me that bothers me.

And as for the hospital... been there, done that, too. If the local hospital determines that you're serious enough about suicide, they'll have the local sheriff's office transport you to the nearest mental health facility (which is a few counties away). But you'd better believe that you will be getting a very large bill for it.
 
Originally posted by: GeekDrew
Originally posted by: Muadib
If you really are having thoughts of suicide, you still need help. There are free mental health clinics. Check with your local hospital.
Click to expand...

Been there, done that, too. If the local hospital determines that you're serious enough about suicide, they'll have the local sheriff's office transport you to the nearest mental health facility (which is a few counties away). But you'd better believe that you will be getting a very large bill for it.
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Here's a list of some free or low cost clinics in your area.

 
Originally posted by: GeekDrew
I know it's a bad idea to post things this serious on ATOT, but at this point, I haven't got anything to lose anyway, so I might as well go ahead and do it. No cliff's notes. Find a less serious thread if you want to complain. Please read the entire post instead of just parts of it.

Last night, a close friend of mine and I were discussing life (mine, to be exact), and it seems that I've managed to hurt him quite a bit. I, however, don't understand how I hurt him. I'm going to jump right into the middle of a conversation, here, and hopefully you'll understand:

Throughout my life, I have been told by many, many people that they "love" me. Yet it is those same people that have hurt me the most - and I never felt that they loved me at all. However, the people that have *shown* me that they love me, whether they have said it or not, actually make me feel as though I'm loved (needed, cared about, whatever). Therefore, if someone says that they love me or care about me, but do not express it in some non-spoken manner, I disregard what they are saying as untrue.

I haven't felt loved by *anybody* in well over a year now... which makes me feel unloveable... like I'm not worth anybody's time. And when I feel unloveable, I just shut down, and stop caring... in the last year (since I've felt unloved), I've lost my job (a job that I might possibly have been able to salvage), ruined my credit history altogether, lost several friends (in real life), and have generally gone from someone that cared about every part of his future, to someone that does not care about anything except trying to find love.

Some people say that you have to support yourself, rely on nobody else for anything, etc... how the hell do you do that? I want to be self-sufficient as far as money, physical possessions, etc., goes... but I don't know how to survive while I'm feeling like this. I tried explaining it to a couple of friends as needing to feel loved in order to be happy... but I guess that's inaccurate somehow.... I need to feel loved in order to survive would more accurately describe how I feel. I just don't know how to describe it any better than that. 🙁

I've been told to go to college, I've been told to find another job, I've been told to go to bars to try to meet people... and none of those seem like practical options. If I had an excellent job, in which everyone was pleased (both myself and my employer) before I started spiraling downward into this deep depression, and I was unable to maintain that (even though I was given multiple chances), I don't see how I could possibly maintain a new job. College work is just out of the question... I would probably be expelled within a month or so, for telling some professor to go fvck himself. Just.... nothing seems important to me, at all, except knowing that I'm able to be loved. Without that, what point is there in continuing life? I cannot find any reason at all why anyone would continue to live if they felt that they would never find anyone that could love them (in real life). :-\

I do know that I could succeed in college, work, etc. - whatever I put my mind to - but only as long as I knew that *I* was complete, and had a reason to continue living - and I just can't justify it right now. :-\

So getting back to last night''''m assuming that I hurt my friend (who is an active member here at AT, BTW, an''''m sure is reading this) by indirectly saying that I d''''t feel like he loved me or cared. :-\ He said that he "loves me as a friend"... which I really ''''t know how to interpret''''m not trying to say that''''s lying or anything... I just ''''t know how to take that''''ve never felt as though anyone has cared about me unless t''''ve somehow shown it, and I ''''t feel that he has. :-\ Like... if he does care about me... great. I just ''''t *feel* that he does. His friendship does mean a lot to me, though. heh :-\

<sigh> And then of course there is a lot more I would like to say, but doing so would have consequences for other individuals, so In''''t do that. 🙁

MayI''''m much more emotionally needy than anyone else on earth. In''''t know... most of the time it seems as though I am. In''''t want attention, honestly... I just want to see other viewpoints on my situation.

I feel like this message (albeit long) is not complete... like te''''s something I still need to write in... but In''''t really know what that is off of the top of my head, so oh well. :
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I think you are perfectly sane and normal. Nobody(or at least most people) wants to live their lives alone. I currently live alone and have no friends because i burned some bridges, so my predicament is of my own making. I really n'''t have any advice for you but i do sympathize with you. I also see little or no light at the end of the tunnel.

You did not mention your age but this is probably not a healthy attitude if your still a young man. Maybe seeing some kind of therapist might help for you, I n'''t know.Talk to your friends and try to work things
 
Originally posted by: ManyBeers

I think you are perfectly sane and normal. Nobody(or at least most people) wants to live their lives alone. I currently live alone and have no friends because i burned some bridges, so my predicament is of my own making. I really dn''t have any advice for you but i do sympathize with you. I also see little or no light at the end of the tunnel.

You did not mention your age but this is probably not a healthy attitude if your still a young man. Maybe seeing some kind of therapist might help for you, I dn''t know.Talk to your friends and try to work things ou
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I'm 20. I've talked to therapists/psychiatrists/counselors/etc before... was a waste of time. :-

The few friends I have, have helped me more than anything else... though I'm sure their patience is wearing thin (I think mine probably would be if I was in their position).
 
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